Release in Order To Heal During this time

All right, Adele, so you witness a little bit of this. I am watching. I'm puppy sitting. And then I have this three year old human daughter, an eight year old human daughter. And then I have my service dog and we have a one year old Great Dane puppy that is ours. And just in the matter of like four minutes, like, the energy completely changed and the dogs started like, you know, one dog didn't want to play with the other dog. And then my 3 year old hurt my 8 year old's feelings and just like. Like that. And then now we're in this world where, well, you and I have worked from home for a bit, but we're in this world where, you know, like, I turn on the computer and all of the sudden, here we are and I'm sweating a bit. You look gorgeous. You look beautiful.

Thank you. You do too, Ashley. Thank you.

But I've got, you know, like my tank top on. I managed to rip my jeans, which I can't show you on Zoom, but I managed to rip my jeans in this, like, four minute period. And there's been times where I'm doing something and the door opens and all of the dogs stampede and a little three year old says, I'm hungry. So welcoming, all of that right now.

Exactly. Living in the moment.

Yes. And I'm also so grateful that it was you on the other side of the phone or of the tv and that I get to. Not a tv. What are we calling this today? This laptop green. Yes. So tell me.

What.

All right, I'm gonna ask you what's your favorite book on that shelf behind you? I'm gonna ask you a hard question.

Oh, my favorite book. Great question. Wow. Okay. I don't see it there, but my favorite book right now is the Master and His emissary by Ian McGilchrist.

Okay.

It is. He's a neuroscience psychologist. Psychiatrist. And he looks at the difference between the right brain and the left brain. And it is so exciting, Bunny. I mean, you know when you read one of those books and you go, oh, my gosh, he's got it right?

Yes.

Have you ever had one of those experiences? That's what I got when I read this.

Okay. It's so amazing. You have to send me that link because, you know, my, like, mentor and, you know, he's a part of the family. He is a neurosurgeon who works. His passion is horses. And so that's why we did that was because a horse is a prey animal and human is a predator animal. And so the fascination in Working with leaders leading and a herd form as a default. So you, the rest of our listeners, are like, oh, my gosh, this is worth talking about.

Brain. We're just freaking out here, right?

I gotta tell you, like, I need my hands on this book today. I need to read it. So. And we'll definitely put the link in the. In the comments for the video. So. But yeah, I. So for the listeners that didn't get a chance to see our national. Actually our international campaign, Adele was standing. You were standing with, like, all of these wind chimes around you. And I don't know if it was intentional, but it just took me to, like, such this amazing place that is my backyard.

I love wind chimes. I just. Yeah, it's. It's my sanctuary away from home, if you know what I mean. At home. Away from home. I just step out there and the world just goes quiet.

And yet it doesn't at the same time, you know, because.

Those windshield.

So I saw my first bear. You know, we were talking about, like, the Venice canals and kind of what's happened during, like, this. I wrote a blog called the Great Paws. Well, since being home, I've seen my first bear, and apparently I have hundreds of pet birds that I was completely unaware of. And I've lived in this home for seven years. And so it's just this question of, like, what else am I missing, you know? And then also, like. Like, how I. We. I opened this with you is like, how to not get caught rushing again.

Yes. Yeah.

You know, and so because you. You gave. I'll tell everybody, you gave me the opportunity to reschedule this. We got the time a little off, and then I got a little wrapped up in that. That swirling dervish. And so it was like, do we reschedule or do we just embrace it and go with it? And so, you know, that's. That's where I'm here with you, embracing it and going with it with my Hundreds of birds. And I don't know where my bear went. He's probably not one that I want to hang around for very long.

I can't blame you there. But it's true. I've seen deer. I've seen muskrat. I've seen so many animals just come out, right? They're just coming out, and they're just taking to the street, and it's so beautiful to watch, you know, I mean, we are entering the unknown. You know how I speak bunny, right? We don't know what's coming at us now. And the world's speeding up. It's coming faster and faster. And so it's inviting us to be in the present moment. It's inviting us to be here now and to embrace who we are right now, today. Let's not worry about tomorrow. Let's. Let's let go of the past. It's done. And let's come into this present moment right here and connect with who we are and connect with that right hemisphere of our brain and just enjoy whatever shows up. Because at this point, it's showing up faster and faster and faster. Like your dogs and your daughter walking through the door saying, I'm hungry. Unpredictable. Right?

And then right on cue.

On cue.

Right on cue. Yeah, it's. It's that creating space, and you make it sound so simple, and it is. It is simple. Like, that's. That's kind of. You're 100% correct. There. There's a complete difference. But. But it sounds so simple to just create space. And yet, you know, as a. As a therapist or coming from the therapy world, stress doesn't exist anywhere except for the past or the future. And in the present moment, like, if you take that further, then, I mean, I would. For me, in my brain, and I don't pretend to know everything, but I would imagine that my bias is. My biases, my prejudice, my preferences. Like, how many things. Like my daughter to be able to say, like, I don't like that. I don't like eating that. When's the last time you've eaten it? You know, like, is this just something that you've made a decision today, or are you deciding this for the rest of your life? And so just creating kind of space for those conversations to be able to say, you know, is this now or is this. Am I making this choice for my future self? Like, I just blew my own mind, and I wasn't even trying to. But it was just that. That's what was coming up for me when you were saying, you know, like, being present, it's so simple, yet it's probably one of the most difficult things to do.

Yeah. Yeah. So I like to say the easiest way to be present is to become aware of what's going on and let it go, rather than striving to be present. That's where people get it wrong. They think the present is a place, right? A place that they have to get to before they can enter the now. It already exists. It's just here, now. And your job is just to become aware of what is instead of judging it. Like you're Talking about, right. Your daughter saying, well, I don't like that. Well, she doesn't actually know that. Right. She just has a concept that she thinks she knows. So if she was older, I would invite her to let go of that concept and then see what shows up. Right. So it's always this removal, a method of subtraction instead of a method of addition. That's probably the easiest way to get to the now. Let's subtract what we know and get to the unknown. Yeah.

And making space. You know, I've done. Over the past couple of years, I've done daily meditation practice. And my husband came home and I said, I'm gonna go meditate. And he said, didn't you meditate this morning? And I said, this is going to be my fourth meditation of the day. Because, you know, it. It's that. It's that releasing, you know, so it's that releasing. When I'm feeling so in my mind, if this is helpful for the listeners, this is the image that I have so in my mind, you know, the time is flowing like a river, and I'm this rock that lives in this river. And so as time from, like, the future is approaching me, I don't really know what it looks like because I'm just living in this river with the water that's around me right now. But then the water goes around and it's now in the past. And so for me, with meditation, it's just about continuing to go back to, oh, that's. That's just the river going past me, which are my thoughts, you know, that's just this experience that's going past me. However, you know, just as with the river and a rock, it's shaping me. And that's kind of this magical opportunity. So that's. That's the visual that I have. And sometimes when I'm struggling to get into that moment because I hear the dogs or I hear the kids or I hear myself. Right. I mean, that's the pure irony in being a therapist and having voices in our head. We all have voices in our head, you know? And so I imagine sinking, like, deeper and deeper. One of my birds is out there right now, sinking deeper and deeper into, like, if I'm. As if I'm sinking to the bottom of the clearest pond. And, you know, it's like, will I ever actually get to the bottom? I don't know. You know, you just witnessed me go from the present of what I was thinking, which was formulating something in the future, to then tell you to the actual present of, look, Adele, there's a bird. So it's just kind of that constant. Yeah. And then my last funny thing on that that I'll share with you because I know I've got to let you go, is that somebody sent me. Have you heard of the. The. The saying, like, that's not my monkey or not my circus, you know, like, in relationship of not dealing with kind of the craziness. So however many great Danes that I have in my house and the girls and my husband's, you know, on military duty right now. And so I was on the phone with one of my male friends, and he sends me this message, and it has Lucille Ball, you know, trying to eat all of the chocolates. And it's like that moment. Like that moment when you realize that this is your circus. Thank you so much. So this is my circus. So I'm going to create space for you to leave, not leave our listeners, because I know that Adele and I have had relationship for several years, so I know we'll be back together to have more difference makers conversations. But I want to create a little bit of space for you to share whatever you would like to in this moment.

Oh, lovely. Here's what I'd like to share. When things need disrupting, when things are unpredictable, like we're in right now, the safest course of action is to take risks. Okay? Whereas in a stable society, when everything is knowable and known, then the safest thing to do, to do what you did yesterday, today, let's disrupt it all. It needs disrupting. Would you agree? Right. So being able to take risks, being able to say, okay, let me just go out there and just do something and see what happens. That is the safest thing to do when the future is unpredictable. All right? So try and make that happen.

I'm gonna need everybody to pause this, rewind it, and then write down that exactly what Adele just said, just as almost as an affirmation, because I think that that is so good. That's medicine right now.

That's medicine because everybody's afraid of all this disruption. And I think it's the perfect place we need to be. Let's break it. Let's break the mold, and so we can really reinvent it. Cool.

So now I'll show you my disrupted jeans. That happened. So there we go. And all I was doing was creating space. I didn't even know it. Here I was thinking I just ruined my genes. All I was doing was disrupting to create some space, to create some space. It's 90 something degrees here, so I have a little bit more air conditioning. My life is actually improved. Yay.

I love it.

I adore you. Thank you so much for.

Thank you, Benny.

Being a part of the international spread of these difference makers discussions, I hope that they have helped your community as much as they've helped mine. And so you will have your little circle of beautiful Adele photo below this for all of those listeners. And I imagine it'll go back to your website.

Sure. Absolutely. Yeah. I'm going to send it over to my marketing team and they will do their magic.

Thank you so much. I appreciate you. Yes. Have an amazing day.

Thank you. You too. Bye. Bye.

Bye now.