Overcoming Challenges: Peter Krastev

This is the Chris Project, where we discuss mental wellness, self-awareness, and mindset with entrepreneurs and experts. Set your perceived ideas and biases aside and let's go on our journey for yourself, for your family, for the world.

Welcome to another episode of The Chris Project. I am your host, Christian Brim. Joining me today is Peter Krastev. Did I get that right? Yeah, yeah.

Close enough.

You're good. Right. Peter, welcome to the show.

Thanks, Christian. It's a pleasure to be here.

Well, why don't you start with telling us who you are? And what you do.

I'm Peter, and my name is from Bulgaria. I'm from Bulgaria. I'm a fitness coach, and I have an online fitness coaching practice. My journey started in the UK about 11 years ago. I moved to the UK when I was 24, and I had a big journey of personal growth and many, many obstacles, which led me to opening my coaching business, and now this is my dedication and my life on daily basis. I work with people, mostly men, who just need to now transform their body and their habits. I usually have adult audience of like over 40s, serious people who've achieved a lot in life but for some reason failed to achieve on the fitness side, which is very common. My job is helping people transition into that healthier lifestyle and achieve some goals that they aspire to, you know, to have. That's me in a nutshell.

So, so what, what brought you to the UK?

I had a very tough life when I was in Bulgaria. We couldn't pay the bills and I was like, I was a stepfather for a kid. I had a relationship that was extremely toxic. My girlfriend needed a lot of medical care for some health conditions, and I desperately needed money. I could barely pay the bills. I had no chance of paying for any of the other things that we needed money for, and going to the UK was an escape route for me. Opportunity opened up to go to just to a car wash And I took it. I took all the money I could find. It was €500 that my mom gave me somehow, and I bought the ticket. I left the remaining of the money to my girlfriend so they can pay the bills whilst I figured things out for a little bit. I took €10 in my pocket and left for the UK, and that was 14th of September 2014, and that's when my life journey really started. So I went to search for an exit, for money, either to get out of this relationship but get out in the right way, to have the money to support the kids, support her. And I wanted to be just a man. I just wanted to be not the guy that gives up on people, but the guy who does what he said he's gonna do. I know the UK was simply the only option I had, the only option, and I took it.

And yeah. Was that successful?

I'm here today, so I'll say yes, but filled with multiple major failures. What I aspired to do, the reason I went there for, to make the money and to provide and fix her health issues. I managed all that on that end. At the end, she broke up with me because of another guy. So that was a bit of traumatic experience. And it taught me a lot because to achieve what I had to achieve, it was no joke. I actually had to live in a garage without electricity, without water for 18 months. I had some days on the streets. All the time I was very alone. I mean, anyone who met loneliness, the pure form of it, knows what it is to live with it every single day. I had to cry a lot and struggle a lot, and I survived somehow, which gave me a lot of strength. At the end of it, I uncovered something in me that I didn't know it's there. I didn't know I am able to go through so much pain and discomfort. Prior to this experience in my life, I was quitting 100th of the length. On step 1 of 100, I was quitting because I thought that's too much pain. My life before that was absolute joke compared to what I had to go through. And then going through such a huge struggle on my own, achieving on my own, achieving everything I said I'm going to accomplish against everybody else's belief, in times when nobody supported me, nobody believed in me, that gave me superpowers in a way. Then the logical outcome was I'm going to use all this to build my own life now, and nothing can stop me ever again.

I, I love that story. I would say, however, that those experiences didn't create the superpowers. They revealed the superpowers that were already there.

Maybe. Yeah, yeah, something like that.

Yeah, yeah. Um, I'm reading, uh, a book. Uh, I haven't quite finished it, but I've already bought multiple copies to share It's called What Happy People Know by Ken Baker, and he's a doctor of psychology, entrepreneur. He founded Canyon Ranch, which you're probably not familiar with it, but it is like one of the preeminent health and mental health spas in the world, in Arizona. And he talks about— he defines optimism as being— I'm paraphrasing here, but basically, you know, be— being at the worst or going through a bad situation. And learning the lesson that, that's, that's to be learned. That's the definition of optimism, not being defeated by those things, but learning from those things. Right. And that sounds like what you learned more about yourself in that situation rather than being defeated by it.

That's it, yeah. And now moving forward, you expect that failures will just keep coming and struggles will continue coming, but you grow through them. If that didn't kill me, then— Yes. What is going to kill me? Like, pretty much nothing. But I wanted to end my own life, which is the irony in it, so many times.

Yes, it was painful.

Yeah, I was in that garage there and crying in the bed, and I had a surgery just done on me, a hernia surgery, and I had to travel with the bicycle on the next day after the surgery from the next city. And I lied in the garage without electricity, without water, and that thing was even getting infected at some point. And I had rats behind my bed, and like, I was like very tough mentally at that stage. And yeah, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't take that route of just quitting because I still had my parents live back home. Although disappointed, they still were my parents, and I couldn't imagine my— I had a very brutal thought, so it might be triggering, but I was imagining my mom on my grave, and I was like, no, I can't do that to her. I was willing to go through all the pain for that. Yeah. And now I'm thinking like So that's so stupid. I, I feel like I could now take 10 times more than what I did. I don't want to, definitely don't want to go there, but man, we have, we have hell of a lot in us.

Yeah, and, and, you know, I, in, in his book, he references— I don't remember the individual's name, but was one of the people that survived the concentration camps, and, um you know, how even in that, like, I can't, I can't imagine your situation and I can't imagine being in a concentration camp. But being able to see the good, the beauty, the love, the lesson to be learned, rather than being overcome by that darkness, is what it is to be human. Right? I mean, like, that's— because pain happens, fear happens. There's no way escaping it. But it's how you react to it that defined you.

I think you're right, in, in a very deep, profound way.

So what, what was the point? What was the turning point where things like— you, you started to learn the lesson? Where, where was that?

Well, the moment I exited the relationship, that's probably the time when I started believing in everything, that everything is possible when I have that lesson learned, because that was very quickly after the moment I achieved— I paid for a lot of things that I had to pay, and that took me years to save this money. I kind of was already successful, and my expectation was that, so my girlfriend's gonna be happy now and we're gonna be together, and she might even move to me or me to her and stuff like that. But at that moment, she decided to show me that she's already with another guy. Ended up— I got angry for like 5 minutes, and then I realized I have superpowers. And there was a few other moments later in life which certainly have helped me and shape who I am today and keep helping me moving forward. One of them was I started a business, just the next endeavor that I had in my life to make money, a business with my best friends that fell apart. And I personally learned for myself that I can't give my future in somebody else's hands. Most people were quitting, and I wasn't willing to take that risk of somebody quitting on himself whilst being with me and me depending on him. So I decided to bet only on myself, and that's why my coaching practice is run by me. Everything that I do is run by me. I can't have 50-50 partners. I can only partner with people if I'm not dependent on them, and that, that's one big—

Do you see any parallels between your partner in the, in the failed business and your girlfriend? Is there, is there any connection in your mind between those two relationships?

I don't think so. He still became my best friend after that. I mean, we had problems and I don't know if I can connect them. Maybe the one thing that is— I can see it persists in every relationship, not just between them, but with my parents, in anyone else I meet. There is a little edge, a specific edge that you need to obtain if you want to be successful in what you want to do. And most people associate that with craziness, with insanity. They don't get it. And I think I learned to be okay with that, and I don't expect them to get it. I never go again to explain my business to somebody who loves me and is dear to me because I love them and I want them to support me. I want them to understand. I'm fine with people not supporting me. I'm fine with taking the lead and saying, just don't stay in my way. This is what I do. People don't get it.

And you define that characteristic as— well, other people see it as crazy.

Yes, for sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. But it sounds like what they call crazy is really you taking radical ownership of your results. Yeah.

And in reality, I'm chasing goals that are way beyond me. And people can't understand that. Most people, if I'm speaking with you, you probably see through me and you're like, yeah, 100%, I get it. I don't know why other people don't see it, but we're entrepreneurs. We by nature are like that. I'm not trying to compare myself with you by numbers we've made or anything like that, but our nature is like that. We get that you want, you want to achieve something great, bigger than you. Yes. And you're going to have to change, you're going to have to grow, and people can't see that through happening with you. Even though they've seen me change in the past 10 years, now they, they have certain belief that what I start doing, I kind of make, and I I will achieve. With the years and the experience, they tend to believe a little bit more, but it's never 100%. There's always a huge amount of doubt in people's minds, like, you're not that guy, how are you going to do that? And my mind is, I'm not that guy, and this is the journey, I have to become that guy. Yes.

So yes, yeah, I— yes, I think that's, that's probably one of the most profound insights I had in my journey was that the business was limited by me and that if I wanted the business to grow, I had to grow. And that was very profound for me. Yeah, it's simple, but just understanding that. It's because— because I, I think I got to the point where the business wasn't growing, and I went back to those default behaviors of basically blaming other things, like blaming, uh, my partners, or blaming my employees, or blaming my customers, whatever. But not looking in the mirror and pointing the finger at myself.

Yeah, I was going to say exactly that when you continued speaking.

I'm sorry, well, you say it differently. You can say it in Bulgarian. No, please don't. I won't understand you.

But I was going to say that exactly this is the moment which I already had A couple of times when I'm stuck in the business and I'm like looking for answers for better strategies, better solutions, and nothing helps. And then you realize it's you. You have to level up. Yes. Put in the work, personal growth, become better.

Yes.

What's missing?

I think that's not necessarily like, I have to learn more skills or learn how to do something that I don't know how to do, although sometimes that is the case. But for me, the biggest transformation was being able to rely on others. Like, at some point in any business, no matter the personal growth, there's only so much that one person can do, right? And so you, you have to be able to engage others in the vision and let them do what they do best. And that also was a challenge for me. Frankly, I think it was a lot of hubris. I think I thought I could do anything or learn anything or master any skill. And so if it was a problem to be solved, my initial default was, well, I'll figure it out. It has become very transformative to find someone else that's better equipped to figure it out for me.

And you're not speaking just about hiring staff members to do some job, but you also— I feel like you're mostly referring to actual partners.

Team members? I think it doesn't really matter. I mean, it depends on the situation. And the example that I'm referencing is employees, but I think it could be a partnership. It could be a coaching relationship. You know, like, I've been with my business coach for 3 years now. I could not have done what he did for me, right? Like, so I don't think it's as important what that relationship is as it is the intent behind trusting someone else to do something for you.

Yeah, that was very transformative for me too. And hiring coaches, paying for that mentorship and support, it was a massive fast track for me more than once. And then there's always like two sides of the coins. Unfortunately, I met the point sometimes where I solely rely on that person to solve my challenges and my problems and just take me magically to the next level. And then they come and they can't. And that, that realization was like a cold bucket thrown at me with water, right? Yes. Because I was having all my hopes put into this coaching and them coming and they're being great, but there was that little element of, first of all, learning the strategy, systems, and methods and mindset that they have, applying them, but then making them blend in with my personality, my dreams, my, my vision. I make them my own so they actually can start working, because when they're not you, they only work to a certain extent, at least in my experience, when it comes down to marketing and sales and branding. When you start applying somebody else's vision on your brand, on your business, and it becomes one— like in my case, it became one little ugly thing. It made more money, but I didn't see that as my, my thing. Yes, I almost felt like a foreigner in my own business. So now going back to the drawing board, how can I express myself through this and find my own systems using the logic that they taught me? How can I invent some, some new way of, of doing things?

Yeah, I, I think that— I, I think it's important to understand that even though you bring someone in to, uh, help you solve a problem, that, that is not an abdication of the responsibility for it. So it's still my responsibility to make sure that thing gets done. Because otherwise you fall into that rescue trap that Dr. Baker references in his book. He talks about the traps of like victimization, you know, seeing yourself as a victim, which we've already kind of talked about. But then the flip side of that is that you're looking for someone to rescue you. And, you know, it doesn't work that way. You can't just throw all your problems on somebody else and say, fix it. You can bring someone along that's better suited to help you fix it, but it's still your responsibility to fix it.

Yeah. Yeah. I learned that the hard way. I really thought— and I think it's— yes, it's my fault due ignorance and just not knowing how it is. But also people nowadays sell and market them, their coaching, as this solution. They always talk like, you come to us and we'll fix you, right? You know, they give you these promises and you buy into it eventually, and then you go and it doesn't work this way. No, no. What's going on? What's the support?

Because a great coach, you know, there are a lot of I mean, and you can use this for accountants or lawyers or any other professional service. The whole thing is built on selling you something. And the reality is that ultimately it's up to you to fix it. You know, I think the great coaches reveal what's already inside of you. They don't fix you. They just pull out what's already there.

And another thing about the great coaches is that they care for you. I think that's a major one because, as you said, a lot of these people, they build their whole coaching businesses built with the sales in mind as the sole goal. Like, yeah. And when you approach building a business like this, all you look at is retention rates, drop-off rates, refund rates, and you kind of allow a little margin and they end up not even caring what people are saying as long as the numbers show the difference. Right. And half the members inside are like unhappy, unsatisfied, never get the personal support, personal care. Nobody's there for them. Nobody cares. But they don't quit. So the numbers are right, and you end up with that bitter taste in your mouth because that coaching business is not built to help you, it's built to make them money.

Yeah, yeah. And there's nothing— there's absolutely nothing wrong with making money, and your business should have the intent of making money. But it's like in our business, we do financial services for creative entrepreneurs. So accounting, bookkeeping, payroll, wealth management, those kind of things. But our most successful clients are the ones that have a transformation in how they understand their business finances. I can't give that to them because that's up to them. And I can give them all the tools and the opportunities, but if they don't take advantage of them, it doesn't— again, it goes back to that. Well, yeah, you can pay us to solve your problem and we will solve your problem. But until you engage and say, I'm going to have a better understanding of my finances, and I'm going to run my business like a business. I can't give that to you. You have to earn it. You have to pull it out of yourself. If you don't want it, I can't give it to you.

No, I agree.

And I think that's true for any, any, any service. You know, I ran through that with, with marketing. Marketing is the worst. You talk about coaches. Marketing is the worst because they sell crack. They're selling this drug of, I want to grow, I want to grow, I want to grow. And it's easy to sell that because people want it, right?

Very, very easy.

Right.

And I know by comparison, by numbers, like just to throw that in so people maybe get— the listener can get the perspective. My best friend is doing huge volume of cold outreach marketing and they're selling cold products to cold leads.

Yes.

Cold ideas to cold leads.

Yes.

And if you start selling how to make money selling with cold email, they can get huge response. Yeah, they can get up to like 30, 40, 50% of response rate on a cold email. And if you If you're trying to sell anything else, you'll be lucky if you hit 1%.

Yes. Yes. And you can build a business that way. That's totally fine. But to your point, I think at the end of the day, it's hollow. Like, if it's only about making money, then 'Go and God be with you.' That's fine, but that doesn't resonate with me, and I don't think it's sustainable.

And it's not fulfilling for sure. Maybe for some people, maybe temporarily. I don't think you're doing it for the money. Half the people hating on you that you sell to is actually going to give you any joy. Like, yeah.

Yeah, and at the end of the day, you know, what does more money give you? I mean, in the grand scope of things, like, you know, I'm at an age, I'm almost 55, where I have a perspective based upon experience of like, yeah, you make more money, what difference does it make in your life? And the really important things to me in life, money doesn't change it one way or the other, either the presence or the absence of it. And so making more money is fine. I have no problem with that. That is the intent of the business, but it can't be the sole purpose of the— it can't be the purpose of the business because that at the end of the day doesn't move the needle for me. It did when I, when I thought differently, but it doesn't anymore.

Yeah, for me, business is serving, right? You either sell some product or something that serves people in some way, or you personally serve people. And if you take the serving out of the equation It's a scam.

That's— Yeah, but that doesn't mean the scam isn't successful.

I mean, because they can be bloody successful, especially those selling money. Like, you sell money, how to make money.

Well, and I think, you know, you said you work mostly with men. I think, you know, men that get into their 40s start to realize that. Like there's this, you know, your 20s and 30s, you're building your business. If you have family, you're raising kids and you focus all your energy on that. And then you get to, you know, some point where you're like, wait a second, this isn't what I thought it was going to be. And men have a tendency to, to identify with what they do. When people ask you who you are, you say, well, you say what you do. So I'm a coach, I'm a CPA, whatever. That's how we identify. And our self-worth is caught up in what we can provide, which is important. I believe as men are hardwired to provide and to protect. That's what I think that we're hardwired for. And so it kind of scratches that itch that we have built into us, but it's not sufficient at the end of the day. It scratches it.

It scratches it barely. Yeah. You can go into this in a huge event and meet hundreds of very successful people and tell them all how great you are and how great your business is, even do a keynote and they all applaud you, and at the end of the day you feel just as cold as you went when you walked into there. But if one of them comes to you and says, your story, your human story is amazing, you're a good person and you helped me with what you did, you change, you inspire me, or you just say something that is on that personal level which indicates that you're a good human being. And that you are here for a purpose, that's gonna make your day, not for a day but for a whole, like, for a long time. It's gonna stay with you and they accumulate, and that's the difference. And once you experience that, you can't go back.

Yeah, and it'll fuel you through those, those challenging times that will come. Yeah, you know, I mean, I, I I have gone through that recently where I've questioned decisions and directions that, that we've, you know, moved in the company, trying new things and, you know, wondering if it was the right decision, etc. But when I hear stories from clients about how we've fundamentally transformed their lives, which is not accurate. Like, you know, I like to point out, like, we didn't do that. You did that. You know, we gave you the space to do it and maybe some tools to do it. But you're the one that made the transformation, not us. But those stories fuel you. To keep going.

Yeah, it's very similar with me. It's very special. I'm very blessed to be receiving a lot of these messages. Sometimes could be just the same person, like, over and over again, just sending me how grateful they are and how much they're looking forward to meeting me again and spending some time together, maybe even. And It gives me that achievement in the purpose realm. Like, I'm here for a purpose and I've done something already and I'm on the right track. Regardless how bad my life gets, I feel like I'm good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you learned that, you learned that lesson about yourself in the UK and now you're an optimist. Not, not. Not one of those Pollyanna optimists where, hey, everything is going to be fine. You know, there are going to be difficult times, but you know that you can get through them.

Yeah. And I also am optimistic because I know how important that is. You have to believe in yourself and sometimes you struggle to. I have— still do that. This has been doing this for years. This is like a little journal notebook, which I write my statements in the morning. I'm so happy and grateful now that fill in the blank. Yes. Things that haven't happened yet because I need to maintain my belief. And I know that my self-belief is the most powerful, one of the most powerful tools that I have. I sometimes give the example to my clients about a story that I had in my life. When I was growing up, nobody, literally nobody believed I can achieve anything great. Maybe they indicated somehow that it's possible, but whenever it was coming down to an actual conversation with my parents or anyone of my— the people who brought me up, and they never wanted to tell me like, you can be anything, go work, grow, and just 'What's your dreams? Dream?' They were more of a people like, 'Don't dream. You got to work hard, have good grades. Life is very hard. You need to be good at school. You need to listen to what people say.' I grew up in this life, and there was one moment, I was probably 4 or 5 years old. I don't remember who said what, like what was the occasion. I know there was people, and one person from my family or somebody they knew came to me, and when there was discussion, there was discussion between them what I can achieve. Somebody dropped down like, I can be a president if I want, and that person wholeheartedly agreed. He was like, yeah, 100%, and I felt that. Yeah, one person. That thing remained with me for decades. I was growing up and I was looking for that again. I knew somebody there believed I can do it, and that helped me search for it, search for more people and more, more of that. And now I know I can, I can give that to myself every morning. I'm my biggest supporter and I should keep giving this to myself. You can do this.

Yeah, absolutely. Dr. Baker talks about in his book that the anecdote, the antidote to fear is love. And he says, I don't know that I necessarily agree with this, but I'll stipulate it. He said that the highest form of love is appreciation. And, you know, you talking about journaling in there, about appreciating things that haven't yet happened, is an interesting application of that because you're showing love, appreciation for something that hasn't yet happened. But that is— that keeps you from feeling fear like that. You can't— you can't— in our brains, in the same moment, you can't hold fear and appreciation in the same moment. It— that's the way the brain is wired. So fear comes from the amygdala. Which is your, your reptile brain, uh, and, and when you feel appreciation or love, you're in your neocortex, and the neocortex overrides. And, and so the, the moment you start feeling appreciation, the fear can't come out. Now you, you can go back and forth between fear and, and, but that's, that's the that's the solution to that problem, is showing love.

Yeah, that's a very good one. I just learned it. I mean, I didn't know that.

You need to read this book. It's a great book.

Oh, what is the title?

What Happy People Know.

I will remember that. Yeah, it's a good book.

Yes. Yeah. So, Peter, how do people find you if they want to learn more about what you do and work with you?

Well, I suggest you go to YouTube and see for Peter Fitness by spelling my name as it is, P-E-T-A-R, and you will see that I have a YouTube channel. I have a podcast, my own podcast. I teach people a lot of stuff. So subscribe there, and there you also find how to contact me if you want to Yeah, man, I have my websites. I'm sure if you want to find me, you can find me, right?

Yes, you're going to have to want to, right?

You're going to have to want to.

He's not going to save you.

He's not going to rescue you.

Yeah, that's right. Listeners, we'll have those links in the show notes. If you like what you heard, please rate the podcast, subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast. If there's something else you'd like to hear on the show, please shoot us a message and we would love to help bring it to you. Until then, remember, you are not alone.

Thank you.