ADHD & Arguments in Relationships

15 Jul 2024 · 1 min

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In this segment of his YouTube series, Brett Greene explains the second major way ADHD can disrupt romantic relationships: frequent arguments and frustrations. He illustrates how seemingly minor disagreements—such as a partner repeatedly asking the ADHD‑partner to fold towels in a specific pattern—can quickly become sources of conflict. Greene points out that neurotypical partners often interpret the ADHD partner’s repeated “mistakes” as intentional or deceitful, while the ADHD partner experiences these actions as a result of brain‑based processing differences. He emphasizes that openly sharing the internal neuro‑cognitive experience can help the neurotypical partner understand that the behavior isn’t malicious, reducing tension and fostering empathy.

Chapters

Once again, we're going to dive into the top 3 ways that ADHD can disrupt relationships. And last time we talked about the first way, which is communication. Today we're talking about the second way, which are frequent arguments and frustrations. Arguments often stem from communication issues. So for instance, if your partner is getting upset because you've been told a couple of times to fold the towels in 3s instead of 2s, but you continue to fold them in 2s, your neurotypical partner may think, oh, you're lying to me because your neurotypical partner's brain doesn't operate this way. For them, they thought about it 3 or 4 times and thought, oh, so my partner must have thought of it 3 or 4 times and decided not to do it. If you share that this is happening in your brain, that can help the other person in the relationship understand that you're not doing these things on purpose. You're not trying to be malicious. These are actually, you know, things with brain chemistry that you're having to wrestle with.