Ep. 15 Using Opportunities to Learn and Grow with Zil Eiler

Hey, everybody, this is Madeline from Strasbourg coaching, and you are listening to the money's not your problem podcast. I use what I love most, my LDS faith, the common sense of Dave Ramsey's baby steps. Bru steels life coaching tools to help you identify and manage the real issues behind your financial problems.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Hey there, foodie Os. We're here for another episode of the money's not your problem podcast, and I have a guest, a very special guest today, Zil Eyler. She's a life coach and she works with women. Who wants to become life coaches as well and how to build their business? Hi, Zill. How are you?

Hi. I'm doing great. Thank you so much for having me tonight.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Of course. Thank you so much for open your time to talk to us. And we're going to be talking about money. How do you feel about that?

I love money. I love talking about money. Let's go.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: All right, so that's always good and that's a change because usually people feel a little uncertain and a little uncomfortable talking about money. Why do you think that is?

Yes, I think it is the beliefs, you know, that they have around money or experiences they've had with money, the story they're telling themselves about money. So I think that's, you know, that right there shows your level of comfort talking about this subject.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: That's true. And we've been. We've been socialized that way. Right. In different cultures, but still talking about money in other cultures and those cultures, too. A little out there, right?

Yes, I believe so. Yeah.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: You guys can notice that we both have kind of the same accent because we're both from Brazil and we're doing this episode in English. How fun is that?

Yay. We love it. So when did you.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: When did you move it from Brazil here?

It's been about 20 years. Yeah, it's been here for almost two decades.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Yeah, we've. We got pretty much pretty close time here. I moved here in 99, so I have about 24.

Yes. So good.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Awesome. So tell us a little bit about you growing up in Brazil and how did you. Your money knowledge started when you're child or when you're a youth?

Yeah. So my parents were entrepreneurs in Brazil. They had both had businesses and, you know, my family, uncles and aunts and, you know, everybody had business. So I was introduced to money at a very young age because I was the employee I was working before. You know, actually, one of my early memories are of me selling shoes at my dad's shop and, you know, looking at the Money in the register. So, yes.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: You work as a cashier as well, or did you do everything or.

I did everything. I did everything. Being the cashier was kind of a prize. Right. So it depended on the day. My dad would tell me what to do, how, you know, what he wanted me to do at the store. And I did work as a cashier, but that was kind of, you know, the prize for doing really easy job. Yeah, easy job because, you know, all you do is, you know, collect money and charge people and.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Yeah, well, it was high, High confidence job too, right? High responsibility.

Oh, yes, for sure. For sure.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: You're dealing with the money.

Yeah.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Tell us, was there a time or an experience at the store that you. That you remember from your youth?

Mm, for sure. So I remember there were a lot of salespeople that worked there. And I remember people, the salespeople lined up to take whoever came into the store and that was your, you know, your turn. We are all on commission. So that was your turn to sell to that person and then, you know, make your money right there or not. And I just remember that whoever was next in line, they. They would look at whoever walked into the store and if they thought. Thought that person would buy, they would approach. And if they're like, oh, I don't think that person will buy or whatever, they would try to pretend that they didn't see that person walking in. So they were trying to be selective with, you know, who they approach so they wouldn't miss their turn. And I always thought that was hilarious that they thought they knew was going to spend money or not based on. On, you know, what they looked or how wearing or what they looked at. And many times they were so wrong. Yeah.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Maybe their judgment wasn't that great, huh? They weren't smelling the money on them.

Yeah.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: So tell a little bit about how did your parents be entrepreneurs and dealing with money and you working from a young age that influenced your life big time.

First of all, it showed me that we can create money because literally, right. You go to the wholesaler and you buy whatever, you buy purses, and then you bring. You mark it up and then you're creating money. So it showed me that money can be created. And it also helped me with my self confidence. Right. By nature, I'm a shy person. I'm not so outgoing. Even though my very nature, I'm shy. And by having those opportunities to work at the store and to approach people and to know that it's safe to talk to people, to offer your products, that helped Me, you know, grow in confidence a ton.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: That's great. And so were there one of them or another person that really had an impact on your financial journey?

Yes, my parents for sure, and especially my mother because we were close. And I was always like, feels. It feels like I was always behind her or, you know, by her. So I saw her negotiating with, you know, her vendors and then I saw her negotiating with her clients. So I saw her negotiating, negotiating a lot. I saw her selling and organizing the store and leading her employees. And that was huge for me. Right. That had a huge influence in my life. The way I see money and the way I even understand how money is managed.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: How is your mindset about money?

My mindset about money is that money can be created, that there is a lot of money in the world and you know, you can create once you think about what you want for, for you in terms of wealth that you want to build or things that you want to buy, I believe that it is possible for you to achieve those things because, you know, money is abundant in the world.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Do you, what do you think is the biggest challenge or like obstacle for people to believe that? The abundance over scarcity?

Yes, I think the biggest obstacle is that they were probably programmed to think that way. So I know that today we have way more access to goods, right. And things got more accessible because, you know, you can take credit now, right. You can finance things. And so things are more accessible today. For most people growing up, perhaps they had tough times, you know, perhaps their parents were tight and they lived and they grew up in a way where things were tight and they heard the same things over and over and over, over from parents, like, money doesn't grow on tree. We can't afford this. It's not safe to spend because, you know, you had to save, save for a rainy day. I still believe in saving and even more so into investing. But a lot of people, they have even money traumas.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Yes.

Money doesn't feel safe and they, they feel like they need to be hanging on to it. So I think it has a lot, lot to do with whatever was programmed in their minds about what money is.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Yeah, that's true. So is was there. So I guess you inherited, inherited from your mom, the abundant mindset and you've been applying that in your lives. Right. Do you think spirituality had, has any impact on, on your journey, your financial mindset?

Yes, absolutely. So at tough times, right. We pray, we pray. We believe that God will bless you through other people or somehow. You also believe that you can always Be generous. Doesn't your circumstances that you can always share, you can always give. It doesn't matter the amount you're sharing. But believing that everything that we have was given to us by God. Right. He gave us our lives. He gave us the capacity we have to work to create money to earn a living. Everything comes from God, and he truly is the creator of everything and that he's our Father. So we can always go to him and ask, and even ask him how I can earn more, how I can create more. So spirituality is definitely a huge part of my financial journey.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Yeah, I think it's interesting how everything that's created in the world is created spiritually first.

Yes.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Right. That we create inside of us and it's. It comes with our divine essence. Or we have the spirit that tells us, hey, gives us like a little nudge and the things that we want to do. And everything was created spiritually first. So we created our, our wealth, we create our businesses, we create a family, we create everything starting from the spiritually. So I think that's cool.

Yes, absolutely.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: So do you have anything from your past that you had to reconcile in terms of financial mistakes or anything from maybe a mindset or a belief that you had that wasn't right and then how did you do that?

Yes.

So in terms of finances, I, I think I had some regrets, such as not investing in real estate when, you know, I had the ability to do the possibility to even the money, but maybe a little fear of, you know, what if we lose our jobs or what if it gets to a point where we can't keep going? So, yes, I think definitely not investing more in real estate sooner, right? Yes. Sooner, huh? Absolutely. Was something that I had to deal with for a long time, but I'm way past that right now.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: And how did you reconcile?

Yes, I reconcile through mindset tools, believe it or not, was through coaching. Because, you know, through coaching, I understood that I couldn't be so past focused and I couldn't be thinking about what could have been, because what could have been just never was, never happened. And it's okay. It wasn't meant to be. I'm more focused now on what can happen, on what I can create on. On the investments, on, you know, one of what I can build in the future.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Was there an exercise that you used to or a tool that you used to. To get to that piece, that place of peace?

Absolutely. So I, Your, your listeners probably know that you're a coach and you're certified through the life coach school. Definitely the model, the CTF AR model, you can literally solve any problems, Eddie. Right. With it. And I use the model, the self coaching model, a lot to just understand that whatever I was regretting and whatever I was not at peace with was a bunch of thoughts that I had about, you know, the situation. Absolutely. So once you first off have the awareness of it, the first step, then you're like, okay, why am I thinking this way? Right. Thinking this way is not creating anything in my life right now other than remorse and regrets and negative feelings. And this does not help me progress and move forward. So once you're aware of it and you are aware of what that's creating, the feelings that's creating inside of you, then you can start shifting those thoughts into something that can help you more. Right. That can help you progress and move forward.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: That's so good because it's. We need that awareness first.

Yeah.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: That's what the model does for us. It creates that awareness before we even change. What we're going to think next is like we cannot change what we don't know. Right?

Yes.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: So now let's move to your family. So you met your husband through a friend.

Right.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: And then you end up moving over here, you guess, married. And now you have how many kids?

We have three kids. Yes. Oh, yes. 15 year old, almost to be almost 6. 16. My girl and then another girl, 14. And then my boy, 12, turned 12 last.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: All right. Congratulations. That's a full house, right?

Yes.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: So, coming. Thinking about your past, how you grew up and learn about money, how do you do that now with your kids, you and your husband do now?

With my kids now we teach them how to be, of course, responsible about money, to think about the value of what they're buying. Right. Is it worth it for them? And you know, it might be. That is a simple thing and it's. It's worth it for them. So we teach them to truly look at the value of, you know, things that they're buying and. But mostly I love to teach my kids about abundance. And I live that way. I live that way. I live showing them by the decisions I make that, you know, money is not scarce, that there is lots of money in the world. And they're all entrepreneurs as well. Right. They sell bracelets at the beach, they sell cookies, they babe sit. They're all thinking about the businesses they're going to create. Yes. Different ways to create money. So we teach them. Yeah. About the creation of money and that they can do that for themselves as well.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: That's excellent. That is like the grandma. It's coming to them too, right? The grandma and your grand, your father. Right on them as well, being entrepreneurs. And Rachel Cruz, which is Dave Ramsey's daughter, says mars thought and more is caught than thought. So, you know, they're watching you live that they're watching you think that way. They're watching your, how you behave and how they, you're modeling for them. So this is so wonderful. It's a great opportunity for them to learn.

Yes, absolutely.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: So let's say that one of your kids does not follow one of your advice of something that they're thinking about buying and they like it doesn't make sense to you. But, but it's like, so they do they go against what you would say. How do you, how, how do you handle that?

Yes, it's okay. It's totally fine. They are allowed to make their choices. I believe in free agency. That is a God given gift to each one of us. And you know, unless what they're buying, you know, puts their life in danger, it's fine. I, you know, I'm okay with them making decisions and just leaving the consequences of their decisions. I actually value that. I value that a lot.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Yeah, because then you're not the bad guy. Right. They're just learning the consequence because that's what's going to happen in the real world anyway.

Absolutely. Yes.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: And it's a good lab for them to do those things while they have your guidance there, you guys, guidance to, to discuss with them what happened and how they can learn from that.

Yes. And I think mostly they've made good decisions and they make good decisions. My son is always asking about how much does this cost? And he's always like, you know, trying to figure it out. So I see. The wheels are always turning. Right.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Critical thinking, that's a very important skill to have.

Right.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: And so nowadays, how do you continue growing your financial understanding?

Yeah, as I love to read, I actually love helping people create money. Like especially women who want to have more financial freedom and geographical freedom. So I think by helping others create money helps me understand even more and growing my knowledge because, you know, that forces me to come up with ideas on how to help them. So it's, it's like I'm creating now my own intellectual property and you know, how I can help other people generate and you know, generate money. Create money.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Oh, that's so powerful. Because usually we think I'll grow my financial understanding by consuming and you're presenting here that we can learn by creating. That's so good. So let's go back to maybe a time where you had a big difficulty, a financial difficulty in your life, a crisis or something. And maybe there's a woman right now in your situation, maybe with three kids and a difficult time or whatever, whatever was your toughest spot. What would, what would you tell her as an advice about money and life?

Yes. So when hard times come, we usually feel low. Right. Our emotions, they take over. We don't feel safe to navigate the world anymore, even though we are generally we just feel low. And the first thing that I want to tell anyone that you know, could be in a heart going through a financial hardship right now is that even though it's hard, you have to treat yourself. And this might be a little counterintuitive because you know, if you're having a hardship, why are you going to treat yourself? How you're going to do that? You're going to have to figure this out. You're going to have to figure out how to give something to yourself and get creative with it. Because self care will definitely help you access the part of your brain that can imagine, that can give you ideas on how to create more money or generate, you know, a second income or even change jobs. You have to give to yourself when those moments come when you're so low.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Yeah.

Because that exercise alone reminds you that you matter, reminds you that you are enough. Reminds you that you deserve to give yourself something, whatever that is. Right. And when you raise your self esteem and when you raise yourself and when you are valuing yourself and understanding that you, you there is a sense of safety that is restored. Like your feelings change and again you can access more the thinking part of your brain. So that's one of the things that, you know, I think so important when we're, you know, on those financial hardship times.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Yeah. And when you have that self love, then you do clear a little bit of space in your brain to, for it to start finding opportunities and finding other other things that you can do. And it brings that sense of gratitude as well. Absolute, the little things, right?

Absolutely. And that's, you know, another huge point here that you're making. Gratitude can change things drastically because when you start being grateful for what you have, you know, the brain has this part which is called ras, which is responsible for your focus. So whatever you tell your brain that is important, the brain will find more and more and more and more of it. So when you shift from being worried and stressed, when you shift that into being grateful, your brain is like, okay, this is important to her. Gratitude is important to her. Oh, she's grateful for what? For the trees or for the plants or she's grateful for the roof she has, or she's, oh, let's find more of it. Then your brain finds more and more and more and more of the same things for you to be grateful for.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: The evidence.

You start seeing all the goodness that exists in your life right now and your focus gets changed.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: And that helps you to feel a little more centered to make that difference, to start feeling clarity in your mind to be able to make those decisions that they get advantage or getting ready for another job, for getting ready for another opportunity that's coming. If you're not paying attention, you might not see it. That's really powerful. That's something really, really important that any one of us can do at any point, at any problem, not only with money, but with all sorts of other problems. So to finish our interview, Zill, are you ready for some rapid fire questions?

Sure. I don't know how rapid I'll be, but let's try whatever comes to mind.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Just tell me. Okay, so here's our first. My first question for you. What was the worst financial decision you ever made?

Okay, so what I'm thinking, what comes to mind is when we first got married, I bought a timeshare and back then was a big cash investment. And had we invested that cash into say, real estate, you have probably over a million today. But here's the other side of it. Because of that investment, we've taken so many vacations and we have, you know, created so many memories with our kids that it's, it's okay. But, you know, for a chunk of time I was like, oh, my gosh, there was a lot of cash. And yeah, that one was a tough one back then, but yeah, but you.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Were able to use. First, use the timeshare because usually that's the problem. You never can get. Get the places that you wanted to go or. And you pay that in cash, which is always helpful. And then you saw the opportunities because. So this is really. Is your brain looking for the abundance? Right?

True. Yes.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: All right, next. What was the most useless thing that you ever bought?

Oh, my goodness. That I. Okay. I buy this all the time. I think it's hair products. Okay, seriously, you know, I have this, this big afro here. I know you guys can't see my picture, but I'm always looking for something that will work for my hair, and I haven't found it yet, so it feels like I'm, you know, just pouring money into hair products over and over and over. It's like a black hole.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: All right, here's our last one. What was something that you bought that turned out to be better than you expected?

Oh, my goodness. Coaching all day long. Anytime I invest in coaching, like all of my certifications, my mentors, you know, courses that I buy. So, yes, they always give you more.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Than what you pay for, huh?

Always. Always. At least 10 times more. @.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Least. All right, so thank you so much for spending this time with us. And Zill, tell us a little bit about any projects or any programs that you have going on. How can people find.

You? Yeah, so you can find me on my Instagram. Zell Eiler coaching. So Z as in zillionaire. I L E I L E R Z wiler coaching can check me out there. That's where I hang out. And what I'm offering now in my business is one on one coaching for women who are coaches who either want to grow their program or who are starting in this, you know, in this journey. So that's, you know, one of my offers right now. And I'm also doing co working sessions where we come together and we work together. And I'm mainly helping again, coaches create their programs and co working style. I'll lead you. I'll lead those sessions and then in two hours you're gonna get out of that session with lots done. So this is what I'm doing now until I launch my group again in the fall. So I just started a group last.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Week. It sounds like a working mastermind. I love that. It's not only talking, it's getting things done.

Right? Absolutely.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Yeah. That sounds like a great deal. So I would definitely check her out if you are a coach and if you would like to learn some more. And I will put the information for Zill on the show Notes. Check it.

Out.

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Okay. All right, Zill, thank you so much for spending the time with us and thank you guys for listening to us. And I'll see you guys next week on the next episode.

Obrigada. I hope you've enjoyed today's episode. Remember to subscribe, rate and review. And if you're ready to invest in yourself, check out my website, StrasbourgCoaching.com to schedule a consultation or try my membership group for free. I'll be back next week for another profitable episode of the money's not your problem podcast.