Creating Empathy while Social Distancing

If it. If the cloud works. So my BFF, Andrea. I don't know where I was going. That was, like, a weird intro. Like, I didn't know how to. So I think we became spirit animals in the aspect that you named your company after a dog.

I like that. Spirit animals. Yeah.

So. So, like, I. And. And then I was gonna try to put a different acronym in there, but for. For when you guys are listening to this and you want to go down, scroll down on the page, it's Andrea Goulet. And you'll be able to find her little circle there, probably with an awesome picture. She put on mascara and mascara. All right, can we roll to, like, head shoulders so I can just make sure I know where we're putting all of this stuff. I'm not licensed to be in humanity today. You know, it's a hard day.

It's gloomy. It's like week 10, I think of. I think, for us.

What day is it?

I don't know. I think I'm doing good with month. We're in May, right? It's hard right now. Yeah.

Yeah. For real.

For real.

And to get the girls to do anything because they have a switch that's like, I'm going to school or I'm on break. And so, like, that's been the conversation. Okay. Let's just be honest. That's bunny switch, too. I'm going to work. Or I'm like, off. And so I'm with you. I have my NASA sweatshirt. And, you know, like, this is as professional as it gets these days.

Yeah. One of my really good friends has told me over the years that I'm a light switch, not a dimmer. And so I have a really hard time like. Like, when the kids are in school and we've had daycare and stuff, it's like, okay, I'm all in. And I was supposed to be traveling three out of four weeks in April, and just like. And then it was like, no, you're gonna stay home full time and take care of the kids and still balance everything. Like, the ability. Yeah. I think over the years, like, they've said, like, there's no work life balance. It's all about work life integration. And there have been absolute times in my life where I'm like, amen. Like, when I was coming back from maternity leave, I had a, like, light switch kind of moment where it's like, you're on or off, and that spun me like, crazy. And. But having a gradual. When I own my own business, and it's like, Some days I felt like. But I feel like now it's like I don't know what the end state.

Is, and that's what no one does.

And, like, as somebody who's really good at strategic thinking, I was explaining this to someone on my team. Like, my activity and the evidence of my thinking has dropped dramatically. But. But the effort is higher. And so it looks like I'm doing less work, but I feel like I'm doing more work. And then you throw in kids and homeschooling on top of it, and it's hard. Like, you can't see your friends.

Yeah, well, that part I'm okay with. You know, I'm okay with, like, somebody sent me, like, the gif of, like, Julie Andrews sp spinning, like, on the top of the. You know. Yeah. It was like bunny social distancing. It's like, finally everybody can go anywhere. Everybody has to leave me alone.

So there is. I mean, I am. I am absolutely reveling in the. Less pressure. Like, I'm. I'm finding. Am I actually an extrovert and get energy from other people, or do I have just a really hard time saying no and honoring my own internal boundaries?

Yeah, I can say I am an introvert in an extroverted, like, journey. Right. So I am fully aware that it depletes me to, like, interact. My preference would be to be alone time. That's what restores me. So when I look at, like, the definition of between introvert or extrovert, it's like, what's restorative to me is alone time, not time with people. Like, that's draining to me. So at the same time, I am good with rolling into a room or speaking and engaging with people. So you know that. But that's not the definition of extrovert. I think the definition.

Yeah, I mean, I interrupt you, but yeah.

Oh, go for it. No, I mean, I. It's like, how do you define what if you're an introvert or an extrovert? My understanding was, like, what you get energy from.

This is what I'm saying is like, there's pieces now that I'm. This is why it's, like, all weird. Because for me, there were many times during work where I would have quiet time and I might be interacting with people over slack or something, but I was solving a problem. I was like, in my head, and I loved it. And I'm someone when I speak the thing that I love. There was a poll on Twitter a couple years ago, and it was like, hey, people who get paid to speak. What is it that you love about it? And, you know, you don't see the poll results until the end. And it was the thinking time where you get to create the slides or the presenting. And I hate presenting. Like, that is not what gives me energy. Like, I have to psych myself up to get on stage because it is exhausting. I'm good at it. But the thing that I love about presenting is just tumbling ideas over my brain and putting together a slide deck. And I'm like, that's a very introverted activity. So it's like, am I an extrovert? Because I have socialized myself to believe that the skills that I'm good at are the things that need to be done in order to earn money and feel independent. Like, so it's because now I get zero alone time. Zero. And I'm, like, crawling out of my skin just because. And I love everyone. And there are many magical, magical moments. I don't want to sound like that it's not good or that I'm not ungrateful or that I'm not grateful, but, yeah, it's for me. I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain, which talks about the introvert extrovert thing. And I'm an ambivert. So if I'm around people too much, give me my space. If I'm by myself too much, then give me some people. I've got mine in the other room. So.

Okay. Like, I muted so that all the listeners didn't have to hear this screaming in my ear.

But, you know, yeah, I think that's the new normal. Now, like, people are asking me about, is this what it's like to work from home? Because I've been working remotely for almost 15 years. I have a class on, like, how to work remotely and all this stuff. No. You know, like, I had a meeting earlier today, and it was, like, a strategic meeting with my executive team. My daughter comes bouncing in. It's like. And, you know, you absolutely want to be present. But then I think, me, it's the context switching. Like, right now, it's like, okay, I need to pay attention here, and I need to pay attention here. And that, like, holding everything in one space is really hard, I think.

So. My oldest is really sensitive to the world around her, and so she's just not understanding, like, how do I explain to her what's going on when I don't understand what's going on? Right. And so, like, the question that I get every single morning is, has the flu gone away yet? Right. And so it's like that's not even the beginning of, you know, that I don't, I don't have that answer. I don't. There's. And it's like I'm supposed to be mom and you know, it's. I'm just supposed to have all these answers. And so we've just been working through it together and being able to have those conversations, but being able to involve them as much as I can. Yeah. Okay, go ahead, go for it. Go over there though.

It's coming.

There you go. Close the door, please. Thank you. Okay. It's okay. Blue can stay here. Do you like how she's still like giving the commands in the wine voice?

Oh, yeah, we do that a lot.

I have to tell you that, you know, like that's, that is my struggle. And I also, I was thinking to myself while you're explaining to what you love about speaking, it's like, I can't crush a speaking application because I can't put what's in my brain like on paper. Like, I basically just want to write, like just, just I cuss. I have a giant dog and I can engage well with people. So, you know, like, hire me. But that's been an interesting. And there's this big debate on whether or not we get the same amount of energy or whether we receive the same amount of energy virtually for our teams and for, you know, as humans. Like, can we live isolations? Like, is this. I just, I don't think that I can create as much empathy for you. However, I think that this has forced. This is, this is going to be my big word. But I think this has forced individuals to look at self awareness and to find empathy within, to care about themselves. Which is something that, you know, when I'm teaching work, life alignment is very difficult to have people do because we're so used to getting external. Our love tanks like that. That's the way my 8 year old explains it. Like our love tanks externally filled.

Yeah, that's.

And now it's not an option.

That's 100% where I am right now. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's like, is it more about validation or is it actually energy? I don't know. Yeah, it's really interesting with the, with the speaking like so, yeah, my kids. So my son on the other hand, he's seven, day two of quarantine. He found. I think I texted you a picture of this bunny, but he found a pic. He found his like electronics snap kit and he built himself an FM radio. From the instructions. And he has been listening to NPR nonstop. And so he's like scheduling his day around and so he, he is someone where it's like he wants to know. Like he is.

I Never had a 7 year old that I wanted to be when I grew up.

He's pretty awesome. Yeah. And then my daughter is just so expressive and creative, which is great because it's forcing me to do more of those activities that I love too, but have kind of pushed to the side. But yeah, that's, that's his thing. So it's like he knows the numbers. He knows. And it's like that's how he's dealing with it. And I keep asking him, I'm like, does this help you feel safe or scared? Like every day I'm just checking in because it's like I feel like there can be too much information. And pretty consistently it's like a little bit of both, but more safe.

Wow, that's awesome. Just to be able to say that though, that's awesome. I remember when you introduced me to snipperclips and you had to spell it and then you were like, hold on, let me just text it to you. That game kicked my ass.

Yeah.

Like, oh my God, I couldn't figure out how to get the frickin thing in the hoop. And like at one point I was just like, I quit. Like I'm done. This is a daddy daughter activity. Because like no child needs to see their mother like rage quit a video game designed creature children. I was just. Because. And then Steve gets on and he's like, oh, you just cut like this part out of the semicircle and then you can use it to like launch. And I was like, my brain doesn't work that way. My brain does not work that way. Like you. We're all zeros and ones. But my zeros and ones, like are freaking unicorns and Great Danes and, And your zeros and ones like happen to be there was. I'm going to tell you about the effing ostrich game. I'm going to limit my cussing. But the effing ostrich game. So talking about energy, like, I'm in here, I'm doing my thing with my clients and all of that. One of the most difficult things is I'm not at my office, which we have a detached home office, but I can't get cell reception in there. And we've been really struggling with Internet now that everybody's on the Internet because we have satellite. So I'm in our guest bedroom right now. Like, you can probably see from behind me and I'm sitting on the floor. To be clear. The service animal has the bed ish chair. Because that's the priorities on the list. So, you know, I end my day and like debrief internally, get in my mental space, open the door, and I'm hit with this giant, like, rage video game energy over this effing ostrich game. I have no idea what game it is. You can put in the comments below if you know what freaking game it is, because it's on the. The video game thing with the red and the blue side. The thing in the middle. Thank you. Oh, the same thing with the snipperclips. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so like the ostriches are up on the big screen. He's cussing at the ostriches. Like Victoria, our little one is like running behind him on the couch and he's yelling at her for running on the couch. And I'm like, you're directing your ostrich rage at our three year old and.

Like, oh, jumping on the couch. I now count as pe. Like, I just like, I'm like half at it. We've got this like really old couch that we got on like Craigslist or something. And I'm especially. It's like I made, um. This is going to sound. So I made a habit tracker for my kids. Not because I want to like, have them necessarily hold account, but like, I can't keep it all in my brain. And I asked them, I was like, when's the last time you took a bath? Because it was like, it's been more than a couple days. And like, I literally couldn't remember because Scott and I are like my partner in both business and life. Like, we're swapping off and we're trying and just like, there's so much commotion that I can't like keep anything regimented. So just at the end of the day it's like, did you eat vegetables? Did you drink water? Did you go outside? Did you create something? Did you learn something new? Huh?

You know how you sniff check? Like socks or like a shirt?

Yeah, I did sniff check and they were okay, but I was like, yeah, they. I mean, it's. It was probably like three or four days. It wasn't. But like, I literally couldn't remember because I think it was one of these, like, Scott had done it and I was just the fact that I couldn't remember things, which I have, you know, struggles with that. Anyway, but. And honestly, that's kind of been a good thing. I'm like, maybe I should do that for myself. Is just like. And I think it's one of these, like, low pressure. Like, I kept it really just. And I was, like, very clear. I was like, y', all, this is the bare minimum. Like, we're. We're measuring the bare minimum right now because we need to measure self care. And, like, I don't necessarily care if you achieved anything on this day, but I need to see. Have you not brushed your teeth for a month? Because that's the problem. And they, like, laughed. And I'm like. Because literally, like, that's kind of where things are right now. I can't, you know, so. Yeah, so, I mean, there's. It's, like, spotty. And it's not about, like, being a perfectionist, but I think it's more about spotting trends. Like, you know, for me, it's. I have gone a week without going outside just because it's easier to stay inside.

See, I, like, my horses are. And they're not even my horses. They're my. My buddy's horses are like, my sanctuary. Like, Steve literally gets back because he's still. You know, he's in the military, so he's still going to work. So he gets back, he pulls into the driveway, and, like, I wave as I'm pulling out of the driveway. Like, that is the transition and how quickly it happens where I'm just like, do you. Do you remember the cartoon when we were little, and it was the watchdogs that passed each other and, like, punched in and the other one, like, punched out, and they had the little metal, like, silver.

I can see it, but I don't remember what the.

It's irrelevant. It was a stupid analogy to make anyway. But, like, that's just, like. That's just the way it was. Is I was like, Cause we don't. There's no us right now. Like, there's his military stuff and me holding down the fort. And then when he's here, like, in order from this reality of me holding down the fort to be possible, like, I gotta go do me. And doing me means going to the ranch and being with the horses, because there I don't have to, you know, worry about getting COVID 19 from a horse. But, you know, the. The other thing that you gave to me that you blessed me with is a flowchart.

Like, okay, guys, we're in quarantine. Here's a flowchart.

I'm like, let's Start with what is a flowchart? And I'm gonna direct you on, like, how. And then Rocky is explaining to the three year old, and then like four days later, Rocky goes to turn the TV on and the three year old walks over and is like pointing to the room. The fact the room is not clean and it's a no. And I was just. I was like, I need to video this and send it to Andrea, because this is pure magic.

It is. Well, I think it's one of these things. Like, it's. I pull a lot of management and leadership skills from parenting and vice versa. And so I was like, if I needed to lead a team right now and be like. Because I think at that point was like, school was canceled for two weeks. And so day one, I'm like, here are the ground rules. Everything was written down, like, wash your hands 10 times a day. Like, just like, this is the clear vision. And so when things get really muddy and I mean, like, we're not using the flowchart now. Cause, like, things have changed so much, but we used it for a good long time. Yeah. And so now we're doing like the habit tracker just as a. Because I think the thing that happened with me with the flowcharts was it was like, it wasn't quite working. And then, you know, I have one of these. Like, when you say clean, does that mean every speck of dust needs to be gone? Right. Like. Like a very literal and very detail oriented person where it's like, you could infinitely clean something. So it's clean compared to what it could be.

Right. So yeah, well, I see that though. Like, I empathize with that in the aspect that all of the. Did you get the packets home from, like, school? Like, here's all the work that you need to do.

I get them digitally, but my oldest is seven. He's in first grade. And it was. Yeah, here's.

Here's worksheets way out in the middle of nowhere. And so we. They mailed them to us the first time. When it was like two weeks, we went and picked them up and then like, they mailed it to us. And so I think it was like day three of doing this where my oldest and I got into this. Like, you need to sit down and do this. And she's like, why? And like, I'm like, because we've got to turn it in and this is material we've got to learn. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So like the second packet round comes out and it's got an email attached to it before. They're like, we're mailing these packets out. We're not collecting them for sanitary reasons. And so, like, we sit down.

Yeah.

And, like, you know. You know, my oldest, and she's just like, mom, like, why do we have to do this? Like, when. What. How is this. I don't. This is not the best way. You don't know how to teach this stuff to me. Yeah, I was trying to get her teacher on zoom, because I'm like, you're still getting a paycheck, so can you zoom teach to my kid? Like, and then when that email came out that, like, they. They weren't gonna collect them. There was just this moment where she was just like, why are we doing this? And I was like, that's a valid question. Yeah, that's a valid question. We're just doing it to do it, and that's just a waste of energy. And so, yeah, now we're doing other productions.

We had worksheets that basically had to demonstrate, you know, competency in some of the sols. But it was kind of like a worksheet or two per each one. I tell. You know what got me was there was one where it was, like, a math game, and they had these little pies, and it was like, you know, split into 10 wedges. And it was, use a pencil and a paperclip to spin. And I'm like, how do we create a spinner out of a pencil and a paperclip? And, like, that was the thing that got me was, like, the setup. And it's one of these things. Like, my son was just like, here, Mom. Like, because I guess they had done it where you put the pencil, like, up, and then you spin it around the point. And I was like, oh, my God, that makes so much sense. I got no clarity. And it was like, I spent probably five minutes, like, trying to figure out. And. Yeah, so. So for us, we did the same thing. It was, you need to turn in these worksheets because of, you know, otherwise you're going to repeat the first grade. Is that something you want to do? No. Okay, then we need. These are the things we need to get in. These are extra to make sure that you're engaged. And if you don't want to do this, what would you do instead?

So. And how do you want to learn this? Like, how would you like to learn this skill? Because it's not on, if it's not through, like, a worksheet. Like, if you're learning synonyms and you don't really care for the worksheet. Then tell me what a synonym is and then let's go take a walk and tell me what the synonym is for the other things on our walk.

Yeah, we've been doing that. And so, like, like, I had to greatly relax. Screen time. That was the biggest reason we let go of the flowchart. And yeah, the. It's crazy because I get these emails. There's like a prodigy math, like, online thing. And I get these emails of like, you know, your son is, you know, adding and subtracting fractions. And like, here's all this. And I'm just like, what? And. But it's like a game. And I'm like, okay, well, he's learning. I don't have to stress out about it. And I think the other thing that I did early on was I said, I told my oldest that his job was to teach his sister how to read. She's going to be five next week. And it was like, that's your job. Teach her how to read. You know how to read. She doesn't have at it.

How's he doing? How's he doing Reading and writing.

So. And it keeps them engaged. And so it's like, how can I, like, think that's the thing is, like, it's similar to growing the transition from being a founder to being a CEO. Like, the founder is like, I have to do everything myself, you know, and the CEO is. I just have to make sure that that thing is done. And like, that's kind of where I am is what can I. And it has to change regularly. I think that's. That's the other thing. But yeah, I mean, so the other day, like, we have this game, and it's called a Turing Tumble.

And don't get me started on any more games like you. We've broken that trust. That trust bridge is gone.

Well, my kids really like it. So it's this. It's like a physical game. And it starts with red marbles and blue marbles at the top, and then you have a series of switches that are different shapes. And so then you have to create, like, engine. And then there are these little puzzles. And so then you have to get a pattern at the bottom. So it's very. It's an engineering kind of kind of game. And my son loves it. And so was. Was playing with it, and he's like, well. And so then what I started using is the term reset. We have to reset rooms. So I, like, walked around, I was like, this is the set state. Like, this is the normal equilibrium. Look around. I like that. When. And so then it's like we have to reset. Just like we put away the pieces of a board game, we have to reset the room. We don't have to deep clean it every day. But like, semantics matter. Syntactic alignment is huge. But yeah, so he was like, oh, I'm gonna put away the Turing tumble. I was like, no, it's the Turing tumble. It's named after Alan Turing. And he was like, who's Alan Turing? And so then we sat there and had a 45 minute discussion about World War II and, like, the origins of computing and LGBTQ rights. Like, just like it turned into this whole thing.

And I'm like, that is so awesome. Yeah.

And so then at the end of the day, did you learn something new? And he's like, yes, I learned all about. Like his. His dad did. He's like, yes, I learned all about Alan Turing and blah, blah, blah, and World War II. It's like, oh, okay, how did you learn that? Talking to Mommy. Like, and so I think some of it is that it can be much free. But I think I'm a good person in the short term. I have known forever. Like, I can't do homeschool for the long game. I can make it work now, but, like, I can't plan out curriculums. I can be an okay stopgap, but.

You can raise, like, a contributing human to society. Well, we've already identified out of my children, one's a superhero, one's a super villain. It's just which one's gonna be which. It's why we can't have a third. Because there just can't be that variable. We have to keep it as an even. For the world's sake. We have to keep it there. And, you know, it's. I've kind of got a motto at the end of the day. Like, if I'm. If there's whining, if there's complaining, if there's that I want to do this and all of that, or I look at him and I'm like, but did you die? Yeah, like, that's my. That's my job. My job is to keep you alive long enough to make a contribution to society. Yeah. So, like, that. That is a job description that I'm pretty sure I signed it somewhere when I was leaving the hospital at some point. I know I filled out more paperwork to adopt my dog than I did to bring my daughter home from the hospital, but no, it's just. It's one of those whole perspectives of what really matters. And that's pretty much what the entire world is asking right now is, like, what really matters?

Yeah.

You have any drops of wisdom to leave us with before we have our fake goodbye and stop the recording and then start cussing more?

I don't feel like a very wise person. I just feel like someone who's willing to share what I'm going through. And sometimes it works for me, and then I share, and sometimes it's like, nope, snipperclips totally didn't work. So I don't know.

I'm totally glad. I'm gonna finish that with, I'm totally glad you shared it with me, because it's a game that my daughter and my father. My daughter and my husband, her father, can, you know, participate in together. But it was just like, you and I have known our brains. We are spirit animals. And then our. But our brains are like. You know, you've explained to me so many times what that tattoo on your wrist means, and I'm still just like, yeah, but I still just look at you like. Like, what's his name? From finding Dory looks at Dory Like, I am Dory.

I am 100% Dory. Like, we. Like, I have ADHD and really poor working memory. Like, we joke around Like, I am totally Dory.

And one of the things I have no idea. I still can't tell anybody what the tattoo means. I'm just. Most people can, and they're like, what does it mean? I'm like, she's explained it to me so many times, and we're at this weird point in our friendship where I can't ask her again to explain.

I know. Okay, Bunny, here's the thing. I don't even remember you explaining. I don't even remember you asking me. So, like, you can ask me however many times, and I'm gonna forget. So you're good, but for other people. And here, it'll be recorded. So I got this because I had been coding and learning code, run a software company, and would go to all these conferences, and people would think I was a marketing person, which that's my background, but they would just assume that I didn't know how to code because of how I look. And we had gotten a client. Like, we were pitching at a client, and I was describing everything, and, like, this person looked at me like I had a. Like, something growing out of my head, like, and was just like, I'm sorry. I just. I have to stop you because you're using these technical terms, like, do you, do you know how to code? I was like effing a. Like, yes. Like. And so I.

Well, isn't it be open minded?

It's be undefined.

So this. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. So what this is, is a parameter, right? So when you code, you would normally put something inside here, right?

Yeah.

And then because there's nothing in this, in a particular coding language called JavaScript, you, when you run this or call it, it comes back as undefined. So, so like you would basically execute this and say, hey, run this little piece of code. And it would say undefined. So for me, like, I was like, you don't get to say what I am and what I'm not. Because, and I mean, honestly, I got this one first, the semicolon, because of the Semicolon project for depression and suicide awareness. And then just, yeah, it became like, let me do this. It felt right, but I got it more for me. And like most people bunny do not remember. So don't be hard on yourself.

I'll get it. Be a unicorn. Be open minded. I mean like, yeah, I get, I get close. I get like close. And I remember that it's like open parentheses and then your formula and close parentheses. I do remember this from like Excel. So that's why I was like, well, maybe open parentheses to like minded.

Yeah. So it's like, so in Excel, if you were to create a formula and it wasn't syntactically right, you would get an error. So basically the error that you get back when you run this is undefined.

And you're.

And so it's like, it's not an error. Yeah. So me being undefined is not an error. Like I, it's, it's by design. And I think that's the hard thing right now is that it's like there's so much, there's so much transition, which normally I'm really good at. But I think the thing is, is that it's forcing me to really focus on identity because my business has kind of like outgrown my skills and now it's more in like maintenance mode. It doesn't need like really high growth, like innovator energy. And so it's like it still needs me, but like, go find something else to fill that creative bucket. And I'm like, I don't know what that is. I've been doing this for forever. What should I do? Should I go like consult and just be like an advisor and like. So yeah, should I stay home? Should I take A watercolor, like, which is. That's. That's what's been feeding my soul is just like watching watercolor artists on YouTube. It's amazing and so calming.

That is. I have a painting right above me that was painted by a dolphin. You want to see it? Yes. I think this. I may have just lied to you. I'm. I'm pretty sure it was a dolphin. It might have been a dolphin or it's some other. Let me remember to take my earbuds out, because I don't know if you've ever done that. Just done it.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a dolphin. It's a dolphin. Okay. So just show this to you. I think I'm gonna give my sister in love credit for this because I'm pretty sure this is what she gave to me for like my first Christmas because she knows that I love dolphins.

That's so cute. So. So did it, like paint it with its nose or a paintbrush or.

No, it takes the paintbrush.

That's so cute.

It takes the paintbrush and like, puts it in its mouth and like paints. I'm pretty sure, like somebody else painted the canvas. Right. But it does this and then. Or the dolphin, Sunny is the name of the dolphin does this and then they use it for dolphin conservation, like fundraising. So. But why I said, like, I'm pretty sure I might be lying to you is because I can't remember. We went down to Florida and I know I got like, I invested in three more of these paintings. And I don't know if this is the one that my sister in love sent me or if I might be misremembering it. And she sent me one that was painted by an elephant. So if you want to YouTube it, there's ones for elephants. Do the painting.

Are you saying sister in love or sister in law?

Yeah.

So sorry. I'm like, elephants. Elephants adore.

It's love. It's love and it's mindset. Mindset. So not a lot of people, A lot of people are blessed with, like, just not the best experience in blending families. And I was really down for like having a sister and because I'm an only child, so, like, I had this like awesome expectations of having this sister. And like, my sister in love is just not my spirit animal. And so we both recognize that. I mean, she loves me.

If I.

If I was in jail, she would probably come get me. That's like probably a 60, 40 there probability wouldn't call her. And then my husband's parents are just amazing, incredible People, but they are very extroverted and, you know, have that energy and you know me. So it's a what? Okay, well, why don't you sit. Go sit down and I'll be right there to save the world. Okay. I'll come get you a snack. Give me. Give me two minutes and I'll give you a snack. Okay.

Yeah, my thing is, like, ask your brother.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right. I'll go get it for you. Okay. I think she's just. Is it like, nap time again? Just, like. Does that come back around?

Yeah, I. Yeah, I guess I want a nap, but.

I know, but, like, what have we done to actually deserve a nap?

Do you feel like that's a reward? I don't know, like, take a nap.

So here's the deal is, like, every time I go on a cruise, my husband and I have this epic battle. Because it's like all you do on a cruise ship is eat, but there's really nothing that you do, like, physically that warrants you restoring those nutrients in your body.

I've never been on a cruise, but.

Yeah, you know, it's like, I've sat here and talked to you and, like, I. I just finished stuffing my face and so, like, it's gonna be 6 o' clock and I'm gonna put more food in my body. But what have I actually done that means I need more, like, food?

Thinking takes a lot of energy.

Yeah.

Well, being compassionate and, like. Yeah. I mean, energy management is totally a thing. That is, like, huge with parenting.

Well, and you pulled a lot of that out of me. And me, like, fearing that my in loves would ever watch this. And I had to navig really, really, really, really, really close line because I was like, I love them. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do. I really do. I just love that they live in Arizona.

Yeah.

And now I'm screwed if they watch it. So. They're amazing people.

Yeah.

It's just my brain is always processing, like, 15 steps ahead. And so, like, my mother in love calls me the trip planner. Or I already have it in my head, the itinerary. And I'm like, CEO and they're along for the ride. They're the road trip camping type of family. And I'm like, I want to know what Marriott I'm staying at. I want to know, like, what restaurants. Like, I am the planner. And so it's just been an interesting blending of families. But I get that in my own marriage, where my husband is like, he's the light switch. He'll be cussing at the ostrich game. The game's off, and he has no residual emotional energy. And I'm laying there in a puddle of just like. I feel like I just fought a war and I wasn't even a part of it. I wasn't an ostrich, and I wasn't playing the game. And, like, I just need to get better at that, like, white shield of protection in the difference between which is what I'm trying to teach my daughter is like, what's your energy? Yeah. And like, for your kiddo, for your son that's listening to npr, like, understanding, like, what is the energy coming out of the radio versus what are my feelings?

Yeah.

So.

Well, I think, too, it's like, we're all responsible for helping each other with energy management, so.

Well, on that, we can always end on our et.

Yes. Our little high five.

Yes. Here we go. So. And I know this wasn't 10 minutes, so I feel like I lied to you, but I feel like it was totally worth it.

Oh, it's fine. It's all good. I totally needed this. Yeah. All right.

So this is. This is our fake goodbye to everybody. Well, this is our goodbye to everybody who doesn't get to hear the conversation after this, so sorry.