Confidence isn't the real opposite of anxiety. Control is. Anxiety happens when you feel powerless, so reclaim it by making decisions, even imperfect ones. Start small, accept the choice won't be perfect, and use that control to move forward.
Chapters
So black has its white, left has its right, up has its down. Things tend to have opposites. So what would you say is the opposite of anxiety? The most common answer I get to that question is confidence. And kind of, yeah, I can see that, but I've got a different C word for you. That word's control. Because when you think about it, we get scared, we get anxious when we feel out of control, and the broader you feel out of control, the more anxious you tend to feel. So with the people that I work with, helping them deal with anxiety, we don't tend to talk about confidence because actually confidence is a really fragile emotion. It can really be kind of lost quite easily, whereas when you seek control, that's a really, really solid platform from which things such as confidence can then grow from. So one of the things that I do when I work with people that are anxious is all about getting more control, and that often means Making a decision. When we don't know what to do, that is a source of massive anxiety. You don't know what job to apply for, what to do after university, or even before that, what A-levels to take. And whilst you don't make a decision, that anxiety stays with you because you have no control. And perhaps if you reflect back on the times that you've made a decision, whether it's the little one or Or a really big one, suddenly you feel better. It may not turn out to be the right decision, but by having a made decision, you've gained back a level of control, and that has a big impact on how you feel. So this is a tiny little tip. It's not the answer to everything because very few people have all of the answers. But when it comes to anxiety, moving from anxiety to a place of control is often taking a little step to get some control back. By making a decision, it moves you forward. It may lead to other decisions, and that's okay. And sometimes you might not find that that path forward is very direct. You might kind of realise the decision was wrong, but that's okay. Because it's moved you forward, it's gained you control to allow you to make another decision. So bin the confidence word, replace it with another C word— control— and see how that has an impact on your anxiety.
