Why Successful People Think Differently Than You Do

Hello everybody and welcome back to The Advisor with Stacy Chelemi. And I'm very excited because we have our very special guest today and he is Coach Christoff and he is amazing. He has a website called 3 Brain Intelligence and it's lead with your heart, your, your gut, and your mind. And we have such an amazing time when we talk because he has such great knowledge in this area and he's going to talk today about How to Set Up the Best Year You've Ever Had in 2025. And this is what I want to hear, because as you know, most of us, when it comes to New Year's resolutions, we don't follow through. And he's going to show you how you could have your best year ever and how it is actually possible to follow through with those New Year's resolutions. I also want to mention that Christoff has also been nominated as the top 2 percentile for his podcast. He is popular worldwide, and he was just rated the top 2 percentile. He is on our channel. You can find his own podcast if you look for him. You'll just type in his name and you will find him anywhere, or you can go on speaker and you will see him right next to us. His channel is right there. So I suggest you see his previous shows. He has amazing shows, and if you like, follow, and just— and you'll get notifications when he comes on, and we really encourage you to follow through. So, Christophe, It is amazing to have you back on the show. I love this topic about following through with your New Year's resolution and having the best year possible because, you know, that is something very hard to do. We make great resolutions, but a lot of us don't follow through. So how can we have the best year ever for 2025?

First, thank you for being on your show, Stacy. I said also thanks to you that we're based on your beautiful topics and questions we get. Beautiful listener views and people really learn, change their lives. So thanks to all of us. And yes, New Year's resolutions. You see me already moving, getting totally enthusiastic because it is so beautiful to see and so frustrating to see. First, let's give some statistics why this is hard. Maybe people, you know, the Strava app, that is the app of sports. And they actually, based on their research, they introduced today Quitter's Day. And Quitter's Day, if you don't, yeah, really. They, so they researched. So on the 1st of January, 2nd of January, you see a huge influx on the Strava app of people who go to sport and go to the gym and say, okay, we're going to lose that, those Christmas Hanukkah kilos. 17 days later, You see a massive drop of more than 90%.

Wow.

So within 2 weeks, everybody, now almost everybody falls down. And that in, in say, if, if after 2 months is almost the same numbers as before the 1st of January. So most people fall down. So if you don't succeed in your New Year's resolutions, You're not a failure. It's not your fault. Um, just join almost everybody of us because almost everybody has the same issue. So it's not about you, but it is actually, and that's what you said, it's our strategy we choose.

Yes.

And to come back and I, and, and I start right away laughing. What is what most gurus advise when you like to go to change?

Would you get the repetition?

Yes. Yeah. Repetition.

Eh?

Van oké, start doing this and start doing this every day for ten minutes, half an hour, or three times a week. And you see them in those gurus. They say take a friend with you or somebody else who supports you and all those kind of stuff. And why do they say that already? Because no, it's a strategy that actually almost always fails.

Right.

Repetition has a success rate of 6%.

Wow.

And what I mean with 6%, that means after the need, the, the time really to change a habit that they say is between 24 and 36 days.

Mm-hmm.

Only 6% sticks somewhere to that.

Right.

So you have, you need the mindset of an Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Usain Bolt, a Tiger Woods. Uh, to succeed or a Serena Williams or a Venus, right? Because it needs a massive amount of grit to do so. And then you could ask, yeah, but if everybody advises it, there should be some truth in it. And yes, it has a massive truth in it when you are a toddler.

Right.

Because I gave you the numbers, Stacy, but do you know how many times a toddler falls down before they can stand up on their own legs?

How many times?

1,000 times.

Wow.

1,000 times. So Stacy, can you imagine a person of our age or between our age, because you're much younger than I am, who would Zijn veel at een habit to change this habit thousand times to come aware thousand and one times I succeed. Do you know an adult person in your neighborhood who would do that? No. Me neither, hè? If you ask me, then I say, let me think about that for some time.

Yeah.

And why is that? Toddlers don't think about the consequence of falling down.

Right.

The toddlers have, say, in that part, the same cause and effect analysis as a dog or a cat. They just do.

Right.

They don't, they don't remember that they yesterday tried 30 times. They don't know that already last week they did it 50 times.

Right.

So every time for them is a new, a new one.

Right.

Now for us adults, we know that, oh wow, I'm already 3 weeks busy with this. In the gym, and I don't see any difference. Oh wow! My scale actually also don't say any difference. I'm actually hungry. It's already three weeks. You know, I don't think this works for me. This is not the right sport for me. This is not the right gym for me. I don't like calanetics. I don't like swimming. I don't like jogging. And boom! They're done.

Right.

And there's nothing wrong with it because we have a beautiful head that knows and remembers.

Right.

So we are actually quote unquote swimming against the current of our own body memory.

Yes.

And that makes it extremely hard. So there is, that makes sense. So repetition is not a solution unless, as I said, you have the same mindset as an, you know, as all those gold medal winners who just stand up after they Right. But if you don't have the ability, willingness, grit to train 4, 5 hours a day like those people do, you can almost say stop it.

Right.

Doesn't make sense. Okay. Now, now we know what doesn't work. Then of course the question, what does work?

Right.

And then you have to go back actually, um, from what is actually stopping me. Now we have, multiple things are stopping me. There's your body memory, your, your muscle memory. So the same as I could now pick up a glass of water without thinking about it, your muscles remember something, so they know how you do something. So you have to go through that. Now that stops you, right? But much more, you have to be aware that we spoke about 3 brains, head, heart, gut together. You know how much energy they take on a daily basis.

How much? 40%. Wow.

And just by thinking and making decisions and doing the stuff they do. So we have 60% of our energy left actually now to survive, to do our work, to cook dinner, to bring the kids home, to help them with their homework, whatever you like to do.

Right.

So let's say your body or your 3 brains are extremely intelligent and they think, okay, whatever I do, needs to make sense because I only have 60%.

Yes.

To do my stuff. So the moment I, let's say, waste my energy, my survival means become less.

Yeah.

So our 3 brains love eco mode. They are the most energy savers in the world. So that means when we like to change something, It needs to have a huge reasoning why.

Okay.

If you don't know the real why, and that is not I like, but I really desire, I want, I need, it will not happen. Then most people stop smoking after they went to the doctor and they got really negative advice.

Yeah.

Oh wow. By the way, I see some spots on your lungs. Ooh, I stop right away with smoking. And they're much more motivated when there's life-threatening because then the gut brain steps in. So your 3 brains take 40%. So we have to come over here. If they take 40%, we need to find something that somewhere the body, the 3 minds say, okay, I'm willing to do so. And then you have to come back, actually, my new habits, a New Year's resolution, what kind of belief can I stick with that, that really makes it happen? I need a belief.

Yes.

Because a belief is something that when the heart or the gut knows this is a belief, it starts just putting actually a brake on the old belief you had.

Right.

And it will actually pull you to the new belief. So as an example, once I came aware, I'm gonna talk about myself. Say I'm Dutch. Now, where is Holland famous for? Cheese, dairy products. Now, cheese is amazing and I love cheese, but if you think about cheese or look at cheese, there's something like 35% of fat in it.

Mm-hmm.

And if your cholesterol is now, say, not always the best, what is the easiest way to skip that? Stop cheese. I was eating something like 100 to 200 grams of cheese every day and sometimes even more because really it was a cheese eater. And then at one moment the doctor said, Chris, it's not dangerous, but your cholesterol is something at, according to statistics, on the high level. So I should do something about it. Why don't you take some medication, some pills? Now me and pills are something like fire and water. We don't do that, right? Because I created it so I can also Change it. But if you were already eating more than 40 years cheese and you love cheese, then just saying I've stopped with cheese doesn't work. And that's repetition based. So I came over here. What kind of belief do I need? And my old belief is I love cheese. Cheese is healthy. You look at all commercials. I'm Dutch. We eat cheese, right? My new belief became actually I like to be healthy.

Cholesterol-wise.

Yeah. And based on I like to be healthy, I stopped eating cheese in one day. I never was eating cheese anymore.

Right.

So my new belief, I like to be healthy, and quote, I don't like to have cholesterol pills, right, stopped it right away. So that belief was actually pulling me every time away from my desire to eat cheese.

Right.

And there was no repetition needed because there was a huge belief system created. I like to change.

Right.

And that belief system overrode all my old belief systems. And it's very unlike to create, say, a New Year's resolution is not what would I like to do, but why would I like to do it? What is the belief that really supports me to do so? And really, I can also believe Right. And when you say it out loud, you really feel it. Oh yes, this is, I feel it in my body almost. This is what I should do. And you can test it if you say, I don't do this belief. If you feel almost a little bit anxious in yourself, because you feel anxious if you don't do it, you know, okay, I will do it.

Right.

That's something you can test yourself in doing. So, and it's amazing when I work with people about belief systems, And we, and we talk about this and sometimes also with New Year's resolutions. Let's say my coaching brought up during their life, they said, I like to change. And I said, Chris, I already worked with 3 coaches, 3 therapists, didn't work. This is me. I'm just easy addicted. I'm just a workaholic. I cannot say no. I like to please people and all those kinds of crappy belief systems.

Yeah.

A word. I say, okay, that's good. This is how you believed up to now. So what kind of belief could there be that overrides all these beliefs and would be so strong that these beliefs are just right away in the waste bin?

Right.

What kind of belief should there be? And if you would not do it, it would create an internal fear of rejection or survival or guilt or shame inside you if you don't do it.

Right.

The moment we somewhere find that belief system, And we start working and implementing that, people change almost overnight.

Mm-hmm.

And they say, Chris, I don't know what happened last week. We did, uh, that session and we spoke about it and we did another session about really installing it. And then we test installing it. And now one week later or two weeks later, depends how many coaching sessions we had in those two weeks, I don't do it anymore. And most times they say, you know, my colleague or my partner says, You changed overnight. What, what on heaven's earth happened with you?

Yeah.

And he says, and they say, it's so strange. If I don't do it, I feel guilty. I feel afraid. I feel somewhere I'm cheating. I don't know what you did, Christoffel. And they blame them, almost blame me because what did you do, Christoffel? But somewhere inside me, it shifted. Can you do it by yourself? Yes and no. But you really have to become aware of what is the belief that really is so strong that it really pulls me to doing what I want to do.

Right.

And that is not, I like to do it. And that is not sending out the behavior. It's not the behavior you like to do, but really the deeper, the why you want to do it.

Right.

What's the deepest why? And really the deepest why. Yeah. So if you write a belief system, why do I like to have this belief system? Why do I like to have that? Why do I have that? Until you somewhere hit the highest intention. This is why I want to do it. And if you hit that one, you're almost there, right? Oh, so I will stop talking because they go, wow. But this is somewhere what stops us, what could make the difference, right?

So really, it's, it's the belief system is very powerful. It's not, it's not just saying I'm gonna do it, but really believing that you wanna do it. And does it have to be a reason behind there, like a really passionate reason why you wanna do it that, that makes that belief system work?

Yeah, the belief system should be somewhere grounded in your values, cultural, cultural system. And how you like to live. I don't know, Stacy. Let's do a test. And you know, like Stacy, just imagine I will be in the same room as you, and I had a beautiful steering and needle full filled with beautiful heroin. Mm-hmm. You would say, hey, Stacy, you have a beautiful needle with steering heroin. Would you like to put it in your arm? What would you say?

No.

No. And why? And why is that? Because you're What's your belief behind it that you say no?

It's gonna hurt me. I'm—

it's gonna hurt you bad.

It's gonna really bad cause a very bad effect.

Really bad effect. So this belief system stops you already. And if people now would see you saying this, nonverbal communication, Chris, you're crazy. This belief system stops you from ever becoming addicted to that part. So strong is the belief system and you don't know because you never used it. So you never used heroin. You don't know how great it is, how beautiful it is, how amazing it is. But your belief system stops you even from trying. And so the belief system should somewhere fit in your values. I'm not a drug addict, I'm not doing that. And you stop right away. Now, so the belief system should somewhere fit in your values, who you like to be.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, if you now go, so if you use a belief system that does not fit who you like to be, then it's the same as repetition. You fail right away.

Right.

Sometimes I see people coming to me and say, Chris, I'm an alcoholic. I like to be not alcoholic anymore. Or they like to say, I like to stop drinking. And they say, but couldn't you make me a social drinker? And I say, only if I'd be 24 hours with you and slap you on your hands when you don't do it. Okay. Can you make me stop drinking? I said, I can make you stop drinking. I said, but why would you like to stop drinking? And then most people say it's unhealthy or whatever, but there's no really, a really strong reason what they like to be. And most times it's a negative belief, what they like to away. I don't like to do this anymore. That's a negative belief. Negative beliefs don't work. So also ask them, what would you like to be? I like to be a non-alcoholic. Yes, but your mind doesn't know non-alcoholic. That's a negative belief.

Yeah.

How do you like to make it positive? Oh, and whatever they then find somewhere, because it could take one whole session from what do I actually like to be, right? And some people say, no, I like to be in control of my, uh, what I put in my own mouth. I like to be in control of what I put in my own body. I like to live healthy. Um, and whatever they come up with, but then They come, okay, this fits me. I like to be an example for my grandchildren. Somebody said recently to me, Chris, I like the, you know, she's from the UK, you know, we English love to drink. I said, now, that's good that you tell me. So my grandkids are somewhere 10, 12, and I can still influence them that they become a non-drinker. So we really should be an example. And she said, so I like to be an example for them.

Yes.

And that was so extremely strong that, and she was drinking, say, really 2 bottles of wine a day. Yeah. So it's not that, that's not a tiny drinker. That's really serious.

Yeah.

I don't like to see her liver, but she stopped really in one day with drinking. She gave all the wine she still had in her house away to all her friends and she actually organized a weekend party for the neighborhood where she gave all the alcohol away and she was on apple juice. And everybody asked, why are you on apple juice? She said, you know, I'm an example for my grandkids. She didn't say I'm not alcoholic, I'm not a non-drinker or whatever. She said, I'm an example for my grandkids.

Yeah.

Boom. And that was it. There was so much power that nobody actually challenged her. So it has to be believed is really strong enough. And then Every New Year's resolution will work. You have to find that, what do I really want to be? Not what do I want to do?

Right.

What you like to do is a result of who you like to be.

Yes.

Now, and then the cravings of the new belief will pull you to say the new behavior. Yeah. And I would say that, yeah, I always say that makes it easy, but then it becomes harder easy. And I say, and I use my own example, of course it's nice if you work with other people and see successes, but testing it on yourself is also amazing to come aware, hey, can I change that? If you have really strong beliefs, can I do those kinds of things? And then you come aware we can, if you really find the right the right sentence, the right belief that your 3 brains, as I also love to talk, still embedded it. For that lady was example for my grandkids, heart brain. For some other people, I like to, uh, really live health, gut brain. Uh, for me it was also gut brain.

Right.

I don't like, I don't like the pills, so I never eat cheese anymore. I will eat, I will become a non-dairy person. Not totally because I still eat my kefir or still drink my kefir. But for the rest, nada. So we can. So stop repetition, start really asking your why questions. And now with the holiday season in front of us, you can make a beautiful game with that with your friends during Christmas dinner. What are our New Year's resolutions? Then everybody says what they like to do and then you can just ask why. What's your deepest motivation? What kind of belief system would you make that happen?

Right.

And they have also, they have at least something to talk about during Hanukkah or Christmas.

How do you, you know, when, when you make a belief system, is there a certain way to make sure that you stick with that belief system? Like, do you, do you write it down? Do you make a plan for yourself? Or is this something that you really embed in your mind? Is it, do you use any type of affirmations? Like, how do we make sure that our belief system stays strong? How can we build a strong belief system so we continue to have success in 2025? So we don't, we, we're not one of those percentages that, that, you know, end up failing. Yeah.

Extremely good question. There are multiple ways to do so. Affirmations work, and we're going to talk about that also, I think, in in other podcasts. For me, what I test with people is what happens when you say it. So the belief system should not be, uh, 5 sentences. It should be something like less than 10 words almost.

Okay.

So you can really verbalize it. And in my 3 Brains Techniques, yeah, you did the same as kinesiology and muscle testing. When people say the belief system, I'm a healthy person, or I'm an example for my, the example for my grandkids. I just ask them, when you say that, how does it feel in your head? He said, that feels good. That feels really empowering. Okay. So it's the right words. He said, these are the perfect words. He said, say it again and put your hands on your heart and say it again. How does it feel? He said, as he began, he started to cry. Okay, I said, what do those tears mean? She says, I felt so much love for my little grandkids and that I like to see them healthy, happy, whatever. They just started to cry. This feels so good. She said, Chris, this is my journey.

Okay.

So I said, okay, put your hands on your tummy. I said, let's say it again. What happens there? And she said again, she said, Who said, my gut actually almost, as I said, because she let a little fart, a little, little fart. She said, it has something like, finally, you're going to take care of yourself and of somebody else. She said, it was almost like somebody was kicking me in the guts, Chris. Do it now. She said, and there were some strong swearing words behind it. I will not repeat for you.

Yeah.

So she really felt it totally aligned in her. So that's a beautiful test to do. How does it, how does your head, your heart, and your gut How does it, what kind of sensations do you get when you say it out loud and make that statement? Now, the moment it feels like she said it, there's almost no affirmation needed. It helps to say it out loud for yourself to really embody it and get it more strong in yourself. But it was, it was perfect. Uh, you don't have to, if it's short, you don't have to write it down.

Right.

The only thing that could happen, that there's an old belief that likes to discuss it. So I'm English and we drink.

Mm-hmm.

As she said, and I don't say that all the English drink, don't get me wrong. I don't like to insult anybody of your country because I know that a lot of countries love their wine and I'm living in Spain and also love wine anyhow. So we tested also how does it connect with that old belief. And she said, Chris, it's really strong. And we just asked, from whom did you learn that belief?

Yeah.

He said, from whom did I learn that belief? He said, that's a good question. Yeah, my dad had always a glass when he came home from work. And then she said, my mom actually not. Oh, So not all the English drink? I said, no, actually not. My dad did, but I, but my mom didn't. I just said, I never realized that.

Yeah.

And somewhere we were breaking down her old belief that there was, that was, and then she had something like, my mom was actually drinking and she never realized it because when she came at her parents' home, when she was living at home, there was always alcohol, but she was not consciously aware that actually her dad was drinking and her mom not. Right. So on that moment, actually says, so belief is not true. So my, so I could actually say my dad was drinking, not all the English.

Right.

English as you can be. So she broke down her old belief. And when that was breaking down, the new belief became stronger and stronger.

Right.

But sometimes you have to be aware what is actually the old belief that is now doing my behavior.

Yes.

Why do you do what you do? And the simple thing is, and that makes change easy, Stacy, all the habits we do now, all our bad habits, we never were born with those.

Right.

You know, we, we are not born a drinker, lazy, uh, and, and watching Netflix all the day. Uh, I don't know, whatever things we do, we were not born that way.

Right.

Somewhere in our socialization, upbringing, school, work, We learned those patterns because they were beneficial a long time ago, right? But the moment you start thinking about it, start analyzing, then you become aware actually they were learned and useful 10, 20, 30 years ago, but now not anymore, right? So you can let them go. And, and that makes it again, I would say easier. So New Year's resolutions. And for me, if you have New Year's resolutions, never choose more than 3.

Okay.

Now, some people are ambitious, say, I like to have 10. That almost never works because it's so much. It's such a revolution for yourself. It almost never works. So just take 1 or 2. And the thing is, if you take 1, 2, or 3 and you succeed in them, you feel good. If you take 10 and you succeed in 3, but say don't succeed in 7, you could still feel a failure because 7 didn't work, right? If you take 3 really good ones and you are supported by this belief supports them, then 2 out of 3, 3 out of 3 will work, right? And, and you succeed, you can feel good about yourself. Hey, I succeeded in those ones.

Is there something you should do like every day to make sure that your, your belief system stays strong and that you don't overlook The resolutions that you made.

Now we can ask the question: Do you every day say to yourself, "I'm a not drug user, so I don't use heroin"? No. If they're really installed in you and they become part of you, they are. Yes, in the first time you can just check them because your body is maybe used to the old patterns, old behaviors, muscle memory that you like to do it and like to.

Yeah. You make it part of your daily routine.

In the beginning, when I stopped eating cheese, I also opened the fridge. My partner was still eating cheese. So I thought, oh, cheese. So I had myself aware, ah, not for me. I don't like it until it's totally in the system.

Right.

But as my belief system was so strong, I looked at the cheese and didn't use it.

Yeah.

And I can tell you, I really loved, loved, loved cheese recently. Uh, we had, uh, goat cheese and goat. I also really love goat cheese. And I just took a little piece of it. I thought it's nice, but I just had the little piece and I stopped right away. In the old days I would say, oh wow, this is good. Let's take a second plate, third, fourth, fifth, sixth.

Right.

Now I just a little bite and I was satisfied and all good because the belief system is there. I don't need to eat a whole chunk of goat cheese anymore.

Right.

And even now, say we had a beautiful salad and had, say, goat cheese with honey and a little bit out of the oven and it was smelling amazingly good. I just took a little piece of it. That's okay. Really a little piece just for the taste. Yeah. Just like you do wine tasting, you taste the wine, almost spit it out. Almost that. But what I did, let's say, was the cheese. Okay. It tastes good and it's okay. I don't need it.

Right.

So you don't have to, Put a lot of affirmations in that part. Mm-hmm. Helps. But when you talk about affirmations, I'm going to talk about that. It helps if you don't know what kind of belief you like to do. Say you like to achieve something in the future, um, then we like to have 1 million listeners to our podcast, say. Right. Now that is not what we have in our own control.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, we, we can, we can put a belief in system in there. Yes, we're going to have 1 million things, but it's not in our control totally. Then affirmations help because you're going to achieve something where you have a whole path to achieve it.

Right.

It takes a longer time, a longer time. So New Year's resolutions can change, in my words, overnight. Affirmations are extremely useful when you need, say, a time period to achieve it.

Right.

I don't think tomorrow morning when we both wake up, we have 1 million listeners. Um, Maybe we're wrong. Maybe I'm totally wrong. It's like, oh wow, you call me to, you send me an email tomorrow, Chris, by the way, never say never again. Like the movie, we have them. But then affirmation is good because then you focus on the long-term goal and that is different.

Right.

Talk about that next time. Next time.

I love it.

This is more how, how it works for now, how your 3 brains work. And I said, and I said it earlier, I'm gonna just use one of, let's say, the guys I really admire, Tony Robbins.

Mm-hmm.

He said, when I was a young guy, when I was a young guy, I went to one of his shows, 6,000 people were there. And he says, um, who wins this little game gets my advanced and my master, et cetera, for free. And this sounds like $20,000. And I talk now about 25 years ago.

Yeah.

Okay. I like to be in. 6,000, you ask who likes to be in, 6,000 people like Anthony Robbins will scream out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Something like, uh, Joe does. And then you had to do, if he says Joe does, then we had to do the same as he was doing. If he said another sentence from Joe, then, or Joe likes, then we should not do it. Anyhow, after 5, uh, little of his sentences, More than half was sitting. After 7, more than 3 quarters were sitting. After 10, there are only a few people standing up. So he brought those few people on the stage and he did it. One wins, we all give applause and whatever. And then really, and it was really, really a mind shock because I was absolutely not aware of it.

Yeah.

Asking the audience, you know, his voice, all of you, Yeah. Yeah. Who really wanted in the deepest core of their cells, in their body, in their mind, in everything to win, to be on the stage and win and be number one? Who had it in all his 100 million body cells? Give me a hand. And maybe 75 people raised, rose their hand of the 6,000.

Wow.

And that was for me. a massive blow because it came away. Even if you like it, it's extremely hard to win because I didn't have the belief I want to be there. I want, I like to be there. What would be fun if I won it and whatever. So I put the effort in it and blah, blah, blah, et cetera. But that was most people, right? And that was a beautiful example. I say New Year's resolutions, if you don't have the really empowering belief behind it, will not work. Because he said the same. And from the 75, he asked 2 other questions and actually he came aware, said, so the real competition of the 6,000 was only 25 people.

Wow.

It was only 25 people from the 75, then 25 people who really wanted to be really in the core of all their cells were willing to do, uh, run, run the extra mile, flip over 10 times and all those kind of stuff. So he said, so if you ever think about achieving something, if you think about competition, if you think about what you like to do, one, there's almost no competition, right? Nobody puts much effort in it. And secondly, if you want to do it, you need really a compelling belief to do it. If you don't have really a compelling belief that pulls you to there, it will not happen. And I learned that a long time ago and it really hit me in the face because I thought, oh wow, Okay. I was one of those who wanted to do it, but really didn't have the score. And I thought I was, I had in that moment believed that I can win. I can be on that stage. I'm smart enough and all those kinds of stuff.

Yeah.

Now I failed after, I think, attempt 5 or something, but I was one of the, not the earliest, but quick enough. So it hit me really hard and it really said, when, if you like to have resolutions to change, it's more than I like, I want. I do the behavior.

Yeah.

You really have to go into your core from what makes that belief so strong enough to make that change.

Yeah.

And then every New Year's resolution is a success. And one thing more about why it's so important for New Year's resolutions. Who likes to be a loser?

Right.

Nobody. Who likes to, who likes to have a lot of failures? I don't, but I think nobody wants Right. So set yourself up for success and only really take the New Year's resolutions you really feel extremely compelled to. You get on that stage and win, as Anthony Robbins would say. If not, please don't do them because you don't do it. And after 2 weeks being in the gym, remember we started with this, then you say, ah, yeah, I know, I already thought this is nothing for me. I'm not a sporty guy. I'm not a sporty girl. And you just set yourself up to feel less, to make yourself worthless, to make yourself a failure, to make yourself not good enough, right? Yeah. And I really don't wish that for anyone on this earth to have that feeling from, okay, I'm just a failure. So set yourself up for success.

Oh, I love it. I love it. Now, if you had to take today's conversation and you wanted to emphasize on a couple important factors, what are some of the things you'd like to emphasize to the listeners?

I start laughing. One, it's extremely body normal to resist change. Your body and all your 3 minds, head, heart, and gut, don't like change because it takes a lot of energy for change. And your body doesn't like to put a lot of energy if it's not really 100% clear it needs to put that energy in there. So If you don't succeed, you're not a failure, right? Your body just said it's wiser not to change. And your body is really smart.

Right.

That's one. Secondly, if you really want to change, give it such a compelling belief system that your body believes this is what I want to do. That your 3 brains right away say, yes, yes, yes, I'm going to do this. Because in that moment you will succeed. Those are really 2 things. And the 3rd thing is, Please, unless your name is Serena Williams or Usain Bolt or, or whomever, Jan, Jos Verstappen, start to do repetition because you really set yourself up almost for failure, right? Because only 6% really succeeds to be, to do it for 6 weeks, what's actually needed, right? And to add one thing on that, I don't like smoking, so I can just tell it. You know, you have those smoking patches, those nicotine patches.

Yes. Mm-hmm.

Um, did you ever look at those, how long you have to take them?

No, I haven't actually.

Something 4 to 6 weeks, they advise. That's the time you need to change a habit. Mm-hmm. What's also an advertisement, oh, you're not a failure if you don't succeed. Most people don't succeed in the first time. Those producers of nicotine patches know exactly About what I'm just talking. So they know you will probably fail. Only 6% succeeds. So they say you're not a failure. Most people need much more times. They give you a time period and make a shitload of money for it because you think, well, I can do a patch and it stops.

Yeah.

It doesn't work that way because that's the same as a New Year's resolution. Mm-hmm. Or the chewing gums with nicotine.

Right.

They set you up again. To fail, right? Because there's no compelling belief behind it. Oh, you know, I'm going to do patches, external thing to make me stop, right? So that's just an add-on that just pops in my mind because I saw so many people then coming even with patches as a therapist in my arm.

Yeah.

I also have a nicotine patch, so I should stop smoking, but I'm already using it 7 weeks, but it doesn't work. Can you help me? Yes, of course. Get into the chair. And after 2 sessions, they don't smoke at all anymore. And they have like, how did you do that? I said, because we input a really strong belief in your system, what fits you, what fits your values, what fits your upbringing, what fits your current life. And the belief system is so strong that it overrides all the things you did in the past.

Right.

And I still remember one old guy, he was really in his 80s. And he said, Chris, why did they never say that in all those commercials? I said, because those commercials may, those products cost a shitload of money. They would not make so much amazing profit. And he said, but wow, I should, I would've loved to know you earlier. I said, yeah, when you had known me when you were 40, then I was almost not born. So it wouldn't have helped. It really hit me because he was so, say, in that part disappointed, say, about how government and everybody took care of his health. He said, so if you don't really dive in, you don't find it. Now, why do we do this podcast? Because I really love that people, millions of people listen to you, Stacy, to this podcast. So they come away, hey, I can change, I can have the life I want. the 2nd of January, I can do something amazing and it will stick, right?

100%. I love that. I love that. Now tell people some of the services that you provide.

Um, what, what do we provide? Now you said already the website then. So if people say, yeah, I'm a coach and you hear I'm also a therapist, I'm an executive coach. I help people in the business world to do great stuff in the business world so they can be better leader, better manager, better colleague and all this kind of stuff. I'm also a clinical hypnotherapist, psychotherapist. So if people come in with other kinds of topics, I help them for that. That's fun. Uh, now you cannot hire me for that, but I'm also a visiting professor at 2 universities in leadership and behavioral science. And for the rest, I train a lot of coaches and also leaders in 3 Brains Coaching. And it really is, how do you coach people? Actually, what we just discussed to get those 3 brains aligned that they make those changes. How can you help your colleagues, your clients to do that?

Right.

That's what I do. And yes, I also wrote a book because if you don't have a book, you don't count. Now, that also came from a client who was helped to stop drinking from 1.5 liters of vodka every day. And, and other kind of topics. He said, Chris, you have to write a book about this because you're amazing. I said, thank you. I'm dyslexic. He said, Chris, would you like that I hit you? I said, no, please, because I see your arms and I think that will hurt. You let me stop drinking, uh, get over my abortion I had and having those kind of stuff in a couple of sessions. And now you're going to say your peep, peep, peep, peep, peep belief is you're dyslexic, so you cannot write. Don't give me that peep, peep, peep, peep, peep. And so you start writing and if you don't finish your book, I finish you and I kick you for the ass.

Okay.

So, and in that moment I realized I had the limiting belief. I'm dyslexic, I cannot write. So I wrote the book Relationships: Which Brain Is Talking? And it's actually all about relationships in personal but also in business world. How can you make them better work based on the 3 brains? Because your head, your heart, your gut have different responsibilities.

Right.

is logic. Your heart is connection. Your gut says me, myself, and I. And if you know how that works, then life is better. So that's what I do. And why do I do it? Because we talked about beliefs and why. And it's the same actually as you, uh, Stacy. We have a deep desire to make this world a better place.

Yes.

And better means, um, no war, no fights, living together, Yes. The world is big enough for us. We can, we, there's enough food for everybody. We don't have to pollute the seas with all kinds of plastics.

Right.

And that's my deeper why. And I know I'm just one little drop in the ocean to do so, but if there are enough drops in the ocean, you can fill the ocean. So that's why I do all those kinds of things. That's why I'm passionate. And that's why I love to be on your show. Because, you know, you are a huge influencer to send out that message. You can and we can.

Yes, 100%. Where can people find your book?

Uh, they could, of course, if you click on Amazon or on Apple or Noble Barnes and you click in Christoffel Sneijders or Rich Brain Is Talking, then you find me. The easiest way is first type in my name, Christoffel Sneijders, and then you find it always because I'm not famous enough that my book hits the high ranks in Amazon. So always Amazon. finds me right away, I have to say. But maybe in one year, affirmations, it will happen.

There you go.

It will happen. Not a question mark, exclamation mark.

Yes, 100%. It will happen. Look, you're 2% top global podcast. So, and that happened in a very short period of time.

Yeah. So if you have questions or like us, Stacey is going to say it, join us, listen to it. Give this podcast to other people. Join Stacy on, on, on the podcast. Join me in the podcast because there are amazing things in there. Because I listen to Stacy's podcast and I like to be in a podcast because there's beautiful topics there all about how to make your life beautiful and the life around you beautiful. I love it.

Thank you. Thank you. And can you tell everybody your website before we go?

Okay. So that is 3 Brains Intelligence.

I love it. And that's .com, correct?

Yeah, .com. Yeah, .com. Yeah, of course. But if you type in 3 Brains Intelligence, then you can only find me on this moment because also copyrighted TM and all this kind of stuff before somebody else runs with it.

I love it. This has been great, Christophe. I'm so happy you came on the show today. You gave us such great information about how to have the best 2025 year ever. And I look forward to talking to you soon.

Thank you so much for being on the show. Thanks so much. Have a beautiful Christmas, Hanukkah, and whatever kind of festival days you have. Because the beauty is of all those days are somewhere combined together because all the religions somewhere put them all together because it's better to learn from each other than find new ones.

Yes.

Make yourself, your family, and all your loved ones happy and enjoy them.

I love it. I love it. Well, Christoffel, you have a wonderful day today. Thank you so much.

Ciao.

Ciao.