Ep. 28 Are Your Best Moments The Key to Your Future Goals?

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Foreign. Welcome to the Money Style youe Problem podcast where every week we talk about how you can become good with money in your pocket and in your mind by using practical life coaching tools and simple and efficient ways to do money math. Are you ready to invest in yourself? Let's dive into this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Money's not yout Problem podcast. I'm your host, Madeline and well, it's been a while. I had my wisdom teeth removed. Something that here in United States, every dentist that I've met wanted to remove my wisdom teeth. Anyway, when they start giving me problems, then I decided I was do it. So I decided to take the end of the year to get that done. So on the 21st of December, I got them removed and it has been crazy to try to recover. So if I sound funnier than I usually sound, it's because I'm still recouping from that. You know how I like to start the episodes with a question. So here's the question this time. If I've been setting New Year's resolution forever for all my life and they never come through, why do I need to set them again this year? Well, I'm going to give you a different perspective and maybe with this different approach, it might be more helpful to you. Well, because of my surgery, I'm actually starting late this year. I'm actually starting almost in the second week of January. And you know what they say? They say that the second Friday of January, that's quitters day. That's when people stop following through and give up on their resolutions. As we talked about in a different episode, I don't think you have to wait for a specific day for you to set your goals. But there's something about the New year, there's something about a new start, a fresh start that always motivates us. And it doesn't matter if it's just a new week or a new year, the first day of the month, or if it's just another day. If that helps you to feel more excited and really wanted to change your life, then so be it. And it's okay. I've read this book called All It Takes is a Goal from John Acuff. I love his writing. He's pretty personable and it sometimes feels like he's sitting right next to us just having a conversation. And his books are kind of like that too. You feel like you're just having a conversation with a friend. And he approaches the New Year's resolution. He approaches this goal setting in a different Manner. And I really liked the approach that he had. I don't know necessarily that I need to follow what he was saying, but I love the type of research that he started, started his book with. And so I did that. And the end of the year, I asked a few friends and some followers to answer a survey for me. And the survey was for people to identify their best moments of 2023, the past year. So the premise of this research that John did and I did with my followers and my friends is that looking back at the best moments of your life, in this case the best moments of 2023, how do you decide which goals to pursue? I don't have a problem with that. I know exactly where I want to go. I want. I have my future in my mind, so I don't have a problem with that. But some people struggle. So what he did is looking at the best moments of your life or the best moments of 2023. The goals you would set would be based on the things that you like the most to do so you could have more of those best moments. Those best moments, they would drive what type of goals you would set. So if you like to spend a lot of time with people, then you goals to do things with other people. And if your best moments involved accomplishing a lot of things, then you would set some goals in achieving things and so forth. So he had four categories. One was experience. So doing something different or going to the movies, going to a play, doing things, accomplishment, for example, training and finishing a marathon, losing 10 pounds or getting 10 people to sign up for your program. The other category would be relationships. So doing things with other people or spending time with specific people. And then the last one would be object. So buying something, having something, material things. So before he did the survey with other people, he did his list on his own. And he said that was impossible for him to not feel at peace or happy remembering the great memories that he had, the best moments of his life. And the same thing I'm going to tell you that happened to me when I collected the results from my followers and my friends, I loved it. I was just super happy, excited to read about all those different things that people were highlighting for their year. John's approach to goals was based on looking at the past instead of just having this visual of the future. He always had a hard time with that. So when he looked back, he began by revisiting the best moments of his life. And as I told you, he had those four categories. Experience, accomplishment, relationship and object experience. For him, Those are the moments he actively took part in. Reminded him that pursuing his passions and interests was a key source of joy. Accomplishment was the moments achieved through his effort. Highlighted the importance of setting meaningful goals and working towards them. Relationships the moments made best by others to emphasize the significance of the people in our lives. In the case his life and the best relationships often lead to a sense of belonging and community. That's what he found out. And then finally object those physical items with the special story that demonstrated how sometimes the right object can hold great sentimental value. It wasn't because of the items per se, but there's always a story behind of an item when they are important to us. So then John used this list at his North Star to guide him towards creating more of these moments his life. It was a tool for setting meaningful goals and finding direction. I think the best part of the research is actually getting the results. I got 86 responses to my little poll and these are some of the answers I got from my participants. So my question was what were the three best moments of your life in 2023? I had people write Traveling to Utah to see family Traveling to Oklahoma with my cousin to take care of family business Waking up every day and appreciate what has been given to me A trip to Brazil my parents visit to the USA My two nephews wedding I hang out with my dogs I the PC celebrate my wedding anniversary in the Beatles cover concert my birthday Been asked by a girl to take a picture with her in South Beach Miami Riding BMX in San Diego Became a social worker going to Europe when my daughter came back from her mission Attending my grandkids birthday parties time with my kids Going to work meeting and working with new people Hiking in the Pacific Northwest seeing my son playing soccer being a goalie and being able to do very well despite other people's diagnosis of him with certain learning disabilities Establishing my new practice and having lots of Demand running a 5K birth of a grandchild my son's wedding Getting back from my mission meeting my fiance proposing to her Moving out of California seeing my daughter go off to college daughter's graduation A meeting with my best friend standing with my husband and looking into a volcano at Volcanoes national park in Hawaii Eating breakfast with my mom at a coffee shop job Spending a snowy night in front of the fire reading the birth of my granddaughter an amazing Mother's day trip Making good friends learning about myself taking care of my emotional needs and some traumas from childhood Having therapy seeing the evolution of my kids Spending time and vacationing with sun Hiking Zions with my family, hiking Snow Canyon, playing board games with family, Thanksgiving, getting my first paying job, meeting my partner, finishing another semester school, just being alive, being on a mission, getting a puppy, picking up my son from his mission, completing a seven month RV trip, visiting my aunt and my uncle. I don't know about you guys, but when I read these results, I was so excited. And I bet just for thinking about them, those people had a good time as well. They were able to look back at their past year and decide, huh, what was the best moment? So when I look at the four categories that John Acuff proposes, I noticed that 46 responses were related to experience, 13 were related to accomplishment, 27 related to relationships, and I got zero for objects. What do you think about these results? Are you surprised? But seeing that the majority were related to experience and relationships. Now I want you to see that there's no right or wrong answers here. It simply shows what fuels my followers, my family and friends who answered those surveys towards their goals. Your best accomplishments often have the power to impact the world positively. Your best experience come from passionately pursuing your craft. The best relationships lead to the formation of a supportive and uplifting community. And the right objects tell a story that adds depth and meaning to our lives. I have a brooch that my dad brought from Santiago de Compostela in Spain. So that piece of jewelry is not the most famous, not the most expensive, but the story behind that brooch is what makes it so special. It is something that my dad chose specifically for me. Usually, you know how it is, the mother always buys all the presents. And during Christmas or birthdays or whatever, the father gets all surprised as well as the kid is opening the present because they don't know what the mother bought. Of course they're doing that together, but it's the mother who buys it. And that's always the case with my family. But that brooch specifically my dad chose and bought it for me. So that has an extra special meaning to that brooch. Now if I would have to use it as a best moment. Absolutely. The best moment was getting that from my dad. And so you see, there's a story behind objects and usually that's what happens. And that's something that John also identified that objects usually have a story behind. Or he mentions people that they were so poor that once they made it in their business, they would buy a bag, a specific brand bag. This lady wanted to buy, I don't know, Louis Vuitton or something, and that represented the success that she got. It's not because of the bag per se, but it's because what that represented. So that's usually what happens with objects. Now John is an author that all he does is talk about goals and he is really great about it and a lot of the approaches that I took was because I learned from him. I adjusted or refined my goal setting approach with things that I read from him and his experience and research. Now if you really like this approach of looking to the past to dictate where you're going to set your goals for the future, then you can pick up his book. It's called All It Takes is a Goal and I'll put the link in the show notes if you want to look at it. He also has a podcast of the same name so it's lots of fun and he is an author and he's also comedian so it's lots of fun to hear him. So let's apply this to our financial life. Of course I'm a financial coach so I'm always going to look at things through the financial lenses for us. If you want to increase your experiences this year, consider setting a goal to enhance your skills or pursue a passion project that can potentially generate additional income. For instance, you might want to learn a new skill and start using that for your side hustle. So maybe you want to improve how to bake so you could start baking sourdough bread or you could start baking cookies and sell it on the side so you're learning something new and you're having a different experience. Or if you know how to play a musical instrument, you could give musical lessons and then piano lessons and then you could have that experience with other people as well. All right, let's talk about accomplishment so you can set a goal to create a budget and stick to it. Monitor your spending, cut unnecessary expenses and strive to save a specific amount each month. Achieving financial stability can be a significant accomplishment. So this might be the year that you really want to take on your budgeting skills to the next level and actually learn how to follow through with your plan. Very important. Especially if you want to build that generational wealth and not have to stress about money. Alright, relationships. Focus on building a supportive financial network. Join a local or online groups of like minded individuals who share your financial goals. Collaborate on budgeting strategies, investment ideas and encourage one another on your journeys to financial security. I know people don't want to talk about money, but you can always find someone who is working on the same goal as you are and move forward with them. You don't have to tell everybody about all your financial details to find people that are working towards financial freedom. Remember, if you have one more person with you, an accountability partner that already, it's going to make all the difference for you to keep moving forward. I know my husband likes to work out with a buddy. He needs that accountability to have someone that's going to be there at the same time he's going. Otherwise he doesn't feel motivated to go. So you might need to find someone who's working on budgeting and improving their finances this year and you guys can work together. And if you don't have one, you have me. You can email me or you can follow me on social media and I'll keep encouraging you and making sure that you're in the straight path of financial freedom. How about object? What can we do with that? Well, when it comes to objects, consider decluttering your home and selling items you no longer need. Use the proceeds to kickstart your emergency fund or invest in a diversified portfolio. This is not only declutters your space, but also sets you on the path to financial freedom. Why is that? Well, you start deciding what is best to bring into your life and what needs to be gone. Now it's not only that, but you also could set a goal that when you save something or a certain amount of money, then you can go buy this thing so that thing, that item becomes a reward for your hard work and saving money. Or when you finish baby step number one, which is saving a thousand dollars in your started emergency fund, then you can go and buy yourself that one item, right? So you can set those things, those objects that are representing your steps towards your goals. As you achieving your goals, you get add different things to represent that. Now that you have some ideas of different goals that you can do based on the different four categories that Jon Acuff presented, I'm going to give you three practical things that you can do after listening to this podcast. 1. Make a list of your best moments. You can do it only 20, 23 or the best moments of your life. That would be so fun. Take two or three days and as your brain starts searching for those, write them all down. Don't need to just sit and do it all at once. You can do three, four days and write everything that comes up down. You can make this list on a regular notebook or you can print out the worksheet I have for you on the show notes. Then the second part will be to classify all those moments based on the four experience, accomplishment, relationships and objects. You're gonna do that so you can determine what is the fuel that's gonna help you accomplish other goals. What are the moments are more important to you? More experience or more relationship? Whatever is the most important for you so you can plan more of those moments. Imagine a year from now, you're doing this exercise again and just looking at the year before and see how many more wonderful moments. You create it intentionally because you knew those are the ones that keep you going, those are make you happy. And then three, of course, you're gonna see the ones that are the most important to you. And you're gonna pick two or three areas of your life and you're gonna create goals that are based on those. So let's say, for example, that my number one fuel would be related to experiences. So I'm gonna pick take three areas of my life. So let's say spiritually. So I'm gonna create a goal for me to have an experience that will feed me spiritually. Let's say, for example, my goal would be to attend the BYU Women's Conference. So I need to figure out how much it cost, what do I need to do to save the money for it, and am I gonna attend the entire thing or am I gonna attend just the evening sessions? If I live outside by the state, do I need to travel? Do I know anybody who lives in Utah that I can spend the night at their house instead of having to get a hotel? So all these things so you could have that experience at attending BYU Women's Conference, and that is in the spiritual part of my life. How about our finances? What goal would motivate you to have an experience in your financial life that you want to set a goal for? Maybe you want to attend a live event about personal finance. Is either you need to find one or you already have one in mind. And then you have to do the different steps for you to be able to attend that event. And that could be a great experience for you. Something that would be one of your best moments for next year. When you're looking back at this year, that could be a fuel for you to keep moving forward towards your financial freedom. And I can guarantee, even if you just do the first step of this three practical steps I gave you, you're already going to be be feeling happy, excited. You'll be able to see all the great things that you have in your life. And that could be such a great motivator for you to embrace 2024 and have an incredible year full of best moments. Thank you for staying with me on this shorty episode. See you next time. And remember, money's not your problem. Thank you for listening to this week's episode. Remember to like, subscribe and share. And if you want to learn more about the attributes that make you good with money, go to my website right now, StrasbourgCoaching.com and sign up for the free 9 video series. I'll be back next week at the Breville Obrigado.