A short motivational YouTube talk by Catherine Bell urging listeners to accurately assess their contributions to relationships using the "emotional bank account" metaphor (deposits = "commas"; withdrawals = damage). Bell emphasizes seeking first to understand (Stephen Covey), having honest conversations about perceived value, calculating how many "commas" were added or withdrawn, and doing the remedial work needed to restore relationships.
Chapters
Adding commas to emotional bank accounts, be it in all relationships and family relationships, business relationships, whatever it is. So what I've observed is that a lot of people actually place more value on what they're contributing or believe that they're actually contributing to the relationship and think that that same, that other person that is experiencing that brings that same value to whatever it is. Well, it's really important that we have accurate thinking about what we're actually contributing to the relationships and what it actually means to the other person and the other party. So one of my favorite things from one of Stephen Covey's books is first seek. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. So when we get really accurate thinking and understand what we're contributing and the value that the other person places on that in the relationship, that means everything to the actual relationship. Again, all relationships function like this. So I invite you to get really, really curious about what you believe you're bringing to these relationships and have an authentic conversation about the value that it actually adds to the relationship and just see, does it bring the same level of value and commas that you're adding to those emotional bank account that you think it does? Does it actually contribute that to the other person? So let me get really clear on this then. It will actually eliminate a lot of frustration for both parties and make it really, really easy to have incredible relationships with each other. So I invite you to put on your big boy underwear and your big girl underwear and, and really like check in with yourself and check in with the other people that matter to you and find out what value what you're doing, who you're being in the relationship, what that actually contributes to them personally, and how many commas that essentially adds to that emotional bank account. And then also look at the damage that you may be actually doing to the relationship and how many withdrawals from that emotional bank account that actually takes out of the relationship. And then you actually have to calculate how many commas you or how much more work you need to do to add commas to deal with how many emotional commas you withdrew from that bank account for whatever you did. So with that, I want to make sure that you're having successful relationships and giving you some food for thought. So I hope you have an extraordinary day.
