How to Heal Your CPTSD By Identifying Nexus Points

Hey folks, welcome to my channel. I'm Brooke Richey, a 20-plus-year vocalist, indie rock artist, um, film composer, and multi-trauma survivor. And if you're here and you're someone that's also a fellow trauma survivor like me, I see you, I'm here for you, and I'm glad you're here. And if you're here and you're an artist, you're someone that just feels stuck in their career, this also is a place for you, um, like maybe like you're in psychological quicksand, like your career is not going anywhere, this is also for you because I come with a holistic approach in what I do. And it's from, you know, 20+ years of being a trauma survivor and a vocalist, 2 things that require your voice. And to get a little bit more into that, your voice is your body's regulator, it's your communicator, it's your navigator in life. And that is what I help my clients do. Is to regulate, communicate, navigate, expand their worlds through the instrument that's built inside their body. It's literally there for a reason. And I think that's to create life. And so today I wanna talk a little bit, we're still talking about complex post-traumatic stress disorder and reverse engineering. And one way that you can reverse engineer your CPTSD CPTSD is by finding your nexus points and coming around those nexus points, embracing them, reintroducing them into your life maybe. What is a nexus point? Let me talk about that. A nexus point is a symbiotic relationship, as in one will not exist without the other. In crime, in law, there has to be a nexus point in order to convict someone of something, right? And that's why if you're in America, we live in a country where you are innocent till proven guilty. There has to be a nexus point of beyond a reasonable doubt, right, that this thing did happen by this person at that time and whatever, all those things. That's a nexus point. And that's just one way to look up— look at it. But it's a symbiotic relationship, right? Like, you can't say, oh, that person stole, but there's no proof of it, right? It's only knowing that someone stole something. It's like, say, from like a grocery store or something like that. That kid stole something when they actually didn't, or maybe they did, but there's no proof of them stealing it. Like, there's no proof. Where's the nexus point that connects that person to that item that was stolen? That's a nexus point. Another way to look at it, which is my favorite way to look at it really, But I think a lot more people register with crime because America is obsessed with crime, um, is through a fig and fig wasps. So if you know what figs are, it's a fruit from a tree. If you don't know how they're created, it's actually by a female fig wasp. The wasp gets trapped inside of a flower bud bloom on the tree, and once it gets trapped in there I think that's the genders. It's something about whatever gender wasp and the gender bloom. But basically, a wasp gets trapped in a bloom and it can't get out. And so then what happens? The bloom ends up breaking down the wasp, some enzymatic thing happens, and then a fig starts to grow. So one does not exist without the other. That's a symbiotic relationship. nexus point. And when it comes to trauma, you want to find these nexus points. You want to find those points of pain, of life-crushing pain. But those life-crushing pains, little pockets, you know, that happen along our life and our journey, are actually invitations to grow. Um, and I believe firmly that they are actually the guiding lights for you and what your path is supposed to be. Um, and that's why you've got to lean into them, is the thing. And this just drives me nuts because people that have CPTSD— listen up, listen up, listen up— if you are here and you have CPTSD, you are a trauma survivor. You are someone in this world that holds so much power. You have so much power that you don't even recognize you have Because of the light that's in you, every single source of evil, of darkness, of everything negative in this life is going— it has come for you, it's going to come for you because of the impact that you can have if you overcome your trauma and learn how to put boundaries around that light. I need you to— I need you like Listen, listen to this on repeat. This is for you. You are meant to be here. Oh, you're like, you were meant to be here. And that's the thing that happens to us. That's what goes— that's what switches in our brain when we experience trauma. We, we want to jump into these assumptions of I don't belong, I don't matter. Because of the, the extent of the betrayal on our own humanity, right? Because it's not just the people that did things to us, it's not just the event itself, it's the fact that we as a human ended up in that situation and now we bear the responsibility of how did I get myself in this situation. Okay, now we can slow down, we can take a deep breath a little bit. Right? There's so many different factors. That's the point. That's the point. You are the person that can show all these other people how to overcome. You are the person that holds all this power because you're getting attacked from three different sides. Does that make sense? Like, it's not just a physical attack. It's not just. It's not just one or the other. You're getting attacked spiritually, mentally, and physically when you experience trauma, because trauma lives in the body, and our spirit is in our body. Breath is spirit. If we're not breathing and we're, we're anxious, and anxiety causes us to heighten up from, from here up, it's like we cut off our breathing. Our brain cuts off from our breath. We limit The oxygen that gets to our brain when we're anxious. Okay, and then what happens? Because we limit that, then we have more physical ailments come up. So it's our physical, it's the mental, and then your spirit is also crippling. It's getting crippled in the process. So I'm going to say it one more time, and then I'm going to move on talking more about nexus points. If you are here and you are a trauma survivor, The reason why you have gotten attacked so many times in your life, I don't care whatever it's been that's happened to you. And I say I don't care because it's not that it doesn't matter what happened to you. I say I don't care because it doesn't matter that it happened. What matters is that you overcome it. That's what I mean. And I need you to look at me when I say that because I'm a small woman, and if you've read my story, you'll understand why I say that. It doesn't matter what's happened to you. What matters is that you come out on the other side of it because of the power and the impact. There is so much in you. There is— there's so much in you that needs to be Shared, experienced, and amplified in this world. And that's why I say I'm not leaving. That's why I say get out of my way. If you've listened to my music with Blackbird Collective, um, that's why I say those things, because I know And you should know it too. So getting on to the nexus points, you want to find these nexus points. What do they look like? If you know anything about my story, I had a suppressed memory kick in at 15 years old, um, after a traumatic event that resulted in just a lot of guilt and shame. And it's at the worst time of your life because you're in high school. I had braces on, or I was about to get braces, and I had to wear this backpack in this event that had happened in the whole ordeal. Oh my gosh. And I loved this backpack. I was really excited when I got it a couple years ahead in middle school, but when I was wearing it during this experience, it just amplified the guilt and the shame that was going on in the moment. And I got rid of that backpack. So this backpack is a nexus— was nexus point, is a nexus point in my journey because it represented 2 things. It represented the trauma, the abuse, and the neglect, everything that happened in the moment. And it represented that, but it was also that experience, me leaning into it, finding, remembering the backpack, going and buying a new backpack that was just like it. And then eventually leveling up, getting another new backpack, um, that was colorful but not so much and more adult. Actually, it has butter yellow on this, or kind of butter yellow. Um, it's more of an orange, um, kind of like this tone. But, um, anyways, you lean into that because it's part of your story, and then you remember, oh yeah, A backpack, it's not just my trauma and the guilt and the shame. The backpack was something I was excited to get. I was excited to be like, to have this colorful thing, you know? It made school exciting, right? It made, you know, it was part of my self-expression, especially because I got the backpack in middle school. I think it was like 8th grade. Um, where I went to a school with where we wore uniforms. And so what— how could you express yourself? Your backpack, your shoes, um, your jewelry, and sometimes belts, I think, is kind of what we do. Like studded belts were really big, wristbands. Anyways, if you're a '90s baby, hey. Um, But it was, it was the self-expression. And so that's the thing, my self-expression tied then to this traumatic experience that I suppressed. I got rid of the backpack, I got rid of my authenticity. This is why you find your nexus points. And you might ask, well, how do I find them? Where do I go about doing this? Like, how do I go about doing this? You, you gotta, um, stay curious. Never stop being curious. One of the best professors, mentors I've ever had told me this in college and said, never stop being curious. And I take that to heart with me everywhere I go. Even on days when it's hard, I say, never stop being curious. Be curious about what you can do even though you feel this way right now. Be curious about what you can make Even though it feels impossible right now. Be curious, keep showing up. That's also something I say. Um, and so what you'll start to find then is familiarities. That's what I mean. What— that's what's next. In order to find these nexus points, um, you're looking for familiarities of that feels familiar and I don't know what, or that's kind of like déjà vu. That's reminding me of something, whether it's sights or colors, sounds, um, names even. These are all things for you to be able to track back, right, and get everything kind of in alignment. Because I know with your CPTSD, because I've been there, I'm still healing my own CPTSD, But with it is, it's— there's just a lot going on, right? Um, so kind of embrace the spaghetti brain, I guess. Um, and I, I always think back to like growing up, we would take spaghetti and like throw it at the fridge, and if it, if it stuck to the fridge, then we knew it was ready. I don't know where we got that from, but that's what my family did. And, um, testing it or whatever. And sure, timers exist, but that was a fun way to do it. But, uh, embrace it. That's the thing, embrace it. And then, you know, while you're on your way, just like, just ask yourself, that reminds me of something. What does it remind me of? And it may or may not be a suppressed memory. Um, I do think that anyone with complex PTSD Um, I mean, we know this, like, your memory center gets messed up, uh, with complex trauma. Your prefrontal cortex gets messed up and gets weakened, and, uh, your ability to focus, right? So that's the thing. When you can focus and find those familiarities, right? I don't know why I did quotes there, but when you can find those familiarities to your subconscious mind, to your memory center, you're connecting the dots, you're getting in alignment, then you're carving your path more clearly. And because it's— because why? It's certain. When you find those certain points, that's the whole thing about the nexus points. It's what's certain that is missing, or it's hazy. For you. And that's kind of why you have CPTSD, is because there was a lot of certain things that you knew, that you felt, that you couldn't process. And now you're having to go back and like do all this, this work of processing. So the quicker that you find these nexus points of, oh yeah, I remember why I got rid of that backpack— it's the certainty around these nexus points. Because when you find these nexus points and you can pinpoint, right, you've got to be able to pinpoint this and accurately label. I got rid of this backpack because why? Which meant I got rid of not only the trauma, I got rid of my authenticity. What was attached to this backpack? For me, that was my self-expression, my authenticity, my ability To choose, right? And have my choices be something I could do safely in the world and not have it be attached to guilt and shame and trauma, right? To negative experience. And so getting rid of the backpack, um, I got rid of my self-expression, my authenticity. And then the next year, people started asking me, why are you angry all the time? That's my face. I don't know. But, um, I wore an RBF. So if I intimidate you, I don't know, it's, it's a hard habit to shake. Um, anyways, I think I'm gonna wrap this up. So I hope this helps you. Drop in the comments if you have any questions on this, on finding these nexus points. Or drop in the comments, yes, I want to work on this. Like, say that you're going to do these things because you gotta proclaim it. That's the thing. You have to say what you're going to do in this life, and that's what's going to happen. Again, your voice, the words you speak, your regulator, communicator, navigator. What you say becomes your external Reality. Um, what you do, like, doesn't always really matter is the thing. It's what you say and what you're telling yourself, what you believe in the subconscious, um, which if you have a suppressed memory, it's in your subconscious, and you could be missing on a whole side of your authenticity that's hiding because of this trauma you've rejected. And to say it one more time, you have been Targeted and attacked, as someone to go through so much trauma because of the level of impact and power you have in this world. And like great Uncle Ben always says, with great power comes great responsibility. Response-ability. If you've ever heard this broken up, it's response-ability. It's your ability to respond. With great power comes great responsibility. So I'm a nerd. Um, thanks for being here. Again, if you would like help with any of these things, please consider joining me in Amplify Your Voice. I have a free training in holistic voice development, links for that below, and I would love to see you there to help you get unstuck, to help you heal. Get on your way. And really end the cycle if that's what you want to do, because you can do it. Um, I really believe and I know that you can do it. Just look at me, like, you can do it. So anyways, thank you, and I'll see you in my next video. Bye.