Brooke Richey, a vocalist and trauma survivor, argues that guilt and shame from trauma can lighten through telling your story to trusted people. She describes mirror work, where you replace negative self-talk with affirmations, as a concrete practice to shift belief. Sharing painful history reduces shame's power when met with empathy.
Hey YouTube and welcome to my channel. I'm Brooke Richey. I am a 20-year vocalist and multi-trauma survivor, an indie rock artist and a film composer, and also trying to be a public speaker because I really like being on stages. So today I want to talk about something that's really, um, a sensitive topic. It's how to manage guilt and shame through this process of healing your trauma and your complex post-traumatic stress disorder, the suppressed memories, the weight of everything. So this is something I am radically trying to work at in the world, meaning the more you share what's happened to you with others, you reduce the amount of guilt and shame in your body. Guilt, shame, for one, shame, trauma, it is all held here. It's in your face. If you've heard the term, the phrase trauma is a face, look at your face. This is— this we wear, we wear what's going on in our bodies, right? Okay, we wear it, we wear our love. Or the lack of love that we have in life. So when they say trauma is a face, it's true. Trauma is a face, and guilt and shame and unresolved feelings and trauma, it's held in your face. So the point of this video is to encourage you to share with more people, because when we share with more people and we make this a universal effort, We reduce shame. We reduce guilt for something that happened to us, right? So, so often we want to take the experience, the negative experiences, the traumas, the injustices that happen against us, and we want to hold on to them for some reason. We want to hide them because we don't— we think that when we do that, it will just go away. If I just stuff it in the closet, if I just hide it under the rug, under the bed, stuff it in a bag, it's— no one will ever see it. It's gone because no one will ever know. That's the problem. That is the problem. If you don't let other people know, it stays here. Here, like here, here. It stays in your body. And I don't know about you, but it gets really heavy the longer you carry it. Speaking from, I carried a 22-year event around that was never processed, never spoken about. That is what created complex post-traumatic stress disorder in my life. It got heavy. And so to radically get rid of it, like a waving of a magic wand, share it with the world. Like, that, that was my solution. And it— this kind of ties in, this kind of ties in, if you've heard of the let them theory, with letting people treat you how they're going to treat you when you share Your truth. When you share, this happened to me when I was 9 years old, this happened to me when I was 15 years old, and you've been carrying that shame and that guilt with you, wearing it as a face. The assumption is that people are going to look at you And harp on that shame and that guilt. The assumption that you have is that people are going to blame you for the experience and judge you thinking, oh my God, you're good for nothing, right? It's wrong. Some people will do that. Some people will do that. Some people will take advantage of the vulnerability of you sharing your truth. Other people will embrace it and applaud you for it. They'll say that's really brave that you did that, that you shared this. And So just think of it like this. If you've ever been— if you've ever been so angry about something, you've been sad about something, and you're like, I just need someone to talk to, it's the same concept. Um, but it's about guilt and shame, and guilt and shame are very, very sensitive topics for us humans. And this is just my personal vendetta of, okay, I just carried way too much shame for way too long. I don't want it. I don't want it anymore. And by me sharing it with other people, I eradicate shame in my own life and in their life, because then they can look at me. And by my being free and being like, whoo, that was way too much. It sucks that that happened. I'm, you know, I'm doing what I need to do to take care of me and processing everything. But when I eradicate shame and guilt for myself, I also do that for others. And then if we do that universally, What do you think's gonna happen? We eradicate guilt and shame, and then we raise our moral standards for being humans, right? Um, I hope this is tracking. I hope you're tracking with this. So I'm gonna wrap this video up. Um, you do not need to feel— you don't need This is the thing: you don't need to carry the guilt and shame. I want to challenge you to do your mirror to do mirror work. Get in front of the mirror and tell yourself what you believe about yourself, and if it's negative, you challenge it with the opposite. So if you say, "Oh, I suck." Say the opposite. Say I'm awesome. Okay? Over and over and over again till you believe it. So, and that's the thing about this. It's like you can't— if you don't share what happened to relieve yourself of the guilt and shame, you're not going to get to that point. You're not going to get to that point where you can actually start challenging those negative beliefs. And I want you to get to that point. So that you can get to the next point and the next point, which after you challenge those beliefs and you actually realize, oh yeah, I am an effing B. I'm badass. Like what's stopping you? That's the thing. That's the thing. The what's stopping you? And now I'll wrap this up. I know what's stopping you. What's stopping you is the feeling. It's the overwhelming feeling. So that's why I think you should tell people. I think you should go and tell as many people as you're comfortable telling, because the more you tell people the more you give others a chance to raise their standards, to raise their vibes, or not. And that, going back to my last video on certainty and security, you'll know what's a secure attachment in relationships, which gives you a more secure life. You'll know what's more certain because because you're certain in the guilt and the shame that is associated with your past experience, and in your stepping out bravely and vulnerably and sharing it, then you have clarity. That's where you have clarity, and that's the thing if. I'm talking to anyone here that has, you know, fog brain with CPTSD right now. I want you to find that clarity. I want you to find that clarity. It starts with connecting with yourself and sharing both with yourself and others. So if you want help, please don't hesitate to get in touch. I have Amplify Your Voice. It's my program designed to get you unstuck, out of the fog, out of uncertainty, into clarity with your life. Um, you can even uncover suppressed memories with this program, and I really truly want to help you. So links below for that and a few other things where you can support me, as well as a few other businesses that I, uh, support as well. So thank you, and I'll see you in my next video.
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