Anxiety specialist Caroline Cavanagh explains why uncertainty drains mental energy and offers a two-hour planning framework to reduce worry. Instead of predicting distant events, focus on immediate, controllable steps. She uses everyday examples like client appointments and unexpected cancellations to show how shortening your planning horizon can lower anxiety.
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Hi there, my name's Caroline Cavanagh and I am an anxiety specialist and public speaker. And if you'd met me about 20 years ago and asked me what I was doing in 6 months' time, I'd have probably been able to give you a really succinct answer. But ask me now and I'd probably struggle, be a bit flaky on what I'm even doing tomorrow. And that's really what I wanted to come and talk to you about today. Why my new planning framework, which is about 2 hours, has the impact of reducing anxiety. Because if you're anxious, what you're doing is creating some thoughts. So just think about it for a moment— thoughts are not real. Think about, let's say, uh, it's next summer, we can travel wherever we want, there are no masks to be seen anywhere. Wouldn't that be amazing? Just have that thought. How do you feel? But now think about next summer when masks are still abundant, we still can't go anywhere, we're still in lockdown. And you know, even just saying that, I can feel my whole heart kind of go— but you know, we are still just— I'm talking, you're listening, we haven't moved, but even just having those thoughts have created a different feeling. So if you're someone that thinking of the future makes you feel really anxiety— anxious, or not having a future that's totally planned out also leads to feelings of anxiety even— be good if I could say it, wouldn't it?— then carry on listening because this tip may be really, really good for you. So we've spoken a little bit and experienced— gosh— experienced even how anxiety can be felt even when you're just sitting there having a thought. Thoughts, as I said, aren't real, but to have a thought requires energy. So imagine your body now as, as a battery, a bit like your phone battery. By having thoughts, it's like having lots of apps open, and those apps are all draining your battery all of the time. And the more drained you become, the harder those thoughts are to really be clear and have some clarity. When you're feeling anxious, it's a response to vulnerability, and vulnerability is a response to not feeling in control. But can we actually control the future? At the moment, a lot of people are talking about the impending vaccine. It's great to know it's out there, but do we know when it's going to be in? Do we know if it's actually going to work? There's an awful lot of Of anxiety, lack of control related to that. And then we go down the path of the what-ifs. What if this happens? What if that happens? Again, that consumes a huge amount of energy from our body's battery. I don't know about you, but when I've done that kind of what-if scenario again, planning out, well, if this happens, I can do this, and if that happens, I can do this, and And so you go on draining the battery, and then life throws in that lowballer, and all of the things you planned out didn't happen, but something you hadn't thought about did. But because your battery's low, you're actually in a really poor physical state to deal with that lowball when it does, and you end up on your bottom. And that's why I now have a planning framework of about 2 hours. I'm not joking, it really genuinely is. It used to be 4, But in COVID, I've just halved it, and, you know, it still seems to be working. So let me put this in a context that you might find easier to relate to, and it really maps on beautifully to a video that I posted a couple of days ago that you can find on YouTube. I'll put a link in the comments box later. If I was to think about, okay, I'm gonna drive to Glasgow, if I planned the the event or the route in infinitesimal detail, it's not going to change what happens along the route. So what I do now is I kind of think, right, well, I'm heading to Glasgow, so that probably means from here Oxford, Birmingham, Manchester. So I put little stepping stones in place, but generally I just know, keep heading north, you're going to get there. But then my energy, my focus is just about on the piece of road that I can see in front of me, because that's the piece of road I have control over. If the brake lights go on in front of me, I can respond in that moment and take the action that is most appropriate in that moment. But if I was sitting in Oxford and heard on the radio that there's a traffic jam in Manchester, I'm not in Manchester, I can't control it, I can't do anything about it, and the chances are by the time I get there it's going to be cleared anyway. So why give it my energy? Why put that energy into an area that's got no control, leaving me feeling vulnerable? And what's the result of vulnerability? Yeah, worrying, anxious. So in my general kind of lifestyle now, I do go on that 2 hours. So I know that in an hour or so time I've got a client coming to see me. I've put some thought into that now because was she going to cancel? She probably would have done by now. But in all honesty, I haven't thought about the clients I'm seeing tomorrow because I might get up tomorrow to a text to say that, you know, someone's not coming, or one of the kids may be ill, or the dog may need to go to the vets. All of those things, if I planned those sessions in great detail now and gave my energy and thoughts to it, And they didn't happen, I'd have wasted that energy. So I'd rather keep my energy secure. Just focus on the time zone that I can control, about my 2 hours. I've got my kind of stepping stone ahead. I know I'm probably gonna have to feed the kids at some point. What am I gonna feed them? Don't know. But I'll find something, because at that point I'll have the resources to put things together to know I can do that. And so that's my planning technique. Have a really clear goal of where you want to go. So my Glasgow, that's kind of my dream, goal, vision, whatever word you want to use it. It's my— I know I'm heading this direction. It gives my energy somewhere to move towards so that in every decision I know if I'm going to Glasgow, I'm heading north. I have that dream, so I know with all that I'm doing, that's the way I'm going to be continuing going. But as for now, once that's in place Bring your planning horizon right close because that's where you're in control. And now we know when you're in control, there's very, very little room for anxiety. So I hope that's helped. Please give me some comments. Does this work for you? Can you see how maybe your, your planning framework may be able to go from perhaps a month to a week? How that may affect you? I'd love to hear your comments. I'd love to hear if you feel this is a technique that you could like to add into your toolbox. Of how to keep reducing anxiety. But for now, thank you so much for listening, and I look forward to talking to you and sharing another tool that I use very soon. Bye-bye.
