Why You Don't Change Even When You Know the Answer How | 3 Brains Coaching | ICF Coaching Week 2026

Good to see you all on this Friday, and I hope you still are a little bit energized on this Friday. So actually, to ask a question I ask always my participants in the training, and you can put it in the chat. So there are 3 questions. One is actually, how much is this beautiful thing in between your ears open to get all the new information from today? And also to be open Because I look at you a little bit better. You all look like experienced coaches or at least leaders. I had to put all that experience and knowledge you have for one moment aside and just have an open mind. 10 is I have totally open mind and 1 is now actually I'm worse than the average president of a state. A 10 plus. Oh, Linda Newling. Oh, Linda is there. Oh, okay. Now we get nervous. Linda Newling. Is an amazing MCC coach. She once followed my training, so I don't get nervous. But if I get nervous, you know why? Because she's amazing. Maria Therese is also an amazing coach, but she only has a 10, not a 10 plus. Oh, that's a disappointment. Kidding. No, we're going to have fun today because it's a Friday. So that's question one. Good that you are so open here. The secondly is actually how much I would say, passion do you have for the 20 people to 30 people that are somewhere in your room? How much can you share compassion for them? It doesn't mean we have to coach them right away, but just more, okay, we're here, one big family. On the same score, then 10 is, you know, I can feel compassion for them even though I don't know them. And a 1 is I actually already dislike them. That's beautiful. Yes, of course, we are really compassionate, but it doesn't mean we always can show it. You're so right, Theresa. Oh, what beautiful scores. Oh, this, this makes my Friday even more interesting to work with you. Amazingly. And the third one is, because I don't know how it's with you, but you see my energy style. How much energy do you still have on this Friday evening? Basically, for me, it's Friday evening almost. 10 is I still have, uh, energy. The 1 is actually, can you give me 5 Red Bulls from this moment? Dr. Colleen, I, I love your honesty, uh, Mrs. Colleen. It's morning where you are, Linda. I know, I know. When you were in my training, you were at 4 o'clock in the morning in Hawaii there. 7:30, 7, lots of energy. That's good. So I can promise you that probably during this webinar you get more energy because I'm going to make you enthusiastic. And that's a big promise because I am going to do something that will change you. Well, but sometimes you have to just make some big promises and I love to make big promises because then I can at least say I kept them. So what are we going to talk about beyond the change myth? What's the biggest reason change fails? It isn't mindset or discipline, or that we are lazy, or we don't have energy. Um, but it's actually our biology. And during these slides and during this presentation, we're going to show you how. Uh, one thing upfront, I'm the founder of, as you can see in the next slide, I'm the founder of 3 Brains Intelligence. Already 33 years in business as leader, coach, therapist, because I'm also a therapist. So I know much more about this than I can share in, say, 1 hour. If you have questions, if you really like to know something, please ask it. Make it the best for you. Don't try to please me. We don't have here coaching role. I'm the client, you're a coach, and you go here to please me. It's almost the opposite around. And you're the client, I'm the coach, I'm here to please you. So just ask, share, disagree, whatever you like. unmute yourself and step in. So besides founder of 3 Brains Intelligence, I'm a visiting professor at 2 business schools. I'm the author of 3 books about 3 Brains Intelligence. I worked, as you can hear, I'm Dutch. I lived for 10 years almost in Australia. I lived 5 years already in Spain. I worked through all those different continents with the last 33 years with 13,000 people in small groups or one-to-one. And last but not least, um, and then we have a 3-Brain Coach certification and master training that is both 40-point CCU accredited for ICF. So if you ever like to renew it, poof, you can do it in one row where you can learn and embody all of this. By the way, just one little sidestep, and we'll cut this out of the recording later. I saw recently an ICF webinar in the ICF coaching week. Half the time the person was doing a sales pitch. My promise is it'll be less than 5 minutes. My sales pitch of this 1 hour and 15 minutes, because I don't know how it's with you. I get totally, you could say annoyed when you like to learn something and every 5 sentences you hear how good they are that you have to buy their book or have to buy their training. It's almost morning here. Okay. Now that's my promise. I will cut this out of the scene. So a big promise. Who of you, and I know 2 at least have, Maria Theresa and Linda, are aware of the 3 brains we have? Or is it for you still a little bit of a concept and maybe, well, what you maybe can imagine but not know? You can put it in the chat or just blur it out so I know a little bit what it is. Aware of it, lady. Great. Yes, Patty. Aware, aware, aware. Oh wow, a lot of awareness there. Okay, that makes my life easier. Unaware and here to learn. I love your honesty, Alba. I know a little bit about it. So thanks to your book, I'm aware of them. Okay, Doris did already something that makes my heart even jump once. Beat faster. She read already my books. Oh, here. Went to your other ICF session this week. Oh, great, Stephanie. Which one, if I may ask? You put it in the chat about the data or about artificial intelligence? AI. Ah, okay. I love that one. Okay, now we're going to see what is actually so important in us that really can beat Artificial intelligence attended both. Oh wow! We have we have a hardcore groupie here. Oh, make my make my make my heart even beat faster. Thank you for sharing. Okay. So who is really in charge? I think and believe and assume that we as coaches all know this little picture here. The iceberg ten percent is our conscious awareness, ninety percent unconscious awareness. And it acts on its own. In the old days, I've been teaching it and preaching it. We have a subconscious mind, we have an unconscious mind. And I'm also a clinical hypnotherapist, psychotherapist. And when I did my hypnotherapy course, psychotherapy course, I said, Melanie, I'm going to talk to your subconscious mind. You can just close your eyes on this moment. I still remember that. And I always ask also my teachers, uh, but where do I talk to? Should I talk to their head, their chest, their feet? Where is their subconscious mind located? And they always pointed out somewhere there. Now, somewhere there, that was for me not really useful. So I spent, I could say, the last decades from what is really now in charge of us based on my personal life that I got a burnout once. And actually didn't know what was happening because I was already 10 years in the business as a coach, as a leader, as extremely fit doing water polo. And I thought, what's happening with me? And it really sparked me, hey, I thought I knew everything and I became aware and maybe knew 1%. And my arrogance was biting me really massively. And I really became extremely humble and started learning that part. And that's the result is here. So who's in charge of those 90%? What does it mean actually for us as coaches, leaders, and the clients we have? And that's what we're going to answer here. So first, do some math. So I'm warning you, there will be some confrontational or self-reflective points in this because I love that you not only understand it, but you're going to almost experience it, feel it in a gentle way, yeah, unless you like it ungentle. But who of you ever caught themselves in perfectionism, trying to please everyone, struggling to set boundaries or say no, pushing even when the body says no? Hey, that was me, by the way, yeah. The other 3, I'm less. But do you— can you recognize these? Oh, Dr. Colleen. Hey, Dr. Colleen, come on, Doc, you're a doctor. kidding. Or procrastination, neglecting self-care, feeling stressed, hesitating to ask actually more. So isn't it interesting? We all have here experienced coaches, leaders, a doctor. And even though we help our clients with this, we saw ourselves fall in this pitfall. So I could ask, and that's what I asked myself 20 years ago when I was really hitting my burnout, uh, with, uh, 200 miles an hour and ended up in a, in a really hard wall. How can I help people if I even cannot help myself? How can I say to a client, do what I do, when actually what I do is running into a wall? So then actually I should teach them, do what I say to you and don't do what I do. And for me, that felt like a lie. If I cannot lead by example, then no, better lead not. So what makes it so hard to break free of those? Because I said pushing through even when the body says no, it took me a long time to get that system out of me. I will not say it just happened overnight because really changing belief systems and earlier experience in my life, then it came aware because I saw a psychiatrist, 2 psychologists, 2 different kind of somatic healers. From, okay, who is really going to help me? By the way, the psychiatrist, um, after 8 sessions, I kicked out because on that, on that moment, I knew the first 20 years of my life, we didn't have any clue what, what could help me. The psychologist did some nice stuff but didn't really go deep. I came over here, hey, if I start integrating my whole system, I come more to a solution. But even then, it's hard. Because how do you talk to the body? And what I was told, because I love sports and people would say I'm rather disciplined. So I was beating myself up. Am I not disciplined enough? Am I too weak that I get a burnout? Because if you play water polo, you are a little bit of a toughie. Let's be honest, water polo is not for the fine-hearted. You do things in the water that you would not do to anybody else in a normal life situation. And so I looked at myself around. Maybe you're just a softie. Maybe you're just weak. Maybe you don't have enough discipline. And luckily I came aware that all that self-blame was not so needed. It's more biology. I was not actually listening to my own systems inside me. And I came aware, and that is really 8 years ago. So 12 years I was on a path of learning a lot of things. Really 8 years ago. In following some courses, I read the book The Intention Experiment from Lynne McTaggart while doing other courses. And there in one page, she writes that we have 3 brains. And I read that, I read that thing from— this could be the answer on my question, what is actually our subconscious? I dove into that and came aware of the 3 nervous systems. or 3 brains, one in the heart, one in the head, and one in the gut. And in my research, I became aware they have independent decision power, independent memory systems, and actually all different kind of objectives where we will dive in. And normally, based on the 5,200— now maybe now 5,500 tests I did, I became aware in those 3 brains Normally, or in 97% of the cases, people have one or two of the brains dominant. So they are in charge of their decision-making and one is more silent. For the people who know me, I knew and know that my heart and gut are dominant, or my gut and heart are dominant. It depends who I ask this question. And my head is running a little bit low. Or behind. And so the next day, most times I know what I should have decided the day before, but pitifully already made the decision. So I can just say I did something stupid again, like Britney Spears was singing, oops, I did it again. And nowadays I'm really working hard on it because 6 weeks ago I made a decision in a little bit of an emotional state from, oh, the stock exchange has gone down, let's sell some stocks. Uh, and actually the stocks I sold jumped up the last 6 weeks with 40%. And although I'm not a millionaire, we don't talk about thousands of dollars, it hurts. Okay. So I came aware, oh, even 6 weeks ago, I came aware my 3 brains were not all part of my decision-making when it was really curious. So it gave me again a spark. What should we really do different or actually different, but I'm not teaching my clients up to now? And last, lasting change happens only when all 3 are there. And now to give you, say, a mental picture how you could imagine your 3 brains inside you, just imagine you're sitting down on your dinner table. You have 3 wise advisors there, and all 3 wise advisors have the authority to make a decision for you. So they can really make a decision for you and have the authority to do so and the responsibility to do so. But only one thought only makes decisions based on logic, almost like an Excel sheet. What's happening last week? What's happening next week? What's the best logical decision without any emotions involved? One is there who just says, let's think and only feel about how it will affect the people around me, my connections. with the biggest fear to be rejected. So we like to stay bonded. And the third advisor is what is good for me, myself, and I. How do I win? How don't I lose? You can imagine those 3 people on your table. And now imagine that only one is the dominant voice at your table. How would life be? That's where that came aware of. So Who of you ever regretted the decision and ask yourself, why didn't I think this through? I just admitted I did 6 weeks ago. Or why didn't I follow my heart? Or why didn't I listen to my gut feeling? Who of you ever had that question asked to herself or himself? Am I really the only one? Melanie also says it. So almost everybody did that once. Or still is doing it. What is actually happening in that moment? On that moment, one of your 3 advisors was not listened to by you or was not voicing his or her opinion loud enough that you could listen to it. So you only, only followed one. And then that's, in my case, one of those 3 says, And maybe you know that voice, I told you so, you should have listened to me more or better. That's what's happening. You only listen to one or two. So if your 3 brains are all talking and you all listen to them, all 3 are part of the decision-making and they have a consensus, the chance on regret minimizes massively. Does that make sense what I'm saying up to now? Good. Okay. Because for me, it's so logical what I say that sometimes I assume that what I say is logical for everybody else. Good. Okay. So how much can we change actually? And we all know DNA, double helix. And is it possible that we are, because this is actually discussion, who are Who are we? What can we change? And the beauty is in an identical twin study, twins who were split by birth, not for the research, by the way, but more from horrible things that happened, uh, war, parents who died and all this kind of stuff. They followed them for the longevity, longevity. So 20 years, 30 or 40 years, they followed them through their life and what they came aware of. And that is really beautiful to come aware of. If you look at the physical things of them, you see sameness or correlation, but actually not 100%. So the weight is a correlation of 73%. But imagine if you're 40 years old as an identical twin, you still have identical DNA. Your DNA is 100% the same, but your weight can differ. That's interesting, isn't it? You have the same DNA, but your weight can differ. If you go to the mental state of us, the change is even bigger, between 30% and max. Now, if you have schizophrenia, 80%, but in normal things, one-third to maybe 50% correlations. It's almost like choosing which side of this coin Will it be heads or tails? But they have identical DNA. So what does this mean? We are in charge for a lot of things of our life. We are not born with this, so we can change. And that's the beauty of it. We can change. Now is the question, how can we change? I gave you already in the beginning the answer: 3 brains aligned. What do we mean with that? So if you think about them just one step back, based on research shows that the first 7 years Is in psychology. I don't know what kind of doctor Mrs. Colleen is, because maybe she's a psychologist, psychiatrist. Now I'm going on thin ice and I get slapped. Well, good, good. Okay, I'm safe. No, I'm safe because I did my research. So the first 7 years, we call them psychology, the imprint period. As the Jesuit said, give me a boy in the knees of 7. and I tell you what kind of, uh, and I can make the man what you like to have. Give me a boy after 7 and I will tell you what kind of man it will become. They already knew organizational leadership. Oh wow, that is really interesting, by the way, Colleen. Uh, we will not talk about it now, but that is really amazing. For a later discussion, I invite you for a virtual coffee right away. But the first 7 years are extremely important. And just to make you aware how the— what I mean with this, who of you has a memory before the age of 3? And if you have that memory, Melanie, is it really a full memory or just a highly impactful event from happiness or not? Maybe some painful experience like me that I once broke my collarbone falling out of my bed.

A picture.

A picture, yes. Okay, so I'm going to ask you a question and the answer is no. Don't start discussing, don't start thinking about this answer. But if we don't have a really vivid memory for the age of 3, is it then allowed that we abuse our kids? Cold water plunges, ice cubes, slaps, uh, sleeping outside and all this kind of stuff?

Sorry, I didn't hear you. It broke up then.

No, I said So the answer is no, eh? Let's make clear of that. So when we don't have a vivid memory before the age of 3, is it allowed that we slap our kids, hit them, give them ice cream in their bed? Um, I don't know, don't give them food? No, that's not it. Of course not, Chris. What kind of crazy questions do you ask? Are you really such a horrible person? No, we all know that is incredibly horrible to do. Actually, it shows that you can have then insecure attachment and give massive issues later on. Doris made me jealous. But pleasant memories before 3 are great. But most times I say there are highly impactful events, not about more normal life, what we were eating, what we were doing. Our memory doesn't remember that. That's because the first 3 years of our life, our brain grows massively. The first 18 months after conception, so that's 9 months after birth too, 250 million new connections between the brain cells are made. And up to year 3, your brain grows massively because if this size of the head would come out of my mama, although she loved me, she would've hated me. Her head is much smaller and has to grow. And for everybody who's a mom can imagine that part probably. And after year 3, it prunes back and becomes more optimized. That's the first 3 years. Therefore, we don't know it. But we have 3 memories, like Denise said, pleasant ones, Melanie one. But we know actually from research in secure attachment that the first 3 years are really important about your bonding and about your feeling of safety and actually your self-confidence already. Now the second question, when do we learn time? Now what age do we know what is yesterday and what is tomorrow? And we can really make a cause and effect analysis. I already gave the answer when I talked about age, so that is actually easy. 3. Lady, no, it is 7 years, around 7 years. It depends between 5 and 9. Girls are a little bit smarter than boys. So you women probably are around 5. Me, it was something like 9. According to my sister, probably I learned that when I was 15, but that's a totally different story. That explains probably why I am what I am. Not kidding. But so before year 7, just imagine now the story.

Yeah.

Uh, a little kid, kids. So one from 5 and one from 3 are having dinner, uh, having, sorry, having breakfast with the parents in the morning. One of the parents shares, I'm extremely nervous. I'm a little bit upset because today's a really important day. I have a meeting with the client, with my boss. It's really important. They have a client and they have a compliance whined and complained. And if it's wrong, I can even not come up with words. Oh, wow. Okay. And the parent leaves at 5 o'clock. He comes back. The oldest one runs to the parent. Hey, you're back. He says, did you do your homework? Yes, Daddy. Probably not good enough. Go back to your room and do it again. The little one of 3 Is behind and says, "Hey, Daddy," and says, "Did you clean up your room?" No. Go clean up your room. Those two little kids, do they understand that in this case I use Daddy was in the morning already upset and therefore he's now grumpy? Do they know that? No, Sandra. I see your head nodding no, so I assume this is no. You gave the perfect answer. So what do they know in that moment? Oh, probably I did not do my homework. So I have to— I didn't do my homework, probably it's not good enough. I have to do it again. I'm not good enough. The other one of 3, oh wow, I didn't clean up my room. So I'm not being loved. I have to always clean up. That's what they learn in that moment. So the first 7 years of our life, we learn actually in the moment about those things. And I don't know how you were as a parent, I'm a parent. I think I beautifully messed up my kids in some ways. I did it as a real professional. And maybe you did a better job, but they're still good. But I think I did some good jobs in that. That's the first 7 years. So now later in life, how do we change it? Because we don't remember that. There was a critical mind was not there before 7. We cannot put the cause and effect in there. So this part, how useful it also is nowadays, is actually useless for the first 7 years of our life. So how do we change that? When the memories before 3 are not stored in the head, where are they stored? And then the beauty is You know where most of— I call it emotions. Let's call it emotions. Where are the emotional connections to the memory stored? The emotions, I mean the painful experience, the beliefs, the things that feel painful in the body. Absolutely, Andrea. If you read the book The Body Keeps the Score, you say the body. And actually, if you know, we have— thank you, Patty, you give an amazing answer. Uh, other one also amazing, but this is the answer actually I was trying to get.

Yeah.

The gut and the heart because they have a memory. So if you know there is an emotional or a protection connection there, we have to find a solution. And doesn't mean that only it's before 7, because when you have an emotional, highly impactful event after 7, Uh, you get a divorce, you find your, uh, your best friend, uh, with your partner, uh, you get sacked, um, you have an accident, one of your, uh, loved ones dies, um, you get bankrupt. Those highly impactful events are also stored in your body after year 7. Although we can rationalize them, it's not happening yet because if it was only in your head, Post-traumatic stress syndrome could be solved with cognitive behavioral therapy. And the pity is it has a success rate less than 20%. That post-traumatic stress syndrome is solved or cured by cognitive behavioral therapy. And cognitive behavioral therapy is actually— now let's call it talk therapy. Based on the success rate, it means, hey, there's more than this. Or all the therapists are extremely horrible at their job. And I don't believe that. It means the therapy form does not work.

Okay.

So we have 3 brains. What does, what is the role of this beautiful thing upstairs? And that's actually answering the question, why do we have a huge memory? What's the use of knowing what happened yesterday when we spoke to a client? For when we're going to talk to him tomorrow or to her tomorrow. It helps us to predict what we could do better or different. The reason that we have such a beautiful memory system upstairs is because it helps us to predict. And what's the advantage of doing predictions? It increases your survival. It increases your success. It diminishes the failure. It's safety. Absolutely, Andrea, it's safety. In the old days when we were still running somewhere in the bushes between lions and tigers and we're trying to find something, knowing what is happening, knowing what it means, knowing where maybe the tigers or the lions are increases your success rate. Now we don't have lions or tigers anymore in our business world, although some CEOs we could call them like that. Sorry, it helps. So this is the role of this one upstairs. The one in your heart is actually all about bonding, what I just said, because what does your heart also synthesize and release? Oxytocin. What is oxytocin? Who knows what oxytocin does? No, okay, just put in the chat. Yeah, I see your hand up. I don't see everybody here, so I see you. So I just feel good and bonding, Diana. Okay, and high ten on you. That's it. It's for bonding and connection and also happiness. Absolutely. So if the heart can relate that, actually the heart is in charge for bonding. Because if you talk about, say, grief or a broken heart. Which element of our body is then actually feeling painful? A broken heart. Yes, a broken heart feels painful in your heart. Why does it feel painful in your heart and not in your head? Because the heart really feels it when there is grief. Because that's the role of the heart. It helps you to connect. So in the decision-making, that wise person at your table is all about connection and keeping you from keeping you bonded. The third one is the oldest one, is your gut brain. It's all about survival. Why is that? And just to give you a mental picture, who of you likes oysters or mussels to eat?

I do.

Okay, I'm not the only one. That's good. Did you ever really observe what a mussel or an oyster is? Does it have a head? Nope. Doesn't have a heart. Actually, you eat a living gut system. I don't hope— yeah, Colleen, I know, I know, this, this really doesn't give you more appetite. I know. But actually what it is, many living creatures in the sea are actually living a digestive system, actually. And that's actually how we originated 500 million years ago. But that muscle can do everything to be alive. It can find food, it can filter food, it can reproduce, it can close its shell if it sees a predator, it can open its shell if it believes it's safe again. It does everything to survive. Now put arms, heart, head, on it and we have almost a human being. Michael Gershwin, who wrote the book The Second Brain, actually describes, and in research is now totally proven, your gut brain can really totally live independently from us. It can make really independent decisions. That is absolutely intuition, gut brain intuition. So, right, Sandra. And when we talk about intuition or gut feeling, that's actually where most of them comes from. So that's your 3rd advisory table who just talks about me, myself, and I. How can I win? How can I get food? How can I be successful? And I don't give a beep about anybody else because I never saw a social mussel or oyster who thinks, oh, I will share my position so you have a little bit better water. No, it just pushes the other one away. It climbs on the other, it grows on the other. My gut is my main. Yes. What's exactly the mechanism? Heart releasing neurotransmitters. Now, in the research that André Amour did, he found, say, 40,000 brain cells, neurons, next to the heart or on the heart, not in the heart, on the heart. And in the research, it shows When the heart gets information from the body or from the outside world, it starts interfering actually what it means it do, what we as a human being should do. As one of the things, and it's not only neurotransmitters, when the heart does boom boom, after the second boom boom, within 6, after 6 milliseconds up to 200 milliseconds depends on how urgent it It means it shows it sends a signal to the amygdala, and based on the heart coherence, and that signal is a neurotransmitter, it says what should we do more? What do you have to release more in the body? So based on the heart coherence we have, actually it's giving neurotransmitters to the amygdala what should be released in the body. How does it get the information? And then we have to go to Quantum biology is it gets information from the outside world, from the inside world, in energy and in other kind of sensations. This is why breathwork can impact the heart. And absolutely, if you do breathwork— and I also learned breathwork besides being NLP master, Reiki master, constellations, etc.— if you do really breathwork for the first time, it could happen that you have an experience of being born again when you came out of mama's birthing channel. Because if you do really beautiful breathwork thing, it actually can come to those kind of things. And other kind of emotional experiences you had where actually now your breath, you hold your breath too long, can happen. I almost had a drowning accident when I was learning to swim. That also came up when I was doing breathwork. Breathwork does a lot besides, as you probably know, if not, it's here. If you inhale, the brain that brings sent out via the sympathetic nerve actually signals to your body. Sympathetic nerve means actually activating the body. If you breathe out, the signals are sent through the parasympathetic nerve system, and it actually means rest and digest and can relax. If you do breathwork, what's circular breathing? You over oxygen your body. And you actually bring your body actually in a hyper state, and therefore things that are stuck in the body gets released. That's the whole thing about breathwork, the mechanism of releasing. I hope I answered your question. Actually, it can, it can come from there, from the signals. And I see many females in the show here. So, um, research shows if you in monasteries, but also in prisons, when females are always together and the same females are together, They're synchronized, even their period. And it's not because you start talking about it. Hey, mine is on the 27th of May. When is yours actually? Okay, can we synchronize that? No. Your bodies communicate with each other, and the heart is one of them. It happens because the energy of the heart, the boom boom boom boom electromagnetic energy, can be measured 3 to 9 meters outside the body. So our energy can be met, felt, and received by other human beings. That's there. I hope this answers because I try to do my— give you really content, but I cannot put 4 days in 1 hour. If I talk too fast, just stop me. I said it, 97% of the tests I did, so of the people, coaches, leaders, everything else have one or two of these 3 brains as dominant. That means, or they think, or they decide too logical, or they decide too much about others, or they decide too much about themselves. Only 3% have those 3 advisors in the same loud voice and could listen to all 3 of them. By the way, I'm still not one of the 3%, right? I'm just going to be honest with you. I do my best to get there, but it also needs training and really exercising and be aware of it. So what happens when one is really dominant and falls back, say, in a protection mechanism? The head has as a strength, is logical, factual, too critical. When we get stressed, it becomes too judgmental, too rigid, too perfectionism. And what is this allergy? What if you have a head brain dominant person? What do they don't like as an allergy? To be wrong, to have the knowledge or work criticized, because that's where they find the security in a great prediction. And if you start discussing their prediction, their work, they get totally allergy of it. In the heart, the strength is enthusiastic. Team player, courageous, smiles. What is the pitfall? Naive, too optimistic, too trusting, can't say no, no clear boundaries. What is really, how can you really hurt? And what is the allergy of a heart-brain dominant person? Confrontation, rejection, being seen as unfair. Most of the coaches or the average of the coaching world have a heart-brain dominance. So I assume many of you can find yourself in this layer of the heart-brain. In the good things and maybe in the pitfalls. The gut brain, decisive, pushes through, gets all the things done, wins. You have food or you are food, but it can also be egocentric, impatient, focused, lacking empathy, manipulative. It's almost like the average president of a country. We're not putting any names in there. And the weakness is saying sorry, losing, or dependency. This is what you see, but this is what we have as a coach in our 3 brain dominance. But this is also what the clients have. If you follow my other webinars, what I did, you can learn that in the 5,000 tests I did, that we as coaches have different dominance than leaders, and that leaders actually have to grow from a different kind of balance in your 3 brains. Let's see how easy it all is. So let's do some, some fun. So this is a role play and we're all coaches, so we know role plays. So what is role play? You are now working for a company as a manager. The company you work for is making a severe loss. And there is really an urgent need to take actions to get control of the cost and to optimize cost. The board— you're not part of the board— made the decision that at least 5 employees in your department should be made redundant. All your employees have the same level of competence. Based on this text and information, which option would you choose? I already put option B there because I came away, it works a little bit different than I assumed it would be. Option B is to let go of the 5 younger employees. They will find easily a job based on their age and experience, meaning everybody will have employment, not in your company, but you could say everybody's happy. The other one is option A, you let go of the 5 older employees, which is the best choice for production, by the way, as the job is physical. Based on their age, we can assume these 5 employees will never find a job again. And it will have severe negative effect on their income and finances. Option C, you do LIFO, last in, first out, not age-related. 5 employees already worked there for 15 years. 5 joined the last 2 years. Those go, those go out. If it happens, you have 3 older and 2 younger employees. And the last option is you discuss it with your team and see who may like to volunteer. In the chat, which option would you choose based on this text? And there is no right or wrong. All four could be discussed. Now there is a right and wrong actually, but oh, you are also beautiful coaches. We're going to have fun today. I'm really going to tell you that. Okay, okay. New, new, new, new, new, new, new. I know Maria Teresa and Linda know the answer, so they don't give their answer in there. This is so hard. I know, Maria Muniz. Uh, you're really sweetie. Or maybe got a massive payout with doing so, then I'm just jealous. Is there a relation to MBTI and 3 Brains? I come back to that, Diana. I come back to that answer, that question later on. MBTI in this day, day, day, day. I, I, I, I, I, yay, I, yay, I, yay, I, yay, I, yay. I was having a baby. Okay. Now, if you got a beautiful payout also, then life is good. Okay. Betty, I love your honesty. Okay. So who of you chose A? Based on what I saw in the chat, the answer is nobody.

Ooh.

Okay, ladies. Now, now we're here. Option A, by the way, is the only answer that addresses the company's needs and urgent loss. It's the only one that gives you any answer that it will have a benefit, your choice. Because option A, we talked about severe loss, urgent action, 5 of 10 must go and have the same competencies. Option A is the only one that gives you a result of your decision. Option B, C, and D actually give you a result of what happens with the people, but not what happens with the company. So therefore, option A is the only one that is good. But it assumes that you are all coaches or coach-related. You have a big heart, you have values, you have belief, you have experience. Like Patty said, you already did it once, and those actually interfere with your decision capacity. One of your wise advisors was shouting a little bit harder. Okay, now we are there. Now you know everything, eh? Let's vote again in the chat. Same options: A, B, C, D. What are you going to choose now? Please put it in the chat so we can have fun together. Patty, you're going to fire the top earners. Okay, Elon Musk, you're out. Kidding. C, lady is C. I love your honesty, lady. Come on, all the others. A, Diana says A. Okay, the next will say C. C, Ying Yong, D plus A. Okay, you cannot do 2. You cannot be pregnant and not pregnant on the same moment, Ying Yong. Another option? No, option E is not there, Andrea. Option A. Okay. Oh wow, good. So option A then. Yang Yong goes for A. So now for the people, and this is really important, how easy was it to go to option A? A with regret. I love your honesty, Dr. Paulien. A with regret. So what did you notice after I gave the whole explanation that you had to swap to A? What did you notice inside your body? Did you hear the internal voices talking? Yes, I say A because it makes sense, but I really like to disagree. And some really were really beautiful stubborn. They said, I go for C or D. I don't care what Chris is saying. I know better. And so what you now did, beautiful people— Can you get me my phone so I can hear what I want to say? Is the same actually is what many of your clients are doing. They have the awareness. We gave them all the awareness with our beautiful questions. They know what to do after our beautiful questions. They feel motivated. Of course, Patty, I'm going to make an action plan. I can do it. And then the biology steps in and pulls them back. And in two weeks, I'm Patty sorry. I didn't do it. Something came in between.

This is a guy who tweets at shitty microphones.

I do a mute all because I hear somebody talk in between this, and that is not to me, but to somebody else. So dear coaches, leaders, and everybody who's here, if we have an issue with choosing A, Or if we choose A with regret, and we know what regret does with us, means I know what it does with me, Pauline. I will have to be honest in that one. If we have an issue with changing, how much do we really expect our clients are going to change? If he knows or she knows the answer, which I just gave the answer in plain sight. And half of you changes, the other half is beautifully stubborn. Like I'm also be stubborn, by the way, yourself. It's not. Any judgment to anybody of you. I know that feeling. But if we don't, how can we expect that our clients are doing it? And this is the issue that is with change happening. We know it, we are motivated, it's the right answer, and still we don't do it. It's almost like knowing that you have to eat healthy and then still cannot stay away from the chips, the cheesecake, the wine, the chocolate. All of them together because they're a beautiful mix. I always say I take one piece of chocolate and before the coffee is finished in my Nespresso, I have already 3 pieces of chocolate. Because then when I eat one, I say, okay, I cannot have chocolate then with my coffee anymore. I already had one. So then my system says, okay, if you have a second one next to your coffee, it's good. But instead of just taking this with coffee, I think I can take it while I walk. And when I'm sitting down, my chocolate is gone. So then I, of course, I have to go back for another chocolate. That makes sense, isn't it? So I know, and we always said it, gave it names, discipline, lack of discipline, etc., etc., etc. But if we can change the 60 seconds with full awareness, with the answer, I'm putting it in the slides out there. I ask, do you all agree? In a way, when there was not real consequences, because you don't get sacked, you don't get punished. I'm not going to put your name and link it in that you really were not smart enough and that you don't change and a horrible coach. I'm not going to do anything with you. A hypothetical decision. So what do we need to change really that we do it? Because our clients are talking about things that matter over months. alone under pressure with no consequences. What do we need? My answer is based on my experience, 3 brains in alignment. If those 3 wise people in your table all say the same answer, change happens. If only one is talking, it will not happen, or 2 is talking, it will not happen because the 3rd one will sooner or later pull back. So one thing extra, the classic advice, and that's actually what we learned in most of our coaching and training education. And it is this thing that works amazingly good for toddlers and works horrible for us. Repetition. Who of you ever tried to change something with repetition? So going to the gym and saying, you know, I'll go there. Or you know, I'm going to slow down. And how successful is that? I see them. I see the honesty of your faces. That's good. Thank you so much for being so honest. It's extremely hard. Ninety percent of people will fall back in two weeks. And why is that? Because we do it on willpower and discipline or logic. But why is it working for toddlers? Because toddlers are still underneath the age of 3 or 7, so they don't do a cause and effect. Because how many times does a toddler have to fall down on his diapers, wet or dry, before it can stand on his 2 legs? Do you know the number? What's the number of falling down before they can stand on 2 legs? Not walking, just standing independently.

3.

10? 100? 500? 1,733 times. Maria Teresa Alonso, I love your answer. It's on average 1,000 according to research, according to my sister, 5,000, and walking is 3,000. Okay, now I'm going to ask you a question. 1,000 times for a toddler to stand up. Who of you can walk? Everybody, isn't it? So you proved as a toddler that you could fall down 3,000 times and 3,001 times you could stand up again. Who of you is now willing to do something 3,000 times to manage it? Anybody?

No.

And this is why repetition is so hard as a toddler. And explain before Age 3, they don't have time concepts. So we, we are extremely good in doing repetition exercises because we don't know that we have to do it another 2,000 times. Now we know, so we don't. Hence discipline, micro habits, and all what those gurus say. I'm going to be extremely brutal now. It is just really unuseful. And that's really gently said by me. I thought I would keep it nice on Friday. In other days, I would have another word for it. They just sell you crap. It doesn't work. There are beautiful gurus, beautiful YouTube videos. They make a shitload of money with it and they don't have results. And that actually annoys the beep out of me. This morning I got a beautiful message on my phone. I saw a lady, actually Linda Newland, who is here. Um, said, go to Christopher. And she has a fear of flying. That lady lives in California, wanted to go to Italy with her daughter, or to Italy to her daughter. Fear of flying. I saw her twice on Zoom today. I got a message back and it says, actually, thank you so much. You're amazing. I did not have any moment of fear of flying. I enjoyed my trip. From California to Italy. Yeah. I don't know if you know how many hours it is. That's not a 2-hour flight. That's really a serious flight. And of course, oh, I'm freaking amazing. It's not. No, I knew which brain of her was blocking actually the change. And by knowing which brain was blocking it, I only had, quote quote, only had to reshuffle that one with her. So when I reshuffled that one, boom, it happened. And it doesn't mean I'm magic. No, it's just knowing where to put the right finger on. It is something like you're in a big room. The light is off. What do— what is the only thing you have to know in that moment? Where's the light switch? You don't have to know where is the table and, and all the other stuff. You just have to know where's the light switch. The 3 brains give you the light switch. And this morning I saw it again. I can tell you, I'm just sharing it because it made me so happy. Because I can tell you, after 2 sessions, I'm always thinking, okay, now she says she can, but I wonder if it will happen. After first flight, she said it was good. I'm like, there. But now, 3 weeks later, it is still in her. So 3 weeks later, she flies back, it's still in there. And that gave me the proof.

Oh wow.

One, I did a good job. I'm happy. But secondly, again, proof it worked. Because in that part, I know I'm extremely confident, but I also sometimes think, am I not too confident? Is the client not saying just you're doing a good job just to please me? And this was so good as proof. Okay, clients. So what actually happens? Stop some two weeks. You said that. Oh yeah, let's do a little exercise. I stopped for one moment because I don't like that you start now there. So let's do a little exercise to come aware how your three brains are talking. I did a stop share, right? I think I did. So I just invite you to, after this energy burst of me talking, to sit down, breathe in for a moment, relax. Put your 2 beautiful feet on the floor. You don't have to put them out of your shoes. If you like, you can do that. And what I invite you to do, and this is the short version of what I do in my training, to let you Become aware how your three brains talk, or what kind of sensations they give to you. And I'm going to explain what we're going to do. So you have to keep your eyes closed. I'm not going to hypnotize you. No worries about that. But I like that you become aware of your internal sensations. Therefore, you have to have your eyes closed. You close your eyes. You put two fingers on your third eye, so above your eyebrows. You say out loud. You don't scream. Can I be a great coach? And just come aware what your hair is, how you get the response in your head. Can I be a great coach? My head is saying, you already are a good coach, stupid question, Christoffel. Okay, thank you for giving that last sentence that I'm stupid, dear head. Just shake yourself off. And you put 2 fingers on your beautiful heart. Then you ask the same question, can I be a good coach? I don't know, my heart just gets warm because I love what I'm doing. If you feel something, I say feel it. Notice what kind of sensations you get, because your heart doesn't talk in words. And then the third question, or the third time you shake yourself off again. Gabby's doing a great job, she's following all my things. Yes, if you look at Gabby, she does an amazing job with shaking herself off. Yes, Patty, you put your fingers One inch, two fingers underneath your belly button. That's where your chi point is, your energy point. You ask the same question: Can I be a good coach, or can I be a great coach? And just come aware what's happening there. For me, it almost feels like energy what's happening there, something like a little power. I don't know, I cannot describe it. There's sensations. I now put words for my sensations. Who of you came aware of, say, now, of noticed sensations, answers, and maybe insights that are different in it when you talked about your head, your heart, and your gut? Who came aware of that? Gabi came aware of it. Would you like to share, Gabi? Because otherwise you say, what did happen? But I ask permission if you like to share. Yes.

Yes, thank you. My head said no because of my perfectionism.

I love your honesty. It's beautiful.

Yeah. My heart says absolutely yes. And there I felt such a warm sensation. And my gut also said yes. Because I, I intuition.

Beautiful. Okay, this is small. Thank you for sharing. And I see Melanie interesting. Head and heart responded yes quickly. God was sluggish. Head already are petty. Heart said yes because of love. God said yes if it can overcome her fear. Oh, I love your honesty. Heart and head and heart expanding it. and gut was tense, trying to release this difficulty. Thank you so much for all your beauty and honesty, what you dare to share in the chat. That is really a huge compliment for you, all of you, that we have that daring to share here. And this actually, when your 3 wise advisors are sharing this with you. So now just imagine that one of them is the most dominant. If you see your next coaching client, then I hope it is actually your heart, Gabi, who just is full of there and not your beautiful head full of perfectionism. And if you ask a question, you right away step in and say, did you ask the right question actually to your client in this moment? And maybe freeze because that could happen. But just imagine you're now aware that your client is the same. And just imagine when you ask a question, the client says yes with one of the 3 wisdom centers, but the other ones are maybe still sluggish or maybe silent or something else. So what Makes the change if all three of them have say a yes, and they can say yes for different kind of reasons. My heart, my head says yes because you're already doing this for thirty-three years. My heart says yes because it's full of love, and I know I give my passion to the client. And my gut says yes, and it says, didn't you read your message which you got this morning?

Beep.

So the three yeses are great. The reasoning is their own memory systems. And if one of them says no, it means we have to change, say, we could say their memory system, or we have to bring in some new kind of resources in there so they can say yes. And God didn't say anything, but the word intuition energy came to mind. Maria, beautiful point. And that is actually also beautiful what you just say here, Maria, because sometimes what it brings is, in my words, silent. And if we start coaching clients, it can happen, eh, that when we talk to a client, you will hear a lot of logical answers and you say, hey, say you would follow your heart, what would you do? And the client really says, I don't know, I never listen to my heart. I don't know what it says. And actually they cannot access what that wisdom person would say at the table. Then we actually have to coach them to get there again. And it could be the same as the gut. By the way, for most coaches, if I work with them, it's always, can you help me that my gut is more expressive because it doesn't talk too much. Because pitifully, if you read my book Relationships, Which Brain Is Talking? Socially, females are more trained to be heart-brain persons, and we guys are more trained to be a gut-brain, D-I-C-K. So we have those differences pitifully socially organized. So we actually are socialized in that. If you see a little toddler has a blue, blue, blue clothes on, what do you think? Girl or boy? Boy. Because it's socialized that blue is a boy girl. If it's pinky, must be a girl. We socialize from day one how we actually should behave and shouldn't behave. Thank you for your energy and big promises. I feel inspired with this new perspective. Definitely jump off. Colleen. Jump off. If you did my 3 brains test, please do it. Then you keep updated with me. Then you get a lot of things. Thank you for honestly being here. For the other ones, we still have 15 minutes for the last moments. I opened the share again because now, no, let me first go to my slide deck. Where am I? 3 brains quiz. So, okay, now it runs again. I came aware that you have to be careful how— now I have to be careful how we play it, otherwise you don't see my slides. Full screen, entire screen. So, and now back to our clients and what we do. Our dominant brain has been running our show, or dominant brains. for 30, 20, 30, 40, 50 years. That's how we learned. If we don't listen to the other 2, we will not get change. And it means for us, but also for our clients, the same conversations will go in circles. The same relationships will happen, the same clients, the clients will hit the same ceilings, the same restructures. there is no real change. Why I say the same restructure? Because there's research done that culture change projects have a maximum success rate of 41% based on McKinsey, Boston Consulting Group, and IBM research. Now, 41% is not really where you're proud of, at least in my perception. Knowing your short and then knowing Your dominant or silent brain is not only bringing change, it gives awareness, but it doesn't change. Listening to the other 2 and bringing them on board is, and knowing which one is— I know already for multiple years my head brain was the lowest score. Knowing it did not change it. Really working on it actively and really being aware for decisions I make from small to big helps me to train it. And by the way, just for you and for the people now, some, some person saw in the morning presentation, uh, we have another interesting thing in us. Artificial intelligence is biting us in the beep because in the traditional coaching, what we do, asking questions, language patterns, diving deeper, artificial intelligence can beat us. It listens, it analyzes, it gets uploaded thousands and thousands of coaching sessions. It does a perfect job. What can it never do? Bringing heart and gut brain presence. It can of course ask, coach, I just call, I see somebody, coach Mia Escobar, what do you feel in your heart? It can ask that question, but it cannot really feel it by itself. It cannot sense what's happening. Who of you ever entered a room and came away, hey, there's a strange atmosphere in the room with the people, but did they have a discussion, a fight or something else? That is what AI never can do. We as human beings can. AI can never synchronize your period when you all put AIs together. ChatGPT and Claude will not synchronize their, their period, right? If you put them together, we humans can. And that part, I'm jealous of females. You have much more qualities than we guys have. Shame on you girls. I'm just jealous. And we're not going to be replaced, but actually it depends on us that we are start using our 3 wisdom centers, in my opinion. So I'm now going to challenge you. Knowing is not a change. You've read maybe about now 3 brains, no, no, polytheistic thinking, maybe did NLP, somatic coaching, All the kind of things. How much of all the courses you did in the past did you really embody? And how many do you just know? Then when I say I'm a master NLP coach, I actually embodied it. I know all the tricks and I do all the tricks or techniques, or at least 80%. Let's not put a line out there. But some I know And that's it. Even though I paid a couple of thousand dollars for it. For most of us, and as a meaning, knowing doesn't become doing. It is not in those 3 brains. It's in this beautiful brain. One brain learning doesn't mean we do it. Even if you do somatic, somatic course, what I did, it doesn't mean you use it. You just know, okay, I can do somatic things. Breathwork as an example. So just to challenge you, and actually I do that because I really have a huge passion that we do the best we can, because we as coaches, you as coaches are extremely important because you are the frontiers who help leaders, managers to become better people and not only make them more successful, but be better people. At the end, that creates less toxic leadership, creates a better world at the end. And I like to promote that part. So you've done my webinars, you leave with a model and based actually on the repetition and coaching, the learning curve in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 weeks, you know it and you lost it. Your other option is you just follow my training. Now, not just, um, you get, uh, my enthusiasm and passion and craziness in there. You learn about how to detect which brain is talking. So you can find in the client which of the 3 wisdom centers is the client dominant and which one is silent. You learn actually how to work on beliefs and highly impactful experiences in a coaching way. You don't become a therapist, you become a coach. You get massive amounts of tools and techniques how to coach a belief really out of a client, how to coach a highly impactful event out of a client. In a coaching way so that the 3 brains can talk. Because why do I say that? A belief or a highly impactful experience blocks a brain from having a contribution. Everybody who has a limiting belief, and of course I don't have any of those except the 40 ones I have, will stop you. I'm not good enough. I cannot learn this. I always say I'm dyslexic. Is that a belief or a fact? Both. It's a fact, but I use it also as a belief. As long as I could keep it as a belief, it kept me writing a book for years and years and years until I got almost physically slapped by one of my clients. And then I said, okay, it's actually a belief I have and it's not only a fact. And we can change those. So if you ever watch the movie The Matrix, they can say, do you choose the red or the blue pill? And if you're just as nerdy as me, you saw the movie maybe more than once. And there's nothing bad with that, by the way. You can just— maybe it's just because you love Keanu Reeves, because he's so— he's not handsome. He's maybe good looking and you would not kick him out of your bed. And you would, if he says, do you like to have a drink with me? I would say, of course. We agree on Mia. Yeah. So that is, that's my promise. I start in June and in July with it. So I fit all the time zones and was down on the previous slide. No, that was on this slide. What I do, and because I really, I love that you're doing it, I give you €185 off extra even if you have an early bird. Why is that? Because you had the patience, the enthusiasm, the, the stay with me, with me, with me. So I like to honor that with a little gift to you guys, girls, men. Females, binary, it's, I don't know, whatever you like to be called. You have to be careful now, Patty. In the old days, you could say boys and girls and nobody felt insulted. Now you have to say binary, non-binary, he, she, it, whatever you have to say, otherwise you insult somebody. And then being Dutch, I'm just saying boys and girls, but I'm aware if you were international, you have to be extremely careful with that. So everybody included there. But I really love to help you out. By the way, I will be the trainer. What you see is what you get. You get 40 CCUs, so you tick in one side all your things. And after the training, you can join for free my monthly 3 Brain group mentoring sessions because I love that people stay connected and stay learning for the community to do so. That's my promise to you. If you have questions, ask me. If you don't have questions, don't ask me. Of course, if you like to have the cheaper option, because some people just like to read before they make a decision, especially when you're more head-brain dominant, just not going to jump in there right away. Spontaneous decisions is heart and gut. Thought, well-thought discussions is the head. Then you can have 3 books for the price of a coffee in the center of Madrid or Actually, in Paris you can buy 2 books already. You can buy one of the books on Kindle and you can have a paperback on that takes 2 coffees in the center of Paris. I know that because when I was in Paris, I just thought I'm going to drink my coffee by a teaspoon based on the price, €9 for a coffee. And if you like to do the Dutch treat, then you take the 3 Brains Test and actually that is totally for free. You get a one-page Back of a description what the three brain score means to you, and actually, I would invite everybody who didn't do it. Please do it. It gives you an idea which of your three brains, of your three wise advisors, is the most dominant, and which one is actually the least dominant. It already gives you huge awareness. Oh, this one I have to bring in more in my life. And awareness as your coaches are step one. And start in the website. You also find another test that is a 12 protector test. The 12 protectors are based on limiting beliefs we have in general, and gives you actually insight that test which of your limiting beliefs is maybe context-wise just overrunning all your systems. And it can be say head brain, heart brain, or gut brain demons. It can be the pleaser or the caretaker of the heart brain. As like somebody here said, it is my perfectionist that steps in, or it can be the controller of the endurer of the gut brain and some others. It gives you beautiful insight already, and both are free, about how you actually act and behave from biology. And with that, I hope and really almost pray that you actually become a better person than you are now. And of course, you're already great, but just a little bit better. From great to amazing, or from amazing to superb, whatever you like to say. For the last minutes, questions. I do a stop share. Questions. What do you like to know more? What do you like to say? What do you like to— whatevers. Coach Mia Escobar.

Hi, how are you?

I see your name, so I cannot resist to make the joke. Coach Mia Escobar.

My uncle Escobar.

Yes, yes, I know. I have to be careful because if I make too many, then Escobar hits on my shoulder. What did you say?

Be afraid. Be very afraid. Um, I— over, um, at some point you mentioned you traded, and I'm actually very interested in coaching stock market traders. Um, have you used this, um, approach and, you know, with, uh with that particular group? I wonder.

I wonder what was that particular group of those people who make high-stake decisions? Yes. And really come aware from what is happening in your decision-making, which one is there. And also then putting the belief system there when you get really stressed. Because there is research done when stock exchange, and it is actually in a different presentation, And I'm thinking, which one? That's in the, in the data, in the data webinar. I'm just thinking metacognition and interperspective. Stock traders who sense their feelings, actually know what their feelings mean, have higher success rate than stock traders who may become aware of the feelings but don't know what it means, or stock traders who don't feel their feelings. So creating that awareness of what it means Metacognition gives a massive change already in the results they have. Okay, my metacognition right away jumped out of the roof six weeks ago when I made the wrong decision. Sometimes we as a doctor, we know what to do, but we don't know how to treat ourselves. I knew that one day later. Okay, but yes, it helps because the moment you start training them, then you start training them in the metacognition, interperception, you can aware what's happening, and from there you can. Train them. Okay, what is actually stopping that you really listen to that internal feeling so that you analyze those internal feelings? I didn't ask the question because I was doing by myself, and there was not somebody who said, "Oh, stop now! What are you doing here?" And I thought, "Oh, again, that's the beauty of iPhones now. You do chuchuchuk sell, and in two minutes you can have done a soul sell. While in the old days you had to call somebody and all kinds of stuff ten twenty years ago." So I did it. And the results are massively the same. I did it, say, with people who do negotiations. And I once did a training on people who do negotiations and the manager or director actually of the company said, Chris, you say you're so good in negotiations. I thought, oh, this goes the wrong way or the good way. He says, if you're so good, then probably then the result of negotiations should that I give less discount. So that means if it doesn't work, I like to have a lower price, which is what you actually now ask. And I smiled and said, that's okay. He said, oh, that's okay. I said, yes, but if they have more, I like to have also a bonus. So I'm going to charge you more. You get more, I get more. And he said, stupid enough, yes. He had to pay me 50% more. the end. Having said that, he did it with a smile because he said, what I have to pay you more is actually 1/10 of what I, or what we have more as profit. So that's a good deal. So I know it worked in that part because actually also negotiations, am I going to give something away or not? That is that tension moment. Do I get the assignment or not the assignment? Do they say yes or no? Say yes. That's not stock changing, but it is the moment from Are they going to buy? Are they going to say yay or no? What is happening in those split moments? And by training on them, we got a massive change in that part. So yes. Maria Munas, also a beautiful name. What's your question?

Hello. My question is, I, I've never thought about the gut. Brain. So how can I align my gut to my heart and brain? How is that process?

It's a little bit too long to give you all the explanation, but the first one is you start noticing it, you start listening to it, becoming aware that it has a voice. And it can be from simple physical exercises to come over, hey, I feel my sensations there, I need to go I need to go to the bathroom. I'm hungry. I really start noticing and listening to it. But if you are hungry, that's a beauty one. Like going to the bathroom, most times you know what the answer is. Yes, no, you know what to do there. Yeah, that is a simple number one or number two. When you're hungry, there are different options. What would you like to eat? And your head brain can step in and say, oh, the pizza from yesterday. But if you really start listening, your gut can say something, or your stomach, that's part of your whole system, can say something different. What does my body really need in this moment? Is it not what I like that it has, but what does it really need? And those sensations help you actually start listening to the sensations that happen there. And training, now actually, when we talk about what I just said, this, there was the negotiation people, we start to train them actually On the sensation, what does that sensation mean? So they had to track down the whole week when they were hungry. What did their body say? And the first week it was almost all the fast food. There were negotiations and they loved to say the fast food chains. When we start going, when they came aware, the signals was not only fast food, but that was actually what was programmed in their body or in their minds. When they really start listening, their body said something different. And that helped them already to get that inner perspective in there. And of course, you have them to love journaling or really having to make those notes because I forced them. And because it was a paid job, I could force them to start journaling, to make notes every day. What is happening? What's happening? If you do it by yourself, I'm not a journaling guy. I say that right away. Don't ask me to do journaling because I'm the first one that falls off the bandwagon. But if people love journaling and I send them every day a message from, okay guys, girls, what did you write down? What was your signal? So I ask them every day, they started to become aware of it. That's one. And secondly is asking yourself the question, say I would just follow my gut feeling, what would I do? It is creating an awareness that you have it. And then later, when you become aware that probably beliefs, culture, experiences actually let your heart override your gut. And that's just an assumption based on your name, Maria, that you're coming from a South American or maybe Mediterranean background. That is my assumption. I assume not. Yes. So you are raised in a different kind of culture where, say, as a female, You're not an egocentric prick like we Nordics. I come from the Netherlands. We put our parents in an aged care center. Probably from your education, you take them home. That's a totally different kind of perspective. So you learned socially that your heart overruns your gut system. So then it is learning also as a second step, how can we put those belief systems or values appropriate to the context. So when I talk about my parents, yes, I follow them. When I talk about, I don't know, something else, I don't follow them. So it's like compartmentalizing them. But that is not— it's almost impossible to do by yourself. Then you need me or Linda Nieuweling or Maria Teresa Alonso, who you see here. She's also Spanish, so she understands you totally. By the way, Maria, 2 Marias who understand totally, because she can help you then to work on those belief systems. She also did my training as a master coach, 3 Brain Coach. They can help you with those kinds of things because then you need somebody else for there. I hope that answers your question, Maria. And by the way, where are you coming from? Because now, now I'm curious.

I'm from Bogotá, Colombia.

Ah, Colombia.

Yes, but I live in Chicago.

Oh, you live in Chicago. Okay. Okay. That's a totally, that's a culture step you made. Coming from Colombia, and I don't make jokes about Escobar because he's still in training. I come and see, still here. I come over here, don't talk about Medellín. No, we don't talk, kidding. But there's a massive culture step from a social community to a less social community system. So you know what I'm talking about when you talk about belief systems.

And not only beliefs, but values.

Values, absolutely. Yes, I totally agree. And for me, there is no right or wrong, but become aware actually how our values really shape our belief systems and how they shape actually our decision-making. Other kind of questions or things like that for the last minutes? Because it's Friday evening for me and I live in Madrid. So before we have dinner, it's probably 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock. So, Betty.

Yeah, just real quick on— I'm trying to understand when the classes are, like what day, what time, because I'm in Dallas, Texas. It's probably some European time. It's in euros. So how does that work?

work? Okay, good question. Um, Dallas. I love Dallas. And that's not only from the movie we saw in the old days.

Who Shot J.R.?

Yeah, Who Shot J.R.? Yes. I still remember when I visited 3 years ago Texas for being part of the International Coaching Federation, they have to give a presentation. And it's like, oh, I go to Houston, I can see Dallas. Oh, and then I came where Texas is extremely huge.

Oh, it's— yeah, it is huge. You can drive for 7 hours and you're still in Texas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought, you know, I can do a 2-hour drive to Houston, a 2-hour drive to Dallas. And then I looked on the map how much— that's a 4-hour drive. Okay, reality stepped in. Let's say the lack of head brain on that moment that did not do the preparation. Anyhow, my training starts at 4 o'clock in Madrid and Dallas is— is it still Eastern Standard Time?

It's Central. I'm actually in Central, but if you know Eastern, I can just subtract an hour.

Yeah.

It's 7 hours. So that's 7 hours.

Okay.

So that is 4, that is your 9 o'clock in the morning.

Okay.

And the other one is, say, at my 10 o'clock in the morning. So I will not say that's your time because in the middle of the night, that's some crazy time.

So it'd be 9 o'clock in the morning for your 4 o'clock PM. That seems about right. 7 hours. Yeah. And then, um, what day of the week is it?

Always Thursday and Friday.

And I would pick a day.

And so it is Thursday and Friday, and it starts— I just closed my presentation, of course, because why would you be prepared for that question, Chris? That would make sense. That would be a logical, good decision. That starts on the 4th of June to the 3rd of July, just before the 4th of July it ends. Because now the 4th of July, all the people in America somewhere have a big festival because it's, I don't know, it's a special day, 4th of July. So it's just before.

That's why it's 4 weeks. And it's 250th anniversary this year.

Yes, I know.

It's a big deal.

Yeah. It's a big deal. So it's 4 weeks consecutive Thursday, Friday, Thursday, Friday. It's recorded. So if you miss a session, we catch up one-to-one and you see me one-to-one. And if you survive that, then you can go to the next. Then you're totally prepared for the next session. Of course, my option, ambition, and love is that you Not learn it, but master it. I love that you can use this. All your clients feel comfortable. That's it. And I see Doris van Zandt also having your hand up. And, and don't—

Yes, you partly answered, you partly answered the question that I've already put in the chat.

Okay.

Um, and the times that you were just giving, um, to Patty were different from those that are probably being—

Yeah, yeah, the 25th of June.

End of June. Yeah.

That is 9:30 or 10 o'clock it starts. And let me check. I have here 9:30 that it starts. So that should be right.

Okay. And same if I have to miss an hour or 2, because that's something that I can't help. You said you will be recording it and there is a—

We catch it. So we have a one-to-one. So it is there.

Okay.

Of course.

And if you miss 8 sessions, we don't have 8 one-to-ones with them.

No, I wouldn't expect that and I wouldn't want to do that to you.

No.

The other question is a bit of a Dutch one. You mentioned that there would be a rebate for those participating over here. How are we going to get it?

Now, that one I will send an email later on. But what you saw in the slide deck, and it's also in the recording already, I'll do a stop share. I'll do a share so you can see it. And this Dutch question, I love that question. You use the code 3BRINSTEN.

Oh, I see.

You get a 10% discount on the price.

BBrands10. Okay, good.

Thanks.

No, it's all pleasure. It's a really important question because at the end of the day, I like to get paid and you like to— I would assume you like to pay. That's an assumption. So it makes sense to have that clear.

Great. Thanks.

Thank you for being there and asking the question. So this is it. If you have questions later on, Please ask, because as I say, if you do an amazing job, we make our clients better, we make our world a little bit of a better place. And for me, I don't know how it's with you, I really hate it when I talk to a company and I talk about toxic leadership in a company. I really have something like, what the beep is going on there? Why don't you dare to take a decision and take the toxic leaders out? What is happening there? Why would you let people go into burnout and all that kind of stuff? Why would you do something like that to people? And asking the why question is a really stupid question because answers you don't like to hear. But those are my internal questions that jump up in my own little head. And so that's there. And just curious, Mrs. Escobar, where are you located? Are you really in Colombia?

Mute.

There, there we go. I am actually Venezuelan, so I'm really— yeah, but I am based in Utah.

Utah. Okay.

Yes. Yes.

Also the States.

Yes.

It is on the map. It's left from Texas, but everything is almost left from Texas. So probably you have the same experience as Maria about the culture change and value change between Colombia and—

Yeah, this is actually the third time I— this is the fourth country I live in. So I was born in Venezuela. I lived in Spain for a while in Barcelona. And then I moved to the Dominican Republic, and now I'm in the United States.

Okay, okay. So yes, really all all the different kind of cultures, although say Spain done it. I have a similarity. You still have dim room, but yeah.

Yes, yeah. Okay, thank you guys.

Thank you guys. I love to see you somewhere. Have an amazing weekend because it's Friday evening. Of course, Patty, have a beautiful Friday because you would still yes, you still have a day ahead of you. And for the same for the, in the States. Love to see you sooner or later or hear from you.

Bye.

Thank you so much. This was great. Bye-bye.