What Simon Sinek did not tell you about How Technology affects our lives

Hey, difference makers. So we are going to be talking about all things technology and how your relationships with your digital devices is actually impacting not only your family relationships, but also what you're getting done at work. And if you're a Simon Sinek fan, you're gonna want to stick around because you might just be shocked at who shows up on today's episode. So if you haven't already, it's your first video with me, I'm Bunny Young. You're gonna want to subscribe and make sure that you stick around for the ride. All right, so now that hopefully you have clicked that subscribe button, I'm so glad to have you here and in the world that we're living in right now. We have a lot of time with our devices and our technology and it. If you know of who this guy is. Oh, hey, Simon, how are you? It was so nice of him to just pop in and join us for our Power of Human Potential episode today. So, Simon, I have listened to a couple of your thoughts on technology and how it affects adolescents and you equate it to addiction and the release of dopamine. And being a retired therapist myself, I know that to be true. So I, I really appreciate all of the thoughts that you have been sharing out there with the world, of course, all of your books and thanks for stopping by today. It was great to have you on. So I'll take it from here, though. Okay, great, thanks. So we're going to do a follow up from last video that I released on Digital well Being and Attack of the Screen Time and today, dive into the actual relationships. And basically I want you to imagine that you're out on a date and you've probably seen this where you're texting or the person you're with is texting, you're sitting across from each other and you're not actually on a date. You're on social media. And so you are not getting that human connection. You're not getting that release of chemicals from that relationship and actually feeling the human connection. And so if you've ever found yourself in a situation where you're sitting at home or you reach for your phone and you just start texting randomly and you're like, hey, just checking in or oh, hey, whatcha up to? Or I really like this one. I love when I get just the wave and it's like, okay, so I can tell that somebody cares about me or they're just really bored. And especially when I get the 15 texts in a row, then I know they're probably just bored. And especially when we get into that whole GIF war where I've had 15 minute conversations back and forth where there's just GIFs traveling back and forth across the cell phone ethos. So what I want to talk to you and get through is that it can be an addiction. It absolutely can be an addiction. Every time your phone pings. I had this conversation, my husband said, I think that there's something wrong with my leg because every time I can feel my leg buzzing and my phone's not actually ringing. And there are studies now that show that two really scary things. One is it's actually a syndrome called phantom buzzing. And it's similar to individuals who have lost limbs and can still feel the pain or sensations in the limbs. It's our brain remembering something that's happened so frequently that we end up having these symptoms that our brain is manufacturing. The feeling is real, but there's no new message on our phone. And so it's this constant cycle of getting excited and then being disappointed. And so the other really scary study is about the equation of more time on social media leading to higher levels of depression. And this is irregardless of age range. They initially started the study with just adolescence, but they've actually found it to be true across a lot of age ranges. And so being able to know and be focused when you're getting on social media, what the purpose is of being on social media and having that intention and not just scrolling through for 45 minutes looking for some kind of connection. And the other thing, social media knows this about us. And so it's going to show you the last time I was active on Instagram or the last time I was active on some random social media platform. And then when you post something and I don't like it, it's like, well, why didn't Bunny like it? It's not because I don't like you. It's maybe I didn't see it. There's all of these algorithms and they're ever changing. And so being able to have your self worth, independent, your social media following. And also I have so many business owners, entrepreneurs, professionals that are stuck on how many followers or connections or likes or comments that they have. But at the end of the day, what's the highest return on investment? I guarantee that even if you have a very successful online business and you have a relationship with individuals through your social media platforms and an online business, that the highest value that you have and the highest relationships that you have don't just happen on social media. Maybe you have an online video conference chat, maybe you have a telephone call. I can tell you that the most important relationships are with the individual that I wake up next to every single morning and the two individuals that I put to bed every single night. And so if the first thing that I'm doing in the morning is reaching for my phone, I am telling my brain and I'm also telling the rest of my family that my priority is my phone rather than a relationship with them. And that is not something that I want to be modeling because it's only going to get worse. When I was growing up, you know, we're going to go and share one of those stories about, like the walking six miles in the snow both ways to school. No, that's not what I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you that we didn't really have. We had MySpace. That was kind of a thing. Facebook was a thing in college. Texting, you had to press the button so many times to get the amount of letters that you needed. And so it just. That wasn't our primary mode of communication. And that's completely changed for the next generation. And the danger in that is that by not having the focus on being able to build meaningful relationships, this can impact everything from your ability to have a positive job interview, your ability to maintain a place of employment or a position of employment, your ability to effectively communicate your feelings without predetermined blue thumbs up and hearts and question marks and tears. To be able to tell somebody, I really loved what you said. I really liked that book that you shared. I'm really sad that your father passed away. It's great that there's 852 CRY faces on the aspect that my dog passed away. But the people that actually picked up the phone and said, I remember your previous service dog. And that service animal really impacted my life in this way. And I have this fond memory that is a relationship that's a true and authentic relationship. And that is what is making the most difference in business and in life and insanity these days, is the ability to, even online, create authentic connections. And so figuring out how you're going to spend your time on your digital devices in order to bring your most authentic self and connect with those that you most want to spend your time with. I guarantee it's not the 10.2 million followers that you have on whatever account they may or may not care about you tomorrow, but being able to build those authentic relationships. Those are the clients that are going to Spend the most value with you, be most valuable to your company, to your sanity, to your profession, to your life. And also they'll understand the value of you having a life outside of social media. More and more you're seeing where professionals are showing their backgrounds in video conference calls. That's because studies have been done that are showing that the zoom backgrounds or the virtual backgrounds that we thought were so cool actually tank the other person's trust for whomever they're talking about. Because there's a level of vulnerability to show you my starfish and my handmade piece of art that I created on a hundred year old barnwood. It's my willingness to step out there and say this is me and my authenticity. The fact that I still haven't figured out how to wear my glasses without getting this glare. But for the most part I don't really care if you guys see the glare. I hope that you hear the message and the value other than being focused on and distracted by this glare that's there. I do want to connect with you on social media platforms. Don't hear that I don't want that connection or that I don't want you to have that connection because I know family members all over the world. It's a great way to be able to share moments. But I don't want you to completely depend on those relationships for your confidence and your self worth and for that release of dopamine, because that's where it can be addictive. So I want to know in the comments, what's the first thing that you do in the morning? I'm just going to leave it at that. I'm just going to say what's the first thing that you do in the morning? And then I also want to say when you're doing social media and your email is also equally, if not more addictive, it's like your email to do list, get in, get out, have an intention and don't just spend 45 minutes scrolling and trying to find a reason to be there. We wouldn't do that in any other circumstance. We're not going to show up to Disneyland and just walk around and do no rides and have no fun and just be like, oh well, you know, that was great. What's your reason? And that's what value can you add by being there? I record these videos because of the value. I hope that it adds to your life and I hope that you will join me for more videos and put in the comments like this video and leave me a comment about what you liked about this video and what else would be beneficial for you to help you make the world a better place? Stay safe, stay sane and hopefully I see you just a little bit on your digital devices, but hopefully one of those digital or technology interactions is you subscribing to this channel. And one more thing and I put the glasses on just so I could make sure I remember to tell you this is that in the description for this video below you're going to find a link that has a free resource to add a little bit more sanity to your life. If you are struggling with that work life alignment and how much time to be on your phone or how much time to dedicate to work or how much time is too much for all of these things. Don't worry, I have you covered in that tool. So don't just go scroll right down. It's the first link that is under this description and I will look forward to seeing you next time. Please subscribe like hit the bell so you're notified for new videos that come out on the Power of Human Potential and Power of Purpose channel from me, Bunny Young, Business Therapist. Stay safe and still stay sane out.