2024 Reflection - Caroline Cavanagh

23rd of December as I record this, and I have literally just posted my Christmas cards, so the chances of those getting there are about as likely as Santa landing on my roof tomorrow night. However, it made me think about one of the regular messages that I say to clients over, over the year that I work, and that is good is always good enough. And actually, not always true. I could have done better in this case, but given the resources and the time that I had, I did do my best. But there's always room for growth. And at this time of year, it's a time for reflection. And when I reflect back over Christmas, like for many people, it's not always the joyous time that we're often encouraged to pretend it was. I grew up in an environment where there was very little excess, and I distinctly remember emptying my stocking that was largely full of satsumas and walnuts and slipping them back into the fruit bowl because that's all my mum had to give me. But I was surrounded by love. If I came forward a little bit of time, then one of my biggest memories of Christmas was in 1997 when I got back from work on Christmas Eve, the phone was ringing to tell me that my brother who was on holiday with friends in Tenerife had had a massive brain injury and I waited on Christmas morning for the phone to ring to tell me if he was still alive. And then come forward a few more years, my mum passed away very shortly after Christmas in early 2018. So for me, Christmas doesn't have the best of memories, and that's an important message. So many people at this time of year struggle, and it's okay to struggle. And when you pretend all is good and it's not, then all you're doing is acknowledging that your feelings are not worthy. And I'm here to say they are. What is your reality? Is real. And the thing that I reflect on most is that despite some of the challenges throughout this time of year that I've experienced, I have always been surrounded by love. My mum was an incredible person, and even though I didn't have the materialistic goods that a lot of my friends had, I had abundant love. And when my brother was seriously ill, I had the love of my boyfriend, now husband. who supported me through that. And now in times that I still think for many women especially, because most of Christmas tends to fall on us, I'm surrounded by the love of my family, children, and very many wonderful friends. So this is a reflective time, and there are 3 things that I do between Christmas and New Year that is really my, I guess, contribution to you, whether I know you or not, whether you're getting a Christmas card from me on After Christmas, or not. And first is the question of what went well this year. It's been a tough year for me, for many, but there has always been some good stuff as well. And again, that's another thing that I do with a lot of my clients is what we focus on becomes our reality. I could sit here and reminisce on all the tough times, or I could focus on on all of the good times because they are there. So one of the things that I will do between Christmas and New Year is sit down and reflect on all of the good things that have happened. The second element of the little exercise is to then think about what one thing, and it may be a habit, it may be a person, it may be a job, What one thing do you not want to take forward with you into next year? So what do you want to let go of? What do you want to cut the tie of and go, that stays in 2024? And then the third thing is, what are you going to start doing right now to start making that happen? Because so many of us say, right, I'm not going to do that in 2024, But I'll carry on doing it right up until midnight on the 31st of December, and I'll start it new on the 1st of January. And I would put money, and I'm not a betting person, on anyone that tells me that they're going to start a— I can't think of the word, what do we call it? A New Year's resolution, that's the word! A resolution on the 1st of January, because I know the chances are they're not going to do it. If you want to change something in your life, the time to change it is right now. Right now. If you're putting it off, you really don't want to change it. So I've already decided what I'm not taking through with me into 2025, and that's what I call my magpie syndrome. It's grabbing all the shiny good things, the new ideas, the new opportunities, and go, oh, this looks really good, I'll go down there. And I've already started putting in place now the things that are going to help me stop being a magpie in 2025. I'm not waiting till January 1st. I've started now. So the 3 things as a reminder: what's done well? Focus on the good things because they will be there, and the more you focus on the positive, the more you learn to see the positive, and that's a great habit to carry through into 2025 with you. What do you not want to take forward? It could be a habit, it could be a person, a relationship, One of many things, but just pick one. And then what can you start doing right now to put that into place to mean that even before you get to January 1st, you've started making those changes already? So I will finish this little recording, which may well be the last one of 2024, wishing you, whomever you're with, I hope you have love around around you? And assuming that you have, and that is my wish for you, who can you give love to that may be lacking in love this Christmas? Think about the homeless, the refugees. What can you do to share a little bit more love? Because goodness knows, in the world that we're living in at the moment, we need a lot more love. And on that note, wishing you much love, much happiness at Christmas that not only comes at Christmas but takes you through into 2025 too. Bye-bye for now.