Guest Appearance on The Weekly with Charlie Pickering

My guest tonight has written three best selling books and his TED talk on inspiring leadership is one of the most watched of all time with more than 30 million views. When he talks, it is impossible not to listen.

Leadership is a choice, it is not a rank. I know many people at the senior most levels of organizations who are absolutely not leaders. They are authorities and we do what they say because they have authority over us. But. But we would not follow them.

A hero for anyone who thinks they can do a better job than their boss. Please welcome Simon Sinek.

Welcome. Thanks for having me.

Very excited to have you here. Let's start with leadership.

Okay.

I think it's safe to say that leadership in the world at the moment is in a bit of a state.

It looks that way.

Is that their fault or our fault?

I think that our politicians are a reflection of us. I think when we indict our leaders and say that they're divisive and that they don't play well with each other and they lack vision, I quite frankly think that's a reflection of us. I think our politicians are a mirror. And before we're so quick to criticize, I think we should look at ourselves and take some accountability. I think we're the ones that could be a little more open minded to the ideas of others. I think we're the ones that could communicate across party lines and listen a lot better.

Okay, so how do we do that? Because, I mean, when an election rolls around, there are professional political outfits just feeding us media all the time. I don't feel like Donald Trump ever picked up the phone and asked me to listen to any of his ideas.

Well, Donald Trump was a rejection of the incumbency. I mean, we've had a very divided Congress for more than a decade where it's become very left and very right and nothing in the middle. They've gotten nothing done. Their approval rating is something like 9%. I mean, it's really embarrassing and I think people are just fed up with anything that looks like what we're used to. And so it was a shot across the bow to everyone else. It's not necessarily a vote for Donald Trump, it's a vote against whatever we have.

What makes a leader compared to a boss?

So a boss is someone who likes to think of themselves as the boss. They like to think of themselves in charge. And a leader is someone who sees themselves in service to some higher cause and definitely to their people. Leadership is not about being in charge. It's about taking care of those in your charge. The closest Thing to leadership is being a parent. Yes, you have all the authority, yes, you have all the power. But you're responsible for bringing up others around you, helping them build their confidence and see that they can achieve more than you. So leadership is exactly the same thing.

So what leaders inspire you? Who are your favorite leaders?

So, I mean, I like all the big ones, you know, your Gandhis and Martin Luther King's. But there's a lot of the leaders that I turn to or look to for inspiration are not politics, public and not well known. Many of them wear uniforms. I've become very close with some folks in the military. I think they're misunderstood very often by the general public. And I met people who I've cried with more than I've ever cried with anybody in a suit. I've hugged more often than I've ever hugged anybody in a suit. And you know, in business we have things called colleagues and co workers, but in the military they have brothers and sisters and it's that kind of intense relationship that I love so much and learn so much about.

So you've learned a lot about leadership over your time. And you are a motivational speaker.

You speak to Inspirational speaker.

Well, inspirational speaker. Okay, so is that just because a motivational speaker sounds so 90s or is it?

Yeah, it's just like I didn't set out to be a speaker. I'm very, very lucky that I have ideas that people request me to come speak. But it's very self helpy. The whole, you know, I think of. Yeah, no, not me.

For someone watching this, what's something that they could do to be a better person, say, in their workplace or in their life?

Oh, yeah. So one of the things you can do is practice speaking last. You know, we're constantly told you have to be a good listener, but communication goes both ways. You get to speak and you get to listen.

Yeah, that would literally not work in your job.

It wouldn't work. It wouldn't work in your job. No. So Nelson Mandela is universally regarded as one of the world's, you know, different people are regarded differently depending on where you go. But Nelson Mandela is important because everyone thought he was great. And he was actually the son of a tribal chief. And he was asked by a journalist, how did you learn to be a great leader? And he said, when I was younger, I remember going to tribal meetings with my father. And I remember two things. One, they always sat in a circle, and two, my father was always the last to speak. And if you think about how we conduct meetings, so often we walk in and say, okay, guys, here's the problem. Here's what I think we should do. But I'm interested in what you have to say. Let's go around the room. It's too late. You've biased the room, or people don't feel heard. And the strength it takes to not say anything and not even give away what your ideas are and let people contribute, not only do they feel heard, but you actually get the benefit of everything they have to say. So just practicing speaking last is a big one.

Now, we've already heard in the show tonight that millennials aren't having enough sex, which is terrifying and important, but. But is the future in safe hands? Millennials a good hope?

I think every generation is a good hope. I mean, you know, we never know what's going to happen. They, like every generation prior to them, have been molded by the events of their upbringing. And there are some significant, important things that we have to remember. As great as technology is, it comes with a liability. The thing that concerns me most about the millennial generation is the addiction to technology. We're all addicted to technology, but they grew up with the addiction, and the statistics are sort of alarming, which is, if you compare it to alcohol. And dopamine is the chemical that is released when we drink, smoke, or gamble that makes us actually addicted to those things. It's the same chemical that's released when our phones go buzzer bing when somebody discovers alcohol and starts drinking. Prior to the age of 15, 40% of them will become alcoholics. If they just wait until they're, I think, 19, the number drops down to something like 8%. And so if we're giving open access to an addictive device like a cell phone or social media to kids under 15, the odds are incredibly high 40% will have an addiction later on in life. And like all addiction, it means they'll struggle with human relationships, they'll struggle dealing with stress. And this is what scares me so much. Which. We have age restrictions on tobacco. We have age restrictions on, you know, alcohol and gambling, but we have no age restrictions on social media or cell phones. And yet it's just as dangerous. So I love millennials for so many things. They're so open to others. They're much more open than older generations to the sexuality or gender identity of others. They speak out when they. When they don't. When they work for a company that doesn't offer them a sense of purpose or cause. Older generations just suffer in silence and hate their jobs.

It's called having a job.

It's called having a job.

Yeah.

That is part of it too. Yeah. But. And so I. I love them and I'm hopeful for it, but I am concerned about the addiction and their ability to deal with stress as adults. A disproportionately high number will struggle.

You broke the Internet recently when you said that millennials suffer from what you called failed parenting strategies. Have a look at this.

They were told that they were special all the time. They were told that they could have anything they want in life just cause they want it. Some of them got into honors classes not because they deserved it, but because their parents complained. And some of them got as, not because they earned them, but because the teachers didn't want to deal with the parents. Some kids got participation medals. You got a medal for coming in last.

Wow. See Some real support for that now. True or not, it's a brave man who goes around telling parents they're not doing a good job.

Especially a guy without kids.

Yeah, that's right.

So where do you get off?

So the funny thing is that most of that data comes from parents themselves. It's actually not sort of parenting experts looking back at parents and saying, you screwed up. It's actually a lot of parents now looking back at what they did and saying, ooh, maybe that. No. So if you look at the data, it's actually the parents themselves and a lot of the things they tried. Parenting experts are also weighing in. Said it didn't work.

I've got to say, I'm innately suspicious of anyone who is overwhelmingly positive all the time.

Yeah.

And I'm just curious, what are you crap at?

Yeah, I'm bad at a lot of things. I'm sort of a.

Big baby. I can't. Like, for me to get my work.

Done, like incontinent or.

No, no, no.

That's not something I would admit on national television. No, like, for me to get my work done, I actually have a. Like, it's for when I write a book. I shouldn't be saying this on television either. When I have to write a book, I actually have a babysitter. That's what her. Her title is. She's my babysitter who comes over and her entire job is to just sit in my apartment and make sure that I'm working. Because I actually. I have no discipline. Otherwise I'll just watch tv.

So you've got a nanny?

No, she's babysitter.

So not even at the level of nanny?

No.

It's like, does she Change you.

No.

That's remarkable because you say that out loud as though it should be judged. And the more you say it, it was like, yes, that is exactly what I need in my life.

I have to admit, it works brilliantly. It's just somebody who, like. Because I'll just surf the Internet otherwise all day, and when somebody goes, are you working? Yes. Yes. And having somebody there, I work better. So my most productive days are when my babysitter's over.

Now, speaking of writing books, your latest book, the release in America and Taiwan, I think, had a page that smells of optimism.

One page? Yes.

What does optimism smell like?

I can't tell. It's like, what is a. What? You know, what is a smell?

I'm familiar with fear.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know what that smells like.

Yeah, it's like bananas.

I don't know. I can't describe it. It's like, how do you describe a Beethoven symphony? It has notes, and those notes you can play Chopsticks or you can play Beethoven Symphony. And so the same thing goes in here. There are notes of smell put together in a way that is complicated and deep and wonderful and. And makes you feel optimistic. Highly recommend it. You could have a scent for the show.

Yeah, some would say it already does.

Simon has events in Melbourne and Sydney this week. Would you please thank Simon Sinek. Thank you so much.