A short YouTube monologue by Simon Sinek describing how merely holding or displaying a cell phone during interpersonal interactions sends a psychological message that others are less important. Sinek argues people should remove phones from sight (airplane mode, bags, shelves) and give full attention so others "feel heard," warning that compulsive phone-checking resembles a recreational drug problem.
I just want to show you something.
This is the psychological power of the device. What if I was sitting here talking to you, holding my phone. It's not buzzing, it's not beeping, no one's calling me. I'm just holding it. Do you feel like you are the most important thing to me right now?
No, you don't. That's the association.
So when we show up for a meeting or we sit down for dinner with our families and we put the phone on the table, it sends a psychological message to everyone sitting there that you are not the most important thing to me right now. And putting the phone upside down is not more polite. Put it in airplane mode to take away the temptation that something's coming in.
And put it in a bag or on a shelf out of sight. And this is how we should be interacting with people, giving them our full attention. Because the idea is not that we hear the words they say, but that they feel heard. And this is one of the tricks. If you wake up in the morning and you check your phone before you say good morning to the person sitting next to you, you probably have a problem. If you have to take your phone from room to room, no matter where you go, you probably have a problem. And just like any recreational drug.
The more you practice leaving it away. For example, if you go out for dinner, you don't need four telephones. Leave one at home, leave one in the car. You have one with your spouse, it's fine. If you have a client meeting, leave it in the car, leave it in the bag, never take it out. And it becomes easier and easier. And you find it easier not to be sucked in by the fear mongering as well. So like any addiction, it just takes a little work.
