Align to your True North, Top 3 Tactics from 3 Brains - Head, Heart, and Gut! 3 Brains Intelligence

I'm the founder of 3 Brains Intelligence. So that means I know much more than is almost healthy for me. And my purpose is in this, now in this hour we have to give you a beautiful insight, a glimpse that you have a beautiful takeaway that you can use in your daily life or in your work. So, but so I had to squeeze it down. So if you need something to know more, please do so. As you became aware, Marta and Dave did an amazing job of sending you all an email to invite you to do the 3 Brains Preference or Dominance Test. That's a free test from my website where you can come over here. Hey, which brain of you is dominating? It's free. I would say just do it because the only thing that can happen, you can get a better life and coaching life with it. So that's good.

Okay, so we're going to introduce you, Christoffel.

So, hi, I'm Marie Waring. I'm on the TCC board, and it's my pleasure to introduce Christoffel Sneijders. He is a master certified coach, psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist, excuse me, and the author, and an author dedicated to unlocking your potential. He pioneered the 3 brains, head, heart, and gut theory in 2018. Enhancing client support for those battling limiting beliefs and trauma. His books, uh, How Men and Women Fit and Relationships: Which Brain Is Talking, illustrate the role of our 3 brains in relationships. He draws from 30 years of expertise in coaching, clinical hypnotherapy, NLP, and psychotherapy. He aids clients worldwide in crafting fulfilling lives, and he fervently believes that coaches and leaders possess the potential to impact the world profoundly. So we are really excited to have him here. Christoffel, take it, take it away.

Thank you, Marie. And yes, if somebody does not believe the last sentence that you have all the power inside you to make this world a better place, please leave. Of course, this is a joke. I have to say I'm Dutch. That means sometimes I can be extremely direct. For everybody else outside the Netherlands, that means I'm rude. But I will do my extreme best to keep it, keep it aside. So I would say we all did it once in a life and we have 1 hour. So we right away start. How many times did you say to somebody, even if it's a friend and not even in coaching relationship, just follow your heart, especially when you talk about relationships. Hence your best girlfriend or best mate gets stuck to the wrong person, or just trust your gut feeling when you do an investment. Or something else, or regretted the decision and said, I should have followed my logic. I should have thought about it, followed more my heart or followed more my gut. Who of you did it? You can raise hands, you can put it in the chat. I raised 2 hands because I'm, I'm really master in having those mistakes. And I say it's a mistake because actually what you become aware, you use only one of your 3 wisdom centers on that moment to make a decision. It's almost like, like start running with one leg. Because what does it actually mean when we say that? And when you say follow your heart or follow your gut, what kind of real advice do you give somebody? Which wisdom center should they then align with? And how is that heart or gut actually make decisions? The answer we'll find later. But now I just like to prompt you, hey, what does it actually mean? And I hope, of course, that you keep on saying it only then with the wisdom that you direct a person in a specific direction when you say that or ask that. So 5 essentials. There are much more, but in this little hour, know which brain is leading you, know what the responsibilities are. Change is taught by your evolutionary biology. One brain dominance leads to disaster and align your 3 brains. And those are the 5 things we're going to run through in this little time in a beautiful way. If I talk too quick, because some people say I could work at the stock exchange, please, Marta, just say it, eh? Because I came aware this one likes to blur out a lot of information and for some odd reason, this one is slower but still quick.

I will let you know you're too fast.

Thank you, Marta.

Thank you.

So know which brain is leading you. Just a little test, and there is no right or wrong. Just become aware of what's happening. So now just imagine for a moment you work at a company. The company is making a severe loss. Urgent need for taking action. The board decides 10 of your 10 employees, 5 should make redundant. All your employees have the same level of competencies. And the board likes to give you some ideas. So you're not standing there all by yourself. The first one is they say you can let go of the 5 elderly people. It's the best choice for production as the job is also a physical one. We can also assume that based on their age and the other things, they'll never find a job again. And financially, it will have a negative impact on them. Option 1. Option 2, they say you can also let go of the 5 younger people. In the current market, they will find a job easily again and all good for them. They also say you can use the LIFO principle, last in, first out. It's not age-related. 5 employees have worked more than 15 years for the company. 5 entered the last 2 years because then they still had that hockey stick idea from growth. That didn't work out. It means you'll keep 3 older and 2 younger employees. The 4th option is you can also totally disagree with our board and say without any consequences, I cannot support any of these options. I'd like to think of other ones. Now, just in the chat, what is your first response? Where would you choose for A, B, C, or D? So the funny part is, I, I did not say that, but I could predict this outcome. The outcome we now see is so obvious when I work with coaches, because I can tell you This is the outcome. 95% of the times, heart and head brain dominant people will choose C or D. When I saw your assessments already coming in today and your coaches, that's most of the times your dominant brain. So you choose for C and D. If you would now have gut brain dominance, you would choose for A. If I do this in an executive board, then 2 of the executive board members always say A. That's the financial director and that's the production manager or director. And they say, guys, this is a no-brainer. Read the freaking sentence. It's the best choice for production. Which part of that sentence don't you understand? And they inspire the other people. Yeah, but it is, but those people will then, they will never get a job again. It's about our company. And then we have the rest of the day a lot of fun. But now, knowing this, how easily can you change? And now just come aware inside yourself that you have to choose A or maybe B. But I know one person chose for B. And so the chosen, the person chose for B, you're going for C or for A. How easy is that for you? If you just come aware inside, or do you feel already something like in your body? No, no, no, no, that doesn't feel nice. That doesn't feel good. I don't like to say that. So if that is happening with you, who or what is doing that inside you? Who is producing that feeling? Is that your beautiful logical brain? Because your logical brain would say, hey, but so it's not your logical brain who's now giving you those uncomfortable feelings. So who is it or what is it? That question always kept me curious in all my years when I was a coach or a therapist and had something like, what keep— what is people— why are they stuck? What's happening with them? This is the logical choice. So let's go there. So just a little piece, one little piece of biology. We're not going in the whole biology class, just a little piece, but just to make you aware of what's happening with us and where we're coming from. So this is the old idea, how it was always educated, how I got educated, what I was even telling people for a long time. We have 3 brains, the triune brain, reptilian part, an emotional part, and a mammal part. Who still believes that? If you now raise your hand, we have an issue, I have to say. Kidding. Don't be allowed to say so, because this is actually scientifically not true. Neurobiologist Michael Gershon, who is the— actually, you could say the founder, or who wrote her article or the whole book about the gut brain. Neuroscientist Lisa Bare Feldman. They will really give you all the research data why it's not true anymore. Just one little sentence: a reptile, the average crocodile or whatever it is, has in its DNA all the genes, all the DNA factors to create a brain like we have. Luckily, epigenetics does not turn it on. Otherwise, we would have Jurassic Park. So what is true now? Just a little, just a little insight. This is actually how we all somewhere originated according to evolution. So this is, say, a living creature still now in the sea that represents the basic of our livelihood. And Marten knows, because he was last year in, in when I was in Texas, I presented it. So Marten knows the answer, so he's not allowed to say it. But what kind of living creature is this? It is, it is living in the sea. And I know Texas also somewhere has a connection with the sea. So you could see it if you dive in. And you can put it in, you can put it in chat or just blurt it out. It's always fun to see what people think about it.

Octopus.

Cucumber. Yes, Madalena, it's a cucumber, only it has 3 letters more. You need 3 letters to add on it. And I already said Texas is connect— yes, Madalena, we have a smartass here. It's a sea cucumber. A sea cucumber looks like a cucumber, does not taste like a cucumber. And it lives in the sea. What's the most amazing thing of the sea cucumber besides its life? What is it missing? What does it not have? A brain. Absolutely. Nia, it doesn't have a brain. Does not have a brain. It does not have a brain. What is it missing more? Besides brain, so it does not have a brain. It has a gut. It because this is the whole gut system. This the intestines and this the stomach, mouth, anus. Head, head, head. Oh, what does coaches have most times as the biggest part of their body? Yes, Marta. Andy, a heart. This living creature, and that's why I stand still with it. That you never forget it anymore. This living creature does not have a head or a guard. It's a living gut. So we all originated, and Lisa Barrett Feldman also loves to have that, that talk when she does. We all originated from little one-cell organisms where nutrition goes in and nutrition or waste material goes out. That became little plants, became little sponges, sponges became jellyfish, jellyfish became sea cucumbers, sea cucumbers started to walk, Became fish, fish became now we have reptiles, reptiles became now us. 500 million years of evolution are happening. So if you now just look at this, who's in charge, your head or your gut? If you would have to choose now, please say your gut, otherwise you have to go back 2 slides. Kidding. Now, So if you just think logically, your gut is in charge. By the way, Michael Gershwin proved your gut is in charge. It's not for this little session because otherwise we go into the whole biology. But research shows if you would cut through the spine, what we're not going to do as a test here. So your central nervous system is disconnected. Your gut is still able to make decisions. process food and digest. It does not need its brain, our brain, to do that. It can make independent decisions by itself, just like the little sea cucumber. Now, if you now make it in one slide, what is now happening? Michael Gershon, he wrote the book The Second Brain in the '90s after 30 years of research as a neurobiologist. Came aware the gut is an independent system and has all the hormones and neurotransmitters to keep us alive. So everything we have here, it has in the gut except one. There's only one it does not have, and that is having the heart. What's the responsibility of the gut? If you would say now thinking brains, it's keeping us alive. Where's our autoimmune system for 90% located? If you now go to whatever YouTube or things and you just type it in or Google it, where's our auto— where's autoimmune system located? They will say your gut, your gut bacteria. Your gut is actually keeping you alive. How does it do it, say, in our life, establishing personal success and safety? Okay, the more I am the alpha male, the more I'm on top of the mountain, the safer I am, the more success I have, the more survival chances I have. What are the resources in communication? Fear, anger, rage, lust and desire, hunger and disgust. Those are, say, you could call it emotions or sensations it communicates with. If you go to the heart, Michael Andrew, oh, sorry, Andrew Amour wrote a research document also in the '90s about the heart. And if people ever heard of HeartMath, that's a company, they're really specialized in all the science of the heart, right? He came aware on the heart is a little brain. He called it the little brain that has 100,000 brain cells and can also act totally independently. The most beautiful example of it is we all know the amygdala. The amygdala, that's in the limbic brain, but they have the beautiful stories about when your heart does boom, boom, boom, boom, 7 milliseconds later, your amygdala sparks up. Your heart is actually based on the rhythm it has signaling to the amygdala, send more or less of these hormones or neurotransmitters out. I'm feeling safe, good, hungry, happy, lovely, whatever. And not the other way around. It also likes to keep us alive, only it does it by connecting and bonding, being part of the team. You see here already a different kind of strategy happening. Your heart likes to be us. Your gut likes to be me. What are the resources? Love, compassion, Persuasiveness, hate, sadness, guilt, shame, and has the values of good and wrong. Everything that a good coach is needing. There's your heart. The head brain, of course, is an amazing miracle of, of nature evolution. 100,000 million brain cells. It's amazing. Every brain cell, by the way, in your body has something like 5,000 connections, which is not a brain cell. It's amazing. Why do we have a beautiful big head? Also to keep us alive. Only it does it by predicting the future, the best cause and effect analysis. Did you ever wonder, why do I have such a big memory? Why do we have to remember stuff? Only to make a better prediction for the future. What does it do? It likes to learn, to understand, to create, to reason. And the only thing that your head has, what your rest of the body doesn't have— there's 2 things. It's words. So the language we speak now. And the second thing is time. So this one here is the only part of your body that knows tomorrow and knows yesterday. Your heart and your gut have the same time awareness of a dog. Or a child of 3 years old. So, and if you'd like to see how that is, then you say to your child of 3 years old, next week we go to eat ice cream. Next week or in 2 hours, we go out with the dog. Now your dog will already jump up and stay at the door and your little child probably has already something. Mommy, mommy, daddy, daddy, we're going to eat ice. No, no, next week. 5 minutes later. Mommy, daddy, daddy, daddy, are we going to eat ice? Next week, they don't have the concept of time. Why is it so important if we coach people what we are? Then we become aware that we can have issues stuck in our body, in the memory systems from the past, that the heart and the gut still believe it's now. What in psychology is sometimes called the post-traumatic stress syndrome is the real trauma. But all the habits, beliefs, values we have are actually always living in the now. That's why we can coach people on things of the past in a coaching way. So I will not say we can become therapists because that's a big word, but we can do work that connects with the past in the present and the future. We can do it in a coaching way. So ICF approved. Okay, so one thing, what are the strengths and pitfalls of your brains if you start thinking about it? And that's actually amazing. And they become aware why sometimes we are stuck and why it's so hard to find the true north where we're actually talking about. Because if you would follow your gut, then your true north is all about winning. You're pitiful, you're egocentric. So it's about winning for me. You're the gold medal finalist. You're the number one. It's an egocentric thing. What's the energy of the gut brain? It's saying sorry. If you ever are in a relationship or like to be in a relationship, a new one, and you're dating, then just ask the person, how many times do you say sorry? If the answer is no, then finish your drink, let him or her pay and walk out. By the way, the person will not like to pay because he's egocentric. You say, you walk away, you pay. You have right away discussion. They come away, you made a good choice to walk away. Your heart is all about connecting. It's the team player. It is the person who really makes it happen in the world. That's why we coaches have a big heart brain. We connect with people, we listen to people, we feel compassionate about people. That's why we need a heart brain. What's the pitfall of it is self-sacrifice. And what I mean, it is the real heart brains are the real Excuse me, all men, but let's go, let's traditional. There's all the— now you can also say the housewives or the house dads who work their whole day, the butter for the kids, the house, and et cetera, et cetera. And at the end of the day, don't have any energy left for themselves anymore. The self-sacrifice. What's the energy actually to do a good confrontation? In coaching, the self-sacrifice, you can see your client calls you at 11 o'clock at night and you pick up the phone. And you sent an email on Sunday, self-sacrificing, self-doing something else. A gut brain person would say, I don't pick up the phone, I'll come back to you on Monday morning. The head brain loves to have the perfect answer, cause and effect, and likes to create the best answer for you. What's the pitfall? Procrastination. Because if I cannot find the perfect answer, I don't like to speak it out. Do you know if somebody has a really high head brain score in your, in your, in your, in your friends, you know, you can make them extremely crazy with one question. Be spontaneous. They're really almost full of their chair because spontaneous means you have to just shoot from the hip. They cannot do that. So you just ask, um, whenever, should we go out in 5 minutes? And they almost have an issue because they have to think about all the pros and cons. Can you just give me an answer? Just shoot from the hip. You make them totally crazy because they don't like guessing. They don't like to be wrong because 50,000 years ago, being wrong could mean you became lunch of the lion. Yeah. So we like it. So this is what you do. So if you now see already, wow, where's our true north? And what's now the beauty? We are born with the genes of daddy and mommy based on research of positive psychology. Also from, uh, it shows that the other 50% is actually based on epigenetics, on the environment and the choices we make.

Yeah.

And most of us in the first 7 years of our life, what they call the imprint period in psychology, All our basic values and belief systems are almost installed. All the ways how we do relationships, how we do conflict are almost installed. So when we talk about your authentic self or your true north is the question, hey, which brain do I follow? And what kind of beliefs and habits do I have that actually are on that? If you're born in a really competitive family, your gut brain is extremely trained. If you go to Harvard, your gut brain will be trained because it's always Doing more than you can do. If you follow a different kind of schooling system, you maybe your heart brain is much more trained. If you go to a beautiful engineering school, probably your head brain is much more trained or to become a doctor or lawyer. Yeah. So it makes sense. What is then trained actually? Who are you? Now the beauty is if you're thinking coaching, what is stopping your clients and also you and me of change is actually our biology. And I will prove this in a beautiful little test. I like now to be a little bit cocky to say I will prove it because this is the most famous picture we show in psychology, coaching, and training. And the question is, what do you see? Who knows this picture? So you know what we have, what you have to see, isn't it? So what do you see? Yes. Do you see the old lady and the young lady both? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Amazing. So this is actually your biology that stops you now from seeing the rest because your 3 brains use more than 40% of your daily energy. This one already 25%, the other 2 15%. So what do you see? As you know this picture, you see a young and an old lady, most of you. And based on that, you see that you don't look any further. That's what Daniel Kahneman in Thinking Fast and Slow calls System 1. And you don't look any further. The default mode is law of association. I know it somewhere, I associate, this is it. It walks like a duck, it talks like a duck, it shits like a duck, probably it is a duck. No question there anymore. But I can tell you, beautiful ones, in here are 2 birds. In this picture, the guy who wrote, made this 100 years ago, put 2 birds in there. Where are they? And now your system 2 is working. Now your high energy mode is working. So now you can start searching for 2 birds and actually become aware what is happening inside yourself. Is it easy? Is it not easy? And I'm, I keep on talking. So you have something like, please, Chris, shut up. I'm concentrating on seeing 2 birds. Who sees them already? Oh, Texas, you're slow. Ah, ah, ah, Dara, Dara Rossi. Okay, we have a smart one here. Okay, I will help you out. Otherwise, the whole story is here. The first bird is in the bottom. That is here. So this is the beak. This this thing. This is the head, and this is a wing. Do you see it? I do. Perfect, Linda. So this is actually now okay there. The second one, they say it's harder to see. This is the eye, and this is the beak. So it's only the head says something like an like an. Like a hawk. This is the eye and this is the beak. It's a little bit harder to see. You have to be a little bit more creative or 2 glasses of wine also help. If that's your daily normal, then 3 glasses. So this is what we did actually. This is called your high energy mode. That means you have to create new neural connections. It takes a lot of energy. If already 40% is taken on a daily basis by just doing all the things it does, taking extra energy actually is not wise if you do it constantly because you don't have energy left to do your other stuff and survival mode goes down. So in general, suppose you don't think they look like birds. That is totally okay. Well, it's creativity. And if you ever go to Madrid where I live, you go to the Prada Museum, there you see a 3-meter or a 5-meter-wide painting that's called Guernica from Picasso. And then you start looking at it and think, why did people pay $100 million for this painting? It's even not— I cannot recognize it. Anyhow, coming back here, we all run on eco mode. 95% of our daily actions we do without even thinking. If you lift your glass, you don't think about it. If you bite your nails like John is doing at this moment, he's not thinking about it. It's an automatic process. If you like to learn something new, it takes a lot of energy, and we do it only when it's really necessary. So our average coachee only likes to change when only his seat is burning underneath his buttocks. Well, when do people really change the diet? When the doctor says 2 months to live. Oh wow, you're pre-diabetic. And then people say, ooh, I have to change before they know that already. Change is your biology stops us. So what happens if you then all follow one brain? If you don't know you have 3 of them. Now, if you like to know too much, so your head brain is dominant in your score, then these are things that Probably the person will do it, will do micromanagement and loves to do perfectionism and is process and system focused. So it likes to do step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step. The process and system focused is what you see the pilots do before they take off. One person is saying all the little steps, the other person says check, check, check, check, check, check. Process-oriented, and it is really great because it keeps us safe. Surgeons do the same. Is also really happy if you get a surgery. If you have too much heart brain, your heart brain is say dominant, and I know a beautiful person in this group who has that. I will not say names. Then there is a chance that she's a beautiful, pleasing person. That she has issues or he has issues with avoiding the hard topics, the confrontation, the conflicts, um, having the discussion with somebody, you're fired, you don't get a raise, uh, the realignment sessions, all those things they have issues with because it creates conflict, it creates reaction. And a lot of times in our job, you see the coaches that deliver gold and get paid silver. Those are the people who give a discount. Those are the people who do more than the client asks for. Of course, it creates a beautiful relationship, but you can also ask money for it because it's your time. Last but not least, the gut brain dominant persons. Oh, what will happen with them? They are controlling behavior because control means you're in charge. That means you have survival needs. They're too pushy. Do it like I say. They have a focus on short term because the gut brain, just like the heart brain, only think about now and the first direct response. They don't think about next week, next month, next year, and they're power driven. And of course, all of them Makes sense to have those qualities somewhere, but be in control of it. The, the part is, if you have one brain really dominant, most people don't have control about those behaviors anymore, and they become almost the authentic self, and they don't do the other things anymore. So then finding your true north is really hard if you put it in one slide. So this is somewhere what's happening. Engagement with others is actually heart brain. Own empowering beliefs, you could say, is gut brain, is thinking about yourself. If you think too much of yourself, you're in a gut brain spot. Thinking too much of others, you're in a heart brain spot. If you don't think about anybody else, you're something almost in the addiction mode, the red one. And in between, some of the head brain spot. What we like to achieve is the sweet spot. Then you outperform And you find your true north because you connect all your different spots with you, for you, but also your client. When I work with clients, I always like to get them in the, in the sweet spot. That's the objective. So how do you do that? One, learn and master the unique language of the 3 brains. What's the beauty Although I said they don't have words, they have communication because we feel the sensations. And when we ask that first question about what are you going to do with the company, let's choose your A, B, C, or D. Can you remember the sensations you had when I asked you, could you change to a different choice? Those sensations you feel is the language of your brains, of your heart and gut brain. If you start verbalizing it, your sensations, we can somewhere start detecting the language of the 3 brains. So then we know which brain is talking. And when you know which brain is talking, you can become aware actually which brain is connected with a topic for a client. If he's more connected with the gut brain, heart brain, or head brain with the topic, which brain is maybe not connected, which brain does not like to change or does not like to do the topic. Because the brains that are silent or don't like the topic will stop the change. And if you think, how, how can I imagine that? And just imagine that it's for you all morning. For me, it's already now 7 o'clock, so it's almost dinner time. So it's late in the evening. You had a long day of work. You know those days, long day of work. You rush a little bit between all your clients. You come home and it's late in the evening. Okay, you open your fridge and you see a healthy salad and you see the leftovers that are just yummy, the pizza, the pasta, the risottos, all the kind of things, cheesy stuff, maybe a little wine, a little chocolate, whatever your preferences. I see already Alana thinking, oh wow, he knows me. So your head probably would say, go for the salad, that's healthy. But probably your gut would say, oh yes, but you know, that pizza yesterday was great. That leftover of the lasagna, Alkris, why would you throw that away? And 9 out of 10, which brain do you think they will follow? The gut brain. Even though you know differently. So what we like to do is communicate to become aware which brain actually does not like to change, because that brain probably will sabotage the change. And it can be the same as the heart. It can be the same by the head, by the way. Only when the gut brain really says no, most times it is a no. The head brain can be easier changed by logic. because it does not have, say, quote unquote emotions. That's how we can play with that. The second one, what we said, is having the awareness which brain is dominating the conversation, what we just discussed about, which one is actually now doing what. And the beauty is you can easily come away. Who have you done ever NLP, neurolinguistic programming? Are there some NLP persons in the room? Oh yes. So then, you know, say the kinesthetic, visual, auditory kind of the sensory systems. Now, in the same kind of way, the submodalities, you could say, if you would do a really rough comparison, you could see this head, heart, and gut as submodalities. And based on the submodalities, we can start, in my words, playing with them. You can start becoming aware of them. The 3rd step is actually which brains are actually, in my words, misaligned due to beliefs, habits, or trauma and not taking part of it. Because you can have, say, a dominance. Yeah, I'm dominant in my heart brain, then my head brain, then my gut brain. What is the average coaching score? So you listen more to your heart. Your head steps in to give you some advices, but your gut most times is not listened to, but you can still access them all. What also could happen, they, that they are stuck based on a belief or a word. A belief is something, um, no, the easy one. And it was last year in Texas. Religion is a beautiful belief. It doesn't matter if it's true or not. I don't care. A belief is a, a religious belief. And it means based on that belief, you'll make choices. And it's then hard to skip that. If you believe that meat is good for you, it's hard to become a vegetarian. If you believe that coffee really wakes you up, it's hard to skip the coffee in the morning. By the way, it does it partly based on caffeine, but that's a different kind of story. Well, I see everybody now taking a sip. Hey, now you talk about coffee, Chris. Let's take it. Let's take a coffee. So those are beliefs and we all have, and you work as a coach with belief systems. Now, you know, what's the beauty of a belief? 80% of the beliefs are connected with the heart brain. They're most times beliefs, how we deal and not deal with people, how you shoot them, how you deal with people, how you deal with elderly, how you deal with death. They're all belief systems. And we learned them in the first 7 years. The beauty is your heart brain still thinks it's now. If it becomes a limiting belief, the beauty of when you work with 3 brains, the heart brain still thinks it's now, although it's 10, 20, 30 years ago that the limiting belief was useful. The moment we quote unquote coach the heart brain that actually is not now needed anymore, it drops the belief system. Like snow in a summer day, uh, uh, in Texas. It just disappears in a second. It's really amazing when you see that. When I do it in a training and people are a little bit skeptical, just like you can be, because totally allowed to be skeptical. I was also when I somewhere quote unquote invented it based on being a psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist. And I saw it happening. Then sometimes I thought, you're kidding me. And then the next session, session, I ask, How's your belief? And I said, Chris, I don't know what you did, but it's still not there anymore. And I always ask them, are you saying that just because you like to be in the training? No, no, no, Chris, it's really true. You can ask my partner. I'm not lying. It's amazing how that works. Trauma. And when, of course, when I use trauma here, then all the, uh, coaches say, oh, we don't work with trauma, Chris, because that's where therapists. Now, a trauma is most times, a lot of times gut-brain oriented survival. It can also be heart-brain, betrayal, divorce, death of somebody, heart-brain. Thank you. Love to see you later on. If you have questions, just text me. Just do this free brain preference test. You can just sign up for 15 minutes, have a chat with me. Perfect. So a trauma is most times also stuck with your gut brain. It connects with it. But the gut, for a trauma, the same is as belief. PTSD, post-traumatic stress syndrome, only is there because we believe it's still there. War veterans still believe they're in the war. They still believe they're in Iraq. They still believe they're somewhere else. The time in the head actually is disconnected here. And the heart and gut still believe they're there. The moment, and of course it doesn't work for strong PTSD. Let's be honest in that part. But say for simple traumatic events, the same. If you explain the gut brain is not there anymore, it disappears like snow for the sun because it does not need the coping mechanism anymore. And the beauty is the good things of the coping mechanism. You can still stay because there's somewhere habitual. Part of you. Only the emotional connection with the belief or with the trauma are gone. Because the only thing we have to do, quote quote, only thing, is to release the emotional connection. Because we have a lot of memories without an emotion, they're okay. Only the emotion or sensation, in my words, the connection with the heart or the gut, makes it painful. The good thing is you don't have to be a therapist for this because we live in the present. I had an MCC coach in my training, 22 years already MCC coach, one of the first MCC coach and psychologist. And she was, when we were doing this and explaining this, she was looking at the course like this. I can tell you I got rather nervous because she was not observing. She was almost observing extremely. And after that she said, Chris, I have to say you something. And I have to say I'm coming a little bit sweaty. Oh shit, what is going to happen? Excuse my French. She said, Chris, Rest assured, what you did is MCC coaching. This is totally ICF approved. You did not go to the past, you stayed in the present and went to the future. This is freaking amazing. Awesome. I like to do it. Can I do the test with 2 of my clients? Because what I thought was true was actually there. So it's beautiful how you can do it. Number 4, what we discussed, you have to unblock them. Okay, if you unblock them, the only thing why we like to unblock them is actually do number 5, to create consensus between these 3 brains. The only thing we like to do actually in our coaching is that people can see the 3 different perspectives of the 3 brains based on their responsibilities, what their advice is to deal with the topic at hand. And a lot of times they have 3 different kinds of solutions. You think, if I think this through, Chris, I think we should go left. But if I would follow my heart, I would not do that because it, that it's a little bit detrimental for the people. If I follow my gut, I would actually say skip both of it and we just do, do another option because that brings the most bonus for me. The moment they become aware of it, they have something like, oh, Chris, I'm schizophrenic. I've got 3 different kinds of voices inside myself. I said, no, you're not schizophrenic. Actually, what you now show is that you have your 3 wisdom centers communicating with you. Now, the only thing we have to do is get those 3 voices aligned in a decision where all of them can say yes to. And when that happens, they outperform. And then you have a home run. You have the World Series done, you win the gold medal. So then you have one, an outperforming company. Secondly, you have people who are really engaged with the, with this company. And thirdly, you have strategically wise, a logical plan that everybody can follow. Whoever read or viewed the book Good to Great from the Gallup organization, can you still remember that they actually talk about servant leadership in there? Actually, when we talk about this is almost a little bit like servant leadership. You like to have success. You do it in a team and it is actually logical. So in this part, I don't say anything new, only I connected with the biology why it is easier to change. So, and there you are. So I know of time. If you like to know more, and I think Marta or Marie will send this as a PDF to all of you so you can also click it later. You just take your phone, you scan the code, and for €10 or €8, you have my book. That's the cheapest solution to learn more of this. And I'm Dutch, so we love gratis, we love cheap. So that's the cheapest one. If you like to do it and become embedded in your coaching, I would say follow my training. There's a gift for you because thanks to Marta and Marie, I'm here and I'm really grateful for that and that they Provide the opportunity. I said, you know, all those lovely people are there. I like to give them a little present. So this is the present I'd like to give you. And if you have questions now, we still have 10 minutes to do. And after that, stay connected. So is Noor. And by the way, if you didn't do the test, it's also there. And most important, don't forget the next retreat. Okay, so now we can go back to questions. What would you like to ask?

Questions? I've sent a PDF to all the participants here.

Awesome. Thank you, Marta. Who'd like to know something more?

So I have a question.

Please.

When you were showing one of those early slides about with the, with the A, B, C, or D options and the, uh, The, the, what was it, the gut that said, you know, it was option A. Yeah. I wonder how much, what immediately came to my mind when you presented that option was laws that we have here and that that would look discriminatory if you're letting all the, you know, the oldest folks go. How do you, how do you reconcile that with, you know, which brain is, is most appropriate?

The laws, of course, most times the head brain steps in. We cannot do that based on the laws. But if you look at the primary system of people, how they like to choose, it's there. But you're so right. I come from the Netherlands. We also have beautiful law systems there. And if you'd like to do it in Spain where I'm living now, you never saw so many red tape you have to jump through. So in that moment, you have those discussions. If you skip the red tape, yeah, and these are the primary questions they have, the responses they have. But you're so right. But when you talk about rules and systems, you talk about the head because actually a gut brain, um, I know it's always extremely careful. You have to be careful when you talk about politics. But if you now look at the presidential campaigns, there is a guy who loves to actually break all the rules and make the rules his. That's a gut brain attitude. Like gut brains don't like rules that are not made by them and don't serve them. And there's nothing wrong with that. Remember in soccer, and I love soccer, or in every other sport, if you always follow all the rules, it's really hard to be a winner sometimes. If you play by the rules of others, it's hard to win. So gut brain likes to make the rules by himself. Head brains follow rules. So if you like to be somebody in your team, make in charge of rules, make it a head brain person. They just follow really sweet all the rules. If you like that things happen and that you cut corners, make a gut brain person in charge. If you like the team exists after the whole operation, make a heart brain person in charge. So you can also connect to the situational leadership. You need different kinds of brains in different situations. And the real leader is actually who had that situational leadership and can jump in through all those different kinds of roles without feeling, say, it happened. Answered your question?

Yeah, that's helpful. Thank you.

Thanks for asking because it's so logical that sometimes I forget to mention it. So really, thank you for asking that.

I have a question, Christoffel. When we have the results and this scores are like distributed in a sort of balanced way between the 3 brains. What does that mean? How are we supposed to interpret that?

Oh, a good question. So yeah, so when one brain is dominant, you know, actually what's happening. Some people have, say, almost 35, 35, 35, and so one score coming in. Those people I love, they are really amazing. Why? From their perspective, they think they're extremely clear and extremely stable. And they, it all makes sense to them. For the outside world, they are absolutely not predictable, unreliable, and they don't know how to deal with them. Because one day they're gut, the other moment they're heart, and the other moment they're head. If they are in a leadership role and not aware of it, their team gets crazy. I've coached some of those leaders who had that score and their teams get totally crazy of it. Because they say one moment he's all about the numbers, the next day is come on, we have to get the, we have to get our sales done. And the next day he says, yeah, yeah, yeah, but we cannot push too hard because otherwise Peter gets a burnout. And really, it's like, what the fuck do you want? And then he says to me, I was going, Chris, but I'm extremely clear. And what's the issue? I said, you jump from logic too hard, too gut, and people don't follow you. They cannot, they cannot reach you. Helps, Marta?

Yes, thank you. That, that is, that is very good. I, I didn't expect that explanation. Great, thank you.

Something else you'd like to know in the last minutes we have? And of course, if you— I know some people say, oh, I don't like to dare to communicate in a whole group because Because maybe my question is not smart. Not smart. Yes, John, you take the words right out of my mouth. I would have loved to know, have known this in my first marriage. I have 3 of them behind me. So I would have loved to know what I know then. I said, if you don't dare to ask a question, the question pops up later. As you can see, I'm extremely passionate about it because If you know more about it, start using it, you will make your clients better. If you make your clients better, 3 brains aligned, the world becomes better. And if the world becomes better, my grandkids, your grandkids have still a world to live in. So if you have questions after this, you can always email me and I'll always give an answer.

There's, there is another question. There's another question in the chat. So what are the metrics of the suites?

Spot? Oh, that's good. In numbers, it's hard to give. So it's not something like this is the perfect score. It's much more the metric is if people can really listen to all their 3 brains and can pause before they make the decision. As an example, Sunday I hit my toe when I was doing something in the garden. My response was actually giving an a smack to what, where I hit my toe to. Result was I had a sore toe and a sore hand. That was not a sweet spot reaction. It was a gut response and really stupid. The better response is that it happens, you wait, pause half a second, think what's now the best way to respond so they can access all the 3 brains before they make a decision. And it means also they have an awareness of their, say, their own quote unquote limitations of What's in my life? What are actually my limiting beliefs? What are, say, quote unquote, the traumas that somewhere pushes me to the left or to the right? And can I play with them or can I play a role to let them be aside for this topic? Those people are in the sweet spot. That is what we called, I said, 30 years ago in the situational leadership, can deal with all the situations, are flexible in the different roles. But also they make aware this is the situation, so this is the behavior I need to choose for that. Yeah, in my case it was not hitting that thing, but it was just actually stepping back and looking what should I do now. What I did after, because I had a sore toe and sore hand. How can one use body-mind awareness so not To develop intent. Now, um, the easy— now, the easiest way, that sounds, that sounds rather horrible because they put an adjective for easy. The first thing, if you do already mindfulness or meditation, you actually can become aware what's happening inside you. When you start doing breathing, you can become aware actually, do you feel your heart? Do you feel your gut? Uh, without spoken mind is actually coming aware when you walk to, I always say, the kitchen or to the bathroom. That's where your gut brain also loves to step in to start coming aware. What kind of awareness do I have when you sit next to your partner, to your friends? Hey, what do I feel actually in my heart in that moment? When you're looking at an Excel sheet, start thinking besides, oh wow, or looking at me at your administration, except I don't like it. Okay, what is logical steps to do it? To start training those little things. There's an inner awareness because we all have those inner awarenesses. The only thing is, based on the law of association, don't listen to them. Just really start listening because we all have those sensations. I never saw a person who said, Chris, I don't have the sensations. I sometimes hear people, Chris, I don't hear my, I don't feel my gut brain. There's no word coming in. Most times that are massive heart brains with head brain in there. They are educated to put their own needs aside. The oldest in the family, the doers always expect the girls in the family have to take care of the brothers. So they learned actually always to be permissive and don't listen to their own needs. And they say, Chris, so I don't hear my gut brain. I said, now the next time you go to the bathroom, come aware how you make the decision to go to the bathroom because that's your gut brain telling you your bladder is full or your intestines are full. The moment you feel hungry, start listening with, hey, wow, you start communicating and really start connecting with that feeling. It's a basic feeling, but that feeling is really sensations. The moment you become really aware of it, what's happening, and then also become aware when it's about food, what does your gut brain or your stomach really say to you? What does it like to eat? That is interesting. Okay, sorry, Martha. Yeah, I keep on talking until Martha says stop. So it's totally easy for me.

No, no, we have some great questions.

in the chat from Nia. Nia asks, number 4 in our aligning step is unblock the brain so they can be a part of the conversation. I'm curious, the process of blocking primarily achieved through awareness building. What are the other key approaches to unblocking?

That's great. Awareness is one. So the feeling. The second one is there are some, I call it techniques or processes, how you can say Uh, release the limiting belief. That is a process that is described in my training and we do in the training. So there's a number of steps how we actually learn the heart or gut brain. It's in the past. We get permission to let it go. For the gut brain, it's a different kind of process, but also there's a process actually, uh, in my words, always say, um, getting back control, huh, for the gut brain when you have a painful thing, What do we like to do with pain? We like to push it away. The only way to get hold and to let go of pain is actually to hold it and then make a decision to let it go. So we first have to own it again. And that's also a process how we can coach people through the process to own, say, quote unquote, the experience again and let it go. So our techniques for that, coaching techniques, coaching protocols, whatever you like to call it. The, is the gut the whole physical body or literally intestinal gut? Now it's very easy. It's the start of the gut brain. The end I will not show you because I think then I get a slap from Marta if I show you. But I, I can imagine, I think you can imagine where it is.

Yes.

And everything in between is, it's almost like the sea cucumber inside us. So all and all the sensations, yes, there. Well, coaching to help clients learn into their strengths, um, is a different approach. No, strengths, positive psychology, and this have a lot of similarities because I don't talk about, say, what positive intelligence likes to do about saboteurs. We don't have saboteurs. Everything's coming from positive intentions. Nothing inside your body likes to sabotage you. It's just an old coping mechanism was 10 years really helpful, not anymore. Um, what we like to do is actually work to create better strengths. So not only one strength, but actually to connect the whole set of strengths. Because say my strength is the gut brain. I don't like to train the gut brain more. I like to train the heart brain and the head brain more. So it's making In my words, and it sounds sometimes condescending when I say it, make people more whole. So it's almost like a holistic approach lets people become whole. Use all the brains and bodies. Need to drop. Thank you. Oh, this is the question. Love to see you later, Theresa.

I'd like to, I'd like to thank you, all of you, for attending this wonderful presentation. Thank you so much, Christoffel, for being Here today, I'm preparing such an enriching presentation and subject. I wanna remind you, next webinar we have is by one of our attendees here, Sue.