Why You Don't Change Even When You Know the Answer How | 3 Brains Coaching | ICF Coaching Week 2026

So let's make it a beautiful session for all of us. Okay, so who is really in charge? I assume you all know this little iceberg theory. You have a conscious mind that's above the water, and you have a subconscious and even unconscious mind underneath the water. And in all the different kinds of things we had in the past, We always said, okay, 10% we are aware of, they can make choices, but actually the 90% is in charge of us. That's where our beliefs are living, our values are living, our experience are living, and yeah, it's subconscious or unconscious, so we cannot touch it. So then the question is actually, who's really, uh, how can we coach this? How can we actually change something that we are not aware of? I hear somebody background noise. So what I'm going to do for one moment, I mute you all, and then I know the background noise is gone. Yeah, the background noise is gone. And if you stop in, you just unmute yourself and just say something, ask something, share something, whatever you like to do. But really, who's in charge of us? And what does it mean for us coaches, leaders, clients, when we're not aware of what is in charge of us, but we as coaches like to help clients to change that? And for me, it always felt in the past, it's like being blindfolded and trying to find the exit. And the beauty is there is actually an answer how we can change that. And before we go in there, I assume you're all coaches or leaders or experienced. And if I look, say, the only people I see, and I'm not going to be rude, but I will be right away. I have gray hair. Claire has a little bit of gray hair. Tatiana, not. Betty also not, and Blythe's note-taker, I don't know. And the Anslav note-taker, I also don't know. But we have a lot of life experience behind us. And who of you finds themselves sometimes or more caught in patterns like perfectionism or trying to please everyone? Or struggling to set boundaries or say no, or even the other way, pushing through even when the body says no. Who of you has those experiences? And you can put it in the chat that you agree with it or not agree with it, or that you find yourself in there. And if you don't, I'll add some other ones: procrastination, neglecting self-care, feeling stressed or overwhelmed, or hesitation to ask for more clients or a raise. And it can also say, put in the chat if you never have this or never have this. If you, if you think this is totally alien for me, where are we talking about? Please put in the chat. I'm aware I'm, I'm not. And we're all now looking at the chat if somebody dares to put something in there. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Nobody says something there, so we can all recognize it. Okay, so then it makes me question if we stay in those patterns stuck sometimes, what makes it too hard to break free? That's one question. The other one, if we cannot solve it by ourselves or for ourselves, how can we actually coach others on this? If we cannot cure ourselves, is it then actually But sometimes my first doctor said he was 120 kilos. Do what I tell you, don't do what I do. Yeah. So actually follow my advices, but don't do what I do because I don't follow my own advices. And this is why, and I know it's rather hard, but how can we help our— how can we help others if we're stuck with the same problem? And we didn't find a solution for it. And that also always stuck me. And I thought, hey, I experienced something. I had a burnout more than 20 years ago. Okay, if I have a burnout, now what am I actually missing to really help other people? Because I was already 10 years in the, in the training world. And then I'm like, hey, I was a coach, I was helping people and I was not aware of what's actually happening. And it really set me off and that really spiraled my, now you could say my education and my training and my research from, hey, what is actually then stopping me from becoming where I want and how can I help others? Because if it happens to me, I can assume it happens to others. And although I felt on that moment, say, why they're not the best, it's not weakness, it's not a lack of discipline. What I came over here 20 years ago when I did my first somatic training, it's actually biology. On that moment, they did not have all the answers, but our biology was stopping us. Or at least me. And what I mean with biology, and if you know, not that Jana knows it, that we have 3 nervous systems or 3 brains, one in our head, as you know, one in your heart, and one in your gut. And we come actually deeper in that in the next slides. And they have their own neurons, their own brain cells, their own memory, and their own decision logic. And we also going to test that today a little bit. And based on the research I did, and that's what you actually also saw in previous presentations, 97% of us have a dominant brain, mostly one, and sometimes they're a little bit up, but only the third is almost not listened to and only 3% Of the 5,200, no, almost 90 tests I did, have a score where the 3 brains are almost the same. What means that our 3 wisdom centers are also able to talk and we can listen to them almost equally. And for now already, what does it mean when you have 3 brains? Just get the picture for one moment that you have 3 people at your table. at your dinner table and they're your advisors and actually make your decisions. What you're going to eat, what you're going to do, what you're going to dress, what you're going to say, etc. Now you have 3 people who decide for you and only one is really always making the decisions. The other 2 are not heard. How smart is that? I think everybody can agree that's not so smart, but that's actually what your 3 brains are. Your 3 brains are your 3 wisdom centers, your 3 wise men or females or transgenders or whatever binary, whatever you like to do nowadays. And they make your decisions. And if one is silent, that means that wisdom is not used for your Health, your success, your career, your life. And if you really like to go long-lasting change, that's what, what I researched in the last 20, 30 years. It happens only when your 3 brains agree. One brain is not strong enough. And for the people, I have it actually as my last slide, and I'm thought later on maybe I should have done my first slide. Who am I? Besides that, you know that I'm an MCC coach. I'm already 30 years in the field of leadership and coaching. I'm a coach, but I'm also a therapist, clinical hypnotherapist, psychotherapist, an NLP master, Reiki master, constellations, et cetera. I started massively to become aware of what makes people change. And in my roles, I'm also a visiting professor at Georgetown University. Mainly in Qatar or in that region. And just to give you a little background, who am I? So let's, let's go deeper in our self-analysis for a moment. Who of you ever made a decision, regretted that decision, and asked yourself, why did I not think this through? By the way, that's me. Yeah. I will always say if something happens, that's always the question I have. Why didn't I think this through? 2 months ago, I sold some shares because I thought, okay, with all the wars and all the things, it's better to sell them. And I came aware the part I sold actually went up 40% the last 1.5 months. I can tell you this sentence came to my mind almost every day because I did not do a really proper analysis because actually My two other brains were running the show. They were fearful. Oh wow, the stock exchange is going down. Next year I'm going to buy an apartment. I have to pay an apartment. Oh wow, I need money. And fear overtook my decision. Or who made the decision and said, ah, why didn't I follow my heart? Why didn't I follow my passion? Why didn't I just go for it? Or maybe Why didn't I listen to my gut feeling in this moment? I felt it in my stomach and I did not act on it. If there's somebody who never asked this question, then please put it in the chat. That's easier because if I ask who did it, then not everybody puts it in the chat. So if there's somebody who never had this question, put it in the chat or speak out. Okay, luckily there's a huge silence that makes it so much easier. Oh, so I spoke about biology, and the fact is, can we really change? And there's beautiful research done on identical twins, and the identical twins were actually split By birth or just after birth in the first one year of their life. And not before research, not because some researchers were really horrible, said let's split them up, but because, uh, war, uh, the, the parents were drug addict, all the kind of horrible things happened. And for that reason, the, the twins had to be split. Actually, it was a beautiful research luck of that because they could actually measure what is biology So what is hard to change and what can be changed? Where do we have actually power of as human beings? What I came aware of, and you know, an identical twin has the same DNA. Yeah. Just to make it really clear.

Yeah.

Because people say, oh, well, okay, luck, 2 brothers, 2 sisters. No, no, they are born with the same DNA. So if you would do a DNA test, When they are 80 years old, you still find the same DNA, the same, no difference in the DNA. Anyhow, what was the research that showed in the bodily characteristics? They find that the fingerprint is 97% correlation, almost the same. The height, 86% correlation, and the weight, 73%. So you see already, hey, there is a difference, although the DNA is exactly the same. They could have a bit different body posture, different height. That's interesting. So the DNA is not only in charge of that, even for the physical part. But now becomes really interesting. Let's look at the mental part. And then they came aware that in almost all the general things It was almost like flipping a coin. It was almost like yes or no, the correlation. One could have panic disorders, the other one not. One could be addicted, the other one not. One-third had depression, the other two-thirds not. Only psychophenica was really strong. So the conclusions of this research, and this is a long longevity research from 40 years onwards, Is actually that we have a massive power over our own mental decision-making, what we do and what we don't do, how we are and how we are not. So why is this so hopeful for us and for our clients? Because it means we can change. We're not born with it. As Lady Gaga is singing. We can change even if your DNA is exactly the same. The only question is, and that was a second part of the study, what makes people now change and not change? And there's a lot of research done, and people who have a desire to change actually is negatively correlated to the Possibility you change. If you have a desire, you hope that it will happen. It doesn't happen. If you have a strong belief, it will happen. The chance it will happen is there. But now the part is beliefs. How easy can we change those? And where are they stored? And we're going to test that later on. How easy you as a coach or leader can change your beliefs. And I'm looking forward to the test already. I almost like to skip in those slides just to make you feel extremely curious. Let's use that word. And let's come back why it's so hard. Let's first do some science and then we do the exercise. Research shows the first 7 years of your life are almost 90% foundation of what you are doing later on. Uh, Bruce Lipton, a stem cell biologist, also put it there. What's the reason for that? And I will ask you a simple question: when do we learn as, let's say, kids what is next week and what is last week? When did we really become aware of the, of the cause and effect Last week, next week. When, when do we learn it as kids? Because we're not born with what is next week and this week. When, at what age, on somewhere do we get that notion what is next week or this week? Tatjana knows it because she followed the training. Now she's silent. I think, hmm, let's not right away give an answer. But if you know it, you can put it in the chat. Come, come, come, a little bit active. I know it's a, it's a Wednesday morning, but You like to learn? Show it. I can play this the song Sound of Silence. Nobody knows it. Are you all coaches and leaders? Come, come, come, come, come. Wow. Okay, it's the age of seven. I will tell you between five and nine, mostly around seven, we learn what the concept is of time. Why is it so important when we talk about the first 7 years and about beliefs? So just imagine you're, say, 4 years old, or a kid that's 4 years old. Let's not make it personal. They're having breakfast and their parents are, say, or one of the parents is really stressed. Let's make it daddy for the easiness. Otherwise, the gender-neutral talk makes it hard sometimes. Daddy is really stressed and it says during breakfast, you know, I've got an extremely important meeting today and a lot of business is important for that. And maybe my promotion next year is on stake for that. And I'm going with the boss to a client and totally stressed. Kisses everybody goodbye, goes to work. In the evening, he comes home. And the little kid of four is totally happy. Hey, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! And Daddy says, "Oh, did you clean up your room?" No. Okay, go clean up your room. And the kid says, "But I cleaned up my room." Okay, then didn't do properly. Do it again. What on that moment does the child think? This is really important. Does it think, Daddy said this morning there was a lot of stress, maybe it went wrong, therefore he's now, say, angry on me? Who thinks the kid will think this? Raise hands, say something in the chat. You think that, Tatjana? Oh, you have to do the course again. The kid does not think that because it does not have the concept of time. It will think on that moment, oh, Daddy is not happy with me because I didn't clean my room good enough. I already said I cleaned my room, but he believes I didn't do it good enough. Oh, maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm not good in cleaning. And a kid will take that as a learning. So in the first 7 years, before we know the cause and effect analysis, everything that happens in the moment gets installed in the moment. We cannot rationalize all the things our parents, sisters, brothers, teachers did. Therefore, the first 7 years, actually, it gets rather stored in what we learn. Therefore, 90% of our actions are actually coming from our first 7 years. Makes sense what I'm saying? Everybody still on board? If not, just put it in the chat. I know everybody's a little bit silent. I don't know if you had your coffee today or it's just a Wednesday, more Wednesday day, because you're so silent. I get nervous almost, and I don't get so many times nervous.

Anyway, I can also say, Chris, I once heard that what is actually— I heard it with 5 years— what happens before you're 5 years old, it's like it's carved in a stone.

Yes.

Later on, what happens in life, It's like writing on a chalkboard. You can write it, you can wipe it away, you can rewrite it, you can always change it. But before that, that stone-carved picture kind of stayed in my mind.

That's a beautiful analogy. Thank you for sharing, Tatjana. That's a beautiful one. And it's actually partly true in that part. And now another thing, before year 3, it's even worse because before year 3, our brains are not developed. And Just to ask you a question, and then maybe get the concept of this, why Tatjana just said, who has a memory before the age of 3? Claire has one. Tatjana has one. Do you have full memory or just a little glimpse of something extremely happy or extremely painful? Is it a normal day or is it something more emotionally charged? Emotionally charged, yes. Yes, Benan also. Okay, so we don't remember the normal thing. So now I'm going to ask a question. The answer is no, by the way. I know you don't answer to me, but the answer is no. So if we don't have a real memory before the year of 3, only 3 had it here, we saw here, is it allowed to abuse our kids, to put them in cold water, to give them slaps, to forget to give them food? The answer was no. So although we don't remember, we do remember. That's what the German mentioned is carved in stone. We do remember, only we cannot access our memories from that moment. And that's because, and it's already the first part, the first 18 months of, of say, after being conceived, that is 9 months in mama's belly, 9 months out of my belly, your brain is growing with 250 million neurons connections an hour. This one grows massively. And it makes sense because if this size would be born by my mama, my mama would've hated me, although she loved me, because this cannot come out of a mama head, a mama. And so our brain is smaller. It grows massively. And the first 3 years, our brain, it keeps on growing. 5,000 to 15,000 connections every brain cell has, and it has to grow up to 3 years. that is being laid down. After year 3, it gets pruned in optimal condition. So after year 3, it's pruned back, it comes, it's optimized. Therefore, the first 3 years we don't remember so massively here, only some really highly emotional effects. But we do remember them. Because there is research done about, say, insecure attachment. Kids who have an insecure attachment have more anxiousness, are more bullish, or actually are totally disorganized in their decision-making. So we do remember. So the question is, where do we remember that? If it's not in your beautiful head, where do you remember that? And then the answer comes, what I said, In your heart or in your gut. We have 3 biological centers. The head brain, we know this one, and that's the one that has future and past. That's the only part of your body that knows tomorrow and yesterday. So if you have a post-traumatic stress syndrome, actually a part in your brain is, say, almost stuck in time. That's what we call post-traumatic stress syndrome. And it knows, of course, language. It's the only part that can actually create words. We have a head brain, we have a heart brain, discovered in '94 by Dr. Andrea Moore, the cardiologist. 40,000 neurons. And what does your heart do? It's about connection. It has a huge allergy for rejection. And the question is actually, will it be accepted? Does it honor my values? And if people think, how does that work actually? Now, who of you ever had a broken heart? Why do we have a broken heart and not a broken head? Because your heart actually can release oxytocin. That's the love hormone, the bonding hormone. And when that is taken away, your heart feels it. And in heart transplant research, so people got a heart transplant and it's researched, you see that almost all of them have a different kind of memory system, different kind of Habits or different kind of likes or dislikes. Everybody with a heart transplant has actually some behavioral change or has some change because the heart has actually a memory. The third brain, and that's, I would say, always I say the most beautiful brain, that is your gut brain. That's the oldest brain. We all started like this. Every living organism started as a digestive system. And who of you saw ever the movie Avatar, or maybe The Matrix? Okay, so that's beautiful. And you see how they are connected then. Where are we connected to Mama? In the belly. When we are connected to Mama in the belly, where's our connection point? Like in Avatar, in our head, or in Or the matrix? No, it is that little thing there somewhere in your belly, isn't it? What we call belly button. Why do you think it's your belly button that is connected with Mama? Why is it in your belly, the connection? And why not in your head or in your heart? I mean, that's the most important thing. Because we can only survive if nutrition comes in. We are actually digestive, built around digestive systems. Every living organism, even a bacteria, is actually an organism that where nutrition goes in and waste material goes out. If you think about the average oyster or mussel, it's almost like a gut brain. It filters water, gets our nutrition, and that's it. It does not have a heart. It does not have a head. So next time you eat a mussel or an oyster, come aware, okay, you eat just, say, digestive system. If you still like them now, have fun. I still like them, by the way, hoor. But isn't it amazing that an oyster survives already for millions and millions and millions of years without a head, without a heart? So is that really needed to have a heart and a head to survive in this world?

No.

Many species don't have a head or a heart and survive. They can find predators or can escape from predators, close their shell in case of an oyster. They can find food. They know how to reproduce. They know all those little things. They have an immune system. And that's actually what's happening from your tongue to your, the spot you sit on in this moment. Because where is our immune system mostly located in humans? In our humans, where's our immune system located? In our head?

No.

In our heart? No. Where is it? Oh, it's in your gut. It's in your— there's an immune system. Why is it there? Because it was, we are built from that system as an independent system. And as I said, when you think about those 3 brains and you see what is their core objective, is this logical? Do I stay connected? Can I win? Can I survive? Just imagine that one of those is your most dominant voice. Or you think about logic, or you think about, do I stay connected, or is it about me and do I win? If that's your main voice, this is how your life is run. You become owner or a chief financial officer or an IT nerd, or you become a beautiful coach or a nurse, or you become, say, a CEO or a president of A country or a top sporter. You have to make it extremely black and white. But you also right away see the pitfalls if you don't use all 3 of them. So let's a little bit go in deeper. What are their strengths and pitfalls? And then we do the exercise because then you know everything and then we're going to have fun. So what's the strength of the head? It's strategic, it's factual, it's logic, it's analytical. You can read it. What's the pitfall? Too critical, too judgmental, following procedures, perfectionism. So everybody, when I said who sometimes has perfectionism or those kind of stuff, hey, your head is actually running in the pitfall. And what's the energy? To be wrong or have their knowledge or work criticized. When you think about the heart, It's empathic, team player, enthusiastic, optimistic, persuasive, courageous, smiles. Do you already recognize yourself? Because most coaches have a heart-brain dominance in their score. In the previous presentation I did, I shared all the numbers in the data analysis of 5,000 tests. And you see that Coaches, if it's a life coach or a business coach or an executive coach, they all have their heart brain on average as the highest score. And that means we also sometimes we are too naive, too optimistic, too trusting, can't say no or have clear boundaries because we're there to help others. We listen to a story of a client, although we know the story from 10 other clients and we still think it's interesting. That's our strengths. Bodies are really allergic to get confrontation, rejection, or being seen as unfair. You cannot hurt a heart more than reject it. The gut, that's— I would always say that's the winner. It's decisive. It pushes through all the things. is goal-oriented, big picture, competitive, risk-taking. But it's also egocentric, impatient, focused, lacking empathy, escape or attack, and manipulative. Do you recognize your average president of your country in there? Kidding. What's the energy? Weakness, saying sorry, or being dependent on others? So now think again, if one of these brains is running your life, this is actually what's happening with you. These are actually why you sometimes don't succeed. That my head, my score was heart, gut, and my lowest score was head. Therefore, I, I had the question sometimes, shit, I should have thought about this longer. Therefore, I trained myself to bring the head up in the scores to get a more balanced scorecard in that part. That my head is part of my decision-making before I do something. Okay, I have to say, 2 months ago with my shares, that part was a little bit out of whack. I could luckily a couple of days later do a little bit smarter, but still, damage was done. But I came aware again, if you don't have all 3 there in a decision, it can cost you in this case money. But it can also cost you health. If your heart is the most important one, and you just have to read the book from Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No, you're prone to burnout and to chronic diseases because you put all your energy in others instead of yourself. Because if you don't listen to your gut where your immune system is located, and you should press your gut where your immune system is located, what will happen? You see, Beep. You know the answer probably. Recognizing the dominant part that's the brain that has been running you. So let's now do the proof of the pudding. This is now, now becomes fun. And by the way, now I really love that you start doing something in the chat. So just imagine for a moment, and you're all coaches or leaders, so you know role play. We now do a role play. You are manager of a company in a company. The company is making a severe loss, and there's an urgent need to take action on that. Otherwise, horrible things happen. The board—you're not part of the board. Your manager decides minimum of five employees of your department should make redundant. All your ten employees have the same level of competences. Based on this text and this information, Which option would you choose? You see already option B, because that runs wrong. Option B is actually you let go of the 5 younger employees as they will easily find a new job based on their age and experience, meaning everybody has employment. Option A, what actually should be the first one, you let go of the 5 older employees. It's the best choice for production because the job is physical. Based on their age, we can assume that these 5 employees will never find a job again. This will have severe negative effect on their income and finances. Option 2. Option 3, you go for LIFO, last in, first out. It's not age-related. 5 employees have already worked for more than 15 years for the company. The 5 others joined the last 2 years and everybody thought the company would have massive growth, but didn't happen. Means your team will have 3 older and 2 younger employees. That's option 3. Option 4 or D, you prefer to think over the options and probably talk with your team about it. Okay, in the chat, which option do you choose of these 4? A, B, C, D. Okay. Options in B, D, C, C, C, D, D, C, C, D, D, D. One says B. Tatjana. Ah, Tatjana. Oh, you're such a sweetie. Ah, Dongwei. Dongwei. Dongwei. I don't know who you are, Dongwei, but you did something amazing. Of course, I will not ask you the next slide. Who of you choose A? Dong and also Benan did that. 2 choose A. Why do I ask that? Because now, something happened. Option A is actually the only option I gave. That addresses the company urgent loss, that gives you information about it. The slide talked about severe loss, urgent action, 5 of the 10 have to go, and they all have the same competence. That was the text. Severe loss, urgent action is needed. Option B, C, and D answered the question about the employees, not about the consequences of the company. Only option A gave you an insight that this is actually having an improvement because it's the best choice for production. What happened? Your 3 brains rewrote the question or the answer. In milliseconds, your own values, belief, protection reactions stepped in and influenced your decision. It's not wrong. This is your biology working. So let's do it again. Let's see if we learn. So this is the same ABCD, same text, same course, severe loss, instant action. Let's see it again. Let's vote again. Now you know it. Who's going to choose A? Are you going to choose A? Samia still sticks with D and still C and D and C and D. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I love you all. You know that I still choose D, Alice. Okay, I love your stubbornness. I could use a different word for it, but that's okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, I'm, I'm making fun of you because this is what happens to all of us and I point my fingers at myself. What do you notice inside if I say you have to go for A? You still stop. You know the answer. This is the good answer. And still you don't do it. I gave you there the answer. The answer is A. And still you choose, most of you choose B, C, or D. Why is that? Your 3 brains are disagreeing with each other. And probably your heart or your gut says, I'm not going to get rid of the older employees and Good from whose point of view, Amanda? Also from yours. The company will go bankrupt. That means everybody gets sacked. Everybody is unemployed. Welcome to the real world. What happens here? And we can have a huge discussion, but the discussion is now about your beliefs. The discussion is about your values. And those stop actually the action here. And of course you can say this is a crappy example, but this is actually the example where it's about, huh? You just did what many of your clients are doing. You have the awareness, you know what to do, they are motivated, and still nothing happens. One or 2 brains are pulling them back. Not if all the put up. Yes, I know, Amanda. And sometimes when happen, I know. But I told you one thing, and that is where we are about. Based on this text and this information, which option would you choose? I didn't ask based on your values, your experience as a manager, as a leader, as a coach, as a human being. As an amazing person, what do you believe is the best? I didn't ask you for that. I asked based on this text. What we cannot stop is our— is our— what we cannot stop— oh, is there still a stop share? Oh no, share is there. You still see the slide? Because I now clicked it out. What happens is that our beliefs, our 3 brains stop it. We can discuss the content of the exercise, and maybe you're totally right. It's not about that. It's about how do we make decisions and what is stopping you from making a decision? Because this is the whole crux of our job as a coach. That's the whole crux of the job as a leader. Can we make a decision that's the best based on the information I have? Can I trust my heart or my gut in this decision when they have a different opinion? Can I have that internal awareness of it? And that's what makes the difference. You all know X, formerly known as Twitter, isn't it? Do you know who bought that? I think we all know Elon Musk. Elon Musk, where is he famous for besides X and Twitter? Oh, he has Tesla and he has SpaceX and he has some other companies. And is he not the richest man in this world? Yes. So you could say he's rather successful, isn't it? When he bought X, what happened with the value of X? It dropped 70%. So even though he's freaking amazing, awesome in a lot of companies, he actually financially screwed up with X. So all our experience and knowledge doesn't mean we always make the right decision. And that's where we here talk about. It is actually putting your 3 brains in. He put in his experience in there and did not do all his 3 brains in there. What is actually different here? Because he did not build up the company from scratch. He bought an existing entity. So having said this is what happens to us and what happened to you. And we have given that change a lot of names that we don't go through. Discipline, grit, motivation is never one of those. No, you don't change. Why don't we change? Because if you cannot change and if we cannot change in 60 seconds, that little exercise we did with full awareness in a webinar without any consequences, you don't get sacked, you don't get promotion, you don't get a bad appraisal, you don't get slapped, you don't have to sleep on the couch. This hypothetical decision, if you cannot change from that moment, Then how can your client, your employee, your colleague change over something that really matters, right? Their job, their career, their money, their relationship, their marriage. When there's pressure, the answer is 3 brains alignment. If your 3 brains are in It makes the difference. That's what you just experienced. And you can disagree with me, that's totally okay. But you just experienced that you cannot change even though you know the answer. And that's what happens with all our clients and with me. Yeah. Hey, I proved it 2 months ago with my shares. And I already teach this 8 years. Just like Tesla, I made the wrong decision, or Elon Musk, although my loss was not so much as Teslas. We're talking about thousands of euros, not about billions. So then we come back to what do we mostly do as coaches and as leaders and actually in life? We do give the classic advice that works perfect for toddlers. And what is it with toddlers? How many times does a toddler have to fall down before it can stand or walk? Who knows the answer? You can put it in the chat. How many times do they have to fall down? Oh, by the way, now I see the chat because based on— but the change would have been aligned to who I am. Politely disagree. Change that we want to change, not to become someone who isn't aligned with our values. Hundreds, many times. Okay. The answers before that, I will come back to it. Now I see them. Excuse me, I didn't respond to those. I love your responses, by the way. But yes, kids have to fall down 1,000 times before they can stand only. And by the way, you know what's funny about values and beliefs? Of course, we think that is who we are. But actually, are you born like that?

No.

No, your values are actually how you are raised and how your 3 brains are more trained and educated. That's why I picked through the best choice for business. I think that's true, but it does not give any answer if your answer will be good. It was based on this text. So By the way, the funny part is, Catherine, I just have to respond to it. You say option both for people but also the business. Where do you start with in your sentence? First the people, then the business. So even in your sentence, you show your preference, and that's totally okay. Yeah, I don't argue with it. It's more how hard changes, how hard we can change our own beliefs And values are more strong, but values are also inherited and changed and taught. They're coming from your parents and your environment because we have cultural values. If you're born in the Netherlands like I, I have Dutch values. Now, what means Dutch values? You put your parents in an aged care center. That's the values we have in the Netherlands. I live now in Spain, in Madrid. What are the values there about your parents? You take them in your house. So don't say you are your values. Your values is where what you're taught and where you feel comfortable with. Because now I live in Spain, which values should I actually adapt? Should I keep my Dutch values, putting parents in aged care centers? Or could I adapt the Spanish values, keep the parents At home, in your home, because which values are better in that part? No, they're actually how we are raised and what we think. No, you are not your values. You live your values based off your philosophy, Kathleen. That is totally okay to disagree because you are not your values because they evolve. You are not what you are. Now, that's a different kind of philosophy question. I'd love to discuss it later with you or see your insights and see where it's coming from. Anyhow, toddlers, they fall down 1,000 times. So that means if we give advice to a client to change, and we say, practice this behavior, make your action plan, do it for the next 30 days. Research shows actually That 90% stops in 2 weeks and they don't do it. Just like we now have discussions about your values and beliefs and we don't get an answer on that because Kathleen believes A, I believe B, and no, we don't find a conclusion in that. It's hard to change. Then the funny part is that I was just teasing you, Kathleen, by just disagreeing. What happens if I disagree? You said, I disagree and I think values can evolve, but you are still your values. I disagree. Sure. Why do I tease you? Because in this moment you step in defense. And when we are in defense, we stop learning. Because you don't ask a question. I don't ask a question. I don't ask, hey, where's that coming from, Katherine? You don't ask, hey, Chris, where's that coming from, Chris? On that moment, actually, one of our brains stops learning. Hence, change stops because we get an emotional part in our disagreement. Your heart or your gut steps in, they get emotional, and poof, the learning stops and the change stops. So what we did as an amazing thing together, high five for that, Kathleen, is proved actually how we actually stop change by getting emotional, getting stepping back in our values. So thank you for that. I'm not emotional though. That's okay. It's okay to disagree on that part. Then it's on the head. That's also okay. And still not a question. And that proves my point. Please don't tell me how I feel. That's not okay.

That's okay.

And now we are where we are. My excuses, Kathleen, but we just proved actually what stops learning. What we just did together stops learning. So thank you so much for being, say, um, not ask or volunteer for that. I'm just going to head off. Thank you. Now this is what happens with clients. This is what happens when we stop actually from our 3 brains. And I'm sorry that she steps off, but it's actually the proof the pudding is the eating. And it's not happy, but this is what happens with clients. This is what happens when one of her 3 brains stops. And I didn't ask permission for Kathleen. So in that part, I'm sorry, but this is what happens. So if you like to experience it, Let's do a little exercise to come back in our own state. Can we not be in a position to understand what you're saying, but after reflection disagree? Absolutely, we can logically disagree. But say if the facts are different Are we willing to change our position? Or are we are we willing to ask a question? So he actually is there. Kijk, I said A. The other person said B. The only question to find each other is to ask questions where we are coaches are amazing in. So van hey Kathleen, I hear you say that or person A, I see you. Where's it coming from? What are the facts or ideas or beliefs that that give you this? So I really start understanding the other person. And from that position, I can learn and I can adjust my own opinion, or based on that, I can ask other questions. So you're totally right. But the moment we don't ask questions anymore, but we stay in our position, we're not willing to learn, actually change stops. That's what, that's the whole point. Change stops when we don't like to learn anymore, when we stick in our position. And when we stick to facts, now why do we stick to facts even though we hear that our other facts could be true? And I call it emotion. It is because one of your other brains steps in. Because just, just think about it, why would you not like to learn a different opinion? Is that just imagine, let me come back to, to, to, I do a stop share for a moment. It is really important. Just imagine for a moment you're in the savannas. There are lions there and all the kind of things that like to eat you. Would you be willing to learn if somebody says there could be lions there? Absolutely, because it's survival. Learning helps you to survive better. Only we don't have lions in this world anymore. Now we still have, but not in our work. Learning diminishes the, diminishes your risk of being, of failure, of losing, of getting eaten. Learning helps you to survive better. So the moment we stop learning, we actually diminishing our survival. And it happens with all of us. And so that's the whole point behind it. So I totally agree. Based on facts, we can disagree. But the fact that we are not willing to learn from each other means there is another brain involved in there. And I call it emotional. And some people say, now that's how you feel. And other brain steps in. That's actually the whole point about it. And we just proved it. And I know most coaches don't like confrontation. So what just happened, or most people feel uncomfortable with, but this happens in real life. This is how your coachee maybe doesn't get a promotion. That's how they get sacked. That's how divorces happen. Because we stop somewhere learning, and I know it's not happy. I know it's not fine, but this is real life. So I'm grateful and not grateful for the the live demonstration we had that I didn't ask for, but it shows actually some really important points in how we learn. So a little exercise, and now to come aware how your three brains talk. So a little exercise. First, I'd like all of us to get back in our state because if we still are thinking about what happened in the past in this webinar, then some, some of us still feel, hey, our 3 brains are not there. So I just invite you for a moment to put your feet on the floor. Yes, Sarah, already. Ah, Sarah is already doing it. Good. Hi, Tena, you too. Because when we are a little bit stressed, our body gets stiff. So I just invite you to stretch yourself out a little bit, and just for a moment then, I invite you, and probably you know it, to do belly breathing. And belly breathing is doing it using your diaphragm and really expand your belly while you inhale. And then when you inhale, actually, I would say inhale in 3, 4, or 5 seconds depending on your own speed. But when you exhale, take more time. Take 6, 7, or 8 seconds. So 1, 2, 3 in, then 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 out. What you now do actually is synchronizing your 3 brains again by giving signals through your sympathetic and parasympathetic nerve system. Every inhalation means signaling goes to your sympathetic nerve system, what is also fight and flight called. Every exhale is activating or is sending signals through your parasympathetic nerve system, but actually is what they call popular rest and digest. But taking that one longer than the other, your system slows down again. And Tatjana Gornik, I see your point in chat. Amazing point. That's why orcas have survived all change. They are known for constantly learning new hunting techniques. Yes, that's true. I don't know if you, if you know orcas, the beautiful white-black whales. They're amazing, beautiful in my opinion, but they are horrible hunters. They are cruel, but so extremely efficient and successful. Don't watch it on YouTube. I can tell you, if, if you're sore, if you're a little bit, say, soft, weak like me, because you don't like to see how they hunt, but they do it amazingly because they learn massively. Yes. Adaptation. Yes. Apex predators, but highly emotional as well. Yes. They also grieve when one of the group is dying and all this kind of stuff. Their emotion In my opinion, they're beautiful animals. And yeah, they are extremely perfect in what they are meant to do. But if you are a little seal, then you are not happy with them. So this is actually how you can get your 3 brains back in place again. So if we go back, and now I'm going to play screen. I do share. We come back to the screen. I can make— I should make— be able to make this bigger. Full screen. Entire screen. So you see now the full screen again? Yes. Thank you for the connection, Samir, because now I know I did a good thing. That's clear. I know, I know IT, but the new Zoom I have an issue with. So when does change really happen? When your 3 brains agree, when your head can say, I thought through consequences, it makes sense and agrees with logic. Then your head is in, your heart is in and say, hey, my new behavior will be appreciated. It strengthens my bonds. I have no fear of rejection. And strengthen my bonds, you also say it connects to my values. When the gut says, I feel safe and ready to act, I have something positive to gain, and I agree with the what and the why. If your 3 brains can answer those questions positively, change happens. One brain saying yes is a wish. 3 brains saying yes is change. So what we already said there, our dominant brain or dominant brains, some people have 2 more dominant, has been there for 20, 30, 40, 50 years. So if you don't listen to the other 2, the same conversation will be there. The same clients have their own issues and will still hitting the same ceilings. They will not get where they want to get. They will not become the best manager, the best leader, or they will not get a promotion. And the same restructuring will fail the same way. In other things, in other presentations, I showed that actually culture change projects only have a success rate of maximum 41% according to McKinsey, Boston Consulting Group, and all the kind of research. And the same relationships patterns will repeat themselves over and over again. Now, what's the solution? Knowing your dominant brain is not the only thing that changes it. It is listening to the other 2 and bringing them on board. We need 3 to change. Your 3 people on the table where we started with, they all have to speak out loud and say, yes, we are in. Then it will happen. And just one slide from a previous presentation. Um, if you didn't see it, artificial intelligence, ChatGPT, Claude, Grok is actually already doing 90% what we can do in the transactional part of coaching. What AI does brilliantly, and if you are willing to see the whole presentation, you can come, I think tomorrow. Tomorrow I do the presentation about AI because clearly I'm actually a tech smart guy, although it didn't show now. Language patterns, it outperforms us. Pattern recognition, it knows it because everything can be uploaded in ChatGPT, Claude, or whatever. And they know thousands and thousands and thousands of coaching speeches, of conversations, cognitive reframing on demand, pattern recognition. And by the way, they're always available and infinitely patient, and they probably don't and piss off people like I just did or make them really feel uncomfortable because that's not what AI is taught to do. The confrontation is not an AI quality so much, even if you train it in there. What can we do? What can we bring to the table what AI cannot copy is our heart and God presence. If we bring in our whole system, They can do something else. Co-regulation, embodied presence, sensing what's absent or decent. And what I mean, sensing what's absent or defended— who of you ever came into a room where people were and you felt the atmosphere? Yes, like, hey, something happened in this room. I see Samia nodding her head. Thank you. This is actually what AI never can do. This is a human skill where in training, and I talk more about how we do that, but that's a human skill we can train. And what actually makes a huge difference, sensing the energy, calibration real, and holding the space of not knowing. Yeah. Because we can be 10 minutes, 10 minutes silent, just letting the client be there and talk about it and have his emotions. We can respond when the client gets emotional in a different way than AI can do. You're not being replaced as a coach. AI is pushing us to be better coaches, to use our 3 brains and be fully present, be in whole person coaching. And as you just experienced, knowing is not a change. Because I assume you could have read about the 3 brains. Now, now you know about 3 brains, polyvagal theory, maybe, maybe you did somatic coaching, maybe you did NLP, maybe you did something else. But the question is, how much did you embody it? And how did you make— and how much did you make it your habit? Kijk, wat ik zeg, ik did. I'm an NLP master. I'm a Reiki master. I did constellations, et cetera. Almost everything is in my training, so I train it. I do my extreme best to live it, although I still mess up sometimes. But most people also based on the repetition curve you saw and the learning curve know it. But it did not become doing it. It did not embody. One brain learning does not mean we do it. And one brain learning can be, you can put it in your somatic brain, you can put it in your head brain. It doesn't mean you learn it right away. So I'm just having a question for you. You now know the power of your 3 brains and what can happen. You know the exercise and we know the discussions about it. My question is, how are you going to use the embedded? I'm going to be brutal again because my passion is that you become the best you can be. And why am I so brutal? Not because I like to teach you, because I really hate toxic leadership. I really hate what's happening in the world. I really hate that kids get bullied at school. I really hate that. And the only way to stop it is if we really start using our 3 brains and become, say, human full beings, not only logical, not only gut brain, not only heart brain, but all 3 of them. So I love that you become the best you can be because everybody you coach then become the best to be. And all those little drops of us somewhere will make this world a better place so that your kids, my kids, my grandkids, your grandkids live in a world that is better than we found it. And that's my real big wish. That's why I'm sometimes so brutal or so confrontational. I love that people never forget it. And so option A, you did this webinar, you know it, and this is my assumption. I know it's an assumption. So an assumption makes an ass of me and me. Probably in 2 weeks you fall back here, old doing, and it's okay. And the 3 brains become something you know. Oh no, I did the brain. I did your webinar two years ago. Still knows. Do you have three brains? Oh yeah, you got three brains. That's great. Now it also with NLP sometimes. Or you can really say, I'm going to embody it. But really do it if you want it. I love to help you to become the best you are. Therefore, for everybody who is in this webinar, you can use a discount code to get one hundred eighty-five euros off my training. And why do I love to do that? Because I really love to get the best there. And by the way, if you need to renew your ICF accreditation, you right away tick the boxes. All done. 40 CCUs. That's my thing for you. And in 2 months' time, you're just as good as Tatjana. She did my training 2 years ago and she made a beautiful decision 3 years ago. Oh, sorry. She made a beautiful decision to move from Germany back to, I say, Croatia or Serbia. But now I'm— you moved back again? Okay.

Yeah.

She moved back and forth. Okay. She moved back and forth. I missed one step. But she chose, say, for happiness in her life instead of the job she was in. These are the training dates. I start 3 weeks from now or 6 weeks from now. It fits all the time zones. You use the code and you get poof so much off. And it's amazing. And if you, you know, so Tatjana, her last name is really something I still have issues pronouncing, Kordika, but you know her now. So you can just find her on LinkedIn and ask her, is she always like this in the training or is the training good? And she can give you an honest answer because of course I will say it's amazing, but that is asking the priest if you believe in God. That's, that's there. But make our day the best, make our clients the best we can be. If you like to have—

Feel free to reach out.

Yes. If you like to have a cheaper option, just read one of our books. You come, you get more knowledge of 3 Brains. It's the price of a cup of coffee in the center of Madrid. In Paris center, you can buy 2 of our books. I came over when I visited Paris and I thought, what, what coffee? So much? I will, I will drink it by the drop. Or, and if you like, there's the cheap option, the Dutch option for free. You do the 3 Brains Test, you get the profile back and you know already which brain of you is actually making your life great and also which brain probably is not part of your life and some, and puts you in all those things that happened in your life. For me, it's all good. I don't say you have to follow my training. I love that you develop yourself, become the best you can be, because we as coaches and leaders who are here and other people are needed in this world because we are willing to learn. We are willing to help other people to become better. So please keep developing yourself. As Steve Jobs said, stay foolish, stay hungry. This is the end of my presentation. If you have questions, if you like to know something more, if you like to discuss, will you be able to have access to the recording? Yes, of course. Probably not this week because this week I'm a little bit busy with all these kind of things and I still have to coach some people. I came over here, I did not think about that, had brain low. that I should put them in next week. But I will have the recording because that's recorded. I will send them all out to you, the recording and the link. And probably I will put them in an invisible YouTube, YouTube place so you can find them in YouTube invisible. So there's a link that's only for you, or maybe on my website, depends what's easier, but you can find it there. Because for me, if I share this and you've learned from it, it's already a good thing. I love that you are here because that's a beautiful compliment for me that you are willing to listen to me for 1 hour and do all those things. So thank you so much for being here. And if you have questions, and I always say that because some people have, oh, they finish this thing that happens to me sometimes. I finish a webinar, I think after, I want to ask this. You can always email me. I will always answer because as I said, my passion is to make you the best because if you become the best, your clients become the best, you become happy. And actually, if you do a great job, my kids will maybe find a company that you coach that is really happy to work for. So it helps also me. It helps all of us. So everybody, where you're coming from, have an amazing Wednesday. It's Wednesday. If you like to see the other presentations, tomorrow is about AI and Friday is about the data or the other way around. I don't know about the 5,200 tests I did. And also Leonie was in this presentation. If you look at it, she also did my training. You can also ask her if you don't like to ask Tatjana, if, or if you miss her last name, Kordiki. Kidding. So thank you so much. Are there questions? Or like, do you like to jump in?

Chris, I have a— can you hear me? I have a question. Hey, Sui! Amazing. Amazing. Sorry, I've had my camera off because I'm in the car, but I've stopped, which is amazing.

So It's good that you came up, otherwise they would feel fearful about your safety.

Great, thank you so much. I love that, and I've been keen to hear you for many years. I am keen to dive in, but at some point— but my question really is, listening to what you said, there was a lot there. As a, as a kind of first-time listener, although so much of it makes sense, Where would be like, just from now, if I was to literally action a couple of things in coaching sessions in the next couple of weeks, what would you say would be the best place to start for me?

Uh, so great question. Really, this is a great question. So everybody who's still here, listen. What is the biggest breakthrough for clients if you listen to them? Then somewhere you will probably get an idea if they're more logical talking, more emotional talking, or more about themselves talking. Dropping in the question, just imagine for a moment, dear client, that you would just follow your heart. What would you do? Or drop everything and you would just follow your gut feeling. What would you do? You will become aware that, or you say to me, hey, Chris, just imagine you drop all your beautiful feelings for a moment and you would think it through before you make a decision.

What would you do?

Then you will have a massive breakthrough in your coaching because your clients will— oh wow, never thought about that. And they really will see it from a different perspective. I can tell you that question already, or those 3 questions, depends on the client, will have a massive breakthrough in your coaching. And I can tell you from all the trainings I did and all the coaches who I then almost forced to do it once with their clients, they always report back. It's amazing, Chris. The whole coaching broke up in a beautiful way and the client had insights. That's like, as one client coach I still remember said, Chris, why didn't you force me to do it after session 1? Because now I did it in this, my client in session 4 with my client. My client said to me, why didn't you ask me that in our first session? So she was complaining that I did not force her to actually start this question after the first session we did. Because her client really was so happy with it, but also disappointed that actually in the 4th session he became aware of it. But that's one thing. And Sarah has a sore arm from holding her hand up. Sarah, how can I help you?

Thanks. That was actually one of my questions. So thank you. I had, but I have another one, so I'm okay. First of all, I'll start with a thank you. Thank you for living it. Thank you for embodying it. It was probably not the way that you planned, but you really brought us back into our bodies, like after the experience. It was almost as if it was planned, but, you know, thank you. My question is, you mentioned, and I've read this a few times, like it's not enough to have the desire, or there's a negative correlation between desire and the actual change, and the belief has to be high. How do you use this 3 Brains Technique to get the belief high that changes could possibly happen?

It's also an extremely good question and really good listener, Sarah. All kudos to you because I just said it as an in-between sentence that there's research done that desire, uh, negatively correlates, say, with the outcome and beliefs do. If you think about the placebo effect, that's actually based on belief systems. So how do you change that? Now, it is actually, if you like to change beliefs, beliefs are, let's make it black and white, stored in your heart or in your gut emotionally. And I say emotionally, they have an emotional connection with it. Most of our beliefs that are doing with connection or not good enough are stored in our heart, based, learned from our parents, our sisters, our brothers, or the close family systems, or they are learned from highly experienced, highly impactful experiences. You once had an accident, you once had a horrible divorce, you once got sacked from your job. I had them all, by the way, so I know them. And that creates a coping mechanism. And coping mechanism comes one moment in belief. So what you do and what we did in the training is actually Splitting the emotion from the memory. I call it the emotion. So if you have any memory of that you once had an accident and you don't have an emotional feeling about it anymore, it does not mean you now have to do the coping mechanism. You can now freely choose what to do. And that works for everything. The same we say belief, I'm not good enough, or I cannot cry. That's what a lot of boys learn. Or I also take care of somebody else. That's most times learned, 9 out of 10, by our parents. Oldest child are more caregivers than the middle child or the youngest child because the oldest child always has to take care of your brothers or your sisters in many cases. And the youngest brother or sister just can just free around. The moment we take the emotion of the Parental learning of the memory, people can choose freely. And that's actually, and that's how it happens. So the moment that we are adults as we are now, Sarah, we don't have the critical voice in our head. Oh, I should take care of that because that critical voice is our mom, our dad, our uncle, our granddad. And we take that one out, we can choose freely what we want to do. And that's actually that critical voice in your heart and your God. So we You say you coach the heart or the gut in that connection. And it works massively. If you like to know more, then you see Tatjana is still here. You make a screenshot now of the thing, you find her and say, Tatjana, tell me, tell me, tell me, how did it work? Because that's what we do in the training. And I can tell you, and it's not because I like to say it, in every training people have massive breakthroughs. I always call it a training to learn to coach, but actually it's a massive transformational training because people really come where, oh wow, I throw away some beliefs, I threw away some other stuff because we practice and we train it. And it sounds easy and it is easy. And I tested it on myself. I once had an open heart surgery because I had a genetic heart fault that was not functioning correctly. In one night I had, say, epiphany of what was stopping me, say, in, in the panic attacks I had. And actually it was an old learning I had and I actually, actually did during the night and it helped. I could do it because it was while I sedated. So I was not in an active mode, more in a hypnotic state almost, thanks to all the painkillers and all the kind of stuff they gave to me. I spent between 2 o'clock and 5 o'clock, so actually everything what I learned in my own training, doing by myself. And the next day, a massive change was there in my mindset. And I really, it's like, I'm going to, this is recorded. So I'm good. I realized like, oh wow, it really works. Because now I felt it on myself. Because most of the time I teach people and I see it in my clients, I see it in students happening, but not so much in myself. But this was really, oh wow, it works. Really, it works massively. And that fear I had never came back. Really, never. Zero. That's amazing. 3 hours by myself. Okay, I don't advise you to get a lot of medication and heart surgery to do that part. There are easier ways to do that.

I'll skip that part. Yeah, thanks.

You can skip that, absolutely. But the methodology works if you can split that Say the emotion of the memory of the memory, and then it works.

So if I may ask, I don't see anyone else's hands, so I'll just ask a follow-up question. With the belief part, like, how does— when you split, if I hear you right, you're splitting the emotional part from the belief. Yeah. You know, I'm not good enough or whatever. And How would that look like practically? Or is that part of your course and takes months?

That's part of the course. How you do this part of the course, what you do is actually, um, a lot of people do it before, otherwise they feel guilty. Maybe, maybe you know that, oh, I have to do it, otherwise I feel guilty. I had that a long time with doing the bed. Otherwise I could, uh, if I didn't do my bed, I felt guilty because I was always raised to do your bed before you leave your room. It's a silly example, But I really could feel guilty if I just say I was busy and didn't do it. And in the evening I saw my bed one big mess and I felt it in my body. That's your heart or gut actually saying it feels. So the moment you can get that guilt out of that, out of the memory, it's there. So now I can, now I'm not leaving my bed, by the way, a big mess. That's not what I'm saying. But if I would do so when I'm busy, like, Then I don't feel guilty. Then I just do it later and it's totally okay. There's no, there's no feeling connected with it anymore. You can call it emotion. There's no feeling what you feel in your body. There's no critical voice that there's not a daddy who says, oh, oh, oh, oh, did you leave your room now? Are you going to work without cleaning your bed? Are you sure? It's not there anymore. So that's how we split. And how we do it is actually, in my words, doing a heart-to-heart communication between almost your parents or the ones you learned it from and the person you did it for. Because that's the thing, and I will just give you a little clue in that, Sarah. The person you learned it for or from has to give you permission to let it go. And that's not a logical thing because now your dad could say, okay, leave it, but it doesn't have that emotion. Your heart or your gut has to hear it. So that means you have to bring the communication from here to there. And that's, and how we do that, that's in the course. But this is the—

That's the teaser.

This is how, this is what you do. The how is later, but then we really have to see each other.

Thank you.

Thank you for listening and asking the question. And I said, I don't mind sharing because experiencing it is different than knowing it because I know I can say how things work. It doesn't mean you do it. Let's say, but this is how it works. And also, and I never, and I really dislike To let people just walk away. Oh, I cannot tell you that that's in the course. I really dislike that question. So I like to give you enough to give you an insight how it works or what what we do. I need to run the channel. Okay, thank you. I love to see you back. I love to hear your story. Why are you now back in Germany? So let's connect. So somebody else has a question to oh, I'm not going to pronounce your last name to Nigam because I'm. My tongue breaks. Other question, or should we just have a coffee and say goodbye? Thank you all for being here and staying with me. I see Samia almost raising your finger, raising your hands. Okay, last drop for you, Samia.

Maybe I can have a quick question afterwards. It's, it's more about my, my, uh, trying to figure out if I— if this training is okay for me or not. Yeah, I would like to try and tell the council.

So, Samia, should we kick everybody out? So we are just, just the two of us.

Just you and I. I don't mind if someone wants to hear it.

Okay. No, me neither. I don't have, people say I'm, I'm the person of too much information. You know, you know that, you know that message, too much information I can share because I don't feel, I don't have an issue with sharing, but people say, oh, that's too much information. So if you like to share, Samia, it's also okay. Maybe other ones have the same question, eh? So maybe they'll learn right away from you. So that's great.

Okay. Uh, a touch awkward, I guess. I, I feel very experienced. I have, uh, master's NLP with Robert Dilts. I know you're connected with Robert Dilts.

Oh yes, Robert Dilts. I love Robert Dilts. Robert Dilts. Okay. Sorry.

Um, and I've done a neuroscience, applied neuroscience course with a, uh, neuroscientist And a psychologist. I'm a psychologist by background, so I've got a lot of everything that you talk about. I— it, it makes complete sense. It connects with everything I already know. And so I'm keen to just read your book because I think what you say, the way you package things, is brilliant. I love the way you're explaining things that I absolutely work with all the time. So I'm going to buy your book.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And you've been amazing and you've been so generous over the last few days and I'm very grateful.

No thanks.

And then the other bit of me that says, I've learned a few little tips on how to twist and turn a little sentence or a package or a— the matrix versus the umbilical cord.

I've loved that as an analogy, for example.