What's the Definition of a Friend?

15 May 2026 · 2 min

Watch on YouTube

1:50

In this reflective YouTube talk, the speaker interrogates the meaning of "friend" by first noting the overly broad use of the term in American culture, where it can refer to everything from a ride‑or‑die companion to a casual acquaintance. To bring clarity, the speaker categorises friendships into close friends, work friends, new friends, and acquaintances, arguing that lumping them together does a disservice to those who invest in each other. The speaker then observes a troubling trend among younger people: while they enjoy their friendships, they often lack trust in friends during times of need and are comfortable with friends canceling plans for better ones. Concluding the discussion, the speaker offers a personal definition: a friend is someone with whom you agree to grow together—a definition that mirrors the speaker’s view of a good romantic relationship and community. This growth‑oriented partnership involves mutual support, encouragement, occasional tough love, and shared development, which the speaker frames as the greatest journey two people can undertake together.

Chapters

is what is the definition of a friend? Like, how do you, how can you make something, foster something, look after something if you don't know what it is? And I think, you know, I started to use more words because especially in America, we have one word whether someone's your ride or die or someone's just a casual acquaintance, which is friend. And it's too broad. And so I actually, in my own mind, but even when I just talk to people, I say, oh, this is a close friend, this is a work friend, This is a new friend, this is an acquaintance. Because I don't think it's, like, I think it does a disservice to the friends that I, who invest in me, and who I invest in, to just lump it all together. So the question is, it goes back to what's the definition of a friend? One of the things that's sad, it's very sad, as I talk to young people, and many young people will admit to me that they like their friends, they get along with their friends, They don't necessarily trust their friends in times of want or need, like when things are bad. And they also wouldn't be surprised if their friends cancelled on them because they got better plans. I was surprised to hear how common that is when I talk to young people about friendship. But again, I know that I'm belaboring the point. What is a friend? And my definition of a friend is the same thing. That's my definition of a good romantic relationship. That's also my same definition of community. Because it's relationships, which is, which is, friends are two people who agree to grow together. And I think that that idea of taking oneself on and being supportive of someone else and their growth, sometimes cheering, sometimes giving the tough love, and to, to grow together, I think is the greatest journey two people can go on together.