Ep.1 Money is Not Your Problem

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Hey, everybody, this is Madeline from Strasbourg Coaching, and you are listening to the money's not your problem podcast. I use what I love most, my LDS faith, the common sense of Dave Ramsey's baby steps, and Brooke Castillo's life coaching tools to help you identify and manage the real issues behind your financial problems. Hi, everybody. My name is Madeline, and I'm here to start a conversation about money with you, all things money. And you might be thinking, well, I don't know, what do I do about my money situation? I have all these problems and I don't know how to solve them. I'm here to tell you that money is not your problem. Right. You might think she's crazy. I have all these student loans. I have all this credit card debt, and all the money situation is affecting my marriage, how I raise my kids, how I deal with my friends and my relationship with myself, and I'm not trustworthy with money. And you might have all these things going on through your mind right now. And of course, you might tell me some of the numbers that are pretty scary. You see, right now in America, 7 out of 10 people are said to live paycheck to paycheck. And also, if you look at, for example, student loans in the United States right Now, people owe $1.75 trillion in student loans. That's a lot of money. Well, I've been part of that number before, and I've been part of many other numbers that you might be counting right now. And I'm here to help you out, to get out of this. Whatever you are, whatever the situation that you are right now, that's not working for you, here to help you move forward. So, of course, if we talk about numbers and you're saying, I don't have enough money to pay my bills, it makes mathematical sense that you want to have more money. If you would have more money, solving that part of the equation would equal being able to pay your bills or pay off your student loans. It makes mathematical sense. But when we're looking at that situation in only that one way, then you're forgetting to look at something really important. That's part of this equation, which is our mindset and our feelings as human beings. We have wants, likes, dislikes, emotions, and ideas, and that will determine how we interact with money. That's where the real problem lies. Success in our finances is determined by what we believe and how we feel about money. Until you decide that you can do something about your situation, you're not going to be able to do it because it doesn't make sense in our brain. It's called cognitive dissonance. If you believe in something, but you're doing something else, or the other way around, you want to do something, but you believe something else, you're not going to be able to move forward. You need to be intentional about how you're going to do this, whatever this is. So if you right now think that you need to make more money and you need to get a different job, it's not until you believe that you're able to get another job, that you want to get another job, that you're going to be able to do it, or if you have all this debt that you're going to have to pay, if you don't believe that you're able to do it, that it's possible for you to do it, you're not going to do it. Same thing in working with your spouse on money. Same thing. How to being able to stay committed to your plan, whatever your plan that you decide, all these things require that you believe and that you feel that you're able to do it. Otherwise you're not going to be able to do it. Unfortunately, people often try to change their financial situation without changing their beliefs about money, which only causes frustrating attempts. So beliefs are things that we've been thinking for a long time. A lot of our money beliefs were developed by the families, how we were raised, or by the communities where we lived and all the things that were exposed while we're growing up. And those beliefs, because we keep thinking the same thoughts for a long time, they are very entrenched in our minds, and so they are difficult to break through, difficult to challenge and to accept that we can think new things. And that's something really important when you're trying to change your money situation. You have to believe that you can learn new things. And you have to see if those beliefs, those things that you've been thinking for a long time, if they're serving you. Because sometimes we might be able to challenge that belief, and that's going to be key for us to learn something new, to start thinking something new on purpose and then move forward and make our changes. Money is a neutral thing. It's neither good nor bad. It's only a tool that, depending how we use it, it could do good or bad in the world, in our communities, or in our lives. Money magnifies who we are. So if you're really generous at heart, when you have more financial resources, when you have control of your money situation, you are able to bless so many others. You're able to support good causes, to be able to be generous and help others in need, and you're able to make an impact in your community. Now, a lot of people use that scripture from 1st Timothy 6:10 in the wrong way. They even quoted the wrong way. They think that money is the root of all evil. And that's not true. The scripture says, for the love of money is the root of all evil. See, it's not the money per se, but it's the emphasis you put on that. If you put that ahead of God in your life. But before we change our habits, we must dig deeper into our beliefs and become aware what we think and how we think about it. When I was in the middle of my financial troubles, I had a victim mentality. I used to think that I was never going to be able to get out of my situation, that I'll be able to make progress. I would compare myself to our friends and see, wow, we're so far behind. And that of course, did not help me to get traction with our finances. A few months back, I conducted a quick informal survey with some of my clients and I asked there for their most significant problem dealing with money. Some of the most common answers included increasing their income, keeping money in the bank, and following their budget. Notice that we're not used to seeing to identify our thoughts and beliefs as the cause of our money problems. Instead, we jump straight into the actions. What we are not doing, what are we doing that is creating the problem. And that's why I wanted to join other fellow podcasters and life coaches and helping create awareness and around the importance of our thoughts when talking about money. When we believe that we are capable of changing our situation, that we can follow our budget, that it's possible to create more money, and that we can keep our money in savings and investments, we'll act that way. I love this quote by Church Curriculum Board member Sister Mary Ellen Smoot. Renew perspective can set in motion a transformation. What does this mean? It means that as we change how we see things, we can transform our lives. We often need to access new information and develop new knowledge to develop our thinking. I have heard people say if we just have a lot of faith, everything will work out in our favor. But that's not how it works. God doesn't just make our wishes come true. He is our Father in Heaven and wants us to learn and grow. So we need to do our part when we ask God for help with our finances. This means we should work on learning new skills while Being receptive to his influence. When we're looking for new information, we gotta be careful with what type of information we're getting. When I first moved here from Brazil back in the 1900s, the first financial new piece of information I was told was to go to RC Willie and go buy anything there. Why? Because at that store they finance things for people with no credit history. Because I needed to start building my credit as a Ramsey follower. Now I know that I don't necessarily need a credit score and we can talk about that in another episode. Now, I'm not blaming the person who told me that there's always a good reason for people to do what they do or say what they say. They believed in that and that's why they chose to share that with me. They thought they were giving me important information. I chose to follow their advice. Now let's open a parenthesis over here. We choose what you think. When people say things, we can decide if we want to believe them or not. So no use blaming other people for whatever they are saying. Though the advice did not ring true to me and based on evidence of my bad financial decisions from the past, I went ahead and financed the computer. I didn't need to finance the computer. I had the money to buy it. But I believe in that information that I needed a credit history. I needed new information. Many years later, I was introduced to Dave Ramsey. His plan and money guidance made total sense to me and allowed me to think differently about money and my capability to take control of our family finances. I knew Dave Ramsey's plan was for me. When the budgeting form had tithing as the first item on the list, it gave me the information and the hope I needed to start moving forward financially. However, I still had expectations about how my husband needed to do things. And often I felt frustrated that he would not meet my expectations. I embraced Dave's plan 100% and and I felt resentful that my husband did it in his way. In the Ramsey communities, they say that I drank the Kool Aid and I did so because his commitment was not the same as mine. I felt disconnected and voiced that all the time. Expect him to fix it. The resentment I felt and the stress caused by my constant unproductive thoughts affected my physical and mental health, which reduced my strength to deal with my career issues, my relationship with my kids, especially with my teenage daughter. I didn't know that my thoughts were creating all that I needed new information and tools to be able to improve my life again. After much praying and looking for solutions I came across Jody Moore and Bruce Castillo's the Life Coach School tools. The way the model is used to organize the situations in my life made total sense and helped me to take emotional control of my life without expecting anybody or anything to change. Understanding that the thoughts create my feelings and the feelings created my actions, and the actions will lead to my result really helped me then. I remember that before I learned about the model, I was thinking, I just want to feel peace. I just want to feel peace. Once I realized that my thoughts created my feelings, then I realized that all I have to do is to think thoughts of peace. I came across two scriptures that became anchors in my life to create that feeling of peace that I was looking for, and they are still very powerful to me. One of them is the scripture in section 122 of Doctrine and Covenants when President Joseph Smith is in liberty jail and he says, Verse 7, if the heavens gather blackness and all the elements combine to hedge up the way, and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape, open the mouth wide after thee, know thou my daughter, that all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good. I know that I don't have anybody coming after me to kill me or anything like the prophet faced, but I know that the Lord is with me no matter my difficulties, and that those things, no matter how hard they are, that I'm going through, that we're going through, if we know that those things are for our experience and shall be for our good, then it gives us peace to keep moving forward without having that sense of confusion and anger why those things are happening to me. Another scripture that also gave me a lot of peace and helped me move forward was one in Joshua, Joshua 1:9, where he talks about, basically, the Lord's got your back. So knowing that in my heart and. And knowing that, it just gave me a lot of peace to keep moving forward. So the scripture says, be strong and of good courage. Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. So knowing that the Lord's got my back and my difficulties, even if I can understand why they're happening, they're going to be used for my experience, my good, that gave me a lot of peace. And those are the anchors that help me move forward with anything that I can that I have to face. Using the tools and the model, I realized that I could feel better right there and then. I didn't have to wait for something to happen or to get somewhere so I could feel better. And by feeling better right there and then, I start choosing my thoughts more carefully and intentionally. I started to act in a way that produced the results that I wanted. We became debt free, we saved money, we invested more, I improved my relationships at home, enjoy my kids more, lost 30 pounds, reduced my migraines, drastically took control of my depression, increased my spiritual strength, and start working towards a more meaningful direction in my career. Once we start working in one area of our lives, so the financial area, you're going to see a ripple effect happening in your life. Other areas of your lives are going to improve as well. And all these tools and the model, all these things you can apply in other areas of your lives as well. And they're going to help you make progress too now. But it is a process. We just don't finally arrive at a point and we're done. It is something that we need to be intentional and practice every day. It gets easier as you train your brain to think about possibilities instead of limitations, solutions instead of problems, and allowing others to be who they are. How nice of us to let other people be who they are, right? Do whatever they want to do. Once we realize that we don't control other people and let that go, it will bring so much more peace. As you process going through this process. In his new book, Baby Steps Millionaires, Dave Ramsey says that if you believe that there is no possible way you can win, you will not engage in the behaviors required to win. Instead, you are quitting before you even start. A sane person will never sacrifice to win a goal they truly believe they cannot achieve. He concludes the only important discussion then it's the finish line and whether or not you believe you can and will do what it takes to reach it. Right now you might be feeling overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, depressed and hopeless. I get it. During our weekly conversations, I'm going to help you use your faith while increasing your practical money and knowledge and discover the strengths of your mindset. As a result, you will stop struggling with money and stop fighting your relationships with your spouse, your kids, your friends, and with yourself. But I understand you don't know me. How can I possibly help you with your money? Other than my experience, I also have a background in teaching. I was a math high school teacher for over 17 years. So I can help you with the numbers. Right? I also completed the Financial Coach Master Training with the Dave Ramsey. Been doing that program for many, many years. I completed the Life Coaching certification with the Life Coach School and I'm a longtime member of the church, so I understand our culture and understand our beliefs. So I'm going to help you put this all together and create a life that you're going to be thrilled to live, and you'll be able to bless so many people around you. I can help you stop struggling with money so you can stop fighting your relationships. And who knows, you might even end up believing that money is not your problem. I hope you've enjoyed today's episode. Remember to subscribe, rate and review. And if you're ready to invest in yourself, check out my website, StrasbourgCoaching.com to schedule a consultation. Or try my membership group for free. I'll be back next week for another profitable episode of the Money Snyder Problem Podcast. Obrigada.