Growing Is Lonely: Here’s How High-Performing Leaders Handle It

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Am I ready to be sad? Chrissy just asked me if I'm ready to be sad and that is gonna be how we're gonna start this. Chrissy, if you wondering if I'm ready to be sad, where do you think I exist? Oh, no, Right, right, right. This to me so. But part of the reason is we talk about growth, we talk about professional growth, which is personal growth, which is all those other things. So sometimes that can be a very, very lonely place.

Yeah.

Who your people are now may not be who your people were yesterday or who they are tomorrow. Yes, it's a difficult thing to talk about, but we are gonna address that. And I've got a box of Kleenexes over there. Stay tuned.

She's the CEO, he's the marketing and operations guy.

If it's broken, you need the business fix.

Josh, do you have a word of the year? Like do you pick. You don't, you don't do any of that.

Do you have a word like Because.

Yes.

New year. What's your word of the year?

Command.

Command. So why is it command?

So it's moving into the space of not command. Like follow what I say. But command is in like my presence, my power, my purpose. So really taking the things and taking ownership of what I've been working on over the last few years and just moving forward.

But you're so good at putting things into those single words. Yeah, I'm putting good at putting them into a long explanation.

So like, so what's your paragraph?

Correct? So no, this year I like, one of the things I'm focusing on is where am I spending my time? How am I, how am I spending my time? And part of that is why we're talking about this this week, because I have an interesting fact. Studies on high achieving entrepreneurs could include us maybe depends on the day. It shows that their peer networks.

Yeah.

Change completely on average every two to three years. That's sad. I mean, it's tough because you think like there's some people that still hang out with their childhood friends. Yeah, I. Yeah. So, like, the people you start with are rarely the ones that you finish that journey with or you. You come along into the middle of that journey with. So, yeah, this. This is a difficult topic. It's a. It's a mental health topic. It's one that really kind of comes into it. I mean, we're constantly evolving. We're looking at our businesses.

Yeah.

We're learning new skills. We're chasing bigger goals. We. We need to make sure we're intentional about the rooms that we are in.

Very.

I don't necessarily. There's certain people that I spend time with where there's not much business value with it, but I want to spend time with these people. Additionally, though, I want to look at, like, hey, who are the people that I need to be hanging out with in order to keep the lights on for tomorrow? Who's the people that I can talk to about this type of stuff? When you spend time doing that, sometimes family, friends, and others get left behind because there is a strategic need. We work. I mean, as entrepreneurs, we do work 24 7.

Yes.

There's times you watch football, I get on a motorcycle. That's how we check out. I'm not necessarily working then, but we're.

Still texting each other going, hey, did you work on this?

Correct. You and I are texting each other about things like that. The other thing is too, is there's. There's that, like, if I'm out of the motorcycle and I stop someplace.

Yeah.

And I start talking with someone, oh, is this. Is this. Did I make a new business buddy? Maybe.

Yeah.

There's those things that are just always going through our heads.

Yes.

So with that. This is. Resiliency is a big piece to this.

It is.

How do you bounce back from realizing, hey, I have outgrown this, that or the other? And thankfully, there are people that are going to come along no matter what.

There are.

There are some that are just going to. They're just going to be good for you no matter where you're at. These are wonderful people to have. How do you, like, how do you cope with that emotional distance that you get with some of the growth and what are some of the signs that sometimes you need to be like, hey, I'm busy today, when you get that phone call from someone?

So I will say this topic. When you said, hey, I think we should talk about this, I was like, yes, let's do it.

And then you started thinking about it. Then you're like, oh, this is a.

Bad idea because it really hits close to home for me. It does. Because when you said the two to three years and one. Yeah, that's about right. And you know, even if we don't always say it out loud, I mean it's. Growth is exciting, but it can be lonely. And there are going to be moments as you're growing and you're moving into different rooms and you're experiencing different things that most of the people in your sphere are not going to experience it even when you come from a family business. Like I will say, like my relationships have changed dramatically in my family because I have grown in a lot of directions that my family wasn't interested in growing it. So this is, this is a social media post that I'm not going to share with my family.

No, I get, I get it. And not to interrupt, but no, my dad was part of a very large business and some of the things that I'm doing, there's not like it doesn't register with.

No, that context isn't there.

And it's, it's some of its time because he's, I mean he's, he hasn't worked in 20 some odd years. He was able to retire and he's enjoying life and doing so many amazing things. But there's that distance and there's that, there's this gut feeling that we all carry around and sometimes it is that it's. I don't want to say we're in this constant state of fight or flight.

But a little bit to some degree, yes. I mean we talk about the making of corporate athletes. So I will say, you know, that emotional distance that you get with people, it's real and it takes a toll. And so, you know, navigating it, yeah, it does require resilience. So how do we move forward? Well, let's talk about first why this happens. Because for me, one of the biggest things is my friends group started to change or people started to say, you're different. And I was like, what do you mean? And I had to go to therapy.

Let's talk about was that another ulcer or.

No, no, I didn't get an ulcer. But I mean there were a lot of tears, a lot of around it. So why relationships shift as you grow? Because, you know, as you grow you start asking different questions, you start making different decisions and you tolerate different levels of discomfort. Like, I mean, I had an ulcer in elementary school. I can handle a lot of stress. I mean as a business Owner, Absolutely. Handle a lot of stress. Your capacity to navigate uncertainty and deal with difficult situations, it, it naturally creates distance. So what's important to understand is that often people are projecting their limitations onto you and it's not about you. And that was really hard for me because when people would say, you're different, I hear you're. When it's really like you're different and I'm not, it's that part, the parentheses that you didn't see. So it's really about what your growth reflects back to them. It's risks they didn't take, it's challenges they didn't pursue, maybe decisions that they didn't have. And that can show up as jokes, it can show up as skepticism, guilt, or those subtle discouragement. Are you really going to do that? Yes, I am. Yes, I am. And over time, you're not careful, it really starts to weigh on you. So where are some of those signs where the relationship may be holding you back professionally? And I say professionally, I really just, just in general is probably a better way to put it. Here's some things that I've learned to pay attention to in part because I've done it wrong. So learn from me, people, please. If you are consistently downplaying your goals around someone, are you shrinking? I mean, Josh, I realized a few years ago with certain people and even in community stuff, I wouldn't tell people what I did. I wouldn't tell people what I was working on. Yes, I, I am the board chair of an organization that has a $52 million budget. And then I would sit in another room with, in another organization where they had a million dollar budget and they would just look at me and go, do you know how to handle a budget? And instead of going like, yes, btfo. I would go, I think so. I think so. Really? I think so. Chrissy, That's. Yes. So, but I mean, it's, it's important because like, if you're consistently downplaying things around you, if you're shrinking, if you, you feel energized before you see some people and drained afterward, it's information. And it's not saying that those individuals are bad people.

No, not at all.

Not at all.

Never.

No. And it doesn't mean that some of them I still absolutely love and would do anything that they would ask me. I'm never going to talk to them about my business. I'm never going to talk to them about some of the things I'm struggling with anymore. But it just means that the relationship may no longer support the version of who you are or who you are becoming. It doesn't mean you're throwing them away. It doesn't mean you're cutting them off toxicity boundary. That's a different conversation. But it means that it may be time to exit them from your personal board of directors. So maybe this isn't the person that I go to when I'm saying, hey, I'm thinking about doing something different. And they're like, well, you always do something like, don't do that.

The head motion that you had with that, trust me.

Do you think maybe I experienced it? I will say too, like, there's a cost of maintaining relationships that no longer serve your vision. There really is. That no longer align with your direction. And it's not just emotional, it's mental energy, it's self doubt, it's hesitation. It's again, shrinking yourself to stay connected. And I will tell you, I mean, let's just lay down on the therapy couch right now. I have issues with abandonment. I have huge ones. I lost a husband to suicide. I'm going to have issues with abandonment. So I know that I've got to pay attention to that. But I mean, the truth is, is that every hour that you spend justifying your growth to someone else just to make sure that they still like you or still believe in you, is an hour you're not investing in becoming the leader your business or the leader your family or the leader that you actually need. So I am working really hard to not shrink myself so that I can step into the future that is truly destined for me. That, I mean, I'm. I know it sounds really big, but it's, it's true.

Got all meta.

Here it is. It's like, okay, here we go. But. And because of that, here is where I am at. I. We talk about, you know, your friend group changes. My friend group has changed dramatically. And as I start to think about like I want to, I'm almost like teary about some of it because there have been moments where I was stepping into something and I was so excited and I'm explaining it to, to different people and they literally looked at me and said, we can't be friends anymore because I no longer understand you. I'm like, you no longer understand me? You canceled on me this one day because you needed to do this thing. And I'm like, I was going to be interim CEO for an organization in the oil and gas services space, that I was going to take out a receivership that I did. And I'm Going to go play Landman for a year. And you're mad because I missed lunch with you one time. Like, I. My career is. This is. This is really cool.

This is big.

This is huge. No understanding of it. So what I will tell you is when that happens, you got to grieve that loss.

Yep.

You've got to deal with it. You can't just be like, whatever. No, you got to deal with it. Because if you don't deal with it in that moment or soon after, it's going to weigh on you. But I will say, too, it's really important to have some type of. Whether it's professional, peer group, or organization of different people that think like you or are thinking in spaces bigger than you, it's really important to do that. So for me, masterminds, forums, CEO groups, trusted peers are the people who normalize that growth, pressure and big thinking.

Right?

Yeah. So as I'm moving, as I'm growing, I'm moving into other rooms and going, okay, these are people that can talk to me and aren't going to flinch when I start talking about a risk.

That is the biggest point to it is so many people see just the risk, and we are inherently more risk welcoming.

Exactly.

Otherwise, we never would have started this.

We wouldn't do the things that we do now. I mean, what I love about those types of peer groups is they don't get uncomfortable when you talk about ambition. You can't be in that space. Here's the other thing I will say is you've got to be willing to walk into those spaces and be confident in who you are and say, I don't know everything. But I'm also not going to shrink because all of these people are way bigger than me and better than me. That's okay. You want to be in rooms. I never want to be the smartest person in the room ever, because then.

I've stopped growing podcast. So you're willing.

I stop it Not. Okay. So, I mean, and the other thing I would say, too, is you're not replacing old relationships. You're balancing them with people who kind of pull you forward. Yep. So, and I will say there's a. Before. I got one more thing before we go to operations.

Keep going. You're doing good.

Okay. I want to talk about how to kindly address that drift with old friends, because this has been painful. All right.

It's huge.

It is. And it's. It's. If you don't hear anything else in this podcast, I want you to hear this and maybe It's a couple things Josh says.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Here's what I want you to hear. You don't have to burn bridges to honor your growth.

Nope.

No. Sometimes the kindest thing that you can do is to allow the relationship to evolve or naturally loosen. If you had lunch with this person every week and it is no longer. You feel like you're a hostage. Nothing is happening. You know what? How about you widen that gap? You know what? Maybe I'm really busy. My schedule really transitioned some of my friend groups, too, because I was so consistent, and I was. I'm always the person that's going to show up. And then I realized I'm the person that's showing up, but it's not serving me. So if. If you can allow those things to naturally loosen without blame, without drama, you don't know everyone. Access to every version of you. And that was something that was really hard for me to start learning, was that not everybody deserves my full story. And that's okay.

Ooh. I. That's a. That's an interesting way to look at that. That really is.

Yeah. And you can love people deeply. This is for those of you in family business. Here you go. You can love people deeply and still choose to not let them shape your future.

Yes.

Agreed. So whether you're in a business or not, like, remember that. And being resilient is really trusting that growth is going to cost you some familiarity, but it's also going to give you alignment, clarity, and momentum in return.

You said clarity.

I did. I did.

If we don't rank for that keyword, I'm going to be very upset.

I will be, too. And I mean, you just got to remember, too, you know, growth doesn't mean leaving people behind. It's really about choosing yourself. And we're not going to leave ourself behind in the process.

Wholeheartedly agreed. Now, everything that you said here was. I truly. It's. We'll just copy and paste that into mine, and we're good.

No, I mean, so that's. I've been. I've been on the feely side. I know that you're going to give me some steps. I mean, I can rattle some off from resilient operating system, but I want to know what are you doing on some of this? It's.

To me, first off, it's tough to process that realization.

Yeah.

And then sometimes, like, it. It's not always obvious because there's text messages that I get from people where I'm like, oh, didn't see that one. Or pretend. I guess I would say pretend I didn't see that one. And I guess I would say I used to feel horrible about it.

Yeah.

And now I'm kind of like, okay, there's some people that I realize I just have absolutely nothing in common with.

Yeah.

Like, you show up for. And you show up maybe for that conversation, and you're like, how's it going? And they start talking, and you're like. Like before they're four sentences in, you're thinking, oh, God, this was a mistake.

It is. I've been there. Yeah.

And it's. It's one of those things that I've found. Typically I do it two or three times before I'm like, okay, we need to start. We need to start moving here in a direction. Because it's tough to come to that realization.

Yes.

Where you're like, oh, I have moved on from this. I am no longer here. And it's. You can feel that you're not present just because you're not there.

You're.

You're. Your mind is someplace else. Your brain is someplace else. And you just don't.

You just don't feel it or you get angry. Like, there have been moments in a few.

Like, I was trying to avoid saying.

That Chrissy is trying to make new friends. Right.

Right.

So we're in. I mean, and I will say this too. As you find new peer groups, there are certain groups that you're going to have affinity for. Like, as you get into certain spaces and net worth, it makes sense to kind of move around with people that are in similar situations to you. But just because they're in a similar situation to you on their balance sheet doesn't mean that they do the same things that you do. So great. Case in point. We had a holiday dinner. My husband was like, I need you to go. It's husbands and wives. And I'm like, mother, okay, fine, I'll go. And so I had to sit in this group, and it just all of a sudden. And again, family love my family. Love them, adore them. But the big conversation was, how do you get your kids to travel sports on time? That was the corner of the room that I was supposed to talk to. And so we got in the car.

You just punch them.

I said, exactly.

And I'm like, drag him to the car.

Done. And I wanted to say, like, I don't know what you're talking about, because we don't live our lives that way. And even if I did have that capac I've outsourced how some of that happens in our lives. So I want to talk about business or I want to talk about something else. And it was like, no, no, no, no. You need to go over to that corner. And I was like, I love you, Steve, if I ever have to go to this room again. But it was staying not. And it wasn't the, like, I can't stand these people. They were very nice people.

Wonderful people.

Nothing in common.

Yeah.

And so I am happy. I'm like, so again, that was last year. This year, he's like, do you want to go to the holiday dinner? I was like, do you remember how it felt?

It's like, do you want to sleep on the couch?

We will not be. We will not be going to that holiday dinner.

It's funny. I get. I get text messages from some old friends.

Yeah.

And so many times it's like, hey, show up to this event that we're doing.

Yeah.

And I go there, and it is people. I'm looking around that I'm like, I have absolutely nothing to say no to most of these people. And they'll come up and be like, what kind of beer do you want? And I'm like, I don't even drink.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's another one. We should probably talk about some point.

In the podcast and then when your.

Lifestyle choices are so different.

Right. I mean, the lives are. The interests are just everything about the life is different. And you're like, oh, this is. This is painful. This sucks.

Or you feel like you've walked into a time capsule because that happened in the last.

Oh, yes, it has. It has. And the other. The other piece to that is then, too, is what's tough about that is, like you said, you kind of have to mourn that friendship because you're like, I've lost this. It's because I'm in a different place now, and I'm in a better place now. But instead of them being in a better place, you're being in a better place. I guess.

Yes.

But it's the same type of mourning. It is just because of the fact what you had and what felt so good at the time is no longer there. And that's tough to deal with. The thing that I have found that, like, for me, it's looking at the. And it's a big part of the reason why we do this podcast. I'm looking at, like, I have some skill gaps. How I present information to people could be one of them. We talked about that a little bit. Earlier, before the show, where I'm like, I sent this email and it was one sentence. I like most of Chrissy's emails, like, when they get sent, they're short, they're succinct to the. They're to the point, but they're pleasant. Um, like, I've, like, thought many times about starting my emails. Hopefully this email finds you before I do things of that nature.

Yeah.

Right. So to me, it's. I look for, like, who has skills that I don't.

Yeah.

That I can learn from. Who has. And it's. Once again, this isn't like. I mean, you have many skills that I don't. And this is not me trying to ride your coattails. No, this is me trying to learn.

We're learning from each other.

And you said the same thing I loved when you said about the balance sheet could be different. The businesses could be different. Our businesses are completely different. Our balance sheets, God, I hope they're very different, especially with the number of employees you have.

Yes, they are.

Good. Good, good, good is. If they weren't, I'd be worried. But.

And I'd want to know what you're doing.

So.

Yeah, we'd be trading other things.

Right. So to me, when. But we still have. We identify these skills that we both have that we both see things differently.

Yes.

And once again, it's about. It's identifying that gap that you have. And we are looking to surround ourselves with people that have these things that we don't.

Yes.

And the thing that I love about this is. It's not a stretch because this is the thing that you should be doing when you hire people.

Yes.

Find the people in your business that do the things well that you don't.

Yes.

Too many people hire similar people to them. And I see it sometimes where two other people. I mean, look, I should not be trying to always get in the room with the. With a Forbes 100 CEO. Not the right room for me. In the same sense, though, to shoot a couple of levels above where I'm at.

Absolutely. You should. Yeah.

Because you can be in those rooms. We talk about it, too. To put it in the podcast perspective, when you're a guest on someone's podcast, if you have 100 followers, don't email Joe Rogan. No. If you have 100 followers and someone else has a thousand followers, pretty good chance you're going to get on their podcast.

Yeah.

But once again. So there's that balance. Because there's something that can be gained from everyone. What sucks is, is when you realize that you're in a relationship where there's not much to be gained from it.

Yeah.

And it's not that. It's not that relationships are transactional.

No.

I love. We both have talked about Scott Galloway before, and he says you should never keep a scorecard in a relationship.

No.

Because you're always going to be disappointed.

And I agree 100%.

But, you know, if there's give and take.

Yes.

And there should be both. The other thing to me is the, like, I talk about finding the how and when. You're looking at people. I mean, find. Find those right. People that are in your industry that may have adjacent things that you can learn stuff from that can work from there again, too. What the difficult part is, is as you grow, is like, for me, setting some of the boundaries.

Yes.

You have a way that you can softly set boundaries. You can tell people like, hey, I'd love to sit and talk, but I've only got 20 minutes. You can do that in a way that is pleasant for people.

You could do that, too.

I've gotten better about it, and I've learned that from you because to me, it's like, I'd be like, you got 20 minutes. Go. Just because of the way I am. My brain says, we've got 20 minutes. I need to let that person know that we have 20 minutes. So I say, we've got 20 minutes. Start.

Yeah.

Took me some time to realize that's not necessarily the way to do it. And plus, I would let a lot of people that would before, they'd be like, hey, I put time in your calendar. And I'd be like, I don't have time for that. Because there's nothing to be gained from either one of us by that.

Yeah.

And I would realize that. They wouldn't realize that. The other thing is, is there's. There's certain areas where there's people that I hang out with that I want to spend time with that I just have put a no business context on.

Yeah.

We're going to talk about dirt bikes. We're going to talk about motorcycles. We're going to talk about mechanical things. We're going to talk about sports. We're going to talk about those things. And I realized that I need to shut 90% of my brain, because that's what 90% of my brain is dedicated to, his business. I need to go to the fun part of my brain, which the business is fun part. But I need to go to the. I need to go to the. The non. Business fun Part of my brain. The other thing, and I always tell people this, and I know I shouldn't say this because we're recording this at like 12:43 in the afternoon. I realize I am absolutely useless between 11 and to my brain.

Just know that's what we record most of the podcast.

Right. It typically is. But I mean from. I typically like lower end things. If I have a meeting that I know I need to be super sharp for, guess what? That's first thing in the morning.

Oh, gosh.

Yeah, boy. Hit me up early. 4 o' clock in the afternoon. No way.

4 o' clock in the morning. I got you.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe that's. That's when we should start recording. So. Yeah, I like things that may be energy drain, raining. I schedule for those times where I'm already just. I'm already sapped. You're gonna get what's left because there's a piece to that.

Yeah.

The other thing is, is digital rules. You would not believe the number of contacts on my phone that are muted.

Absolutely.

There's eight or 10 that can get through anytime, any day, any place, anywhere. Because I'm, I'm excited and I want to hear from those people. There's other ones where I'm like, maybe not. I'll get to that in the morning. That's important enough that I'll talk to them in the morning. I don't need to send them a text at 11:30 at night when they sent me theirs.

No. Same thing with emails. Like there's depending on when I send stuff, I put it in the parentheses. I do not expect a response anytime soon. I'm just sending this to get it out of my inbox.

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I'll give you a few seconds to go to the website while we get ready to get back to the show. I just gave that advice to someone this morning about something else. When it comes to emails. Was talking with them and they Said, yeah, they're like just the number of emails that I have to handle in a day. And I said, what do you look at first thing when you come in? Should like emails. And I said, don't look at them until 9 o'. Clock.

Yes.

Do your thing.

I learned that from you.

Yeah. Do your thing from 7:30. I don't even open my Gmail for a couple hours. Look at that later. That's stuff that other people want from me and I will get it done.

Exactly.

But when I need to be super sharp, I'm going to do my stuff. I'm going to do my things. This is, it's interesting because this is. In some ways it's therapeutic because for, I know, for me to hear it from you, it's nice to hear. Yep. There's going to be people that you're just going to have to mourn.

Yeah.

You're just going to cut them off and it sucks.

And they may be people that did a significant amount of life with you and that's 100%. Yes.

And that's difficult and it sucks. And it's part of the reason why I wanted to record this too is because as business owners, we occasionally need to hear from other business owners that this sucks.

Yeah.

Because it does.

And it's normal.

It's like perfectly normal.

Growth is normal. Outgrowing people is sad, but it's normal.

It's perfectly normal. It is, it's, it's, it's your. Yeah. Is a such a tough thing to deal with.

Yeah.

But, yeah, it's perfectly normal. It is the cycle of life as an entrepreneur that is wanting to grow their business. Is anyone even that's grown. I mean, there's people that grow their careers and do the same.

It's the same whether you grow your careers. You could change. I mean, you move into a different tax bracket. You move, you move, you move to a different place.

Yeah.

You move regionally and it's different. So it's just, it's part. Change is part of life. Growth is part of life.

You had an interesting discussion point on the difference between personal loyalty and professional alignment.

Yes. So you can be personally loyal to someone and still recognize they're no longer professionally aligned with where you're going.

It's tough. And the fact, I love the fact that you put it that way because that is a tough thing to hear. We, yes, every single one of us knows this deep down inside. We all know this.

We do.

But it's the thing that we don't.

Want to admit Loyalty is about care and history. Alignment is about direction.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's realizing, hey, I shouldn't have that second cookie. I know it.

That's a very good point.

I, I don't. I, I know this.

Yeah.

But I need someone to tell me.

I do.

Loneliness at the top. It's common.

Yes.

But manageable.

Yes.

What do you do to manage this serenity now?

It is. Yeah, that's it. So I would say it's manageable when you build intentional spaces to be seen and understood. So a couple of years ago, I had to pursue a new, like, in essence, a new friend group. I had to find people that could align with where I was. I mean, 10 KSB was great, scalerator was great. And then as I started moving into more national spaces, it was okay. What are the other places? I mean, I have an organization, I have a group of. There's 10 of us, 10 women. We all own businesses and we talk about everything. But being able to find that context of that group was really important. So I would say, you know, you're not lonely when you're intentional in who you're pursuing in relationships and friendships, and you've got to do that. And if you're not, if you're not married or your spouse does not have a good understanding of how to navigate the business or how the business works or what the pressure is, it's really important that you find a friend group that you can lean on because there are some spouses mine does not. Like, we can share and it's perfectly fine. But there are some where they get nervous about the business. They get, you know, you get concerned about payroll, and then they're like, oh my gosh, what's going on? I mean, that said, I'm married to a day trader, so there are moments where I get nervous and he's like, oh, we're fine. So, like. But it's dialogue. So finding those other people, whether it's entrepreneurs, organization, whether it's being an alum of 10,000 small businesses or going into. I mean, there's so many organizations. There's ypo, there's, there's eo, there's, there's Vistage, there's the ones that are cheaper, like gobundance, it just kind of depends. Like, there's so many of them. Find a group, find some friends.

Find friends.

Find friends. And I don't care. Like, some people are like, I don't want to pay for my friends too effing bad right now. Yeah, no, you gotta make them. Yeah, because you're gonna. It's not that you are. You are paying to be in an organization that can help professionally develop you so that you can make friends. Nobody says you gotta be in there forever. I mean, there are a couple organizations that I. I paid to be in so I could build a network, and now I'm not in them anymore. But those friends are still there, still traveling with them three, four times a year.

You're not renting them.

I'm not renting them. We meet every week in a chat to talk to each other. Like, that is. That is alignment and intentionality and finding a friend group that pushes me.

Yep. No, I totally get that. For quick, actionable steps.

Yes.

One to me, audits your five. Who are the five people that you spend the most time with? Are they helping you or hurting you? I mean, and you just have to look at that, like, do I leave that room?

Yeah.

Like happy or.

Exactly.

That's the technical term.

I love that. Ooh. All right. Mine would be stop taking advice from non experts.

Yeah.

So when your friend group doesn't have the capacity or the understanding of the things that you need solved, you either need to go pay somebody to do that or find more friends.

Yep.

Okay. Take advice from people who have successfully achieved what you're trying to achieve or in process of doing it with you.

Yes.

Because going together is great.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Did you just have this hiccup? Nope. You will.

Yeah, that's it. Is this normal? Yes, it is. I just had that conversation yesterday with this group of women. I'm like, this is what I'm dealing with. They're like, congratulations.

I'm like, oh, I don't want to deal with this.

I don't want to deal with this.

I don't want to be a pirate. Invest in your network, because if you don't guess what, it's like anything else, if you don't invest in your marketing, if you don't invest in your whatever. Your network is the most important thing that you can invest in, because these are the people that will. Some of them are the ones that will write you checks. Other ones are the ones that when you are on the office floor crying, that you can text and be like, hey, not feeling so good about this. And they're going to text back and be like, get your ass up off the floor. We got to do this.

Exactly. And I'd say, manage that. Drift kindly.

Yes.

Yeah, you. If you need to spend less time with that old friend, be kind but firm, because growth is really your priority.

Yep. If someone is like, how do you handle someone who constantly, like when you say, hey, I'm doing the thing, they're like, oh, you're doing that. How do you handle that?

Oh, I've had that experience recently. So I would say when someone projects fear onto your goals, the kindest thing you can do is not to let their fear become your ceiling.

Smile and nod and smile.

Thank you.

And yeah.

And you can love people and still outgrow the limits they place on you. I love that.

Yeah, yeah, that's. That. That's a key.

Yeah. So, Josh, what's the single biggest operational investment you can make to immediately access a higher quality peer group?

Intention. So many people. Just hang out. Find people that have skills you don't. Find the people that are where you want to be. Floating. Get you nowhere.

Yeah.

Paddle the boat.

Yes. Reach out to people that scare you a little. Ask them to lunch. Ask them for coffee. Ask them for 30 minute virtual coffee.

Is that how we ended up talking like, this guy's scary? Speaking of being scared, next week we are talking about civility in the workplace. So this is going to be a Chrissy only. No.

Civility. Civility is dead.

Yes, that all being said, strategically, pick your environment, move yourself forward, pick yourself up. Find the people that'll help you do that. If you are looking for people to do thatbusiness fix podcast.com. send us a message. We will be part of your tribe. Would be honored to do that. Reach out to one of us on the social medias. All the social medias. Send us DMs everywhere. Yes. Yeah, we are. Well, at least Chrissy is a review and subscription. We would love that from you. As always, do us a favor, take care of yourself. If you can, take care of someone else too, we will see you very, very soon.