Anxiety alchemy video diary 5 - the final chapter

Hi, my name's Caroline Cavanagh, and this is the last in the series of video clips I've been doing about my journey from facing my anxiety to achieving confidence. And I am really pleased— in fact, I'll go as far as saying proud to say— that 5 days ago I jumped out of an airplane at 15,000 feet, which is something I have been wanting to do Since I was a teenager, opportunities have come up and I've never taken them because I was scared. And when a client of mine challenged me to walk the talk and said, well, you teach all these other people about facing anxieties, you're probably never anxious yourself. I thought, well, of course I am. And she said, well, okay, prove to me that this system works. So it worked. I jumped out of an aeroplane, and what I really want to share with you in this last clip It's not about the journey through it because that's all in the other clips. Go and watch those if you're interested to, to see the journey through the Anxiety Alchemy Process. But what I really wanted to share is something that at the beginning I didn't even really appreciate, is how I would feel when I faced my anxiety and actually smashed through it. Right the way along, one of the earliest insights that I had as I started going through the Anxiety Alchemy Process was My fear wasn't just about jumping out of an airplane. It was something very specific. It was the feeling of freefall, because I was using all sorts of previous references to other experiences of freefall I had that I hated. And so I'd set up this belief, I'm going to hate the freefall. And the freefall that I did was a minute long, going through the air at 125 miles an hour. Do you know what? I loved it. It was the most exhilarating— in fact, exhilarating doesn't even scrape the surface. It was a feeling I can't even find a word for that begins to match it. And so that was one of the first things that I wanted to talk about and just touch on today, is what we fear is rarely, rarely true. We have a perception. Perception isn't based on fact, it's based on assumptions. I was assuming that I was going to hate the free fall based on things that I'd done were vaguely similar. But you know, plowing through the air at that speed with no references around you is completely different to the fairground rides, to the bungee jumping that I'd done before. It was unique, and so was the feeling. So I'd got my knickers in a twist about assuming that I was going to be really scared of something that I knew nothing about, and I was so, so wrong. And so that's really the first thing that I, I'd love you to take on board now. Whatever you're feeling, Whatever you're scared about, it's probably not real. You are making assumptions, and those assumptions are based on things that could be getting the references very, very wrong. I love that feeling of falling out. Once you got over the initial, oh my goodness, just— it was phenomenal. Okay, but I need to move on from that because I'm going to go on for it for too long. The other feelings were when I landed. I had assumed that I would never want to jump out of a plane again because it would be, face my fear, done it, ticks box, don't need to go there again. As soon as I landed, the first thing I wanted to do was get up on the next flipping plane and do it again because it felt so incredibly amazing. Why wouldn't you want to carry on feeling those feelings of success? Unfortunately, I didn't have the money or the resources to go up in the plane again, but what I've held on to now And 5 days later is the real incredible feeling that I faced my fear, I was successful, and most importantly, I know I can do absolutely anything I set my mind to. I set my mind to, to doing this parachute jump even though it was scaring the bejeebies out of me. For a long, long time, I didn't want to fail, and it was the fear of failure that really was my motivation. So underpinning all of this is, what have you— what is your motivation? Do you really want to overcome the fear that you have? And quite often, deep down, you may not to. You may not want to. I have relatives of mine that I know stay in quite a bad state because it gives them a secondary benefit. It gives them attention, and they'd rather have that attention than be feeling very fit and healthy and happy but lonely. And so that's their choice. And so dig deep. Is your anxiety something you really want to overcome? And if the answer is an unmitigated yes, then you find what is that motivation that will change. For me, it was the fear of failure. I didn't want to fail because I find that very, very hard to deal with. And that was enough to allow me to start taking those steps, to go through the process that I did. And slowly, bit by bit, my anxiety came down and down and down to a point that I can genuinely say, as I was getting on the plane, I was excited. There's a few clips on my Facebook page where I'm in tears about an hour before I jumped because there were just waves of emotion going across me. I thought I'd do a little clip, and behind me a load of the previous jumpers came in, and I just looked across them and thought, that's going to be me very shortly. And just this wave, this tidal wave came over me, and the floodgates opened. But you know, that's okay. I'm alright about that because I know again that was all part of my anxiety going, my God, woman, you're really going to do this. I'm going to get you really ready for it. Because I did. I got really ready for it at that point. I thought, this is— I am going to jump. I am going to be one of those people in the blue boiler suits coming back with a grin from ear to ear because they have just done something that's amazing too. And so all of these things are now filed away in my database. I have created some phenomenal references now that mean I'm a bigger person, I'm a stronger person. And it doesn't mean I'm never going to feel anxious again. Of course I am. There's things that already my children are saying to me, what's next, Mum? I'm thinking, ooh, what about that hang gliding thing? If I can do 1,500 feet, maybe I could do higher. Who knows? At the moment, I don't need to do that, but I know that anything that comes up in the future that I do start to feel anxious about, I will remember the experience that I had Saturday, and I will know— I don't need to feel anxious. I just need to apply all the tools that I have, all the skills that I know I have access to. I can reduce that anxiety. I will smash through it, and I will feel phenomenal when I do. So my closing message to you, and to, to sum up the whole of this series that we've put together, is Stop feeling anxious. Face it, because whatever you're feeling anxious about, it's never going to be as bad as you're imagining it is now. And when you do smash through it, you will feel a feeling like I did that is so phenomenal you will wish you can have it all of the time. Now that's unrealistic, I believe, or perhaps it's not, but there you go, that's another thing for another time. I certainly haven't continued to feel like I did Or Saturday afternoon. It took me a long time to land emotionally after the physical landing, but that has dwindled. But what's been left is so phenomenally strong, it's so supportive, that it genuinely— I know now I'm not going to feel anxiety in the same way about something like this ever again. And even when something does come along that makes me anxious, I'm going to be able to face it much more readily, knowing that the other side of that anxiety Is a feeling that I want. I want to feel that feeling again and again and again. Anxiety is not for me anymore. It's my friend. It's the warning sign that's saying, you're doing something that we don't know much about, and it's making me now go away and find out more about it. Just like finding out that that freefall sensation wasn't as I anticipated, finding out that my anxiety was massively reduced When someone decided to do the jump with me, because I wasn't on my own. So now any anxiety that I have in the future, I will seek to find a buddy, someone to help me face either their anxiety in the same area, or perhaps someone that's already done it that I can learn from. These are incredible things. Again, just means that in the future I will be stronger, better at what I do, and more able to help other people, which is also really important to me. So if you've been inspired by anything in these video clips, if you've been inspired by seeing how I've changed from that person who only just a few weeks ago had a, um, a tumble dryer on the rapid cycle churning around in my tummy even by looking at someone that was coming down on a parachute, here I am now thinking, let me do again. I love it. If you want to be like that, if you want to experience the same sort of feelings, then you can. The book Anxiety Alchemy is there to guide you. I'm here for anyone that wants to work with me, and there's going to be all sorts of new resources coming out in the very near future that you can also access if you choose to make anxiety a thing of the past and confidence what you build your future upon. So thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing this journey for me. Thank you for allowing me to have shared my journey with you, and I very much hope that I will speak to you again in the very near future. Bye-bye now.