In this video, anxiety specialist Caroline Cavanagh discusses the link between motivation and anxiety, noting that procrastination often stems from fear. She introduces a practical self‑help method called the “20 Reasons” technique, which helps individuals—especially teenagers and adults—generate internal motivation. The method involves writing down 20 reasons split into three categories: (1) the carrot – benefits or positive outcomes of completing the task; (2) the stick – costs or negative consequences of not doing it, which she argues is often a stronger driver; and (3) contribution – ways the action benefits others or adds value to the wider world. Caroline illustrates the technique with real‑world examples, such as a teen deciding on a gap year, a university student facing an assignment, and a person trying to quit smoking. She emphasizes that the list can be expanded beyond 20, kept visible (e.g., on the fridge), and used to overcome hurdles by providing multiple motivational anchors. The video concludes with a call to viewers to try the method, share their experiences in the comments, and visit her blog for a written version of the tip, promising future anxiety‑management tools.
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Hi there, my name is Caroline Cavanagh. I am an anxiety specialist, and today I wanted to do a little bit of a chat around motivation. And now I know motivation and anxiety, not necessarily, you know, totally aligned, but there is a correlation because when you procrastinate, it's normally because you've got a fear about something. But I really want to focus more on motivation today because it's something that I've been talking to my clients An awful lot. And also, as a mum myself, one of the things that I'm seeing an awful lot with my own children, and also hearing from the parents of teenagers that are part of a teen stress Facebook group that I run, is, my teenagers won't do anything. The motivation has just disappeared. So I know this is a big issue for teenagers at the moment. And, you know, I think there's a lot of adults, myself, you know, motivation is not as high to do some things as it would normally be. So what I'm going to talk to you about is a technique that I can't take any ownership of this. I learned it from my coach, who I think got it from his coach, so I don't know who to credit with this, but it really works. And the first thing it's really important to understand is that motivation has to come from within. Again, I say to my kids, you know, I can't make you do anything. Gone are the days where I could just pick them up and put them in the car if I wanted to. They have to be able to motivate themselves, and it's a really important skill to be able to develop because we will always— or consistently, should I say— find ourselves in a situation where there's things that you don't want necessarily to do, but perhaps you need to do. And that leads us sort of into the carrot and stick. If you want to do something, that's the carrot, but sometimes you need to do something even if you don't, and the implications of not doing it is where the stick comes in. So motivation, you know, I need it, adults need it, teenagers need it, and it's really about— this system is about finding an energy To do something when the energy is running low. But the other thing I really love about this technique is it's also really powerful at those times when you get challenged, because if the motivation isn't high enough, if a little hurdle pops up, it can sometimes— even a small hurdle can be enough to derail you and you just think, oh, can't be bothered, and then motivation disappears. So this technique. It's simply called 20 Reasons, and the basic principle being, if you can't find 20 reasons why you should be doing something, the bottom line is you're going to be challenged to actually complete it. And there's 3 parts of it that I've developed that I find really, really works. So it's just simple. Get a piece of paper, write down 1 to 20, and just start writing. Think about the first element. What are the benefits that I'm going to get for having done this? So this is the carrot, and it's typically the easiest reasons that you can come up with. What are the things that are going to be good? So it might be, I'll just feel brilliant when it's all done. That's a carrot. It's a good feeling for having done it, completed it. That's a motivation. Write as many down of those as you can. Then we bring in wave number 2. This is the stick. What are going to be the costs to you of not doing this thing? So that may be, you know, in teenagers, oh, I'm going to get into trouble, I might get a detention, if they're even in school ever, but the implications of not doing that thing. And the reality is, when it comes to motivation, the stick is actually a more powerful motivator than the carrot. If you think you will move away from From afar if you're too hot, much quicker than you move away to it if you're cold. So a pain is typically a much stronger motivation. Hi for all those of you watching live, lovely to see you. Yes, the stick is a much more powerful motivator than the carrot in a lot of situations. But then there is a third element to this, and this is, how are other people going to benefit from me doing this thing. Now, contribution is one of the really important factors that we as human beings need. It is very common for someone that's just on that brink of deciding, am I going to take my life or not? Something that they often, when fortunately they do manage to pull them back, pull themselves back, say is, I just felt as if Perfect timing, Caroline. Thank you. I just felt as if there was no point to me being on this earth. I have no value. I add no value. So adding value to the wider world, to our friends, to our family, is a really, really important part of us as being humans. So that's the third way. Think about all of the things that by you doing this thing is going to help others, to make a contribution. beyond your own personal satisfaction. And so I did this exercise this week with a lovely young lady that I'm working with. She was really in a quandary about going and having a gap year before going on to university. She wanted to go travelling, but she was like, oh, I don't know if I do, don't know if I don't, I don't know if I'm motivated to do all the work to, to make it happen. So we did this exercise. It was easy to come up with all the positives. You had the excitement of travelling, the ability to be a bit more grown-up, the independency. Those came in very quickly. Then we moved it on to the costs. What are going to be the negatives if she doesn't go? Well, I might regret it. Won't be able to practice my language. All of those things came up. And then we hit the third tier, and she sat there a little bit quietly and went, Actually, if I go traveling, what I'm planning on doing is going into kind of like back, uh, back areas, not the normal populous tourist areas, and so I'm going to be spending money in areas that my little bit of money might actually make a difference to local businesses. I'm thinking about doing a bit of teaching foreign language, so I might be able to teach some kids some words of English. And she just lit up. And we just kept going, and actually she came up with 20 really quickly. I wasn't writing fast enough, and we kept going. And now her motivation to actually focus on the potential of going traveling, hopefully later in this year, is so much higher. And this technique, I love it because it can be applied to something really small. I also did it with a lady a couple of weeks ago She had an assignment that she, as a university student, she really didn't want to do. We did exactly the same thing. It can be applied to something life-changing like giving up smoking. It's very simple. Find at least 20 reasons, because if you don't have 20 reasons, I'm going to sit here and say to you, you probably don't want to do this enough. And by finding those 20 reasons, your energy to actually do this is it going to go much higher? And like I said, when that hurdle pops up, if you get derailed, if you've got 20 reasons, you can come to the next one and the next one and the next one. You are more likely to jump every single hurdle, even if it's a high one. The motivation will be strong enough for you to jump over that. Hi there, Carol, lovely to see you too. So as a really quick summary 3 ways to help you get motivated, all encompassed in coming up with 20 reasons. Simply get a sheet, write 1 for 20, and think about all the reasons that you're going to benefit from doing it, all the reasons that are going to cost you if you don't, and all the things that are going to contribute to the wider society, for your family, outside of you, that by doing this They are going to gain. But, you know, don't stop at 20. Keep adding to it. And what I find is I keep that list, like, somewhere easy, on the fridge, and I might be doing something, making the tea, and I just think, ah! That's another reason! Write it up. And your 20 can become 30. It can keep going. So, I hope that's been a really useful tip for you, and it's something that I use all of the time. So, please let me know if you're gonna give it a go. Let me know in the comments box. What did you experience? Did you find there were more carrots than there were sticks? If there were fewer sticks, were they actually more powerful for you? This is a really unique experience, and I find that every time I do it, the balance of those things are different too. So, 20 reasons. I'm also going to put this up in a little blog, so if you prefer reading things or want to go back over it without watching the whole video, That's going to be up very shortly on carolinecavanagh.co.uk. Please go and take a look at that too at another time if you wish to. So thank you very much to all of those that have watched it live. I hope you enjoyed it. For those of you that watched on the replay, please do pop a comment in the comments box. What value do you think this is going to be to you? Are you going to try it? And if you've tried it already, how did it work for you? And I'm going to be back very soon with another tip that will hopefully share you not only in these challenging times But to give you a tool that you can use in managing anxiety, stress, and just making life that little bit easier. But for now, over and out.
