Turning Pain Into Progress: Coach Rob

This is the Chris Project, where we discuss mental wellness, self-awareness, and mindset with entrepreneurs and experts. Set your perceived ideas and biases aside and let's go on our journey for yourself, for your family, for the world.

Welcome to another edition of The Chris Project. I am your host, Christian Brim. Joining me today, Coach Rob from Battle Fitted. Rob, welcome to the show.

Thanks for having me. I look forward to our conversation.

Yes, I am too, based upon what we discussed in the green room. I'm intrigued. So tell the listeners who Rob is, what Rob does.

I don't think we have enough time for that. It's a loaded question. Um, so I am a personal development coach. Uh, I help men 30 and over get unstuck, whether that's through fitness, mindset, or discipline. That's the 3 pillars of my coaching. I also own the Battle-Fitted clothing line, which goes in connection with, uh, mindset. And then the Battle Harder podcast, which I have guests who have overcome struggle and adversity, and now they tell their stories of why they didn't give up and how they're living purposeful lives. And this all came from my own life as a 10-year Navy veteran, 17-year former federal police officer, former gym owner that I lost my business completely through COVID, has faced trauma, adversity in my entire life, and I'm still here pushing and trying to help as many people as I can.

I love that. Thank you for your service. So, you know, post-employment, how did you get into owning a gym and/or coaching? Like, what was that entrepreneurial journey like?

So when most veterans get out of the military, typically we go do the job we did in the military. It's just an easy transition. It's not necessarily that we want to do that, but when you need a job. So for me, being a military police officer, it just made sense to go into law enforcement. Well, my last duty station, I was at a Veterans Affairs hospital for 6 years. During that time, it was just a big culture shock, right? When I first got there, I wanted to save the vets. I wanted to help the vets. That was my community. That's the place where I belonged. But the darker side of things, as a police officer, you deal with the veterans that are always drunk or always on drugs or always having mental health issues. You're taking the same veterans to jail. The same veterans to the psych ward. You're fighting with the same people every day. And from a mental health perspective, that can start to really put some things on your heart and mind of why are you doing this? Should you be doing this? Do you want to continue to do this? And in 2018, my mom had passed and I wanted to go bereave for her. But being in the government, because I didn't have vacation time or sick leave, they wouldn't give me time off to go deal with the loss of my mom. Mm-hmm. So I took leave without pay, went to California where we laid her to rest and dealt with that whole situation. When I came back, I just— I didn't have the heart from that point on, knowing that that place did not give a crap about me as far as getting a promotion, as far as my mental health, as far as how to be happy at work because everybody there was miserable. I said there had to be a change. And, uh, talking to my wife, my goal, my dream, what I thought my passion or purpose was, was to open a gym. And I was going to eventually try to build 2, 3, 4 locations and then maybe franchise that out. Well, uh, God, universe, I guess, saw other plans. I opened the gym, was pretty good at what I did as a strength and conditioning coach, as a business owner. But COVID hit, and like some small businesses Uh, because I was a single owner that did literally everything myself— what I mean, everything— sales, coaching, cleaning— I did not qualify for any PPP loan or any kind of advancement. And now we find out that people have been bucking the system and getting all kinds of money illegally. I played the honest game, and that cost me my business. So, uh, in 2021, I closed it down and I liquidated everything.

And then you started coaching.

Yeah. So after that, uh, needing income, my wife had the bright idea. She said, why don't you go back into law enforcement? And that wasn't a very solid plan, but hey, happy wife, happy life, want to provide. I got state certified, state certified here in Florida. I went to work for another department, uh, here in Florida, and the second day a young man took his life. I had to process the scene. I had to take the gun out of his hand. I had to look at his lifeless body, like, and after being at the police department for 4 months, that just wasn't going to happen. I remember coming home, like, just breaking down, like, on my knees crying. My wife's like, what's wrong? Did something happen? She thought, you know, maybe I got hurt at work fighting somebody or getting shot at or whatever. And I would just so mentally exhausted and had so much trauma from everything in my careers that I'm sitting here, I'm like, I'm 46 going on 47. Do, do I really have the wherewithal to continue running these streets and to go for another 5 years without a promotion? And I kind of find myself in the same boat. And the one thing that's been constant in my life was that entrepreneur spirit. Mm-hmm. And, um, from owning the gym, my gym members were constant across the board. I still see some of my members out in town today. I'm good friends with some of my members. We eat lunch or whatever. And they always said, I never met a coach like you. I never had anyone give us a program like you did. I never had anyone lead us the way you did or speak to us the way you did. And right there I was like, well, I don't need a brick and mortar business to coach. I can literally coach anywhere around the world. And from a more aspect where fitness is the number one pillar and it's the priority in my life, I knew I wanted to help people on a deeper level besides just being an online personal trainer. And that's essentially where BattleFitted, the coaching and everything, was born.

I love that story. Yeah, there's so much there. I don't know. Where to go next. What you said that, that, you know, you primarily work with men 30 and over around fitness. Give me the other two pillars.

Fitness, mindset, and discipline.

I was going to say mindset.

I almost did.

So what, what usually presents for you when people come to you, say, I I'm looking for a coach. What are their symptoms?

Usually what I see in men our age, you know, I'm 47 this year, and older men is just they get stuck, right? A lot of times at our age, we're either already married, already divorced, already have a career. And it's just that feeling of, do I belong in this job? Do I belong, you know, being married to this person if I'm still having a bad relationship? Am I a good enough father? Does my family respect me? Do my kids, you know, it's just that I have a, I guess, old-fashioned or old-school way of thinking as far as what a man should be in my definition or opinion. And it's just trying to build them back to that leadership role, that strength role where they're protecting, providing, and presiding over their families and doing what they need to do to be successful while taking care of their mental and emotional health.

Yes, I would, I would agree with your traditional definition, and it's probably not PC, um, but yeah, I, I say a man's role is, is provide and protect, um, and there's, there's a, there's a strong connection between a man's self-worth and whether they're productive. Right. And that, that could be anything really. It doesn't matter just what they perceive to be productive. Right. And, you know, it's when guys get together, their question is, what do you do? Like, it's, it's not like, who are your people or how many kids do you have? Are you married? It's always, what do you do? That's, that's always the first question. It's the identity. And I can see where if that identity, that work, was not fulfilling, or, you know, in your case, like, soul-sucking, that translates right to you, like, personally. Like, my job isn't good, therefore I'm not good. And as an entrepreneur, it'd be the same thing. My business my business is not successful, my business is not doing well, therefore I'm not doing well. Um, and how debilitating that can be.

Definitely. And it's even when you have mental health issues, it's debilitating times like 50, so that makes it even better.

Yeah. So do you, do you mind sharing what those, uh, mental health issues are for you?

Yeah, so I have PTSD, major depressive disorder, and I have anxiety and probably ADHD on the back end that kind of throw that in for good measure thing. So, you know, for all the good military, being a police officer gave me as far as making me who I am intrinsically and internally, it gave me all the bad shit too.

So Yeah, I mean, I've had some family members and some close friends that have been in law enforcement and like, I hear their stories and I'm like, I don't know how you do that. Like, I just don't know how you go deal with that every day. It's, it's, you know, I think in our modern culture, law enforcement is vilified. And, and seen as part of the problem when I don't think most people understand what sacrifices personally they have to make to do that job.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, law enforcement has the highest divorce rate when it comes to, you know, service work, first responders, military, because one of the things that I teach or I try to help with is that emotional regulation. I used to be the guy that would come home from a tough day at work and I wouldn't know how to shut it off. I wouldn't stop at the door and pause and turn off cop mode. No, I'd go in the house and then, you know, my wife objectively would say, what's wrong? And then, you know, as a man or trying to be strong and not talk about that kid you saw die or things that you don't want to put on your family because we try to not involve them in that, but we need to talk about things. Everything's fine, leave me alone. And then it's, why didn't you cook dinner? Why didn't you do this? And then the, the partner on the other end's like, wait, why are you treating me like this? And it's not because we're assholes or we're evil, it's just we don't know how to regulate those emotions before we walk through that threshold back into our house.

Yeah, and I, I, I recently wrote an article on Substack about this. Um, for, for a, a long time I was on SSRIs, so selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, for those that don't know, usually prescribed for depression and anxiety. Been on it for over a decade, and I stopped using them this year. And I wrote this article kind of to reflect on the journey, and then why did I make the choice that I did, and what What I realized was that during the time that I was using it, using those drugs, I had to have those drugs because I didn't know how to regulate my emotions. I did not know how to be irritated without becoming angry. I didn't know how to be angry without going into a rage. And it's not like every time I was irritated, I got angry, or every time I was angry, I went into a rage. But I had no control over it. I didn't know what was going to happen. And, you know, then your, your wife and your kids are like walking on eggshells and like, you know, don't, don't know what to say, what not to say, because they don't know what's going to come out of you.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, I lost my— I was married 18 years to my first wife, and I always tell people where it takes two and it was probably 60-40. I always take the 60% because I know it was because of my mental health issues, my anger, the things that I didn't know how to control because I didn't understand why I was upset or why I'm sad. And to this day, even when I have like a really bad— I have lows occasionally. Luckily, I have more good days than bad, and that's what I always try to teach. But when I have lows, they're really low and sometimes I don't understand it, but I just try to go through the motions. To get through it, where I used to just flip out, yell, scream, throw things, break things, and throw what I call an adult temper tantrum.

So yeah, no, it is, it is very much just like a child. And I think in a lot of ways I was emotionally retarded. Like, I was stuck at some level back at, you know, 3. And unable to process my emotions. And, you know, I think the thing that has been so empowering for me is going off of these drugs. And this is the first— not the first time that I've been off these drugs over, over the last decade. But the thing that I can do now that I couldn't do before was separate myself from my emotions, like that I can have a feeling, but I'm not that feeling. And I understand that if I don't feed that emotion, it eventually will go away. Like it's transitory. It go, you know, all feelings just, you know, move on. And that I could actually change my emotion. Like, that I could— I can actually go by conscious choice from being irritated to being content or being peaceful or being happy. Like, that, that is possible. Now, I'm not saying that I can do that every time, but I know that it's possible. And that opens up a whole nother door rather than being than being controlled by your emotions, which I was. And I'm— one of the things I struggled with was that I am very emotional. It's not just that I couldn't control my emotions, it was that I feel like I have more emotions than most people. Like if autism is a scale and— I don't even know if this is accurate, but like, I've perceived that autism on one end, if you're autistic, you have a lower emotional capacity. I feel like that's— I'm on the other. I'm like anti-autism. And as a man, I remember vividly in my 30s, like, "There is something really wrong with you. Why are you so emotional?" I incorrectly ascribed it to feminine behavior. I was like, you're just a woman. Like, you're crying all the time. Like, what is that? But, you know, I've— so part of it is overcoming that stigma that I had put on myself that having emotions was a negative thing, right?

Yeah, that's the one thing I guess I'm advocating for is Being a tough man or a hard man, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to stuff your emotions down and not talk about them. It's being able to be vulnerable when you need to. So not only your family can understand you, but so you can heal and figure out who you are inside. And, you know, people see me like I'm a pretty nice guy. I'm a big teddy bear by all means. But people see me, they think I'm this big mean, get out of my way, don't touch me. Guy because that's my outer shell, my persona. And, you know, I do take working out seriously. I'm going back into jiu-jitsu next month because I just think that's a discipline that I need to help keep me fit and keep me dangerous and that hard-to-kill mentality that most veterans, police officers, fighters, people have. But I cry and I cry a lot. And if I can't figure something out, I get frustrated and I get frustrated to the point where I have a breakdown. I have a breakdown. And that's that's okay. It doesn't— the one thing luckily, and support's huge in this, my wife's never said, why are you such a wuss? Or why are you so emotional? Or why do you cry all the time? No, she picks up on those triggers or those key points and, you know, are you okay? What's going on? Why are you feeling this way? And that's a huge difference. There is your support system. Because with my first wife, she used to say, I don't know how to help you. And my second wife said, How can I help you? So just reframing those simple words right there made a huge, huge difference in my life.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And it's not— I mean, the support definitely makes a difference, if nothing else, in that it gives you the space to process your feelings, like, as opposed to being in a combative mode of, like, justifying that you're feeling this way, like, well, You know, who are you to tell me that I can't feel this way or I shouldn't feel this way, right? Yeah, I— my wife and I just celebrated our 32nd anniversary. Nice. And we were in Jackson, Wyoming. Beautiful place. If you haven't been, highly recommend it. We were at this restaurant at the top of this ski mountain. And the waitress brought over a couple of glasses of champagne because my wife had put that it was our anniversary in the reservation. And we started to do a toast. And as I was telling her, giving her a toast, I said, "I am so thankful that I've been able to be married to you for 32 years." I started choking up and it was completely unexpected. Like it wasn't I, I, I, it just kind of snuck up on me and like got teary-eyed and, and, you know, my wife just looked at me and smiled. She, she didn't, she didn't, um, like look at me askance or like, why, what's, what's wrong with you? Like, what? And I, I mean, if she had, I would have felt shame. I'd have been like, why am I, why am I doing this? Like, so I totally understand with what you're saying that the people we surround ourselves with, you know, family or otherwise, is critical.

Yeah, definitely. It just— it makes things easier on the back end. Now, unfortunately, there is still people that don't have support. And yeah, that's where I also like to come in because the main thing about healing in general, and when I say healing, I want to preface this, I tell people all the time, my trauma didn't go away. Okay, I'll probably have PTSD. Depression, anxiety, whatever, for the rest of my life till I'm dead and gone. But being able to emotionally regulate, being able to take breaks if you have to breathe, or breaks away from things that are maybe frustrating you or giving you issues. And most importantly, more than anything else, loving yourself. If you don't love yourself, if you don't love internally who you are, you can never heal, you can never be better. And one thing that my current wife used to say to me, she'd always say, I love you, but I love myself more. And I would get mad. I used to get mad. I'm like, why would you say that? What, you don't love— I'm your husband. You're supposed to love me. And it took me a lot of self-reflection to realize, well, she's right. Like, I can't be a better husband to her if I don't love myself first. I can't be a better father to my kids if I don't love myself first. So that's like, I guess, the main step in overcoming anything, regardless of what you are, who you are, where you're stuck at in life.

Yeah, I think I— it is interesting because at least the way I grew up and my expectation of marriage was sacrificial love, right? Like this, this idea that, you know, you're, you're going to sacrifice yourself for the other and give up for the other. Which is fine, except that, you know, speaking to self-love, you can't give somebody something you don't have yourself. Right? So if you want to give your wife your best love, you have to love yourself. It's not— somebody that was on the show earlier He defined it as the economics of the intangible. And he said, you know, love is one of those things that is limitless. If you have one child, you love that child. If you have a second child, you don't love the first child less, right? And that's the way it is with love. And if you if you love yourself more, that, that's not taking anything away from others. That, that just gives you, right, that gives you more to give them.

Yeah, definitely. That just gives you that extra power. And a lot of times I like what you said about, uh, limitless. I always like to say you have to have a limitless belief system, not a limiting belief system. And if you don't do that Once again, everything— what's kind of funny is when I coach people or talk to people, everything that I'm giving them, I mean, anybody honestly could figure out themselves if they just took a deep dive into their own person or psyche. But sometimes they need that support system or that person to yell and scream at them to help them get it out, so to speak. So, but the simplest things I'm finding always work. Like, there's no need to reinvent the wheel. It's even when, um, You may see this on social media or in the gym. You see that person doing like some crazy exercise. They're like doing backflips while curling dumbbells, while jumping rope, while— and you look at them, you're like, right, just go do a bench press or just go do a squat. Like, it's simple. Like, you don't have to make something up to figure out who you're going to be or how you're going to feel or how you're going to look. Like, just stick to the simple principles.

100%. And to your point, I haven't met anybody that did it themselves. Like, I think we all need the guide, the coach, the Yoda, if you will. Like, we need someone to pull us along, to reflect back to us. I think one of the things that I say is, you never really know how other people perceive you or experience you. You really don't, because you can't see outside yourself. You have this huge blind spot that is yourself. And how other people, even your most intimate relationships, how they actually perceive you, you don't really understand. You don't know. But it's so important to have those people in your life because they reflect back to you what you can't perceive yourself. It's like, you know, if they love you and they care about you, they can say, hey, Rob, you're kind of being a dick here. And like, or Rob, you know, I really love this about you. And it may be something that you can't see about yourself.

Yeah, I mean, that comes hand in hand, I think, with business and entrepreneurs especially, because it's a lonely road. And when you have a business, regardless if you have a partner, partners, brick and mortar, online, you have to be obsessed. And people look at you and they, they think obsessed means you're crazy and like you, you're not going to stop, that whole grind your face off mentality. But no, obsession means that you feel it so deep down in your heart and soul that you know that you have to see this through, whether it's to completion or failure. Like, you have to keep going no matter what. And that kind of goes like what you were talking about earlier. Like, sometimes I don't intend to be working on my business while I'm sitting on the couch with my wife, but sometimes I have that— I don't know what you want to call it— tick, that internal itch, that something's like, if I don't get this done This could be the difference between my podcast guest being the best episode ever or the worst, or me getting that one coaching client that I need to make my goals or closing down the business forever. And exactly what you said, my wife sees that I'm working hard, but she doesn't internally— she doesn't know the struggle that's deep within my soul about, man, I have a duty to grow this and build this, not only so I can help people, but so I can leave something decent to my kids so I can have that purposeful life to, to leave my mark on the world, so to speak. And it does kind of suck at times when people just think you're some crazy dude that wants to grind his face off, and I'm like, no, I'm just, I'm just happy with what I do and I love what I do, and, and I owe a duty to myself and, and my, my family to see this through till the end, no matter what happens. And people get scared of that. And I think that's a lot of reasons why people get stuck in their jobs and they don't want to take the risk of entrepreneurism because of that whole thinking that they're not going to make it because they don't have that, I guess, power within them to get obsessed. But it's more about loving what you do instead of just— there's nothing more I hate when someone says, I want to start a business. What kind of business should I start? And you're like, that's like an open-ended question. You have to do what you're passionate about.

How the fuck should I know?

Yeah. You know, because I love fitness, Maybe you love donuts. And so me telling you start a fitness business isn't going to work. Like, you have to do what you— you can't get into entrepreneurism because you think it's sexy or that you're going to be a millionaire instantly. No, you get into it because you found something that you love that helped you break the mold out of being stuck in the system or that rat race of being just having a normal job or normal career.

Yeah, and, and I, I will tell you that, uh, being an entrepreneur is, um, probably the, the best way to, um, develop yourself, like to really deal with the, the things that you wouldn't otherwise deal with. Because to your point, when, when you're an entrepreneur, it's you. You, you can't blame your boss or, you know, the customers or whatever else. I mean, if it doesn't work, it's because of what you did or did not do. And I don't think a lot of people will raise their hands for that, that, right? I mean, like, whether they're passionate about something, most people don't want that level of accountability.

It's a scary place to be, honestly. I mean, when you have to be accountable for everything, your day-to-day, and you have to decide when you don't want to. And that's, you know, I always say, like, with everything, you have to have the consistency. Consistency builds the discipline, and discipline builds the progress. Without the discipline, you can't accomplish everything. And that means that sometimes when I don't want to send emails, if I have to send 50 emails, I have to sit there and send that 50 emails. If I have to take a coaching consult and maybe I don't want to talk to somebody today. Well, I'm going to have to put on Coach Rob outfit and I'm going to have to talk to them. Like, that's, that's the difference between winning and losing is living a life, doing the things you don't want to do, the hard things versus just always taking the easy route.

Right. And it's not that employees don't do hard things. That's not the case. Right. What the difference is with an entrepreneur is they step in the line. They stay step in the line of fire. Like, they choose to say, I'm going to put myself in this situation where I have to have discipline to make those decisions. Whereas most people, they want someone else to tell them what to do, and they'll do it, but like, they don't want to have to ultimately have the decision to decide whether they have a decision, if that makes sense. I don't know if that made sense.

No, it does. Like, there's a fine line between You know, all the jobs, and it's different people, like how you feel, and there's nothing wrong if you want to have a normal job and you're content and happy, do that normal job. That's fine. You know, if you want to be a leader or a supervisor or a manager of a company and you just want to lead people, but you don't want the responsibility of the day-to-day of owning the company, that's fine. Do what works for you. But I know for me, every job that I was in from the time I was a kid to through the military to being a cop, I was just miserable because I'm like, man, I'm taking all these orders from people. They're yelling at me, they're screaming at me, they're telling me what to do. I could really do whatever I want if I put my mind to it. But at first, why I never went into business was that risk, was that, you know, the risk of the unknown, the self-doubt, the self-worth. Like you said, am I going to fail? Am I going to be able to do this? And then as you do research, you, you realize most successful business owners, they failed a bunch. It wasn't just like I made this business and boom, it was successful. No, they've lost businesses, they've lost marriages, they've— and all that pain. And this is everything I teach and why the mantra of my whole brand is turning pain into progress. All that pain, instead of letting it defeat them, they said, no, I'm going to turn this into something more. I'm going to turn into something beautiful. And then that's where the magic, so to speak, starts to happen.

Yes. And, you know, you're a father, you understand this, that the— you don't learn anything really without pain. And I'm not talking about a lot of pain, but like, you don't— and it could be just emotional pain. It's not necessarily physical pain. Like, You don't learn anything by succeeding, right? Right. I mean, and so if you approach your pain from a different standpoint, your failure, quote unquote, from a different standpoint of that's the price you have to pay, that's the cost of the ticket. And if you don't want to go to the show, Fine. But like, if you want to go to the show, this is what you have to do. There's no shortcut. I was telling my leadership team last week, like, I had 12 hours last week where I had a literal existential crisis and, and it kind of caught me off guard after 28 years. But like, I was like, fuck it. Like, I'm just selling this business and moving on. Like, if we can't do any better than this, like, why are we even here? And what— why the hell am I here? Like, what am I doing here? Um, I processed it. It was fine. But like, um, you know, I don't— I don't— this idea that you reach some point and that, that goes away, uh, is, is also a myth. Like, it, it doesn't.

That's why— and I don't know, do you know who Andy Frisella is?

I do not.

So Andy Frisella, he basically started out with his own supplement store, which he was literally sleeping like on a couch in his store. And his family, his friends, they told him like, you're crazy, you can't do this. And he was just kept like, watch me. And he kept pushing and pushing and working and grinding. And he talks a lot about like not being that smart, not having a good school education, but just that undeniable work ethic, that hustle. Well, he is the CEO of 1st Phorm Supplements, which is a major million-dollar company. He hosts the— he hosts his own podcast. He's written books on mental toughness. He has what's called the 75 Hard program, where it's supposedly the number— yeah, the number one book on mental toughness. And he just, he didn't quit. He just, he didn't give up. And it's just those times where, and you know, it seems like you kind of just had one. There's those times where we just like, as an entrepreneur, something happens. Maybe you're just having a bad day. Maybe you got an argument with your wife. Maybe you lost a big client or that huge podcast guest canceled on you. And that's where that doubt creeps in. You're like, can I really do this? What am I doing this for? Why am I doing this? And he says it, and the point to this is he says all the time that as an entrepreneur, he's not trying to stop. He doesn't have a stopping point. He's trying to grow ultimately as much as he can, as long as he can, until he decides he doesn't want to be a business owner anymore. He doesn't want to do this. And he talks a lot about that's where most people fail, because as an entrepreneur, you say, oh, well, if I can just make $500,000, I'll be good. And then you make that $500,000 and you're like, oh shit, I have to pay employees. I have overhead. I have stock inventory. I'm not good. And then it's like, oh, if I just get to the million. But you have to constantly set goals for yourself. You have to constantly try to grow. And, you know, especially for someone that has employees, if you want them to have purposeful lives, then you owe it to your employees to try to scale your business to make more money so they can make more money and have better lives because that's part of your community and your culture. Yeah.

And, and the reality is that if you build a successful business and you have the financial freedom you want and the time freedom that you want, you're going to get bored and you're going to have to have something to scratch that itch, right? And it's not recreational, like it's not hobbies. You know, that's fine, that has a place, but as an entrepreneur, you got to have a problem to solve. And, you know, if you don't have a problem to solve, you're not going to be content. The trick is, and this is what I've figured out, was to not create your own problems just so you can fix them. Like, that, that's a huge thing. Like, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna go in here and tinker with this. Like, no, leave it the fuck alone. Like, it's working, you know?

Yeah, I, I think that goes a lot into also though, and, and not just entrepreneurs but men. Like, a man without a purpose is a very scary, dangerous thing, right? Like, yes, that's, that's the, the main thing, the main intrinsic thing of Being a man is having that purpose, whether that purpose is to take care of your family, where that purpose is to make lots of money, where that purpose is to travel. And, and most entrepreneurs that I spoke to, the successful ones, you're right, they take the fancy, fancy vacations, they drive the nice cars, they have the toys, but they're not out there using them every day. They're not out there freaking playing, you know, 18 holes of golf every day, months on. No, they're grinding and working and hustling and investing in more businesses and making more opportunities and making more moves and expanding their portfolio and doing things to continue to have that purpose. And, you know, um, it's a beautiful thing. And I hope you get there too. You know, once you build a successful business or start to build the empire to branch off and say, okay, well now I want rental properties and how am I going to do this? And now I want to invest in this gym. How am I going to do that? And try to build this portfolio of wealth while also giving you a purpose and solving problems at the same time.

Yeah, I think that what every entrepreneur will figure out at some point is like what they thought they wanted was not really what they wanted. Like, you know, whether that's the financial success or the time success, you know, at the end of the day, that's not what gives the entrepreneur the dopamine fix. What gives the entrepreneur the dopamine fix is creating shit. And I think that's an innate, God-given thing. Like, you're made in the image of your creator who made— who created— like, that's what he did. And therefore, we are a reflection of that and we're made to create. Um, and that doesn't just stop.

Yeah, I mean, for like my clothing, I do all the designs myself. Um, starting out by myself, obviously I had to do everything, learn everything myself because I didn't want to hire out. So building my own website, doing my own social media, uh, all that stuff. But like you said, there's something beautiful in the creation of someone wearing a shirt that you, you know, you made from scratch, you made the design, you made the idea coming alive. Yeah. Someone saying, you know, oh man, this, this website really spoke to me because everything's logically there. It's clean. It tells me what you are, who you do, or just, you know, comments or interactions on social media. You know, thank you for what you said today, or I appreciate you creating all those things and then getting even a bad response. I hate your shirt. Like, even bad responses are good because you're getting people to think about this thing that you put out in the universe, and it's your thing, and no one can take that away from you.

Yeah, you, you, the expectation that you're going to put— you're going to— I mean, think about an artist, right? You know, they, they make a song, or they, they do a painting, or a dance, whatever. Some people are going to like it, some people are going to hate it. And like, you know, it— that's not why you did it. Like, I didn't do it for you to tell me you didn't like it or did like it. I did it for a purpose, and what you take away from it is yours. Like, I'm just doing what I was made to do, which is to do this thing.

I think that goes a lot into criticism too, though. Like, you know, when you think about life, most people honestly, they don't give a crap about you. And I don't mean that in a bad way, but Everybody's in their own little microsystem of worrying about themselves that sometimes a lot of people are afraid to create because they think the public's going to just put everything in a negative light or a negative connotation. And most people just don't give a crap. Like if they like what you do and they're vibing with what you do, they'll find you and they'll, you know, buy that song or they'll buy that shirt or they'll, you know, follow you on social media. And that's how you build your own community. And I think more people in today's society has to get back to stop worrying about, you know, what is people gonna think if I decide to do this? Like, you know, it's crazy to me how, like, I don't know about you, I'm very time conscious to the point where, like, I almost feel like I know the minute of the time of the day of the age that I'm going to take my last breath. And I'm like, shit, I got a lot more shit to do. Like, time is running out. Let's go, go, go. And I don't understand in this, this world, this one shot at life, why people just don't give it their all and put everything that they have available to them out there, especially with today's technology and YouTube and everything we can do to learn to be and do whatever it is we want to do. Yeah.

And, and I, I, you know, you talk about criticism and like there are a lot of people that we let their criticism influence us. And like, I learned, like, there are very, very few people that have the right to speak into my life. Like, and I'll tell you who they are. The first cutoff is who's going to be at your funeral. Like, if they're not going to be at your funeral, they absolutely have no right to be speaking into your your life and criticizing you, because like, who gives a shit what you think, right? Um, and, and, you know, the, the circle that's actually going to mourn you, that's going to be sad you're gone, you know, that may be a dozen people. I, you know, I mean, the reality, the reality, like you said, is it's, it's small. Um, you know, those are the people that can speak into your life and say, you know, Rob, I think you need to be doing something differently. Or, you know, and those people, you may not want to hear the criticism, but they're the people that you absolutely should listen to because they care about you.

Yeah, I mean, I agree with that 100%. My best friend that I met him in the military and we've been friends, God, forever, over 20 years now. I always ask him like, dude, help me with my business. And he'd always tell me no. And then one day he told me, he's like, you're my best friend. Like, I'm not going to ruin our friendship because we have some argument over a business. And I had to respect him for that. And he's probably one of the most brutal people to me. Like, well, you're not making money doing this, so what are you going to do? Like, to the point where it pisses me off. Not because it angers me, but a lot of times he's right. He's that outside guy looking in.

I hate that. I hate it when they're right.

Yeah, you hate it. You hate it. And you're like, Oh man, but at least I have someone that has my back. And even with, with my wife, like with everything I've done, there's been points where I've been close to quitting this and like, I guess I gotta go back to get a real job. And she'll be the deciding factor, usually being like, no, you know, I see what you do. Um, you know, a lot of people liked your last podcast episode, like you owe it to yourself to keep going. And as long as, you know, finances, the everyday to day, I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, car to drive, and happy, healthy. And my kids are happy, happy and healthy. I'll keep doing this until I can't do it anymore or until the wife says, okay, time to stop.

Yeah, I remember vividly when my wife said, you know, you're— and she said it just as calm as this. She goes, you're mad because you know I'm right. I'm like, "Grrr, yes, yes, that is exactly why I'm mad." Rob, how can people find out more about working with you and buying Battle Fitted gear?

The best place is battlefittedbrand.com. battlefittedbrand.com, that's my website. I am literally on every social media platform, I think, @battlefitted. My highest one being Instagram. That's where I usually connect most with people. Um, so if you find me on Instagram at Battlefitted, feel free to DM me. Uh, the coaching consultation is always free, and whether you decide to work with me or not, I do small group and one-on-one 90-day sessions in total. And even if you're like, man, this isn't going to work, um, I will always send you a free resource, whether it's my book on 5 tips on mental resilience, how to beat imposter syndrome, a 7-day mindset reset guide to kind of get you back on track, all just for having a conversation with me.

I love that. Well, listeners will have those links in the show notes. If you like what you heard, please rate the podcast, share the podcast, subscribe to the podcast, do all 3. If you would rather hear somebody besides me and Rob, shoot us a message and we'll consider it. Until then, remember, you are not alone.