Simon Sinek recalls a date who told him he was "too much" and needed to "just be yourself." The blunt feedback stung at first but forced him to moderate his energy in future dates and meetings, making him more self-aware and ultimately invaluable to his growth.
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If you want to grow, you have to learn to want feedback. And feedback doesn't mean you're doing everything great. Feedback means here's where you need improvement. And I learned this from the Air Force, you know, and I have such respect for how they do this. When, for example, when we, like, say, have a presentation to give at work, you know, the team will work for two weeks and doing the PowerPoint, they'll give the presentation. At the end of the presentation, they go, huh, yeah, pretty good, right? And that's the kind of feedback they want. And if you say anything bad, they get very upset. They spend two weeks, the Air Force, they'll spend two weeks putting together the presentation. On the day they'll turn on and go, spears, spears. At the end of the presentation, they ask you to throw spears. And so I think what makes any individual organization capable of growth is you have to ask for and want spears. So I'm pretty good at taking it, right? And I like it blunt. Just. Just tell me. But to answer your question, the most brutal feedback I got, I actually got on a date.
I thought it was an amazingly good date. I went out with this woman. She was great, she was fun. I was full of energy. You have to understand, I'm an introvert. And so for me to go on a date, I have to drink lots of coffee before I go for fear that I'm going to be boring.
And I was not boring. I was full of energy and life, and I was incredibly funny.
And she was laughing and she was having a good time. And at the end of the date, I said, I've had such a good time. I'd love to see you again. And she said, simon, I think you're great, but I absolutely do not want to go on a second date. And I was like, what? And she was like, yeah, you're great, but too much. Just too much. Like, too much. Just be yourself, she said. And I wish I had gotten that advice ten years earlier, but I. My immediate response was, ouch. And then the second response was, thank you.
And it just. That kind of feedback makes you so self aware. And so I could now hear myself when I was too much. And that modulation helped, not only on dates, but it helped in meetings, because I realized in meetings I was too much, you know, And I could see people's responses in my early days of starting my business to when I learned to just chill out and be myself. So it definitely stung, but it has been invaluable for the rest of my life.
