Vulnerability | A Bit of Optimism #podcast

One of my colleagues was killed in the line of duty. And I remember showing up to work that day an absolute wreck. And then I thought, well, why shouldn't I be able to cry? Like, a man was killed last night on the streets protecting this community. And I was a lieutenant at the time, so I was pretty high ranking. And that was the first time I allowed myself to cry in front of my co workers. How sad is that? And what was the response? Everyone else was crying too. Everyone was a wreck. And I think it created a safe space for them to express that. That's another thing that we don't build into our culture is that it's okay to be vulnerable. People mistake it as a sign of weakness. I think it's a superpower.

What happened to the culture of that police force after everybody cried?

I think it actually humanized us amongst each other. Like, these are people that I spend 12 hours a day with. And I don't. I can't say that we all treat each other like human beings. And I think it made people pause and go, wait a minute, your life is in my hands. So why behind these four walls do we treat each other like. Like shit?

The general public is asking for the police to see us as human beings regardless of what's happening. How impossible is that if cops can't even see each other as human beings?

Yeah, it's impossible right. Now, granted, I don't want this to sound like this is a cop bashing moment, because clearly I would never do that. I know you would never do that either, but we have some work to do, right? We need to work on ourselves.