Caroline Cavanagh explains how the word "should" creates internal conflict between your conscious and subconscious mind, generating stress and procrastination. Replace it with explicit decisions: you either do something or you don't. She suggests "Should Bingo," a family game where anyone who says "should" gets called out and must rephrase as a clear choice.
Chapters
The words that we use out loud are also heard inside our mind, and there is one word that will trigger stress quicker than a match to a firework, and that word is should. If you're a parent with a child and you hear your child say, I should be doing my homework, you know full well that their intention is anything but to do that, because the word should is evidence that the subconscious hasn't bought into that as a decision. And what's going on internally is the rational conscious part of the mind knows that something needs to be done, but the subconscious mind isn't bought into it. And so the 2 parts of the mind are in conflict, and that in itself is a source of stress, let alone the fact that whatever needs to be done isn't going to be done, which will be a stress further down the line, but that's a different topic. So, the tip for today is to take stress— should out of the vocabulary, and instead, make a decision. Are you going to do something or not? And what this does is reduce the stress because no longer are the 2 parts of the mind in conflict. But also makes you accountable for the decision. It's going to be a good decision or a bad decision, and ironically, it tends to make the good decision an easier one to take. And this can be a little challenging to do because should is such a big part of our vocabulary. So to help me take should out of my vocabulary, we set up should bingo. In the house. And if anyone heard the word should, other members of the family were given permission to put their hand up and shout something else that begins with S, which I won't use, but you probably guessed what it is. And that triggers the person who said should to repeat and rephrase the sentence in making a decision. Give it a go because it takes a little bit of time, but this is a really, really powerful one. Have fun.
