S5E38🎙️ LIVE with Alan Kilian

Whether you are dealing with small businesses or big businesses, what type of leadership challenges do you see across all of them in your executive coaching practice?

Yeah, most of the business owners, as I was saying, uh, Coach Bizzy, is they start the business, they do what they know, they become captive to their company. And when they're in enough pain to say okay, they wake up one day and say Where's my family? Where's my friends? I'm not having dinner with my family. You know, I lost my friends because I haven't been intentional with them. You don't have hobbies, you know, they get in that pain and they say, okay, I've got to get out of this. Something has to change. Yes, I am, you know, dying on the vine here, if you will. So we see that. I mean, it's common. It's easy to build that margin back into life through the people. You know, we go in, we identify the team, we identify the right people in the right seat. We work with them to delegate and elevate. We put different frameworks in place. We talk a lot about efficiency, and I know we talked a lot about efficiency. Over the last hour. But keep in mind, within the efficiency side, we do put a lot of processes in place too, because you have to have those processes that everybody's aligned and everybody's operating on the same platform. You know that, um, coming from with your background, you know. So, um, so with that, you know, to answer your question, yeah, it's— I think it's a pain thing. When business owners start feeling the pain that they have the success but they don't have— they've lost priorities around family, you know, faith, friends, you know, fitness, finances. Wow. So what are those, what are those things that they, you know, it's like, how do I get it back? Most of them are so deep they don't know how. They don't even know where to start. Because that's what they've been doing day in and day out, thinking that's success.

That's really interesting because every time you talk about this, I think about the Eisenhower Matrix, right? Something I've learned— I think first person who told me about that was Stephen R. Covey, who wrote the, uh, what is it, Seven, uh, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, where it says, okay, there's a difference between what is what is important and what is urgent, right? And most people, they spend a lot of time doing things that are urgent but low value, not important at all, but it's urgent. Like the phone is ringing, they absolutely need to answer the phone or answer every email, but it's really not important, but it is urgent because it's right there, someone needs to do it. Just because somebody needs to do it doesn't mean that you have to do it. Maybe you delegate somebody who gets paid at a lower level to answer the phone take care of your email while you work on the most important thing. But those important things that may not be urgent, like talking about your relationship with your family, working out, your health, things like that, they're very important, but they are not urgent. You don't have to do something right now, but you do need to prioritize that. But anyway, a long way to say, the advice is to do what is important and urgent first, and then what is important but not urgent, and then whatever is urgent but not important, delegate to somebody else. And then definitely if it's not important and not urgent, absolutely don't do it. Just get rid of that. What do you think of that philosophy?

I think it's an incredible philosophy. I mean, yeah, it's kind of that whole prioritizing your mornings, you know, so you can build momentum doing the things that are important, you know, but not urgent. Right. What's important? What are your priorities in life? You know, how do you look at success? Right. Success driven by your financials and what's in the bank. Is success driven by, you know, how your kids turn out or your relationship with your wife or your faith or your friends? You know, I feel like in today's world, especially coming out of what happened in 2021, is, you know, people are looking for relationships more than ever. You know, we're looking for communities. And so if that's not a priority right now and you've got your head down and you're in the business and— wow, you come out of that, you're going to be in for a rude awakening because you don't have that community now, you know. And that's where we're seeing one of our platforms. We do a lot of retirement coaching. Um, with Dream Chapter, and, uh, you know, 45% of people that retire now out of 4 million a year don't enjoy retirement because they just lost the entire brother and sisterhood that they had for the last 40 years, depending on how long they've been at their last job. Those were the people they were doing life with.

Wow.

Now they're— they, they've retired and they're depressed, you know, they're drinking, they're, you know, doing whatever to numb that time sitting around together or by themselves because they just, you know, their work, their family was work family, you know, their kids are out of the house.

Yes.

So you want to talk about an eye-opener, man. We've had some conversations with people on that. And I'm sure that resonates, you know, nice with coming out of, uh, you know, absolutely, and all that. So yes, it's like that, and that community is so important to keep LinkedIn.

So wow, that is, that is so, so powerful. Again, for people just listening, we've talked so many ideas that could potentially change lives, but I think that's definitely One of them, because I've experienced this myself. I know one of my greatest mentors, General Colin Powell, is no longer with us, but he used to say, right, you have to avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. And I definitely experienced that myself when I was a Lieutenant Commander. When he told me I was no longer physically qualified to remain, and I felt like I was almost like a dead person walking around like, what do I do now? Like, who am I without my Navy career, but it is true. You have to understand exactly what is important in your life, what truly, truly matters. Wow.

We have to kill the pride to move forward. Yeah. You talk about ego. A gentleman said this to me the other day and I thought it was amazing, but he said, you know what ego stands for? And I said, I have no idea. He said, edging God out. Wow. Um, I thought that was pretty powerful.

Yes.

Yeah.

So, and also, now, in your philosophy, you talk about faith and then family. Why are those two things so important for someone who's trying to run a business, be profitable?

Well, I can only speak for myself, but that's, you know, that's my core, that's my anchor. That's what anchors me, um, each and every day, is starting out in the Bible in the morning. You know, my wife first, kids second. Yes. Being intentional with that, you know, with the relationships.

So, wow, that is really, really, really insightful. So we are almost out of time. Looks like we have 2 more minutes left. Can I get 5 before we land this plane? Okay, one quick question I wanted to ask is, what do you believe is the greatest lesson you have ever learned? In life, in business, in leadership in general?

The quickest lesson?

No, the greatest, greatest lesson.

The greatest lesson, um, that I've ever learned, um, I think for me, uh, just with all the different things, different companies, the amount of time I spent, the greatest lesson that I'm going to take it kind of to a regret is going into giving up my time with my friends and family and trying to chase financials. So what we just talked about, losing community. So some, you know, to answer the question of the greatest lesson is you got to prioritize, you know, for me, faith, family, friends, because That's what you're going to have when you're done working. That's what you're going to have when, uh, nobody else is around. Who are you going to call, right? Um, you've got that community, and I've seen it over and over again with— that's what's going on in the world that we're living in today. Yes, people don't have those lifelines, and it's important.

So, wow, so simple but so critical.

Wow. That's overlooked. It's overlooked. It's not a priority, you know, and not important until it is, right?

Yeah. But like, I live in Silicon Valley, right? We always work, you know, 50, 60, 70, 80 hours a week and never home, always working, working, working, working. But when the pandemic came, right, March 2020, everybody was forced to stay at home and slow down. People realized what was really, really, really important. But I am just a little bit surprised, almost shocked, that 2 years after the pandemic, we're going back to our old ways, the way we used to do things that didn't work very well for families and relationships and all of that. But you really have to be intentional with building those relationships, don't you?

100%. Yeah.

Yeah.

Nothing, nothing worth it is going to come easy, right? Yes. So whether it's relationships or business or marriage, man, so powerful.

So you have been so successful, just not only having your own businesses and scaling them, but then now coaching others to do the same. Why do you think you've been so successful as an entrepreneur and now as an executive business coach?

Um, I think from a, from an entrepreneur, it goes back to the fail fast mentality. You know, what they talk about is, you know, um, you only fail if you don't learn. So if you keep that mindset, you know, I'm not afraid to take chances. That's, that's a good thing and a bad thing over the years. Yeah, it's made me some money and it's cost me a lot more.

So yes.

From that standpoint, um, just take the chances. Just, you know, got an idea, you got to start, because if you don't, somebody else will. Um, what do you have to lose? Life is short, right? Just fail fast, you know, if you're going to do it. But from a, from a coaching standpoint, I can say there's a lot of the people I work with, I I resonate with them because I've been in their shoes. Yes, I've been in the trenches. I've made the mistakes with people, with the financial side, with, you know, the operational side of businesses. So what might take them, you know, a year or two to figure out, I feel like I can go in and turn those rocks over and identify a lot of efficiencies and a lot of opportunities for growth and cost cutting and profitability a lot quicker just because I didn't know what I didn't know when I was in it, and I had— I figured it out. So, and I've had a lot of coaches over the years to help me, help guide me through that.

So, yes. Wow, that is really powerful. You reminded me of the quote I heard from both Les Brown and Miles Monroe. They say the richest place in any city is the cemetery. That's where our dreams went to die. People had dreams, they felt like God had called them for a purpose, but for whatever reason, they were afraid. They didn't take a chance on themselves and on their dreams. And that is so sad. So for those listening, you know, take a chance on yourself, even if you don't succeed. No, at least you are in the arena. At least you tried.

Wow.

So what are you learning these days? I know leaders are learners. What kind of things have you been learning lately?

Um, I've been trying to learn how to scale, you know, within and helping companies scale. Um, the AI world is so mind-blowing to me. I, I wouldn't consider myself a technology person, and so really trying to learn that has been fun and frustrating at the same time. Yeah, it's scary. Uh, so That I've spent a lot of time there. I've got a great assistant that kind of helps me, helps guide me through that. I'm reading a great book right now by Benjamin Hardy, you know, The Science of Scaling. He also wrote, you know, 10X is Easier Than— or no, was it 10X is Easier Than 2X, I think. So, you know, Just learn how to help people, learn how to be patient, you know, as a father, as a husband. You know, my God, my girls are younger and I don't want to take that time for granted. So yes, that's been my priorities.

Wow, that is quite powerful. And, uh, if you could choose 3 people to have dinner with, they could be alive, dead, or even, uh, fictitious characters, who would you choose and why?

Well, definitely, uh, God would be one of them. Just, uh, you know, that's, that's where I tie everything back to. Uh, otherwise, let's see, I, I had the opportunity and the privilege to spend quite a bit of time with, uh, with a gentleman named T. Boone Pickens that was a wildcatter over the years, oil and gas. Just really enjoyed our time together and I'd love to, you know, sit down and— and he's passed, but I considered him an incredible mentor and it really took me under his wing back in the day. And then just as a kind of a funny one, because I grew up on the farm and, you know, John Wayne, I was always fascinated. I know he He's a fictional, right? Yeah, by nature. But, um, you know, John Wayne was the— was just the, you know, he was the man back in the day, right? Watching old westerns with my, uh, with my family.

So yeah, I guess, uh, true American man, I guess, a man's man, cowboy. And, uh, wow, thank you for Sharing that, what, uh, so you've already mentioned two books. One is, uh, 10x Is Easier Than 2x, and then the other one is, uh, The Science of Scaling, both by Dr. Benjamin Hardy. Why should my audience read those two books?

Um, I think they'll just resonate with how to scale in today's world, you know, what's what that looks like. I mean, it's going to fit everyone's business differently. Yes. But there's just a lot of wisdom.

Wow. So is there maybe like a song, a book, or even a movie that would be your life's theme or anthem?

That's a tough question. I don't know if I have an answer to that one. You're putting me on the spot. I don't really remember. I don't watch a lot of movies. So I don't really remember all of them. And if you want to talk about music, I am all over the board.

What about maybe a Bible verse you keep going back to, you really relate to?

Yeah, I can do all things through Christ. Yes. That is the one that—

Yeah, I guess if there is resilience, that's it. It's one of my favorites. Favorite also. Even when things, uh, seem dim and there is no hope, you know that, no, I can do it, there is a way. And, uh, wow, powerful, powerful. Okay, uh, if you had one and only one day to live, what would you have liked your final contribution to be?

Uh, I would spend it with my, my family and my friends and just bring them all together and you know, probably take a poll of, of what we could do together to have the most fun and the most laughs and the biggest impact. So for me, it's, you know, it's not about the money, it's not about the success, it's not about how I'm viewed. It's all about the relationships and what we can impact.

So did your definition of success change since you were 25 years old? 100%.

Yeah, I, I was chasing the dollar, um, you know, for a long time.

So, and what does success mean to you now?

Um, helping people, like just pouring into people, investing in people, helping them get their priorities straight, helping them out, make all the mistakes that I did.

So if you had a magic wand and you could solve any problem in the world, what is the one problem you would like solved tomorrow morning?

Um, can we get rid of all the media? Yeah, and all just the, uh, just the lies and everything going on in that world.

Yes, yes. I think for most people, we—

horse and carriage, maybe.

Yeah, our focus is under attack because there is just too much distraction, too much signal, and people can't just focus on their own goals and their purpose. I think that's one of the biggest problems we have right now. We get so distracted so easily with all of the media, social media, AI, and all of that stuff. But Wow. Okay, so we are coming toward the end of the show. Is there a question I should have asked you that I didn't get to ask you?

I don't think so. I really enjoyed catching up with you. This was awesome.

Thank you. Again, I don't know what happened to my platform today, but I am gonna get this fixed. So this is where I ask you, we are pretty much at the end now, what can we do to add value back to you?

Let me know how I can help. Um, you know, we do— again, we do coaching, we do consulting, um, got a great team. We do leadership training, we do retirement coaching. So here to help however we can. Um, happy to jump on a call, you know, We don't just— we're here to help.

So fantastic. And again, your LinkedIn, linkedin.com/Alan-Kilian, very easy to remember for those who want to get in touch with you. All right, so, uh, now let me ask you the most important question of the show before we close. Uh, if you could go back and give a piece of advice to your 17-year-old or 25-year-old self, when you first started your career. Standing at the edge of this incredible career you've had, being a serial entrepreneur and now a business coach, what would you say to your 17-year-old self?

I'd probably have a conversation with myself around my priorities. You know, in the world that we grew up in, I didn't grow up with much, so I felt like I had to accomplish something to be someone. I think if you were to draw a box and you had human being over here and human doing over here, I feel like the Western world that we live in tells us to— you're a human being, and in order to be somebody, you have to go be go do it. And I think if you take it back to the nature of, you know, God and our faith, God said you're a human being, now go do something with it. Yeah, right. So I would, I would not focus on, you know, I'd focus more on the people and the relationships in my life and how to—

wow—

than I would chasing the dollar, because I know that God will take care of Everything is if you're taking care of this, you know.

So that is quite, uh, wisdom right there. I am a human being, not a human doing. There's a big difference. Wow, wow, thank you so much for teaching us. That's— that is simple but quite powerful. Okay, uh, to, to end this, uh, don't take too long. No, whatever first comes to your, to your head, it's going to be, uh, lightning round. What is one word that defines great leadership?

Um, honesty.

Honesty. Okay. Morning routine or practice that keeps you grounded?

Uh, Bible app.

Okay. Book or quote that changed your life?

Um, Prophet First is the book.

Prophet First. Who's the author?

I think it was David McKnight.

Okay, very good. And what are we going to do with the 3 books you mentioned? I'm going to add them to our digital library. I started this May of last year. We already have over 300 books in our digital library from people like you who recommend that we read those. So I will make sure to add that. Who inspires you most today?

You know, right now is my 13-year-old daughter that just started barrel racing. Could not be more proud of her.

You better enjoy it. I have two daughters. My first one is already 24, out of the house, and our second one is 18 and about to go to college this year. So it's like they were born yesterday. I can't believe it, but just, woof, they are gone. It's, uh, you better enjoy the time you have with your teenager for sure. Okay, what is the leadership habit you refuse to compromise on?

Uh, I'll go back to honesty, like just being open and honest and transparent with everyone I work with and all my teammates.

And what's the question every leader should ask themselves frequently?

How are you helping others be successful?

And what did you want to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a sports medicine doctor.

Really? Okay, you haven't done that, have you? Okay.

What? I think I made all A's, and then my freshman year I made a D in anatomy.

Yeah, yeah, actually I had to take that too. I was a biology and chemistry major. Wow, okay. Uh, what are 3 adjectives describing you as a child?

Pardon me?

3 adjectives describing you as a child.

Uh, probably honoree. Hardworking and honest.

Or, I mean, what about as an— as an adult?

Harder questions than you were asking me earlier.

Yeah, I know. What about as an adult? Anything has changed?

No. Uh, I— my wife would tell you I'm still pretty honorary.— but, you know, just, I think, truthful and honest and helpful.

Okay, we are almost done. So another question I have for you: if you had the ear of every aspiring entrepreneur listening to you right now for the next 60 seconds, what would you tell them to do tomorrow morning?

If you are an entrepreneur that hasn't started, I would tell you to start. Just figure it out, take your chances, and let's go. You know, if you're an entrepreneur that's in the weeds, I'd tell you to step back, find somebody that can hold you accountable, and get your priorities straight.

Wow, that could change a life. Thank you so much. I always like to end with something positive. So what is something you are feeling optimistic about right now?

I'm feeling optimistic just about the The— well, even though we talked about AI, I am feeling optimistic about the AI world and how that's changing organizations with efficiency.

But so many people are afraid of AI, though. It's going to take away their jobs.

Yeah, I, I don't know. I, I think there's certainly jobs that are going to be replaced by that. Yeah, but if you make yourself and you work hard and you make yourself irreplaceable, those are the ones who are going to be successful.

Wow, thank you. That's quite positive. Okay, and this is it, the very last question I'm going to ask you, and thanks again for giving us extra time today. I really do appreciate that. So much learning from you today. What is one word that represents our shared experience on this podcast today?

I think insightful and amazing.

Thank you, thank you so much, and I'm always so, so grateful. I'm so grateful, Alan, that you took the time to be one of our master teachers today. And what you've taught us, I think, could literally change people's life if they do put it in practice. Again, it's not that complicated. It's pretty easy. It makes sense, but it's really, in my opinion, it's all about the doing, the execution. So thanks again, and I really appreciate that.

Yeah, thank you. I appreciate you having me on.

Thank you. Bye. All right, everyone, that was Alan Killian, and I think you've really learned something that's gonna help you be a better leader but also achieve higher level of success. So I am going to be back later today. I'm going to be interviewing Kat Wang, and she's an expert in AI, in cybersecurity, and in quantum computing. I really look so forward to speak to her. I believe it's going to be for 4 PM California time, so 7 PM on the East Coast. You do not want to miss it. And I am also— I know I am really behind. We studied the book of Proverbs, one chapter every day in January, and I am using artificial intelligence to give us a 10-15 minute summary recap of that. So I know I owe you guys. I believe we have to do Proverbs chapter 16 Proverbs 17, 18, 19, and now 20 also. I promise you I am going to make time for that. So sometime today, I don't know when, but I'm just going to do it back to back to back. We are going to catch up, and then tomorrow we're going to study Proverbs chapter 21. Again, this is not a religious study. It's just a focus on the ancient wisdom and the leadership lesson that I believe that even today, 2,000+ years after the book was written, are still relevant. All right, that's all I have for you. Have a couple of more interviews scheduled for next week, and I really look forward to that. But again, make sure you listen to Kat Wang. I'm going to be speaking to her. I am trying to find— I should have a flyer I've used for that interview. Just give me a second. Okay, here she is. I think this is going to be really, really, really fun. And by the way, she's also my friend in the spotlight this week. Every Friday, I choose a member from my network and I wanna put the spotlight on them and really highlight their achievement. And Kat Wang is my friend in the spotlight this week. So again, I'm gonna be speaking to her about Commanding the Future: AI, Quantum, and National Cyber Resilience. That's gonna be at 4:00 PM Pacific time, 7:00 PM Eastern time today. She's a mission-driven cyber strategist Ecosystem builder and the servant leader. You do not wanna miss it. Okay. That's all I have for today. And thanks again. And I hope to see you later today. Bye for now. Thank you for tuning in to the Leadership and Success Podcast with your host, Coach BZ. If today's episode added value to your leadership journey, be sure to subscribe, share, and join us again for more wisdom nuggets on how to lead better and achieve greater success. Remember, leadership is the most critical skill of our time. The world will always need leaders to inspire others, drive innovation, and execute meaningful strategy. So why not count yourself among the bold leaders shaping the 21st century? Until next time, stay inspired, stay committed, and keep leading with excellence.