Comparison and Mental Health | @caroline-cavanagh | The Anxiety Alchemist

13 Jul 2026 · 2 min

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1:46

In this short motivational monologue, Caroline Cavanagh (The Anxiety Alchemist) argues that comparing oneself to other people—especially strangers on social media—is fundamentally unfair, much like trying to compare a grape to a grapefruit. She points out that individuals differ in age, background, memories, and circumstances, making such comparisons invalid. The speaker emphasizes that the only truly fair comparison is between one's current self and one's past self (e.g., a week, a year, or yesterday). By reflecting on personal growth over time, individuals can recognize improvements in confidence, learning, and overall well‑being, which supports healthier mental health habits for teenagers and anyone prone to social comparison.

Chapters

We all compare. It's a natural thing that we do, but often the comparisons that we draw really aren't very fair. Imagine a grape— needs a bit of imagination— and a grapefruit. Can you compare them? Well, you could argue they're both fruit. Yeah, but one's sweet, one's sour, one's got a really thin skin, one's got a really thick skin, one's got pips in, The other one has got really big pips in. They are fundamentally different. So can we really compare them? And what I notice, especially with teenagers, is that they will compare themselves against everyone else. So yeah, it's fair enough, you're another human being, but that's like 2 things being 2 fruit. But is that person the same age, had the same background, got the same memories, got the same anything? Fundamentally, they're different. So is the comparison really fair? So just think about when you are comparing yourself against someone you don't even know on Twitterface. Is that really a fair comparison? What is, however, a really fair comparison is the you of yesterday, the you of a week ago, the you of A year ago. And when you make that comparison, you will probably find that the you of today is better, learnt more, more confident. That is the fair comparison.