Reclaiming Your Worth: Overcoming Abandonment & Inadequacy in a High-Performance World | Titan Impac

Okay, so as always, I am Catherine Bell here with Titan Impact Group and I am a five time international best selling author that loves to add commas to your bank accounts and collapse timelines. That's like my favorite thing to do and make an impact, right? That's the whole point of Titan. So Titan is being the sentinels of the American dream, whatever that looks like for you. Impact is that every investment that we do leaves every person, property and community better than we found them. And group allows for families to plug in and to create those passive streams of income so that when any of the five Ds hit death, divorce, diagnosis, downsized or being dumped, that you have the financial foundation so that you can weather those storms that unfortunately a lot of us experience. So that's the impact that I'm here to make. And with that, I'm so super, super excited to share with you, introduce you. Share? Yes, I'm sharing. One of my favorite people, Baz and I had the pleasure of meeting, gosh, months ago, it's been a long time, and getting to know each other through a mastermind and having some really intense, meaningful conversations that actually matter in the world. And that's what I'm about. I don't do the surface thing very well. So the depth is where, I don't know, it's where my happy place is and it's where your happy place is. So to have you come on, Boz, and just your experience, your background, your like, who you are, I mean, your resume is insane, your stories are insane, but more importantly, where your heart is. And the conversation that we're going to have today, which is like, you know, yesterday him and I were having a conversation. I was literally like, you know, tissue crying, all the things, Right? But that's who you are, right? And those are the things we actually want to talk about and what actually matters, especially in today's environment. And all the things are going. So thank you for being here and thank you for coming on and sharing with my audience all the things that actually matter. So let's go ahead and dive into all the things all about you and what you're going to be teaching everybody today.

Firstly, thank you for allowing me the presence of your time and energy. Catherine, you're awesome. For those people who don't know me, I'm Bass Porter. I'm a veteran. I spent nine years at the British Forces and then went through hell. Is there any way to speak about it? I went from homelessness of being a DJ to homeless to drug addiction. Recovered from all of that at this present moment in time and we're recording this, I've been nearly four years sober, so I haven't had anything for about four years, which is incredible. It has been a journey. But what I do now, and I'm very passionate about is helping people like Catherine and others reclaim not only their lives, but their self worth. What I realized in my journey was, quite frankly, everybody was going running circles to try and understand who they were at their core. My intention in doing this is basically to empower you to not to find yourself because we're always found, but to remember who you are. And what I found on my personal elevation in my journey was everybody's wanting something that they already have but don't know how to get access to it. The people that I truly help the best are the people who are willing to invest in themselves, right, and actually do the work. I can't make you do anything that you're not prepared to do or want to do. I can't force you to do something. But what I can do is point people in the right direction and say, this is what you want. This is the golden egg at the top of the hill. How are you willing to, are you willing to invest in yourself emotionally, mentally and physically? And also if I'm have clients and financially to get what you want, not from another coach, because I'm not that. I'm a guide and I go into the tunnel with you to extract the best version of yourself, whatever that looks like for yesterday. Prime example. You mentioned it earlier, Catherine, she needs to go someone to go into the tunnel with her and straighten her out in a very methodical, logical, but emotionally and caring way. Coaches don't necessarily do that. Most of them are service level. A true guide will go into the journey, into the, into the tunnel with you. Understand you have an inner standing of who you are and your objective. What I found was through this journey to create something I call a DMM Direct Decision matrix. And what that does is create an actionable plan. 52 weeks of the year, not just once, twice, but action steps. You can go deeper and deeper and deeper into, into doing what you truly want. It's the foundation that sets up not just your life and business, but your dreams, your aspirations, your goals, everything that people don't want to be talking about but know about. This gives you a step by step blueprint to actualize what it is you want. Is that making sense so far, Catherine?

Yeah, absolutely. And so what I'm excited about is that we're going to like start diving into more of what that blueprint is so they can get a feel for it. Because this is really intense work.

So the, the, the blueprint itself is remembering or coming back to who you are. And it starts with designing what it is you want, quite simply creating a goal, a result. And that result could be quite simple as I want to lose or go with something very simple. I want to lose 10, 10 pounds. That's great. But how do you do it? This is your weight and you put a weight in. I'm going to go something very simple, £180. So by Monday, next week, Tuesday next week, you want to be 170 pounds. Then we go, okay, what is it? My body mass? Your body mass is 4%, that's your body fat. How much weight, how much water retention is in that. So you start setting up methodically. But deeper than that, why do you want to do it? Reclaiming your decisions matter. So it's not just I want that result. You go into the emotional and mental component of why you want something. So I want it to regain my feel, my worth. Because if you feel something, you become it. The same as written is reality. What you write down, the psychological studies done about this, what is written becomes your reality. A lot of the gurus out there say write down your goals and write a letter to yourself. Now that works, but it doesn't work without a constructive blueprint or a plan. So when you reclaim your decisions, you're taking control back of the energetical aspects of your life. You're taking back control of your choices, the quality over quantity. So quality matters. The quality of your choice, the quality of how you get up in the morning, all of it matters. The common symptoms to this are quite simple. You have them written down here. Overwork, burnout, self doubt, imposter syndrome. Feeling unseen in relationships is a major one over commitment to people, pleasing any of them. Sound familiar? Maybe if they are right, shove me in the chat because I'd love to hear them. Once you start making space for yourself, these things always come up and these are the darker aspects of who we are. And you have in front of you the fight or flight response. Now your brain will go, oh my God, I can't do that. Oh my God. This won't happen. I must preserve myself. It'll also go into a place of dopamine addiction. This can manifest as doom scrolling, going out to the pub, drinking anything, not doing what you're supposed to be doing basically. And it gives you a dopamine addiction or both Dopamine hit to make your actions validated. You always have emotional memory. That emotional memory setting within you is the default. I'll just do that and I'll bury my head in the sand and hope for the best that people don't see me. That's. Don't. That will not work here. When you're busy and you go to Busyville, the next stops, Brokeville, they go in succession. You've got a busy ville, Brokeville, and then burnout ville, which is where everything collapses. You need purpose. You need direction. Knowing where you're going or your true north is the foundation of everything that you're building as an empire. So whether you're commanding millions of dollars or running a household or a family, this will work as long as you're aware of the science behind this. Because it's not magic. It's not wave a magic wand and hope for the best. It will move you. Period. How do I know that you're looking at my first client, me. Everything that I teach, everything I talk about, and people too, I've done myself. This isn't coming from a theoretical point of view. This is factual. The next part of this is where we start breaking down the cycles of awareness. Firstly, nothing is your fault. Not one thing other than your personal decisions are your fault. Your feeling is getting in your way. And let me readdress something now called mindsets. What if you can control your environment? Instead of having a limited set of a mindset, what about having a state of awareness, a state of being? Instead of a mindset, how about a mind state, an embodiment state that you are as a value and a role in your life that has to become. Because if it's an emotional awareness, a part of you, it has no option but to manifest in your life along with the choice and decision or result you're after. Internal validation versus external validation. You are trained and conditioned to look outwardly for what you truly are. Validation from friends, from social media, from status around you. What if you didn't need that? What if you could confidently step into who you are without. Without being afraid of it? Completely confident of moving forward into the life that you truly deserve? Key question here is if external validation didn't exist, how would you measure own worth? What would be the measure? The mark? You would measure it with the emotion. Will it be a physical thing? Would it be a mental thing? Would you rely on something internal rather than external? And if it is, what is it? It's that simple. Breaking the patterns of this awareness builds a foundation for what you want next. Next part of this is capturing a culture and capturing it. So the three step framework and value blueprint for this is recognize the narrative. What we mean by that is what story have you been telling yourself? What repeated things have you been justifying your actions with? I am, for instance, valuable. If. How about I am simply valuable, I exist because I am. There's a lot of affirmations that work passively. But what if there was a deeper way of doing it to cut out the noise, the chaos? What if you could set yourself up at a deeper level, not just in the morning, at night, not just in the daytime, but for the rest of your life. Specific results require specific actions. So it's not just the affirmation you're doing, it's you are embodying what you're going to become. Rebuilding small actions or rebuilding with small actions create massive momentum. And by rewriting the stories that you've already been told. For instance, as we said earlier, I'm not value at my only valuable when I achieve something. What if you were completely valuable and you were worthy of everything in your existence without any other validation? What if that was possible? Every day of a reinforcement, not just energetically, but physically, but emotionally and also mentally and spiritually, will start to redesign your life. The more you progress and elevate your story. I am not, I'm becoming. But already the more you reinforce that story and state next part of this is the practical tools. I will share a tool very shortly. Can I chuck something in the chat? Yeah, it's just a form, wherever it is. You know when you put things somewhere and they suddenly disappear? It's all good. There we are. So this is a quick form. You fill in. This is the DMM plan that I've been talking about. Fill it in, it'll go to email and that form there will start to create a momentum in your life. Quite simply, it drops the noise and it filters out all of the negative talk that you've been conditioned to take. The unaligned commitments, everything that you are now identifying with that's holding you back. This will illuminate so you can be aware of it. Next, you can then start doing morning rituals. These are simple acts of. For instance, when I get up in the morning, before I get out of bed, before I do anything, I'll spend about five minutes with myself. I'll have a glass of lemon and lemon water, as in a 8oz at least of water with a dash of lemon in it. That will soon wake you up in the Morning, I'll drink that and just set the edge of my bed. And I will spend time visualizing myself as the person I already am and as the person I'm becoming before I even get up. That isn't necessarily meditation. It's a visualized process where you're coming from subconscious into conscious and you're processing thoughts that you've been doing at nighttime. And you're realigning your physical body, emotional body, mental body and spiritual body. There is two. There are four. Three more. I won't bore you with them. Now. Physical alignment first. So keep your breathing going. That doesn't mean you have to sit there doing breath work and meditation. It means you consciously breathe into your body, into the space and cavity in your heart. Simple way of doing that is through the nose. And then breathe out. Do that 20 times at least. Fill your lungs up. Next. One of the most powerfulest words you'll get to say in the world is a two letter word. And it's a full sentence. No. Start saying it more often, but start saying it with intentionality, as in no. And without a follow up. Don't apologise for being you. So if someone says, can you just. No, I can't. It's that simple. The moment you start doing that intentionally, and I don't mean everywhere, but you raise your status in life.

What I love about that. Yeah. Is like Steve Jobs said, the thing he's the most proud of is all the things he said no to.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I love that it's a complete sentence. No, I, I say it. I just say, I decline.

I, I was, I was a yes person for years. And for. No. It wasn't until a couple of years ago really that I started to go, actually, I can't do that. But I, but first I was, I was following up with I can't do that because. And then it got no. And I just don't. I don't. I, I can't be bothered now. I don't need to give my excuses. Sabrina just said she was afraid to. I can't see that because my. There we are. She was, she was almost too afraid to say no.

Right.

But that's conditioning. Yeah, that, that is conditioned behavior. That isn't who you truly are. The moment you do say no. Game changer. Because you elevate your status. Everybody in the world's doing something for one single word. And that. Is that a status, how people view them in the outside world, to feel validated. I'm here asking you because I can't tell you anything. I'm asking you to validate yourself. Remember who you are. You're not somebody that bows down to other people's opinions. That's conditioned. You don't need to justify your belief system or your decisions to anybody.

Right.

Why would you. Why would you disempower yourself? As long as you're in integrity, I will follow it up with that. As long as you are in integrity and you're in alignment with who you are, nothing else matters. You can say no to the most powerful people in the world as long as you stand in your power. You are integrated integris. And you say no, I can't do that. Or whatever the sentence is. But no, just remember is that full sentence. You don't need to excuse yourself for your belief or for your own value.

Or apologize. There's no need to apologize for no. Like, I decline no.

What was the most powerless moment you had when you started to say no? Catherine, Just. I'm just curious.

The most powerful. Ay. It was when I gave myself permission to decline. Like that. Still to this day, it's. And I can't. I don't specifically recall, like, a moment, but it was definitely when I gave myself permission one. And I just got off a call with another woman. We were literally talking about how women are going around looking for permission. Right. So this is us giving you permission to say no. And not with any, like, malice, nothing like that. Just no. I decline. I choose no. And it doesn't like it. Not I can't or I don't have, like, stop with the excuses. Just. I choose no. And it's okay to choose that because I choose yes. And it goes back to. Which is really powerful. I just finished reading the book Let Them by Mel Robbins, and it's the whole, like, let them do their thing. Let them, you know, be upset about the thing, whatever. But let me. Let me choose me. You know, Boz, we were having, like, this is the theme of our conversation yesterday. Like, I get to choose me. I get to choose what this second half of my life looks like. I get to choose. And inside of that, I also get to choose to be a no to things that just don't work for me. Like, that's it. Right.

It's interesting you say that because you say give yourself permission as the one of the barriers or blocks people have.

Yeah.

Because they're so afraid to give themselves permission.

Right.

There's a reason that I wear this T shirt, this jump, this sweatshirt says, you are enough.

Right.

You don't need to give, no one needs to give you permission to be who you are. Otherwise you go into the success trap of validation. I must be validated to be somebody. News flash. And I'm going to keep it nice and clean because this is a live webinar and I don't want to swear on here. And that's just who I am. So I'm being very mind. I've done very well so far. You can know me very like, oh, wow. So you don't need to validate who you are, period. Before you are validated, you must recognize that not only that you're worthy of it, but you already are what you're becoming. Rumi said this the best what are you are seeking is seeking you. That isn't spiritual. Woo woo. That's just quantum physics. That's science.

So say that again because that was part of our conversation yesterday.

So what you are seeking is already seeking you.

That's pretty powerful. Because if that's true, if what we're seeking is already seeking us, then there's no more efforting. It literally is us being inside of now, just graciously receiving.

Exactly. And this concept, bear with me because this is going. I don't want to try and try not go down, not to go down a rabbit hole here. But if what is seeking you and you are seeking it, it means it's already here at some level and at some, some knowledge within you that the pathway to what you want is already being created. It's just the mental and physical time gap or the collapsing of time to get what you want and the lessons that you have to learn in order to become what it is you want. Because you can't receive anything if you're not a vibrational match to it. Right? Forget Law of Attraction, forget everything you think you know about that because that doesn't work without you being a vibrational match to it. And if you're not, you have to raise your vibration to it. It will not come down to meet you. You must raise yourself to it to meet it and then you can receive it. Wow. I was on a coaching call this morning with somebody and for the last six days since we last met, she was going through a transition is what I'm going to call it. And she didn't want to pick up the phone, ask for help. One of her blocks, one of her limiting beliefs is I don't want to ask. But the most powerful people in the world have got where they are because they had the courage to say, I don't Know everything. I need help. Can you help me do this? Can you help me connect with X, whoever that person is, in order to help me achieve this? But it's a specific ask, not a random. I just need some. I just need some help. Because that is just so vast. That's like me giving you a life manual and saying, go and help yourself. Right? The, the specific ask what you want unleashes the inner confidence, which is what's on the slide next. And that inner confidence then takes you on a journey. If you are ready to go on that journey and you want a live interaction with me and Catherine, and Catherine is a force of, absolute force of nature. I'm keeping it clean. You should be proud of me.

I am proud of you.

And you want personal coaching for those people who want to go to that level. We're happy to have that conversation. You get access to a community and much, much more going on there. What we've just discussed now is literally the outside of the dartboard and it isn't even touching or scraping the top of the iceberg. That's half an hour we've had. If this has resonated with you at any level, then I really suggest you come in to the next part of this because the downloadable is just the start of the journey. In just two days, we'll have a follow up question and answer where you can ask me and Catherine a bit of insight into how we do these things. Because Katherine's been on a hell of a journey. I've interviewed her on my podcast. I know.

But I had to go do the work. Like that's the piece that I think in having. I was at a mastermind this past week and we were talking about that, that like I didn't magically show up where I'm at. Like, it was dark and deep and I had to do the work. And again, it's not just about the knowing, the ontological. Like it was diving in and doing the deep internal, emotional, mental, emotional, physical, financial, spiritual work. Like all of it. And I had to do it with somebody who could guide me through the process because it was so deep. I, you know, was getting lost in all the things and, you know, somebody else looking from the outside to help guide me to come out through the other side. Whether it was through the grief of my husband's loss or pain, parenting or business or like all the things, right? Like there's. We can only see what we can see and that we have so many blind spots. And so when we have somebody who can have that 50,000 foot view perspective and go, hold on, like you can't see your way through the maze. Right. And okay, turn right, turn left so you can actually get out. Like that's that at least that's been my experience in doing the work over the last, in you know, several decades. Yeah.

Well you mentioned it just there. You took you several decades.

Yep.

The reason for that is because it's such, there's so many layers to go through. And what I found, I mean I've been on this, I've been doing personal development for, since before the I joined forces. But it was called something a lot different then. And when I came to the States, there were a lot of very watered diluted down versions of it.

Right.

And there's a lot of people that they say they can do something, but with the actualization of that is very different.

Yep.

To get real results takes self commitment, but for a, a bigger outlook and a good consultant, coach, mentor, whatever you want to call them, guide will be able to hold you in that outlook, hold you accountable for what you'll go into next, which is the transformation journey, the reclaiming, the self worth, the integration process, the awareness, not just the limiting beliefs, but your own value system.

Yeah.

And the rules around that. And then in implementing the energetical components, setting your life up by design for success.

Right. And I, I love that because Sabrina said on here, this is really powerful. And I, I feel like what she said is what I hear from so many people. And I'm sure you do too, boss. Like she said, I think mine would be I'm afraid to bother anyone with my needs. Oh my goodness. Yes. And she said the other thing is I don't want to be an inconvenience. How true is that? But here's the thing. You're worth it. Like you're worth it. And the second piece is like for me, like Sabrina, that was me and I can see like what had to get through to the other side for me was I needed to do the work so that I could be the woman that I need to be in order to accomplish what I'm here to accomplish, which is getting the, all the adoptable children in the U.S. foster care system adopted. But in order for me to be able to do that and to add the comms to people's bank accounts to make the impact that they're here to make, like all of that, I had to get myself sorted out to be the version of myself so that I could fulfill on the purpose that I'm actually here on the planet.

And it was unapologetically yes.

So yeah, please Catherine. No, Yeah, I just want her to get and for everybody. Because again Sabrina is not the only one. I'm not the only one who felt this way. Right. So I love that she put that down. It's like yeah, I did. I feel like I was an inconvenience for sure. Do I still have a little bit of that niggly in the back of my mind? Yeah, absolutely. I have to keep getting myself sorted out, you know and what calls me is the higher purpose of like what my purpose is. And there's like literally hundreds of thousands of children that are literally depending on me, like pulling my head out of my butt, going and doing the work. So to I. To be the person I need to be to do the things I need to do to get. Find them homes, you know, and have them have a future. Right. Like that's the thing that's calling me forward. So it's not, it's no longer about me being an inconvenience or me bothering somebody. It's truly is about like oh my goodness, we have got to get this done. Like this is no joke. So anyway, as I know, I love.

That Catherine and you know Catherine is her main mission is the adopted children and having them being adopted and insecure, housing and healthy and wealthy and all the. All of the following. What I'm doing for those people who don't know Catherine, I forgot to mention this is I'm actually building an institution with all this. So I'm taking all of my knowledge putting it back into the hands of congruently putting it back into the hands of an institution and putting meditation, energy, work, the. The things personal development, all these components, entrepreneurship, sales, etc. Etc. All in to the. The schools, to the systems that. I mean I've spent well over seven figures in the last five years and learning all this stuff.

Yep.

And I've most a lot of it. I was ripped off and I don't want people going through the same thing that I did because I can prevent that. I mean I've listened literally lost hundreds of thousands of dollars because what they said didn't deliver or they fell short and there's so many other reasons for it. But I don't want to see people like you and whoever's listening to this make the same challenges and mistakes that I've done that has set me back hundreds of thousands of dollars because I didn't know any better.

Yeah. Just distill it down to the pieces that actually matter, and then we'll move the needle. So here's what I love about this, is that I'm sure we've given you guys a lot to think about through this whole process, and we're following it up on Thursday as a part two, as an FAQ for you. And so I would love for you to noodle on all the things we talked about. Um, and I will. Obviously, this is being recorded, so you can go back and watch this again, and I'll share this with everybody to come back and let's have a lively conversation and ask Boz all the questions, all the things about doing this work and diving in. So, yeah, I'm really excited for Thursday's webinar that follows up on this and to have an actual dialogue with everybody about this and get their questions answered. So, as always, Foz, you're extraordinary. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your heart and your commitment and doing the work that you've done and now being the guide to help other people do the work that they, you know, they're committed to doing, for sure. To make the impact that they're here to make on the planet. So I love that. I love you. You're amazing. I can't wait till Thursday. This is going to be awesome. And for all of you, please come back on Thursday with your questions and reach out to us, you guys. Like, that's what we're here for. We're here that clearly you're here hearing this for a reason, at the right time, the right place. Reach out to us and, you know, so that we can obviously be a part of your journey of taking you or whoever you need to another level. And feel free to share this with anybody that you feel this would be relevant to. So thank you. You're amazing. I appreciate you. I love you, and I hope you all have an extraordinary day. Thank you for now. Okay, bye, everyone.

There we go. Thank you very much.