Caroline Cavanagh describes the anxiety and sleepless nights of planning her wedding, then shares four techniques that helped her manage stress: deep relaxation, visualization, balanced eating, and rapid stress interventions. These tools work for any major life change, not just weddings.
Chapters
Hi, my name's Caroline. You may have seen me recently at the Wiltshire Wedding Fair, so if you stopped by and had a chat, thank you for stopping by and it was great to talk to you. It was a really amazing day, lots of excited people looking for photographers, caterers, all that kind of stuff. A real buzz in the place, which was lovely. Since then though, I've been wondering how many people actually take the time To concern themselves about how they're feeling. So I wanted to take a couple of minutes to do just that, ask you, how are you doing? How are you actually feeling? Now since the wedding fair and with the people that I've worked with, I've been thinking back to my time before my wedding. It was about 10 months between that magical day of getting engaged and the big day itself, and in that 10 months Really, the only thing that dominated my life was that wedding day. I had to become an events organiser overnight, pulling together all those different strands. I had to become an accountant to manage a particularly tight budget. I had to help my dad, who was getting really panicky about doing a speech in front of over 100 people. And actually, my own anxieties about what the heck he was going to say. Whilst also going to the gym a lot more to try and be the shape, look the way I wanted to feel on that day. And so when I put all that together, those memories aren't all that good. I remember lots of sleepless nights. I remember feeling quite sick, upset tummy, worried about things. And in all of that, it feels like to me such a shame that that period, that 10 months of my life, Could have been an awful lot better. And so really, that's what I want to take a couple of minutes of your time now to help you understand some of the things that I've learnt in recent years that I wish I had known in that time in the run-up to my wedding, because it would have made such a difference and would have made such a difference to the memories that I hold now. I can't have my time again, but I can help you to make your time in this run-up to your wedding, which should be so special, make it absolutely magical. Some of the things that I've learnt, as I say, I wish I'd learnt back then. It's things like learning how to relax deeply. I can take myself off now to a place where it's a bit like plugging your phone into the charger. After a really short period of time, you feel re-energised, revitalised, ready to take on the world again. I've learnt about a technique called visualisation, which is absolutely incredible. It is such a powerful technique and it's used in many aspects of society in many different ways now. I would love it if everyone could learn how to use this. It makes such a difference. I've learnt how to manage my weight. In the 14 or so years since I've been married, I've pretty much stayed the same size. I don't yo-yo diet anymore because I don't need to. I have a relationship with food that allows me to stay the weight that I want to be. I don't deny myself food. I have a great relationship with food, and it's a wonderful and empowering place to be in. And these techniques, the best thing about them is they're all really, really easy to use. For example, I've been working with a lady recently. For 30 years she had a phobia of birds. Prevented her doing so many things in life that she wanted to do. We had 2 sessions together and she now has a wonderful relationship with birds. They're just nothing in her life. She does whatever she wants to do. And she says she wished she'd learnt that an awful long time ago. I've worked with people who want to lose weight. And the wonderful thing is once they lose the weight, the weight stays off. They don't have this yo-yo relationship. And the permanent feeling of denying yourself the things that you want to eat. I've also had people come in here who are so stressed they're almost physically shaking, but they leave here calm, collected, happy, and that is a wonderful thing for them to be able to do. And they not just do it here, they learn how to do that on their own at any time that they choose to. And it's not just about learning those things to help you in this period in the run-up to the wedding and even on the wedding day itself. They're skills that you can use for the rest of your life to really make a difference now and for your future as well. So I'm not going to take up any more of your time. Thank you for listening if you're still up. But what I'd love to do, or what I'd love you to do and to ask of you, if you take a few seconds and just reply to this email. Just drop me a few words, even if it's just, yep, wedding plans are going fantastic, hear what you say, things are great. That would be wonderful to hear. Or it may be that there's something I've said that's really clicked with you. You may think, yeah, I'd quite fancy hearing a little bit more about this visualisation thing. We can have a chat about that. Or it may be that you are battling with your weight, in which case let me join on your side. We can battle together and we'll make a pretty invincible team. We can win that battle. I'm really, really confident of that. Maybe you want to give up smoking. There's all sorts of things that if you want to change in your life, Have a talk to me about it, it'll be completely confidential, and we'll see where we go with it. So I want you more than anything to be able to look back on this time but have a different memory than I do. I want you to look back and remember the laughter, the fun, and the anticipation of your wedding day as being a really, really positive thing. So please give me the chance to let me do that for you and with you. It would be wonderful. Thank you for listening. It's been lovely talking to you, and I really look forward to hearing from you soon. Take care now.
