Simon Sinek tells a true, first-person anecdote about a former undersecretary of defense who experienced a loss of positional perks (ceramic cup, business-class travel, chauffeured transport) after leaving office. Sinek uses this story — plus a second brief anecdote about a retired CEO who expected an invitation he no longer received — to argue that perks are attached to roles, not people; leaders should be grateful, not entitled, and willing to relinquish perks when the tribe is threatened.
Chapters
It's my single favorite story that I think I've ever told. It's 100% true, too. Some of the ones not so much.
So. A former undersecretary of defense was giving a speech at a large conference much like this. And in the middle of his speech, he sort of took a sip from this cup of coffee. He was holding the Styrofoam cup, and he interrupts himself and smiles, and he says, you know, last year, I was still the undersecretary. Last year, I spoke at this exact same conference, but I was still the undersecretary. Last year, they flew me her business class. There was somebody waiting for me at the airport to take me to the hotel. When I got to the hotel, someone already checked me in. They just gave me my key. When I came down in the morning, there was a car waiting for me. And they took me to the same venue. They took me backstage. They took me through the back entrance. They took me into a green room, and they handed me a cup of coffee in a beautiful ceramic cup. He says, I'm no longer the undersecretary. I flew here coach. I took a taxi to the airport, took a taxi to the hotel, checked myself in. Took another taxi this morning to the venue. Came in the front entrance, found my way backstage. And when I asked somebody, do you have any coffee? They pointed to the coffee machine in the corner. And I poured myself a cup of coffee into this here Styrofoam cup. He says, the lesson is, the ceramic cup was never meant for me. It was meant for the position I held. I deserve a Styrofoam cup. And I think this is the lesson that every one of us has to remember. As you gain seniority in an organization, it does come with perks. You get more money, right? You get a better parking space. If you leave your jacket in another room, someone will go get your jacket for you. If you're a junior, you get your own jacket, right? Like, people will treat you differently. And it does come with perks. But we have to remember they're not giving it to us. They're giving it to the position we hold. And we have to. We can enjoy it, but we can't feel like we're entitled or do we deserve it, and we have to be grateful for it. And when danger threatens the tribe, we have to be willing to give it up. That's the rub. I'll tell you a quick, quick addition to that. I know the CEO. You know who the CEO is, and you know who this company is. Okay. We'll leave those details. Yeah, no, no, we're good. But I know the CEO of a major company who retired very recently. And every year there's a huge, big party in Hollywood, and he always gets invited, and he didn't get an invitation. And a friend of his was over his house. He's like, you. You got your invitation to the party, right? And his friend goes, yeah, of course. He goes, I didn't get mine. I mean, probably just got lost in the mail. It never occurred to him that he wasn't that. That they don't want him at the party. They want the CEO of that company at the party. The invitation went out to his successor, but it never occurred to him that he's not invited.
