How can we achieve long lasting change with the Head, Heart And Gut brain? Workshop speech

Good afternoon, everyone, and thank you for coming to this workshop at 4:30, late in the day, but welcome. We've got a very special So we have a guest today to speak to you. This is Chris Sneijders, and he's the executive coach and director of hypnotherapy, which is NLP. You might have heard of that before. Chris's passion is to bring out the best in people and companies, embracing the principle of walk the talk instead of talk the talk, and combining all disciplines he has been acquiring along his 30 years of experiencing multicultural environments. Living part-time in Europe and Australia, he's living to the fullest of both his passions. So it's my great pleasure to introduce to you Christ Sniders.

Yeah, applause for yourself. Thank you so much for being here. And yes, it's true, living— just 2 days ago I came flying in from Holland. So I'm still having an idea it's in the morning, so that's okay. Living your potential, and there are no limitations, only in our mind, as NLP would say. And most people would say yes to that, and still it sometimes is hard to change. In the last 30 years, it was also my ambition to get to know why do people not change. I ran a lot of multicultural change programs in businesses because that's where I started my journey in leadership and management training, and bought in for a lot of money, do some trainings, and after half a year everybody was just back at square one. And I thought, how is it possible? So I like to have results because I like to see happy people. I started my journey in doing all those things. And coming from Holland, as you can hear, NLP was rather famous in Holland a long time ago. And so I was one of the first who did the firewalk and those kind of things. And I thought, okay, this is it. But even if you ever did Anthony Robbins and did the firewalk, after 1, 2, 3, 4 weeks, we're back at square one again. And I think, how is that possible? Because if you go there, he's amazing. So I learned a lot more things, and working now with clients for the last 7 years, I see really massive change. And it will be— yeah. So I'm really grateful to meet you here. It's a pleasure to see you all, and I send you love and support, at least for this 45 minutes or hour we are together. And later on, you can also aware why this is such an important sentence. And I came aware life is a journey. It's every day is new, and When you're 47 years young, let's call it young. In the old days it was old, now it's young. You already had 5 billion seconds. And I always wonder, how did you live those? Are you aware of those? Are you just passing by? You think, wow, am I already there? And my passion is really to make, to live life to the fullest. Because isn't it a shame when you're 90 years old sitting on your porch somewhere thinking, I should have done? And for me, the should have done is just a waste of your life. What's the objective? Give you an overview in a short time. You're in charge of your happiness and health. You are in charge. No medications, no— all those things you think you should take externally are not needed. Of course you need food and nutrition, but they will not cure your real issues. Whatever anybody is saying, they will not. Pitifully. But everybody likes to have a quick fix. Sniff some oil and all your things are done. Now, to be honest, get a life. If that's the cure, the pharmaceuticals would have bought that patent and sold it for a shitload of money. Nobody can beat the pharmaceuticals. One on first, one on four ladies in America is on depression medicine. They make more than $125 billion of revenue, of profit every year. You cannot beat the pharmaceuticals. If something works, they buy it or they kill it. There's only 9 steps. Why 9 steps? Because somewhere, of course, a step can be divided, but it is— if you follow those, life is easy. It doesn't mean the way is easy. And how it's all connected with hypnotherapy, NLP, and all the other things I do? For me, what's my passion? I would say compassion and love. That's where life starts with. Nobody is born in hatred. Even if somebody has a horrendous rape history somewhere in Iraq or in Syria, the child is born in love if everything is okay. And there's no mom who gets birthed and says, oh shit, I'd like to throw you away. We are all born in love, and somewhere during the journey we forget that part. And of course, I have prepared the whole presentation. It's also nice if somebody has a specific question to get an answer on that. So if there's somebody who really has a specific question or something like, I would like to know that part, or could you touch on that part, what would you like to get out of it? Because at least I can do my extreme best to Blend it in. Otherwise, you have to listen what I prepared. And it's better that I connect with you and that I answer your questions. Hey, do you have something that you really like to get out of this? Yeah. Luckily, somebody there to speak because the most fear of people is speaking out in a crowd. So great job. This is about the three top negative habits. Yes. And one of mine, I think that I'd like to. My biggest breakthrough at the moment is tea, drinking tea, caffeinated tea.

Caffeinated tea.

I'm obsessed. I come from England, so the habit I picked up in England, and I find it really hard to break. Okay. At the end in the presentation we talk about belief systems, and that's what's— but somewhere if you get those out, everything is easy. It doesn't mean getting belief systems out is easy, but if you get those out, it's easy. Tea drinking, yes, that's a nice thing. Happiness. I came aware of these numbers because I love happiness, and I thought let's just share those stats. And this is just the people who go to a GP, so are somewhere in a system. So in the system, 45%, almost one of two. So that means this crowd will experience somewhere mental health condition. One out of five of people. yearly has depression or anxiety or whatever. So if you do the math from these people, it means at least 4 or 5 people are suffering from it. That's amazing stats. It's almost shocking that with all the science we have, we can fly to the moon, these numbers are there. And if you look at kids, I almost can start to cry. The number of suicides and drug abuse and those kind of things that kids have. These are Australian numbers. of health. It's almost shocking. 12% having thought of suicide, of kids. That's 1 out of 10. Now, for everybody who's a parent, think, oh, do the math. Look at an average school class of 30 people, 3 kids have thought about it. The number of mutilations girls do is horrendous. When I see my practice, they just do cutting themselves. And there's the Give you a nice heads up for everybody who's in a relationship. One of two marriages fails in the Western world, and the people who don't break up, 40%, are in an average relationship. So that means we stay together for the kids, for the money, for we know each other so long, it's too easy. One out of 10 or have a great relationship, and one out of 100 have really have a good, good, good Amazing relationship, and one out of thousand is a soulmate relationship. So when we talk about happiness and really creating your happiness in your life, most people just accept, and that's a pity because we're not born to accept; we're born to live, in my opinion. How can you live it now? What are the nine steps? It sounds sometimes too obvious to be true, but just come aware of really your. Satisfaction and unsatisfaction. When I see people as a therapist or as a coach, they say, yeah, I'm not really happy. About what? About life. Wow, that's huge. About what? That's hard. So really become aware, what is it actually what is bothering you or not? Or where can you increase that happiness? Because if I ask now numbers from 1 to 10, who dares to say that in happiness he or she is a 10? Almost nobody dares. Yeah, they can say 9.5, but almost— I never saw somebody who dares to say a 10, except Anthony Robbins. And we can still discuss that part if he did.

Yeah.

And then the next step is to become aware how you really— what it does for you and how you feel about it. And how you feel about it, that's something extremely important where we come touch later. Because your issues are not in your head. Most of the issues are in our body, as we call the subconscious. But I split the subconscious in different kind of things. And people have to become aware that they can change. They don't have to accept. If people accept they have an illness, they will have an illness. If people accept this is what life is, they will accept this is life. But you don't have to accept. Just imagine Do you know how many times you fell down on your butt before you started to walk? On average, a thousand times. According to my sister, I five thousand times because I'm clumsy. Don't believe your older sister. Thousand. Just imagine as a baby you had the resistance to get up a thousand times to start walking. Now you just accept I cannot. Doesn't make sense. But you have to get the awareness. Yes, it's possible. Then an understanding how the head, the heart, and the gut brain works. So not about conscious-subconscious, but that we actually have a brain there, and they stop you, 9 out of 10. Listen to more the music, broken hearts and those kind of stuff. We all know a heart can break, but physically you have 90,000 brain cells in your heart. It can remember. You have 500 million brain cells in your gut. That's the size of a cat brain. And then also, and that's where most things stop, that you're safe to change. Most people don't feel safe to change because change means I have to do something different, and that's dangerous because you know what you have, but you don't know what you will get. So if people like to change, they have to know it's safe to change. And it sounds sometimes like safe to change, but if somebody has a real issue not getting out of it— if you're always drinking tea and you say, okay, I'm a non-drinker of tea now. She goes back to England. I never drink tea anymore. Just imagine the number of people say, but you're English, don't you drink tea? She has to get over all that resistance of being called whatever. So, you know, it's safe to express your own needs and your own things, and dare to stand for that. And then also have an understanding why those old beliefs, habits, emotions are not needed anymore. Because when we installed them as a kid, they made sense. Everything we learned made sense the moment we learned them. Once I was bullied— now not once, I've been a couple of years bullied in school. Because I was a sweet boy, and sweet boys get punched. So I went on kickboxing, martial art. And it took me a long time to get aware that I lost 10 kilos. I don't need muscles like this. On one moment I was doing my weights, and I thought, why am I doing this? I don't like this actually, but I've got huge arms. I thought, I love to swim, I love to bike, but biking gives you big legs but small shoulders. And I thought, I'm an adult, doesn't make sense anymore. Nobody will beat me up now. And by the way, I can bike so fast nobody will get me. So in that moment I stopped, lost 10 kilos, and I feel more happy than ever. But you have to get away. It is also safe to get rid of those. And then the real solution, really letting go of them. Knowing and doing is different. Because just think in your life, We all have habits or emotions we like to get rid of. And maybe you thought about it already for years. Maybe you did even therapy, went to psychologist or counselor or all of them above, took some medications, and you still have them. So it's not only willpower, it is something more you need. You're really letting go of them. That's why I say it's extremely easy if you leave the root cause behind. Most therapy, Most pharmaceuticals, almost every medicine pharmaceutical makes will not heal you, will not make you better. Antidepressants, anxiety pills, whatevers, only mask the emotions. They don't make you better. That's why you stay on it for years and years and years, like mowing the grass every time. And they make shitloads of money with it. For me, it is getting the grass out at the root cause. If you get it out, it will not come back anymore. Then install new beliefs, because the moment you get rid of something, there's a void. And if you don't install new beliefs, new ideas, new habits, it will somewhere come back. And a smoker who stops smoking but has this muscle memory, on one moment when the stress is there, something else is going to happen. Hop, hop, hop, hop. They start eating because we did not solve the anxiety that's underneath it. And then live a new belief in your happiness. It sounds so easy. It is easy and it is hard in the same moment. It's both. If I say it's easy, I will do not good to everybody who once tried it already. But it's also easy if you do the right things. So awareness is also getting an insight. I will move away. For one moment, where are you? Lifestyle, social life, personal development—all those little things—and get a real insight. On my website, you can download this one with the questionnaire behind it, and you come aware how you score yourself. That's even fun because if you ask people where they are, they fill out the grid. They do the questions. It's actually different. And by the way, you don't need a ten in everything. You can be extremely happy and not having something. Career in finance, you don't need 10 million to be happy. You just need enough. What enough is, I don't know. Social life, career, self-development, it is all what you like and don't like. There is no right and wrong, there's only a you. And now to the next step you can change. I'm just going to blow your mind and get rid of your beliefs. We all know DNA and genes and all those kind of stuff. They test it out, we have 23,000 genes in our body or in our DNA, and they do everything they say. Not true. They have 190 identical twins in this world who were separated by birth. Not for research, by the way. We're not living in old Germany again, but just because their parents died, disaster, tsunamis, whatever, and they're brought up in different families. So they're extremely good to research because they're identical but brought up in different environments. Oh, beautiful! So those are the most researched people on this world. And they came away, the body, your fingerprint, 97% chance is the same. So 3% is still different, although you were identical twins, eh? The same bodies, the same sperm and egg came together at one moment, 2 kids. So it's actually from one. Your height, 86%, and your weight, 73%. So just imagine, everybody says, oh, I have a weight issue, I've got strong bones. If identical twins already have a 7 to 10 chance to be different, Don't blame your parents. Blame what you put underneath your nose. And whatever the reason for that is, by the way, because it could be extremely good reasons for that. Don't get me wrong, I will never discuss somebody who's overweight. I never forget the lady who came to me and used her weight as a protection mechanism because she was abused by her uncle when she was 8 to 12 years old. And she stopped when she was gaining weight because then she was not attractive anymore. So when she was 45, she was still like this. So who am I to blame that woman? I would never like to have her life. There's always a reason in what we do. Blaming makes me good and somebody else bad. Who am I to be better than somebody else? But if you look at mental or mental issues, it's even more astonishing. Depression, almost no correlation. Identical twins, eh? Panic disorders, even less. Alcoholism is a little bit stronger because really hard drug and really change also your gene set. So what they said popular, what can you do to enhance your happiness? Your genes have one side of the coin. If you know flipping a coin, you have 50% chance. The other part is environment and your beliefs and actions. What do you actually do? Don't blame England for you like tea. And don't blame the Dutch that I'm rude and I'm direct, because it's my choice to do so. And I use the excuse, yes, I'm Dutch, so I'm rude, I'm direct. That's an excuse, because I say what I say. Nobody else is here saying, you're Dutch, say that. Nobody put a pistol against my head. It's us, we can change that. And to do a little exercise to make you a little bit aware, otherwise you only have to listen one moment, you fall asleep. Don't do therapy, so no stress. I'd just like to ask you for one moment to sit down. I will take a chair, I will show you how it's done. You sit down like this, you think about something like a negative event. Please not if you had a really horrendous event in the past, don't think about it, otherwise we have an Stress situation here, but just what you don't like. And really sit like this and think about it. And look at your toes and put your elbows on your knees and really think about something that happened to you that was unfair, not nice. You feel shitty about. You like to kick somebody else's ass. You say to that guy in the car that he's just a big eep because he took took you over. And just think about it. And maybe even feel about it, what happened and didn't happen. And now come aware of the intensity on a scale from one to ten. How intense that feeling is? Now you have all somewhere that intensity. And in one moment, just open your eyes. Just one moment. Just stand up. And then. Just a little shake, and now sit down again. Just shake it off. Now sit straight, really like your spine straight, like you had to do sometimes in old schools. Really straight. With your head a little bit up so you look a little bit above the horizon. And now think about the same event. And think about the same event, what happened. Think about the same event that happened. I don't know. And now I wonder if that intensity on a scale from 1 to 10 is higher or lower than the previous time. I dare to bet for 90% or even more it's lower. And I see nonverbal communication, yes. What does that mean? Everything we experience is actually constructed. We do it. One, with thinking about it, and secondly, even how we Put our body in there. It's all in our head, in our body. And we are in charge of that because you changed at least a negativity feeling or an experience, some numbers within one minute. Maybe intensity was a seven and it was now five. You didn't need a therapist for that or coach. You could do it by yourself by doing that. And if you see depressed people, they always walk like this. You put your body already down. And if you look at Braveheart, the movie, before they are slaughtered, they all stand like this. Of course, you cannot feel pain. You're much more in a different kind of state. I'd like you to do another exercise. I invite you to observe all the things that are red in this room, from shirts or the little owl, and just remember everything that is red. Really become aware of everything that's red. And just remember it, remember it. I will ask about it. Remember everything that's read. Really do your best. This is an exam. I'm just kidding, not exam. Okay, and now close your eyes please. Close your eyes. And now say the things that are really blue in this room. And people think, oh okay, this must be Dutch humor. And if you now open your eyes please again. Just look at everything that is blue, from jeans to shirts to I don't know. Yeah, or the little thing there in front of me. I also yeah, it's blue. And if you now would close your eyes and had to recall everything that's blue, is it easier or less easy than the first question? Probably it's much easier, isn't it? Now, what does this do? And that's now where the NLP and Anthony Robbins and all the gurus step in, all the motivational speakers step in. Focus on your objective and you can do it. Focus, focus. And of course it makes totally sense. If you focus on what is shitty in your life, you will see the shitty things in life. And if you focus on happy things, you see the happy things. Makes sense. But to really solve it And that's why I made these presentations and workshops, because that's where motivational speakers stop. Yes, we can! And then after the workshop, one week later, you think, I cannot. Because our mind is not strong enough. Otherwise, all your issues would be solved already. If your mind is strong enough, nobody would have an issue. We need more. To really solve it. I say that was 30 years ago when I walked on fire and thought, okay, I feel amazing. After three weeks, I thought, hmm, paid thousand euros and still am the same. Hmm. But I learned a lot that somewhere it was not enough. Although Anthony Romans is amazing. Don't get me wrong. He's a beautiful experience. So I'll let you. I invite you just do a self-assessment about how's your energy, your focus, and your happiness. And just scale it from 1 to 10. I don't need an answer based on time. Just make, okay, 9, 8, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Every number is good. It's not about good or bad. It is how you become aware of yourself. If you're not aware of yourself, it's hard to change. Now we're going to do a beautiful exercise. Dat alsof ik de antwoord waarom ik zei dat de zin die ik zei aan het begin is zo belangrijk. Ik wil je inviten en zeggen tegen je nabuur, en als je twee nabuurs hebt, twee nabuurs. Welkom bij de spraakstation. Ik ben dankbaar om je te ontmoeten. Ik zeg je liefde en steun in je leren en ontwikkeling. En als je het doet, dan doe het niet zo. Ik ben blij om je te ontmoeten. Really welcome, I feel grateful to meet you. I send you love and support. Of course, that's not connecting with somebody. Look the person in her eyes when you say it. And please do it with your neighbor. And if you're boyfriend-girlfriend, you can do— you can exercise that the whole evening and just swap and do whatever.

Hi, it's a pleasure to see you guys.

And if you're sitting alone, just go to somebody and say those 3 sentences. So I will do it with you because you're sitting alone. Welcome to this workshop.

Thank you.

I'm really grateful to meet you, and I send you a lot of love and support for this workshop and your life redevelopment. Okay, thank you. And say it to somebody else. Yeah, you all did it somewhere? Yes, everybody, everybody did it? Yes, yeah, I'm just checking everybody did it, otherwise I go I'm going to come next to you, I'm going to— we'll be camera ready when we do it again. And I'll ask you again, how's your energy, focus, and happiness? How do you feel different? I actually think my energy is a lot better.

Sorry?

My energy is a lot better, thank you. Most people will come away, their energy is better, they feel more happy, and those kind of things. And how is that possible? Because for change we need safeness and we need Love and support. We cannot live by ourselves. We cannot be born by ourselves. The first thing that's a good thing if you're born is that you're being placed on your mommy and you feel connection. Connection is the most important thing. So when we change, we need love and support, whatever word love needs, or compassion. That means real human contact. And just become aware when we say hi to each other. Hey, how you doing? And you are not willing to have the answer. Just imagine somebody says, "Oh, not so good." You think you freak out and say, "Oh, let's have coffee." You run away. On schools here, it's not allowed to cuddle or hug anymore. I was just last week in Florence with my older, with my middle son. In Italy, you kiss each other, you hug each other, you walk hand in hand with boys, and nobody say you're gay or you're strange. It makes totally sense. In Australia, if I would If I kiss a lady, I'm sexually abusing her. If I kiss a guy, probably I get kicked in the nuts. So I even don't try. If you do it in Italy or in Europe or whatever, they think it's totally normal. We're alien of human support and connection. So that's— sorry?

Particularly in the United States.

Especially with technology. And how many friends do you have on Facebook? 500. How many did you speak to physically last time? I don't speak to them. We don't do those things anymore. So how do we solve issues? Why are solving issues so hard? Why don't we live our happiness? As I said, we have a head, heart, and gut brain. Head is logic. That's what most men have. En we denken over dat, logisch. We hebben een godbrain dat is verbonden met vreugde en survival mechanisms. En omdat ik was net in de airport vliegen van Europa naar hier, mensen hebben een vreugde van vliegen. Je weet wat, je weet waar ze de meeste tijd op een toilet. Omdat deze deel is vreugde en verbinding, let's go. En deze deel is meestal wat vrouwen hebben en ze communiceren is van de hart. Dat is waarom mannen en vrouwen hebben zoveel moeilijkheden, omdat we logisch. And a woman just likes to have compassion and connection. Yes, honey, but I'm watching something. And so we communicate on different levels. And why do we have an issue? Actually, because we think about the future. That creates anxiety. Tomorrow I have a presentation here. Anxiety. Or you think about something that happened in the past that you're not happy about, and it creates depression. We start resolving our past. That should not have been told to me. That should not have been done to me. That is not fair. And it creates issues. And then how you think about it creates issues. And that's why mindfulness is so amazing. But only mindfulness is 24/7. Mindfulness is not doing a meditation for 30 minutes and thinking the other 23 hours I'm okay. Uh-uh. Mindfulness stops growing the grass, but you have to do it 24/7. Because if you stop growing the grass for half an hour, in 2 weeks' time you have to start mowing again. That's why mindfulness is so hard, because it has to be a life, not a technique. And then, as we spoke about T, we have belief systems, what we should and shouldn't do. Girls should wear dresses, boys should be tough. The values from where we come from, from Holland or other kinds of countries, what you should and shouldn't do. Open a door for a lady. And there is no right or wrong, this is how we believe things. And of course the justice system. The justice system creates almost all the issues we have. Justice system means I say it is not fair what happened. You are ugly, you are great, you are fat, you are thin. Every judgment we make is right or wrong. The moment that is broken, we like to have revenge. But we cannot have revenge for the past. If I was beaten up when I was 13 to 16, I cannot change it anymore now. Now thinking, they should— I hope they have a horrible life, makes my life horrible. But my justice system, because I shouldn't have been beaten up, is violated. So it took me a long time to get over that until I accepted, you know, justice will not be done and just accept that part. Or do you like to visit them and beat them up? And probably they are still huge, so probably I know the answer. And of course there are actions and behavior. How do we install them? How do we keep those? And they are different. And action and behavior is what you actually do. Do you make that tea or not? Besides what you believe or don't believe, do you do the action? Do you eat? Do you don't eat? Do you think about it? Don't think about it. And if you do, what do you do to stop it? Nothing, or do you say, I stop next time? And then the last part, I'll just put in one box, is the body. The energy, the chakras, the emotions. It's a huge chunk, but that's where actually almost everything is stored. Everything that we cannot understand is stored there. Everything that happened to us before we were 7 is stored there. Everything that happened before we were 4, 100% is stored there, because nobody has a memory before 4 years old. Now this does not mean you did not live before you were 4, but it's just stored there. So it means if your parents dealt with conflict in a certain way, you learned it in that way. If you were crying and your dad said, hey, you big fuck, just go to bed, or Otherwise I slap you, or I put you alone. You don't remember that, but you feel it. And all kinds of other things. So that's why it's so hard to change, because all those things are somewhere interconnected. And you can right away see psychologists go there, or a little bit there, behavioral therapy, physiotherapists, chiropractors, aromatherapy, all the other things. They all take one piece. But if you don't take all the pieces, it will come back somewhere. And it doesn't mean it will not soothe you in one moment, because everybody knows if you have one bottle of whiskey, you don't think about all your issues. Yeah, the morning after you do, because you have a head like, whoa, don't touch me. But it will only soothe the issues. Doing drugs, the same. It will just soothe. Taking depression pills, anxiety pills, all that kind of crap. It will just soothe you, but it will not help you at the end. It will not solve your issues, pitifully. And then we go to head and heart, gut, and then we come really emotional. When we have an emotional state, and we guys blame of course all the girls to have emotional states all the way, although we also have a lot of emotions, only we don't know that we have them. Because depression, anxious, or optimistic, And you make that state to make a decision, you know what your outcome is? An emotional outcome. If you are way too optimistic, you have an outcome that is maybe too optimistic and will not be true. If you are depressed or anxious, you make a decision to get out of it. If you are not happy with something or you feel pain in a relationship or an issue and you walk away from it, Most people walk away to less pain. That does not mean they walk to happiness. They walk to less pain. Because in the stats of marriages, the second marriage fails even 60%, because most people don't learn from it and do the right thing again. By the way, I know that. People who know me know, yes, Chris, you did it. Yes, slow learner, I know. Because you have to change yourself to make different decisions. On the other hand, if you go to the business world, We love to make Excel sheet decisions. Does it fit in the profit and loss? Does it fit in the Excel sheet? Is it logical? The man way of doing stuff. Now look at Trump. Success. So you make rational decisions, irrational outcomes. And then you go to companies and they say, why don't we have a team? Why are we not working together? Because you all think about your head and about if the person fits in an Excel sheet. If you go to sport, one of my hobbies, because I love sport, there is no sport coach who says, let's put all the sporters in a sport team in an Excel sheet. A great coach builds a team, and it's based on actually combining those 2 things. Ronaldo, the best soccer player in the world, or Messi, whatever you like to say, you don't put him back as a goalie. You let him be a striker. Dat is de rationele part. Maar hoe doe je hem motiveren dat hij zijn beste ding maakt? Hoe doe je hem motiveren? Dus je moet beide gebruiken. En dan kom je in dat deel, de drie van hen verbinden. En dat is waar de meeste dingen falen. Wat ik een paar jaar geleden ben bewust van, we kunnen het veranderen. En als ik met mensen werk, of het nu in de coachingwereld of in de therapiewereld, zijn de veranderingen massief. And I think, is it so easy? Cannot be true. They're just lying to me that they're happy now. Because sometimes I even don't believe the successes I have. I think they must be lying to me. But no, if you do the right thing and you connect with people, it happens. If you find it on the right spot, it's there. So how does it work? And let's do a little exercise because I have to fit in time how it works. I'm gonna do it all together because if I put somebody here and ask it and demonstrate those kind of things, I know we run out of time. And I like to experience more things, so I thought, okay, let's do it out there. And I will just ask you, I will ask you to close your eyes. Why is that? Not because I like to put you in hypnosis, but if you open your eyes, you will think, hmm, people think I'm crazy now. Or you look at people and think, oh, we're doing crazy stuff.

Yeah.

So you're disconnecting from the outside world and all the judgments of other people. On the other hand, you can also more focus on yourself. An inwards focus, and I will ask you to put your fingers or hand on your head, whatever you like to do, and then just say out your own name. So mine, and I say really soft. My name is Chris. My name is Chris. And and please on the on the front of your head there, not on your temples. And then come aware. What does your head? How does your head respond? When it's your own name, most times it's neutral or it's okay or whatever. Yeah, that, that, that. Awesome, because he was having his hand there. Then the other one, and now you put your hand on your heart. And if you're lefty like me, you put your left hand there. And if you're righty, the other hand. You place it on your heart and you say again, my name is, and then your name. And just come aware how your heart responds. And come aware how it responds. And I think half of you already come aware it responds different than if— than your head. It doesn't have to, but it could respond differently. And the last one is to put your hand on your tummy or your gut, whatever you say, and to say again, you know the sequence, the drill, my name is, and just come aware how your Gut response. For some people, it's somewhere the same. Some people feel already difference in the three places. So your three brains could have a different kind of response on your own name. So just imagine if you like to change somebody, change somebody, heal somebody, and just say it here. Then this one can say yes. This one say uh uh. I'm not going to do that. Or this one says, whoa, I don't dare to do that. So you have to align those. This is your own name. And now come really aware. And I just put the name there. You can use whatever name you like to do. I said Michael Jackson or Beyoncé because most people know those. If not, use another fake name. If you have a nickname, because most people here are emigrated from where, I'm Christoffel, Chris, Christopher, whatever, use your own name. If your native language is not English, I would like to invite you to talk in your own language. So I'm Dutch, so I would say, hey, mijn naam is Christoffel. And nobody who's Dutch here will think, what is he saying? And why is that? Because you'll have a totally different response. I know that for sure. I just say, and you can say Michael Jackson or Beyoncé or whatever name you like to do. If you like to do Prince Harry, it's also okay for me, or his wife. I lost his name. Her name, and just put it there and just say, "My name is," and then a fake name. Yes, put your hands there and just say a fake name. My name is whatever the fake name is. Become aware of it. And then, of course, put your place your hand on your heart and say the same. My name is now the same fake name you had. Become aware what's happening then. And I see somebody laughing, but hey, that's a different response there. And last but not least, you know already what's happening. Put your hand on your gut and say the same fake name. And you become aware when something is not true, your 3 brains have a different kind of response. But also their response on the no is different. With with laughter, joy, or whatever. If I put there Donald Trump in, some people have something like a disgust somewhere there, and they feel really disgust because they don't like to say my name is and what. So one of your brains responds totally differently. When you work with people, if it's now in company change with CEOs who make decisions. Or in clients who like to solve, I don't know, smoking, weight loss, abuse, depression, anxiety. Somewhere you have to align those. A CEO wants to make a decision, should I buy or not buy, should I sack or not sack people or project? And they call me and say, Chris, could you help me out? Because I have to make a decision and I'm totally messed up. What they actually mean, I got different responses and I don't know what to do anymore. And they ask me, to which one should I listen? I said, don't listen to one. Yeah, but if I listen to all 3 of them, they make a huge mess. Okay, so then we have to align them. And they ask me actually, help me to align myself. Because the rational said, yes, sacking people is good for my bonus. Oh, but they have wives and families, that hurts. But if you don't do it, you get sacked by yourself. So it's a personal connection with other people and a logical mind. Then they have to connect somewhere, and they have to make a decision. So I help them not to make the decision, but to align. Because it's not for me to say what people should or shouldn't. And if you'd like to try that at home, and you have a native language, just use your own name once in your native language and in English. You become aware that there is a huge difference. Because in your own name, probably you were called by your parents, and when you emigrated later on, You are called by colleagues or friends in your name. Now we talk about beliefs, T, or whatever. Beliefs are the scripts of our life. Whatever we believe is right or wrong, or should or shouldn't be done, is what runs our show. And the beliefs actually we hold true despite the evidence to the contrary. I was in Florence last week. I never saw so many churches, no belief in God. En al die doelen prayers. Being born and raised in Holland, I have a different kind of belief in that part. But they believe. Don't tell them God does not exist. You have a huge discussion and your wine is probably spitting. So belief is everything there. But also belief about what is good and not good. You walk downstairs. What is good? Good food, not good food. What is nutrition health-wise, not health-wise? What should we eat or shouldn't eat? What do you really believe? In Italy, pasta. Otherwhere, fish. Otherwhere, Dutch milk and bread.

What do we believe?

And we hold them on 3 spots. Here we can say, I should change. But in here, say, yeah, but I'm Spanish, I'm Italian, I'm Dutch, I'm Australian. That hurts. And here, some of that survival mechanism says, I don't know if it's good for me. I don't know if I have the courage. And how do we get those? By traumas. And a trauma can be everything. Can be beaten up, can be that your sister took your doll away and just cut it in pieces. Somebody is looking to his girlfriend, that happened to you? I'm kidding. And to survive that event, we learned a belief system. I was four weeks in hospital when I was five, two weeks in isolation because I had something contagious. I never understood why I have an issue with being alone until I found the link. Hey, I was two weeks when I was five years old alone on my birthday, and people in totally white with things on their mouths came in with a with a with a cake and walked away again. But my parents were not allowed until I really had that idea. Okay. Oh wow, now I know it's stored. So somewhere it was stored. And of course you're learning from parents, family, school. I was watching The Big Bang Theory yesterday and Penny had a breakup, an old movie, and she was putting whipped cream in her mouth. So we learn that if you're feeling shitty, you eat ice cream, whipped cream, you drink wine. So we learn all those belief systems. If you're shitty, you eat like hell. Doesn't make sense. That's how we learn it, or your friends or whatever. Most people start to smoke based on their friends, and now they say yes because it helps me to relax. And I think everybody of us has somewhere one of those who said, oh yeah, I remember those. That's me, or all of them. Kidding. I should be perfect. I cannot fail. My emotions are great indicators. I have to avoid rejection. So I have to please everybody. A lot of moms have that. I'm not good enough. 90% of females have that. And at least 80% of men. I cannot do something. The critical voice, you cannot do that. Born for a penny, you will stay a penny. You're not slim, smart, attractive, etc., etc. I did once an exercise in a training group. Tonight you have to say to yourself when you're standing totally nude in front of the mirror, I love my body. Next day, I asked how many people did it. Less than 50%. More than 50% could not say in a mirror to themselves, I love my body. Isn't it amazing? Why would you hate your own body? Just imagine what it does with your body. Can you remember I said, I send you love and support for this session, and I'm happy to welcome you? How it made you feel, so you can say to somebody else, not to your own body. What do you what will your body do? Reject you. Is that you know? F you. If you don't if you don't love me, F you. I'll get sick. I'll get issues. And life's not fair. It's not fair. Just deal with it. But this is judgment. How do you mean it's not fair? You know, we're extremely lucky. We're not living in Syria. Somebody says, oh, life's not fair, I have a hard job. Okay, go to Syria. In one day you want, you beg to come back. Then you say, okay, now we have quite a good life here, by the way. I enjoy my life here. But we are so spoiled, quote unquote spoiled, in what we have. So if you have a little bit less, I don't have the latest iPhone, oh, my dad doesn't love me, I didn't get the last iPhone. Get a life. So to come back, to sum up, how do we operate? Our deepest part is instinct. That's what we learn the first year of life. When we are born, the only thing we can do is drink some milk, poop, scream and don't scream. We can even not walk, we cannot talk, we can do nothing. It's all survival. And the only thing little kids want is happiness and avoid pain. They don't know the word hatred. They don't know the word guilt. They don't know the word really angry. Because when they're angry, they're not angry. It means I don't get my needs fulfilled, probably my mom or a clean diaper. Later on, We get education, as they call that. We learn the values from our parents. We learn how our parents act and don't act. Passion, trust, sadness, anger, uncertainty, loneliness. And we learn that thing somewhere. And when your little baby is sleeping in your same room, and in one moment it goes to his or her own room, it will experience loneliness on that moment. It doesn't mean it's a bad thing. This is how he deals with it. What do you do if he cries or not cries? There's no right answer. But totally ignoring it is, by the way, a wrong answer. It doesn't make him tough. That makes him tough later, but also disconnected from his feelings. Actually. Later, we go to school, and then it becomes real life. We learn justice systems, rules of school, shame and guilt. You are taller, you are fat, you have big tits, you have a small ass, you are tiny, you have got strange hair, I don't know. Shame and guilt is there. And why should we be ashamed of our own body? It doesn't make sense to me. But we learn that. And then we go to work, study, and we learn all the experience. We say This is not declarative memory. We cannot remember that part. We don't know what our mommy or daddy said, or our sister or brother said when we were young. How they cuddled us or not cuddled us. We don't know it anymore, but we remember, by the way. Up to here we can remember. And it's totally invisible for us. This is what we call declarative memory. We can declare what we learned in school, and what we learned at work and study. So both are somewhere in charge. We can think about it and we feel about it. Here we don't think about anything, we just do. And last, a communication presentation. This morning I chose what I was wearing. That's an act, conscious action, and it's visible for others. Everybody sees what I'm wearing. But nobody knows what That's what happened here. Some things are shared, you know. It's just part of it. But it's all hidden. Extremely easy to change. Tonight I can change my clothes in, say, 1 minute. This is extremely slow to change. Because you have to dig deeper or find things that we cannot express. And it's sometimes hard. How can you express something you cannot remember physically? I broke my collarbone when I was 1.5 years old. I never understood why I have a fear of heights until somebody said, you broke your collarbone when you were 1.5 because you were climbing off out of your bed on something else and then beep, went down headfirst.

Oh.

Still good to have a head according to my sister. Then everything started. But I have a fear of heights. Why? Because somewhere I learned how painful it is to fall. Doesn't make sense to me until I start understanding it. Oh wow, so my body, my subconscious knows it's dangerous to be on something. Doesn't make sense to me. Now, if you like to change, get the last part. Here you change by mind power. Mind power is change my clothes. Easy. Sometimes, although wearing something doesn't fit is strange. That will teach me not to push all the buttons in the same moment. If you go a little bit deeper, you like to change that, go to counseling psychology or NLP. Because psychology and counseling Is talk therapy, and talk therapy means we have to change by talking. And do with all respect about psychology and counseling. It takes a shitload of time and doesn't work a lot of things. CBT, they say, is great. Wow! Okay, third time. So my learning curve is extremely slow. That makes sense. I like that you see it all the time, so it really stays in you. Said, oh yes, he messed it up so many times. Probably it's important because it's talk therapy, and that means we still need this to change. CBT they work for a lot of things because it's extreme. Oh, does it by itself? Okay. Oh, that's even better. Okay, so then I have to be in charge of that one. Okay, that's good to know. So if you go deeper. Because now I know it works by himself, so it's not me. That's good. If you go deeper, you need 2 things more: hypnotherapy or Living Your Potential. That's the workshop I created, because there we connect all those things that really make the change. Hypnotherapy is amazing, not because I teach it, it's amazing because it goes really into that heart and gut brain, because it connects there. It takes away your Head brain for a moment. Doesn't mean we take your head away, but it just stops for one moment. And then you can really connect with the change. What does your heart or what does your gut say? What kind of change is needed or not needed? That's the magic power of hypnotherapy. Why is it not done by everybody? Because we cannot research it. All the things we do in treating people is research-based evidence. So you have to do research. One group gets this, One group gets something else. Blind studies. CBT is protocol, so it's extremely easy to do so. Cognitive behavioral therapy from psychologists. That's why it's the most researched therapy. It's not successful, but you can research it. Hypnotherapy is working with a client with his or her needs. So sometimes we say just close your eyes and do whatever, and sometimes they close their eyes with something totally different. And sometimes we even say don't close your eyes. So there's no protocol for an issue. So it's evidence-based research, and no pharmaceutical or government will support that part because we cannot prove it, although the proof is out there. So it's much harder. And by the way, Pfizer and all those kind of pharmaceuticals don't earn any money with it.

Hmm.

That's how it's not supported. That's a pity. And the Living Your Potential workshop, where you also are living your potential, Means we connect those things so we get you through all those steps. In playing like you did now, only then also playing sometimes being there and somewhere else, much more intense, because we connected with what are your objectives. And we don't need to know what happened to change it. Somebody says, let's relive what happened once a day, is going to the ER after you broke your arm, it's healed, and they take the plaster off and say, okay, let's break it again. Because then we know it's rather good healed. Now, would you go to somebody like that? No. So why would you relive your pain? You don't need to relive your pain, you just have to get rid of it. And that's what we do in that workshop. The therapy does amazing. Now, knowing that this works by himself, the last slide: your body keeps the score. Your body is in charge. Self-regulation depends on having a friendly relationship with your body and mind. And dare to say, I love myself. And I challenge you all, go tonight in your bathroom, wherever you have a mirror, look at yourself and say, I love my body parts. Even the parts you don't like, and say, I love it. And some people are not able to do so, I can tell you now. No, but my butt is not good enough. I got skinny legs. You can still love your skinny legs. You don't have to say they're skinny. Why would you? Would you go out to somebody who says, no, you've got a big butt, ugly toes, and I don't like your hair? You would say slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, bum, close the door. He's not a friend of me anymore. But you say it to yourself. Are you going to defriend yourself on Facebook? That's also a hard thing, by the way. If you don't do that, this is what's going to happen. You need medication. Drugs, alcohol, or other addictions. You will soothe your pain with something else. And I call the word pain, you will soothe with something else. Eating, whatever. Food can also be there, because we're all addicted to sugar. We are made addicted to sugar. And you need reassurance and compulsive compliance of the wishes of others. We like to please other ones because if I'm not good enough, if I don't love myself, I need somebody else to say me I love me. Could you please tell me I love me? Because I don't say it to myself, so I need you to tell me that. So we get needy to our partners and those kind of things, to our kids, to our parents, because I need somebody next to me. So those are the people who say, do you like my shirt, by the way? They need reassurance. And do you see I lost some weight? What kind of life? So weird, and it didn't solve their issues. And the last thing, it will end into the popular things that 1 out of 5 people have, depression or anxiety at the end. Because if you don't deal with it, your body will say— and the other thing that will happen, and I didn't put in there because otherwise people start kicking my ass, is diseases. 95% of cancer is done by yourself, by What you have in your mind and how you think about yourself. Breast cancer, 95% is coming from grief. 95% cancer is coming from grief. Breast cancer. Autoimmune diseases, childhood abuse and autoimmune diseases, extremely strong correlation. That means physical, sexual, or mentally abused when you were a child. When you really have a trauma in your childhood and never solved it, one moment, you stay in the fight-or-flight response the rest of your life. If you're in a fight-or-flight response your life, in one moment your body says, I've waited 30 years, 40 years ready for fight-or-flight. I cannot beat somebody up, I will beat my own body up. You create autoimmune disease. It's really true. You can go to all the research and find it. I'm not the only one who says it. Of course, the guy who says this is Bessel van Kolk, and he's professor at Harvard. And he wrote the book Body Keeps the Score. He just dared to say those kind of things. If he's professor at Harvard University, I dare to copy that word. So it will somewhere stop. Last slide to connect with the time. How was it for you? What did you achieve? If you like to see a workshop, there are all the brochures. Just take them with you, please. There's even a workshop, there's an expo discount. We've got 3 different things to work with you. If you'd like to see me in private for a session, love to see you, but those 3 beautiful women there in front are my colleagues and they are freaking amazing. They solve almost all your issues, basically. They let you solve your own shit, but they'll facilitate that part and help you out in those kind of things. Yeah, so I'd love to see you in one of the workshops, because then what we do here goes much, much, much, much further. And based on the things that happened in those 3 days, I always think, wow, I really am astonished what you can achieve. The only thing is doing facilitating, because I don't do nothing except facilitating the process. I've got an easy job.

So is the information available on your website?

Yeah, it's on my website, it's on the brochures there. Every day. And if not, my number is there, my email is there. Just call me, text me, email me, and I'll come back to you. Because as I said at the start, my passion is to make this world a better place. I've got 3 kids. I would love they live in a world where hatred is less and we still have an environment. Where animals in the sea don't die from eating plastic. Where Trumps are not chosen. Where love is the common word, like John Lennon once was singing. Love is the common word. Imagine because we can. Imagine because we can. Hatred is what we learn based on the fact that I think I know what you should do. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for doing these little exercises. That's our applause for yourself because you did the job. And if you have any questions, I don't know, I will say I have a social life. I'm still here. You can just ask me or one of those beautiful ladies there about anything else, because they know what I'm doing. And they are more honest than I am, because I'm just extremely enthusiastic about it, because I see the change in people.

Thank you.