Who are you during this crisis? with Erin Leigh, Chris Harris, and Bunny Young

Actually, it said preparing, then recording. So now we're recording. So another episode of Difference Maker or Difference Makers discussions. Just.

I don't.

I don't really know. A session of Difference Makers discussions. Familiar faces with Ms. Erin and Mr. Chris. If. If you're looking at Zoom the way I am, Erin and I, from our Difference Makers discussion, had this Brady Bunch moment where we were looking at each other from the perspective of the way that it recorded. So right now, Chris, just so you know, and because I can't resist, I'm on top. So there you go. And.

You'Re down there, and Aaron, you're over there.

Okay, so I think we're all at our homes, right? I mean, everybody knows the T. Rex in Guinness. So we're all at our respective homes. And Chris, Mr. Shrek is in his.

Swamp.

Kind of looks like it. The reason I brought that up is because, you know, we don't really pick topics for these, but something that I text you guys really late last night that I was aware of, and I wanted to discuss with you this idea of self within, like, this space. So, Chris, you and I have been talking about, like, being parents and trying to support this little human during this time. And Erin, you and I have been talking, had discussions about being an introvert and, like, what it feels like as that. And I had this moment last night where I was like, where's myself? Like, where. It's not that I'm not sure that I'm me, but I was finding it hard to stop figuring out what I was listening to from the media on what I showed or shouldn't be doing, or when I was listening to, like, business people saying, like, what you should or shouldn't be doing. Or even the conversations Chris, you and I are having is, like, with other parents, not necessarily you, but other parents are like, oh, my gosh, we went outside and we drew, like, the whole entire solar system out of chalk in our cul de sac. And I was like, holy bejeebus. I barely kept the things alive today. Like, so I just. That's something that.

I'm pretty sure you succeeded.

I. What?

Erin, I'm pretty sure you succeeded.

Yeah, I did. I did succeed.

That's the goal.

They're alive. They're alive. But I just wanted to throw that out there. And I'm not going to use the word struggle because I don't want the listeners to perceive that I'm struggling in finding myself. But it's just this curious observation of who are we during this time.

Yeah, well, I. Of the Three of us. I'm the only one without children, so I can offer a non parent proof perspective on this.

Tell me about it.

What is it like to not have children and not have to deal with.

Them every minute of the day?

It's pretty nice, actually. I feel like this time has been an opportunity for me to really look within myself and be honest with myself about some of the things that I committed to that aren't necessarily in alignment with who I actually feel like I am. And I feel like the circumstances that we've been in have given me an opportunity to pull back from a lot of the stuff that I felt like. Not necessarily that I was doing a whole bunch of things I didn't feel like I should or didn't want to be doing, but it has given me a chance to really look within myself and identify which of the things that I was doing are most in alignment. So whereas I hear you very clearly and I feel like if I had children, Bunny, I might be in the same boat. The fact that I have been just here with my spouse and it's just been us has given me a lot of extra time to think about who I am and what ways I'm bringing myself into the world and how powerfully I want to do that and where my energy is best used, not just where it's being asked for. So I think I'm in the opposite boat from where you are.

Yeah. And I guess to jump off of that conversation and Bonnie, to answer your question is what are we doing? Are we surviving? What's going on? I think what's this idea of self to kind of bridge a conversation Aaron and I had years ago, which was what differentiates entrepreneurs from everyone else? And my answer was how you view opportunity. And to put it in the context of your question, Bunny, is what is the opportunity as far as exploring oneself during this craziness that's going on? I think going way back, way, way back, 1996, when I first got out of corporate training, team building, that sort of thing. Whenever you're put into a stressful situation, whatever's buried deep in is going to come forward the best of you and worst of you is going to come flying out. And I would say we're in a pressurized, stressful situation. That doesn't mean it's stressing you out or that you're a bad person or a good person. It's just kind of trying times that we're in. So what is the opportunity for me to answer your question as far as exploring myself As I pose myself that question. So what is the opportunity for me to either develop or to embrace or to do more of or to do less of? And you go through this thing pretty much every day.

Yeah.

And I think it's a good opportunity for me. How can I be the best dad? How can I be the best service provider for what I do? And one thing that I've come, we'll talk about work a little bit before I transition over to being a parent is, you know, whether I'm helping people with revenue or productivity, whatever it is, a lot of the clientele that I have just simply are in a let's wait and see or I can't pay you right now. And if I'm going to provide the best service I can, I need to remove all that, including money. So I've been doing a lot of pro bono work. If they need it, I give it to them and it's paying it forward down the road. Is that who I am deep down? Yeah, it is. But as a revenue driving professional, we can't say do your stuff for free. That is like the cardinal sin. Well, yeah, I'm breaking my own rules now because I can. And if people need it, I provide it because that's what we need to do. And that's another thing that's deep inside me. I like to help people and I also like to see, see people bring or facilitate other people bringing the best out of them. So that's the opportunity. What I've been able to do more of. Does that help with self care or me? It helps really bring forward who I know I really am is someone that helps people and then some people and someone that wants to help his family back to the family. My new role now is I'm a referee between my daughter and my wife, which ironically is the same role my father filled. He was referee between my mother and me. So I don't want to be that role. And that's something I'm being cognizant of is I need more time for myself and I can't get it if I'm constantly refereeing. So putting more of the onus of them figuring it out. Not merely, you know, not a Darwinian, give him a knife and see who survives, but more of, you know, you guys need to have adult conversations that have buddies going, what's wrong with that?

If you do that, please record it. I think you have a business opportunity, right?

So where is my identity in all this?

I think it's, you can tell we're all entrepreneurs it's like, how do we monetize that? I was immediately thinking when Erin was like, I don't have any kids, I was like, oh, my gosh, this is like porn for parents right now. Erin, just sit here and record all of your interactions on what you're doing right now without children. Chris, your feelings are important. Continue.

Obviously, they're important, but in a nutshell, that's all I got as far as self. I've been creating a little more space for just me now, which is hard considering the literal. The physical confinements we're living in right now. Where is my personality and where is me in all of this? I think it's coming forward, so I don't feel like I'm stifled at this point. I feel this is a great way for a lot of the things that I tend not to do, to do more of that are truly to my core beings.

That's kind of the same point that I was trying to make, Chris. Although without the complication of having to homeschool a child in the mix of that or more than one child, if that's your situation, I really feel like there is great opportunity during this time because of the change in pace and because of the change in circumstances. And I just. It's been nice for me. I feel like I'm not totally. I'm, of course, upset that the pandemic situation and the global crisis that we're all experiencing is happening. However, I feel like this has been a really nice change of pace for me personally, I can say for sure. But I feel like for a lot of the other people that I've spoken with as well, that just changing up the pace makes everything feel a little bit different and gives us a chance to have a different perspective, whatever that may be.

Yeah.

So this.

This awareness or this observation, you guys know I have my little journal that I use on a daily basis for, like, gratitude and. And just my priorities and stuff. And so it said, like, what are you grateful for? And so I just flipped back through a couple pages and I. There were things around being grateful with my kids, like, experiences that I had with my kids. There were things that I was grateful for with my clients. There were things that I was grateful for with difference makers discussions. And I was like, where. Where is Bunny? And, like, all of that gratitude, like, yes, I had a part in all of that, but where is my gratitude specifically directed at? I'm grateful that you chose to. Woke up.

Wait.

Wake up today. Hold on, Erin, edit that for me.

You are very grateful to Wake up this morning. There we go.

Thank you. See, it was like live right there. So I'm grateful that Erin is there to edit myself. I'm just gonna need you to follow me around. There's so many times where things just come out of my mouth. Yes. I also need you to filter me. So that's. That's kind of where the space came up. And then it was like, Well, I. To Chris's point is like, is that myself? So I guess I had that moment where it was like, I think therefore I am. And then the other thought that I was processing was I was doing these self awareness sessions, like foundations of self awareness sessions for these teams in companies. And one of the questions that we go through is, what are you looking forward to? And a lot of the team's answers were about what they're looking forward to for others. And very few of them had internal. I want to say interesting, but that's not the real word. But like, internal things that. I'm looking forward to this for myself. It was very much like a. I'm looking forward to this for the world or for my team or for my company or for all the people who have lost their jobs. And so, you know, I know there's a balance between selfish and, you know, selfless. But I know I've written, wrote a blog on the aspect of self full and making sure that you're acknowledging that you are something other than a father, you are something other than a husband, a referee, an editor, you know, vice president of HR for a large bank, and that there's this self, that seed that's inside of you, that you're growing and that you're cultivating. And there's no right or wrong in here, but just an acknowledgement of. For me not measuring myself by how well I am fulfilling those roles, but for me to take a step, at least to commit to today, that my gratitude practice this morning and this afternoon or in this evening are around the things that I'm grateful for. The self that I am. I know that is not correct grammar, but I mean it intentionally. But the self that I am rather than the things that I do. And that's not to say that's right or wrong. It's just a practice that I wanted to try out to see if I can create some more space for this self. Because what I found I was doing is like, hey, guys, you know, I need some time for myself to go write these blogs, or I need some time for myself to go ride my horses. I need some time for myself to go, you know, like, do the laundry. And, like, that's not necessarily time for self. I mean, depending on what I'm doing with the horses, it could be time for self. But, like, do you have time and space for yourself? Is a question that's in my mind. And that was what, you know, I really wanted to bring you guys in and discuss, and I really appreciate your perspectives on it. And as that evolves, you know, continuing to share those perspectives on it, I.

Feel like what you said there, Bunny, I want to make a comment that my feeling about self throughout this whole global experience that we're all going through has, in fact, shifted. When we first went into sheltering in place, and there was the idea of lockdown and everything changing in what felt like a moment, I definitely had an initial reaction of nose to the grindstone, do everything I can, jump into action, try to solve the problem. And I feel like part of that was for other people. But the longer that we have gone through this, the more I have been able to let go of that and recognize that I need to take care of myself first. Because this is the moment where we put the oxygen mask on ourselves, and if we don't, we're going to come out the other side without having learned or gained from this experience. And that seems like maybe the biggest travesty of all to me is that we would have gone through this and not grown from it. So I've seen the shift happening within myself. I'm very grateful for that. I'm grateful for you for holding the space for this conversation because I feel like it's something that I have wanted to share but haven't necessarily felt like I had the platform or the audience or even the wherewithal to do it by myself. So I appreciate the conversation space and being here with you guys.

Yeah, it's same here. I enjoy the conversation with all of us on the same channel, literally. It was interesting. I'll touch a little bit on what you kind of teased out here. And I think some folks may have a lot of regret about how they're handling this or what they started off with and are bringing into this situation or things that they had happened 15 years ago. And now all. Now they got time to think about it. We may be losing our minds about what to regret or things you want to change. And Will, my other business partner, Will Turner, wrote a really great article about how to get through regret and how to live without regret, essentially.

Not his favorite business partner, though. We're just gonna interrupt right there. Not his favorite business partner, but we love you, Will. But not his favorite.

He's my favorite guy. So I wrote an article a couple years ago on who do you want to become? And to touch a little bit on what you said, Bunny, don't worry about the what you want to become, but who. Who do you want to become? Who is that person? What qualities does that person possess? What is that? Not necessarily ideal human being, but you've got time right now to really put the magic reset on everything. That's what this opportunity is. You can become and do whatever you want to be right now. And not so much your vocation, but the human being. Who do you want to be? Do you want to be someone that's very patient? Do you want to be someone that does do a solar system out in the driveway? Do you want to be someone that becomes Superman and saves everybody? Who do you want to be? How do you want to be described? Is essentially at your core being. So if you're writing your own personality, what does it look like? What are those characteristics, and is it feasible? Absolutely. You can do whatever you want right now. You have all the time in the world to reflect, even if you're in survival mode. Well, who do you want to be during the survival situation? And that's who you can become. And is that person matching up with who you want to be in one or two years? And you've got all the time to work on.

So I'm going to close this out with a self quote. So this is your quote that you use yourself. Like, I don't know if it's a mantra or if it's, you know, just something that you're gonna leave and plant for those that are listening to kind of inspire them. And I'm stalling a little bit just to give you guys a little bit more time to think about that and respect that space. Chris, it's kind of like the ship quote that you gave in one of our other interviews. So for me, and it's modified from the Lorax because we know I received all inspiration from the Keeper of the Trees, the guardian of the trees, that I'm gonna. I'm gonna modify it with his permission. He wrote me a note and said I could modify it. And it's. Unless someone like you cares about yourself a whole awful lot, nothing's gonna get better. It's not. So that's my seed to plant for myself today. And if that works for you or if a piece of that works for you, I give it to you.

Chris. Do you have some wisdom you want to share or would you like me to jump in?

Mine was a child's prayer. So when I was really, really young, seven, eight, about my daughter's age, one of the things that I would pray for would be, you know, God is, is there anything I can do to be better tomorrow than I was today and help me be a little bit better person tomorrow? That was it. And there's a whole lengthy other stuff, but that's kind of. I've always been my mantra. What did I do? What did I do today? And what can I do tomorrow to be a better person? I think. Can I get a little help? That's it.

I love it. Well, I know you said a self quote, Bunny, but there's a quote from Helen Keller that I've carried with me for most of my life that kind of, I feel is the epitome of my. My perspective. And the quote is, turn your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. And I feel like I have applied that in countless different ways in my life, from making career decisions to making personal decisions to really even this circumstance that we find ourselves in now. Just making a point to look for what is positive in the midst of everything else and allowing that to be the focus and filling yourself with all that is still good in the world and all of the potential and the opportunity that is still around us. I feel like if we can do that, then we're going to be able to make it through pretty much anything. And so despite it being a really rainy day today, that is, that is what I would plant as a seed. To keep your face to the sunshine and to focus on the positive and what you can do rather than what you feel like is daunting, overwhelming, or impossible right now.

Great.

Thank you guys so much for sharing this space with me, with our listeners, with the difference makers. Thank you guys for the difference that you make. And you may recognize both Erin and Chris from the teaser video that went out. And if you didn't see the teaser video, please go back on the webpage and find the teaser video because they both knocked it out of the park there. Erin spent some time with Gies during her teaser video. So I'll leave you with that just so that you, you can make sure you go find that teaser video and you can find more about Erin and about Chris and about how they continue to make a difference below on the webpage. There's links to reach out to them directly if you feel like they can make a difference for you. For your team, for your company right now. And without further ado, I just thank you all for being here and making a difference, and I will talk to you soon.

Thanks, Bunny.

Thanks for having.