A short monologue describing the “Friends” exercise: ask a close friend (not family or spouse) the question “why are we friends?” to surface emotional, hard-to-verbalize reasons for the relationship. The speaker warns that friends may struggle to put feelings into words and suggests probing beyond generic answers to reveal specific qualities that define the bond.
I can tell you a fun way, some of you may know about it. It's called the Friends exercise, which is really fun, which is go to a friend who you love and who loves you.
The kind of friend that if you called them at 3 o' clock in the morning, you know they would take your call. And if they called you, you would absolutely be there for them. Do not do this with a sibling, do not do with a parent, and do not do this with a spouse. It doesn't work.
Because they think they know you.
Go to a friend who you love and ask them this very simple question, why are we friends?
And they're going to look at you like you're crazy. Because you're asking them to put into words a feeling. And the part of the brain that controls our emotions doesn't control language. So we struggle. And ironically, you actually stop asking the question why? Because the question why elicits emotional responsibility responses. And you convert to a rational question. Come on. You'll say, what specifically is it about me that I know that you would be there for me no matter what? And they will struggle and they will hem in the ha. And they go, you are trustworthy, you're funny, you're always there for me. And you have to play devil's advocate and you go, great. That's the definition of a friend. What specifically is it about me that I.
