Caroline Cavanagh explains how chronic stress becomes a comfort zone your body adapts to. Pick one calming activity that feels new or uncomfortable, do it daily for two weeks, and your brain's dopamine and serotonin shift to make relaxation feel rewarding instead.
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Hi there, I'm Caroline Cavanagh, an anxiety specialist, and I'm here today to share with you tip number 17 of my 24 tips that I'm sharing every day throughout Advent. And I'm sharing these tips because it goes without saying, we live in a stressful world. We can't change the stress that's out there in the world, but you can change the stress and how you perceive it within you. And today's tip I've shared until this point in the series of 24 because a lot of people as of tomorrow may be slowing down for Christmas, school stopping, all those things happening. So it's a tip that needs a little bit of practice, but once you practice, it becomes a new norm. And if you think most of the things that we do automatically now took time to practice— you couldn't walk straight away, it took practice— learning to ride a bike, learning to drive a car, All of these things, when you first did it, felt really uncomfortable, really difficult, but now you do them without thinking. And we often refer to those things as being in the comfort zone. You do something that's in your comfort zone. And so if you are a smoker, for example, you probably spend more time in pubs because that's an environment where there are more people that do that kind of thing. If you're a fitness bunny, you will spend a lot of time in a gym because there are people Like you, with the same behaviours around you. They're all in the same comfort zone, and that leaves you feeling comfortable. However, comfort zone doesn't necessarily mean it is comfortable. What it means is you know how it works. And the reality is, being stressful can also become a comfort zone. You know how to be stressed, and the body very, very quickly adapts. A bit like that learning to ride a bike, learning to drive a car, it becomes easy to do and easier the more you do it. So the more you are stressed, the easier it is to become stressed, and then you tend to spend more time around people who are also stressed, and it becomes a perpetual circle. So the point of this tip is to be less stressed, you need to get outside your comfort zone. And when we say outside of the comfort zone, again, it means that you're doing something that isn't how you know how to do it. It's new, it's different. And that may be doing something that's calm, because if you're always, ah, ah, Mach 10, manic life, doing something that, you know, just laying in a bath for an hour, going for a nice long walk— often when I say that to clients that are really stressed, it's like, oh, I haven't got time to do that! Yeah! And that's why you're stressed. It's about making a choice. We all have 24 hours in a day. No human being on this earth has any different. It's a choice in how you spend that time. So if you want to feel stressed, it's about making different choices and going outside of your comfort zone. One of my favourite sayings is an Einstein saying, and it's, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. So if you're still packing your day in with doing the same things but wanting to feel more relaxed, it ain't gonna happen. That's insanity. So it's about doing something different. So my challenge for today, the challenge of tip number 17, is over the next couple of weeks or over the Christmas period, every day do one thing that is outside of your comfort zone that is relaxing, that's calming. Whether for you that is, you know, a lie in a beautiful hot bath, going for a walk, doing some exercise. Relaxation doesn't have to be passive. It's a very common misconception. I know, for example, that things that relax me more is exercise and stomping through woodlands with, with my dog. It's quite physical, but I come back feeling better, and that's the secret. Doesn't matter what it is if after doing it you feel better, calmer, more energized. So for you, think what that may be, whether it's curling up, you know, under the duvet with a really good book for a period of time. And ideally have several different things that you can do, because different times, different days will support different activities. But the more you do it, the more you're going to extend your comfort zone and actually change your internal body chemistry so your body becomes comfortable with being relaxed rather than comfortable with stress and actually seeking to be more stressed to get you back in that comfort zone. So this can sometimes be a little bit of a tricky one to get your head around, but it's very basic. For the next— I know, what are we, the day 17th? For the next, uh, 14 days, that takes us to the last day in the year. That's a bit of a signpost, isn't it? Um, do one thing every day, ideally for about half an hour minimum. Half an hour to an hour would be good because it will start to change your internal body chemistry, bringing in more of the chemicals that are called dopamine, serotonin, that are the calming, feel-good chemicals. And the more your body gets used to having those, the more it will crave having those, the less stressed you'll be, and the easier it will be To then choose to go for those long walks, have that long bath, be under the duvet and read a book. So thank you very much for watching. I would love if you would be prepared to try this or to give this, this tip a go. If you are, perhaps put a thumbs up in the comments box or even say, hi Gwen, lovely to see you, and say what it is that you're going to do, what your commitment is, and And, you know, I can hold you accountable, keep sending you messages to say, have you done it today? Because again, accountability helps us to grow outside of that comfort zone, so the comfort zone gets bigger and encompasses that new behaviour too. For anyone that's kind enough to share any of these videos or like the page if they haven't already, I would really appreciate that. And as a thank you, I will put your name in a hat, and I'll be drawing a number of names out of the After Christmas and offering those people to work one-to-one with them as my way of saying thank you for spreading these messages, these skill sets, because the more people that have them, the less stressed hopefully 2021 is going to be. So over and out for now, and tomorrow I will be back with tip number 18. See you soon.
