S4:E96AI RECAP🎙️LIVE with Elizabeth Lotardo

Hi, I'm John Maxwell. When the top companies in the world are looking for trainers, speakers, and coaches, there's one name that stands above the rest, and that's Maxwell Leadership. Our certified team members have gotten proven results for companies all over the globe, and our reputation, I'm proud to say, is second to none. Some of our members have risen to the top of their profession, including the one you're going to meet today. I proudly introduce you to my friend, Bob Fabien Zinga.

Welcome to the Leadership and Success Podcast with your host, Coach BZ, where we help you lead with purpose and succeed with impact. If you're ready to grow into the kind of leader others want to follow, this podcast is for you. If you're determined to elevate your success and leave a lasting legacy, this podcast is for you. As my mentor, Dr. John C. Maxwell, reminds us, everything rises and falls on leadership. Leadership. Our goal is simple: to inspire you, challenge you, and equip you with insights that can transform the trajectory of your leadership journey. Welcome aboard to another episode of the Leadership and Success Podcast with Coach BZ.

Leading yourself is about controlling the controllable. It's owning, from whatever seat you're in, your work experience. Leading yourself is about controlling the controllable. It's owning from whatever seat you're in your work experience.

If you're looking to get ahead at work and in your career, now could be the perfect time. Elizabeth Cutarno is a LinkedIn Learning instructor and author of— You can be a leader So, let me ask you this.

I really believe in mentorship, and sometimes your mentor doesn't really have to be someone you have a personal relationship with. You can just read their work. But who are some of your mentors or thought leaders, people you follow that you think we should know?

So, Dorie Clark, who I mentioned, the author of The Long Game, has probably been the most instrumental voice in my own career development. I've also learned a lot from Alan Weiss. I have a whole section of his books down here. On consulting and how to build a business based on value-based fees. I think economically and from a strategic lens, that's really valuable insights. And I also learn a lot from books on, like I said, motherhood and parenting and relationships. I think we often believe that leadership development comes from this really specific lane of Adam Grant, who's great, Brené Brown, Simon Sinek, you know, that sort of A-tier crew. But I have learned so much from art and from music and from parenting that informs who I am as a leader and as an entrepreneur.

Wow.

About ambition and sort of redefining what success looks like to you in different areas of your life. So those two books to me, in, in the way I think, have been really instrumental.

Wow, thank you. And you also mentioned the podcast by Monica Lewinsky. I think we can definitely learn a lot from, from her. Uh, so let me ask you this, uh, what is maybe a song, a book, or a movie that would be your life's theme or anthem?

Oh, I love the movie It's a Wonderful Life, which is an old movie, but I think speaks to our need to feel a sense of agency, our need to feel significance. And through my work, while I don't always say the touchy-feely things— leading yourself, leading without formal authority, finding your purpose at work— there's definitely a through line to all of those things.

All right, everyone, this is Coach BZ. Welcome to the Leadership and Success Podcast. Today is Veterans Day, so I'm very, very thankful for that, all of the veterans across America and around the world, especially those currently deployed overseas away from their families and their loved ones. Thank you for keeping us safe. So before we get started today, let's do what is our custom. We're going to take just a moment, less than a minute, to be grateful for one thing today. I think I know what I'm going to be grateful for right now. So if you would close your eyes, maybe take a deep breath, Put yourself in your happy place and just think about how blessed you are today. What are you grateful for? I think for me today, I am grateful for all of the veterans. I've been in the Navy now for 21 years, and eventually I'm going to retire, but I'm glad for Gen Z, the next generation, they are raising their hand and they want to volunteer to serve in the Army, in the Navy, in the Air Force, in the Marine, in Space Force, in the Coast Guard. Whatever they can do, something bigger than themselves, keeping us safe and fighting for our freedoms. And there is really nothing greater than that. The Bible says, right, there is no greater love than a man who's willing to give his life for his friend. And that's exactly what you do when you wear the uniform of this country. So again, shout out to all of the veterans out there, and thank you for your service. We owe so much to you because without our freedom, we absolutely have nothing. So if you would type in the chat what you are grateful for today, and also let us know where you are joining us from. So today we are gonna have a 10-minute recap of the hour-long conversation I had with Elizabeth Lothardo, number one best-selling author, Leading Yourself. And I think it is so important for all of us to learn how to lead ourself. Even if you don't have a title, even if you don't have the following, how do you lead yourself? I think that is so critical, whether it's in the military, in the industry, in tech, or whatever industry you might be in. So I'm going to be playing two 5-minute videos made by my AI agents, and then if you have a question, type it in the comment, and I'm going to be back right after these two clips.

Ever feel stuck at work? You know the feeling. You're dealing with difficult bosses, a totally unpredictable economy, and a to-do list that just never seems to end. It can make you feel completely powerless. But what if the real key to taking back control isn't about changing everything around you, but changing something inside you? Well, today we're going to dig into the brilliant ideas of leadership expert Elizabeth Letardo to figure out how. Let's jump right in! And this quote right here—this is the heart of it all. This one idea is the foundation for everything we're about to talk about. It doesn't matter what's going on around you—you always, always have agency. See, the real power isn't in magically changing the situation, but in changing how you choose to respond to it. And let's be totally real for a second—these feelings are so common. LeTardo's work really gets this. It's not about pretending these problems aren't real. They are. We've all had those days where you feel like a tiny cog in some giant, confusing machine, right? Okay, and here's the big twist. This is the crucial shift in perspective. Instead of always looking outside for a fix, like a new boss or a better company, LeTardo challenges us to look inward. What she's saying is that the most powerful tool you have to make your work life better is your own mindset and your own actions. So that brings us to our first huge concept: self-leadership. And we need to be super clear about something right up front: this has absolutely nothing to do with your job title or how many people report to you. Yeah, this really breaks it down. We usually think of leadership as this external power thing. You know, your rank, your authority, being in control. But self-leadership? It completely flips that script. It's an internal game. It's all about personal discipline, having the humility to know you can always learn more, and taking total ownership ownership of what you do. So the key thing to get here is that self-leadership is an active, intentional practice. It's not just a personality trait you're born with. It's about consciously, deliberately directing your own thoughts and behaviors to get where you want to go. It's about owning your role, as Lothardo says, end to end, no matter how big or small that role feels. Okay, so how do we actually start doing this? Where do you even begin? Well, it all starts right here. With mastering your mindset. Because before you can change what you do, you have to change how you think. This is where the internal game really kicks off. And LeTardo breaks this down into 3 simple but powerful steps. First, you gotta stop trying to control everything. Because guess what? Total control is an illusion. Focus your precious energy only on the things you can actually influence. Second, you have to truly believe you can make a difference. If you have a victim mindset, it doesn't matter what skills you have. Nothing will work. And third, you have to learn to reframe challenges. And that third step is so important. When you're facing something scary, like layoffs or a big reorganization, your first instinct is fear. Of course it is! But LeTardo offers this amazing little mental hack: just tell yourself, "This is my chance." This is not about toxic positivity or faking it. It's a real, practical tool to shift your brain from threat mode into opportunity mode. Okay, so you've started working on your mindset. That's huge. Now what? Well, our next section is all about redefining your impact. This is where we take that internal shift and connect it to what you actually do every day. I mean, come on, we've all asked ourselves this, right? You're buried in spreadsheets or just answering a million emails and you just think, "Does any of this actually matter?" That feeling of being disconnected is a massive motivation killer. So, LeTardo's solution is brilliant. She calls it articulating your ripple effect. Just look at this example. Maybe your task for the day feels super mundane, like compiling customer complaints. But trace the impact. That list you make? It helps the product team find and fix bugs. Fixing those bugs creates a way better experience for the customer. And happy customers? They stick around, which helps the company and ultimately contributes to everyone's job security. See? When you connect the dots, even the smallest task has real meaning. Okay, this brings us to our final big idea: Influence Without Authority. This is the really tactical part. How do you actually get stuff done and lead people when you're not the one officially in charge? Oh, this is such a powerful and simple tip, it's a total game-changer. Look at the difference here: "I need you to attend this meeting" is a demand. It just creates resistance. But look at the other option. By starting with "you told me," you're showing you listened and you're framing your request around a priority they already care about. It turns a demand into a partnership. It completely changes the dynamic because real influence, it always starts with empathy. And if you had to boil all of this down, all these ideas into a single word, what would it be? For Lortardo, the answer is simple. Humility. It's not about charisma, it's not about authority. It's the humility to actually listen to people, the humility to admit you don't know everything, and the humility to empower others instead of just telling them what to do. So how do we put all this together into an action plan? Here's the playbook. Number 1, accept reality for what it is, but act anyway on what you can control. 2, name your ripple. Connect your daily grind to the bigger mission. 3. Influence people by showing you get what they care about. And 4. Learn to quit the small, pointless battles so you have the energy to win the ones that truly matter. Because, you know, in the end, that's the big takeaway from all of this. Leadership isn't some title you get. It's a choice. It's a practice you commit to every single day. It's all the small, intentional things you do that add up to a career that's not just successful, but fulfilling. So the only real question left is, what will you own today?

Welcome to our conversation on leading yourself when the world feels uncertain. You know, it's like taking charge of your inner compass even when everything else seems out of control.

Yeah, it's fascinating. It's about owning your mindset and responses. Rather than just relying on titles or external authority.

Exactly. And our discussion really dives into how true leadership starts with the person in the mirror. Discipline, humility, and ownership. It's like, even if your environment is less than perfect, you can still direct your own journey. Mm-hmm.

And that idea really echoes what Elizabeth Lattardo emphasizes. Control what you can and shape your perception.

Yep. And, you know, her approach is refreshingly realistic. It's not about chasing a title or waiting for that perfect scenario. It's about making the most of the present moment, even if your surroundings are chaotic.

Right. And it goes deeper into how our mindset is the foundation of all leadership. If we don't believe in our agency, then even the best skills don't stick.

Yeah, precisely. And think about this. Her method stresses that leadership isn't about what happens around you, but what you decide to do with what's inside you. It really turns the idea of you can't control everything into an opportunity for empowerment.

It's like instead of being helpless in uncertain systems, you pivot and control the controllables—your thoughts, your choices, and your responses.

Exactly. And that's one of the key lessons. And then there's the emphasis on articulating your ripple effect. Even a simple task can feel monumental if you see its impact on the mission.

Yeah, you mean connecting what seems mundane to a larger operational picture? That really makes work feel purposeful, doesn't it? It really does.

And this idea of purpose isn't just a corporate slogan. It's a lens for decision-making. If your purpose doesn't inform your daily actions, well, it's just marketing talk.

True, but I'm a bit cautious here. Sometimes purpose statements can be overused. Do you think that in some cases they risk becoming a bit preachy instead of really transforming behavior?

That's a fair point. While Elizabeth clearly argues for a lived purpose through tangible actions, there's always the risk of just, um, saying it without showing it. It really comes down to whether you're aligning your actions and decisions with your core values Each day.

Right. I like that challenge. Reminds us not to settle for empty words. So, in practical terms, how does one translate these ideas into day-to-day actions?

Well, for starters, it's about accepting that you don't have full control and then focusing on what you do control—your mindset and your response. It's like a checklist. Control the controllables, name your ripple effect, Reframe fear into opportunity. Yeah, and it even extends to leading without formal authority.

It's powerful how a simple phrase like "you told me" can transform requests into collaborative efforts.

Exactly, it's a nimble way to gain buy-in without commanding from a pedestal. It's, um, about turning resistance into partnership by aligning with others' priorities.

That idea really strikes a chord with me. It's about, you know, being empathetic and understanding that leadership is earned through care, not imposed by status.

Right on! And another compelling insight is how resilience is redefined. Instead of constantly pushing every single project, it's about knowing when to cut small losses so you can win the long campaign.

It's like micro versus macro resilience. Focusing your energy where it really counts, isn't it?

Absolutely, and it reminds us that every setback is an opportunity to learn and pivot. When uncertainty looms, instead of succumbing to fear, you say, "This is my chance." That shift in mindset sounds almost revolutionary.

It's a call to seize every moment of uncertainty as a moment of opportunity.

Yes, and it's especially important in today's rapidly changing environments, whether on the battlefield or Um, in a corporate setting, people really need to see that their inner strength and commitment define their leadership more than external factors.

And don't forget the integration of modern tools like AI. Elizabeth even touched upon using AI as a no-stakes field to practice tough conversations, which is a neat blend of tech and emotional intelligence.

Right. Yep, but that's the dual nature of technology, isn't it? It can amplify biases if not used carefully. So leaders need to ensure AI is a tool for raising awareness rather than confirming existing beliefs.

Absolutely. It's almost like, um, using technology intentionally to build genuine connections rather than simply automating responses. Exactly.

And finally, the whole conversation circles back to the personal element. Leadership is a daily practice. As Elizabeth reminds us, it's grounded in humility. Not authority, not bravado, but a willingness to keep learning and growing no matter what.

Mm-hmm. That's a powerful reminder, where every day is a new chance to lead yourself better, which in turn inspires others.

And that ripple effect, you know, begins with you. Whether you're a junior officer, a cybersecurity leader, or even balancing parenthood and mentorship, It all starts with being the best leader you can be in your own life.

Well said. It's a call to action for everyone listening. Seize your moment, be accountable, and lead with purpose and humility.

Exactly. And, um, really, that's the heart of it. Making meaning out of the madness and turning even mundane tasks into part of a larger mission with passion and intent. Yeah.

This conversation truly inspires action. Taking control of your responses, reshaping your mindset, and building a culture that's authentic and sustainable.

Absolutely. Thanks for joining in this engaging deep dive into self-leadership, where each of us holds the power to make a ripple in our world.

A pleasure indeed. Here's to turning every challenge into a chance to lead ourselves and ultimately our teams toward a brighter future.

All right, so this is it. This was the 10-minute artificial intelligence recap for the conversation I had with number one bestselling author Elizabeth Lutero about her book Leading Yourself. So self-leadership is so important. I think one of my biggest takeaways is you really don't have to have an office, a title, direct report for you to be a leader. You can be a leader all by yourself. And I remember when I first became a naval officer, I didn't really know what I was doing and I had a lot to learn. But even then, when I didn't have any direct report and I didn't have a big title or anything like that, I knew I was there to lead. And if nobody else leading, myself. I needed to make sure I did everything I was supposed to do within the time allowed for me to get all of my qualification, my training, and my certification. So I started working on that, and really, like my primary mentor says, John Maxwell, right, leadership is what? Influence. Nothing more, nothing less. So it's influencing yourself, but then after a while, you're going to start influencing the person to your right or the person to your left. You don't need to have a title to do that. But then once you start getting pretty good at this, I think you have to be careful not to manipulate people. To me, the difference between manipulation and influence is You manipulate people in order to take advantage of them for your own benefit. But when you influence people, you do it for their benefit, for the benefit of the community, of the organization. Like Papa John taught us, right? I have great value, but I do value and I want to add value to them. So that's really the servant leadership mindset. Anyway, I'm very curious to know what your 2 or 3 takeaways are and what one idea maybe not a brand new idea to you, but one idea you've been reminded of that you are going to put in practice today. All right, so we're gonna be finishing. Before I do, I want to remind you guys, tomorrow, Wednesday, I'm gonna be speaking to one of my brothers in arms, Lieutenant Colonel Alex Ramos. He's a coach now. He's going to be talking to us about leading without fear, U.S. Air Force retired. That's going to be a lot of fun. And then on Thursday, I will be talking with Coach Divya Smith. She's an investor, entrepreneur, and executive. We're going to be talking about building generational wealth. And then on Friday, we will have a 10-minute artificial intelligence recap from the hour-long conversation I had with my mentor, Shelley Archambault. So that's going to be on Season 4, Episode 97, AI. And hopefully you're going to be here with me. And again, you have any question for me, type it in the comment. And on our way out today, I'm going to play one more teaser from the conversation I had with Elizabeth. And so I really would like for you to go back to watch the full episode, Season 4, Episode 96. Okay, but I'm going to play one more highlight, and after that, I am going to play a tribute to all of the veterans. Many of them have been here on the show, and I am very, very grateful, thankful for all of the hard work they do for national security and them taking the time to share their wisdom and their experience. And hopefully, the junior officers who are following me, all of the future leaders, both in the military but in tech and the industry as well, are really getting something out of military leadership. Because in my opinion, really, the military, regardless of the branch, is a leadership organization. We just happen to have a whole bunch of hardware. But leadership is really what we do at the lowest level possible. And that is so powerful. So I'm going to play one more highlight with Elizabeth, and then we're going to play the tribute to veterans on this Veterans Day. And that's going to do it. Thanks so much for being with us today. Bye-bye.

So we've been fed this narrative, and some of it is true, that positional power is the only power. And while positional power can be helpful when it comes to decision-making, to sign off to budgets, it is hardly the only form of power. So what I wanted to set out to do in the course Leading Without Formal Authority, which I wrote in a similar timeframe to Leading Yourself, was offer a track for people who needed to get influence and buy-in and move work forward, even though they didn't have positional power. So whether you're a project manager, whether you're leading a team of your peers, whether you're an intern whose summer project depends on everyone answering your email. How do you operate from that seat when you don't have "because I'm in charge" to fall back on?

Okay, let me ask you the million-dollar question, especially for those who are in executive position like in IT or cybersecurity like myself. You tend to have to learn to influence people who don't report directly to you. You can't order them to do anything. Because they don't work for you. Unlike in the military where I can give order, I say, "Jump," and my sailors say, "How high?" But I tried to do that in Silicon Valley, it just didn't work. I just, it threw the wall. I couldn't understand how rebellious those Snowflake engineers were. But anyway, the million-dollar question for you is how do you handle resistance from people who don't report to you? But whose cooperation you need to succeed.

A quick hack you can use to get the buy-in of someone else who doesn't report to you is the phrase, you told me. And what that phrase enables you to do is put yourself on the same team as the person you are trying to engage. So I say, I need your sign-off. I need you to, you know, attend this series of meetings and make sure this project goes forward. I can say, you told me that one of our big priorities this year was getting new customers. Having you attend this meeting is gonna enable us to do that. You told me that one of your big priorities was to reduce our error rate. Having your sign-off on this new solution is going to help us do that.

Thank you for tuning in to the Leadership and Success Podcast with your host, Coach BZ. If today's episode added value to your leadership journey, be sure to subscribe, share, and join us again for more wisdom nuggets on how to lead better and achieve greater success. Remember, Remember, leadership is the most critical skill of our time. The world will always need leaders to inspire others, drive innovation, and execute meaningful strategy. So why not count yourself among the bold leaders shaping the 21st century? Until next time, stay inspired, stay committed, and keep leading with excellence.