Ep.34 Powerful Tools for Family Finances BYU Women's Conference 2024

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Foreign. Welcome to the Money Style youe Problem podcast where every week we talk about how you can become good with money in your pocket and in your mind by using practical life coaching tools and simple and efficient ways to do money math. Are you ready to invest in yourself? Let's dive into this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Money's not your Problem podcast. This is Madeline and today I have a special episode for you. A few weeks Back in May 2014, whenever you're hearing this, I spoke at the BYU Women's Conference. Can you believe that? I was so excited. No, they didn't just out of the blue invited me. They put out people that wanted to send a proposal. I did and they picked me. Probably because I was probably one of the few that was talking about money that would be willing to talk about money. I shared the same room and topic and the time with another co presenter. She spoke about investing and she talked a little more with a lot of common sense in how to do the things based on a culture with credit cards and credit score and all that. And then I spoke after her. It was so fun because when I was getting ready, actually we were getting ready, this group of women came in and I recognized one of them. It was a friend of Mathildi's that I knew from Brazil. And then I knew it here because she was friends with my friend and I recognized her, said, oh, that's Didi. Hi. And then she got so excited. And apparently they came because they saw in a program that I was speaking and I said that was Brazilian. So they came to my session. It was super fun. And then lo and behold, the husband of my co presenter, he served the mission at their mission. So then they were talking and speaking Portuguese and those Brazilian women came in and they already set everything on fire. They were talking and they're interacting with people that were sitting down, members of the committee, the BYU Women's Conference Committee. And then they figured out, we figured out that the husband of my co presenter served his mission in Brazil and he was there. So then they talked to him and it was the same mission as they lived. And so maybe he went to a couple the wards that they knew they're part of their stay. It was lots of fun and seeing some people there that I kind of recognized, it was actually pretty comforting. I guess I wasn't very scared or afraid, but it was fun to have someone there for just because they saw it was a Brazilian sister talking. So here is my and something that was really fun. I wanted more practice with My topic. So I asked my bishop to let me speak in sacrament meeting so I could test my talk and see what was the audience response to certain things. And then they let me. And it was perfectly the Sunday before I did the presentation. It worked out very well because that week was the week before the retreat that I ran with some other Brazilian women. And so everything was about the retreat. So having that Sunday to practice my talk and be able to adjust the things that I thought that were not good when I gave the talk was priceless. It helped me feel more secure presenting there. All right, so my topic was Power Tool for Family Finances. And first of all, when you get invited to speak at BYU Women's Conference, they give you a set of guidelines that you have to follow. And it was very interesting. I had no idea. I had had some thoughts in my mind what I was going to talk about and how I was going to make my presentation. But we were invited to attend an orientation meeting. And during the orientation meeting, they explained everything that we could not do or we could not say or we could not use during our presentation, which was great, actually gave me a guideline and really brought me back to the Savior. And they gave us. They asked us to turn in an outline. And that outline had parts of how my message was connecting with the Gospel and Jesus Christ. What are some of the goals that we had for that that were related to the Scriptures and to Christ. And also what were some of the resources that we were going to be using, specifically what's the name of the prophet or who will be quoting, what are the scriptures? We'll be using everything to make sure that we stay Christ centered. I was a little upset that I couldn't take a poll or do something like that interactive with the sisters. But they know better, so it was much easier that way. I just presented and that was okay. So let's dive in into my talk. And it was actually a talk. It was a presentation with the PowerPoint, but you guys cannot see a presentation. So it's just going to sound like a talk. I will put the PowerPoint on the show notes if you guys want, or the transcript. So, Power Tool for Family Finances. Do you believe that money cannot buy happiness? Many of us may say we do, but really we don't. Behavior is a language. Some will spend a big part of their lives always pursuing more. It's like you're on a diet while constantly reaching for another slice of cake. At the conclusion of the revelation recorded in doctrine and Covenants 93, the Lord chastened each member of the First Presidency as well as Bishop Newell K. Whitney about the way that they were raising their families. In doctrine and Covenant 9343 we read set and order your own house, for there are many things that are not right in your house. The divine instructions given to these church leaders are important words of counsel for all parents who seek to raise a family in righteousness. Based on this counsel, how can we set our financial houses in order? Prophets past and present have taught money management principles, but because I wonder, they're not set in stone. Hardcore commandments many people do not follow them. Little that they know that if followed, these principles will provide financial freedom and financial peace of mind. When we are not stressed, anxious and worried, we are in a better position to receive personal revelation and be guided by the Spirit to make decisions that will bless not only our families, but our congregations and increase our impact for good in our communities and in the world. Today I would like to highlight four important principles that change the financial course of my family's life and will help us become better stewards of God's resources and blessings. 1. Understand and learn Financial Principles Some of you know that I grew up in Brazil. My parents were very wise with their money through observing how they manage and experience how they live their lives. I learned about generosity, tithing, consulting with one another involving the Lord's guidance while making decisions, the connection between work and money and the importance importance of a smart career training. However, they were not very intentional about talking about or explaining how to manage it. So I did not learn how to create a budget. I did not learn about different things about credit cards or how to stay out of debt and what are the impacts of some decisions that we don't think about it. Lo and behold, as soon as I turned 18 and had my money from the job, I was working with my dad, but he would pay me part of a salary. I started going into what in Brazil it's called Czech Special. We had a limit on that. So I just kept giving checks and the money would just go over the limit and a couple times the manager of the bank would call my dad to talk about me and it was devastating. When I would get those conversations with my dad. He was telling me how I went over with my checks and he would cover, sometimes he would cover those fees for me, but a couple times it got really hard and the problem was that okay, I would get better and I would save the money. I would put the money in, the income would come in and then within two days I Barely got over the zero start on the positive. Then there was no money for the rest of the period. So then I would use the that cheque special, the limit again and just kept doing that over and over again. It actually got to a point and I was already married at the time I was married. I had a first marriage. And the stress was so big. I ended up getting a credit card that was offered to me at school, of course. And I transfer whatever money that was that I would use over on the Czech special I would use on a credit card. And it just created another problem because now I had a bigger limit on the credit card. One time my mom actually helped me pay for that. And the debt that my then husband came in the marriage with, we had talked about not having that, but he already came and he couldn't. You know, people had different spending styles or spending understanding and behaviors once you were single. But when you're married, things need to be work together because if you maintain the same type of behavior that you had when you're single, you end up in the same situation as me or worse. Also, I didn't have any financial literacy classes at school. Understanding and learning financial principles is essential to helping people make better financial decisions. Today in America, 25 of the 50 states require students to take a personal finance course in high school before they graduate. While this is a significant improvement from the past, it does not solve the problems people have with money. And while 89% of teachers and education faculty agree that students should take a financial education course or pass a test for high school graduation, only 34% of the teachers consider themselves competent enough to provide financial education. And what happens when they're not prepared? They will rely on experience that might not benefit the class. As a matter of fact, they will only perpetuate and reinforce cultural beliefs and misinformation that they learned growing up. I can attest to that because when I started teaching personal finance classes in California, the High School of California, I was not ready to teach that class. Luckily, the textbook that we used was really math oriented. It didn't have an opinion of its own. So it wasn't pro that or against debt. It was just right in the middle, very neutral, just about the math. And at that point, we already had a lot of debt in our family. I had remarried, and we still had debt to deal with. The culture now that is so easy to borrow money here in the United States. So we had a lot of money. And so my students got to experience several types of teachers along the way. In the Beginning I was clueless. Then I started learning. I started learning more. We had $300,000 in debt. And then I became desperate and started learning faster. And then when we started our financial free journey, then I took my students along with me. And since then, since it was probably 2010 when we start really looking into improving our finances. And so at that point on, I started helping my students to learn how to stay out of debt and how to do things in a different way, in a way that's not going to bring them pain after they get out of college or after they get out of high school and will help them to be better with money. By now you might be getting upset with the school system, but who should be teaching our families about money? Well, the responsibility for teaching our families is ours. What are some of the reasons why the parents are not doing it? The three main reasons are one, the perceived lack of financial knowledge because parents did not receive a great information. Most parents did not receive the great information about dealing with their finances and managing wisely. Then they just replicate what their parents were doing. And because they made some mistakes and they're not feeling safe or they don't have emergency fund or they have a lot of debt, they don't feel qualified to teach their kids. But that's the moment to do it together, to be able to explain the kids what is happening. Of course, everything age appropriate. But let them know that you're looking for a new solution, that it's possible to learn new things and it's possible to pay off debt. And this is how I did it. I did this mistake and how you fix it. And when you go to the grocery store or whenever you have an opportunity that you deal with money, you can talk about that information with your kids. Let's say you're watching something or you're waiting for something in the doctor's office, you're waiting for your appointment and the TV is on and it talks about student loans. It would be a good time for you to talk to your teenager about student loans and how much they they're going to take from your life if you just get sucked in into taking those loans. And there's possibility to go to school for free. Two, another reason why parents don't teach their families about personal finance, they don't start. So not starting is another problem. A lot of times we have the knowledge we learned and we have an understanding what we should be teaching and then you always push it to the next day. Oh, when they can read, then we can talk about money. No, no, no, it's too early. Let's wait for them to get to middle school and then we'll start to talking about that and then we get to. No, let's wait until high school and the day never comes. By the time we get to their senior or junior and senior high school, some things are still already a little bit too late. But there's always time. So don't feel bad, just start and continue. That leads us to the third reason, lack of consistency. How many of us have we started some kind of chart or some kind of money saving tracker with our kids but then we don't continue? I know because I've done that so many times. I would learn something and I wanted to implement. Take forever to implement. And then when I would do it, then I would do consistently. In our home, we don't do allowance, we do commission. So as our girls work, they get paid for what they did. And I had to keep track of the things that they did so I could pay them every week. And yes, they should be marking their tracker, but sometimes they would just mark everything so I would be responsible anyway. They would bring their tracker to me and sometimes it wasn't done and I would have to do most of the time. And then I would just send up some money that I already calculated how much would be in average they would be getting for those chores that week and I would just pay that. And then eventually it was like, no, we're going to do this right, let's do it one more time. So consistency is very important. So you always have to do that. I remember that since the beginning when we got out of debt. Actually when we start teaching our kids about money and we were already on our way to become debt free, I always give my kids. I had three envelopes, I would pay them and I would say, what are the things that we do with money? And they would say to me, tithing, saving and spending. Well, eventually they stopped going to church, but the importance of giving was still very important to me. So we would say, hey, what are the three things that you do with your money? Okay, giving, saving and spending. And it was kind of a little brainwashing there. We always ask that every week I would ask because then they are aware that there are more than just spend money in the world they would look for. On the giving side, they could look for a charity or a community service that they would like to promote and could give their money to them. I hear a lot from my clients. They usually are working moms that men should be the one taking care of the finances or they were not allowed to take care of the finances. It's a man's job. Or they grew up in a home where the parent controlled all the money and they didn't see their moms handling the money or making decisions right. There is no possible way that you can continue with that. You have to understand all of us have to understand that it's both mothers and fathers responsibility to teach our families about money. Our role is truly important. Sisters. I have developed that belief for a while and it just serves me and serves my family and my community. I'm going to show an example of how a sister who managed her money right had such an impact in the beginning of the church. The name of this amazing sister is Caroline Tippetts. This story comes from the early women of the Restoration. It was a series in the Ensign magazine. It was written by Matthew C. Godfrey, a member of the Church History Department. Caroline Tippetts and her family worked hard, both physically and spiritually. Caroline's brothers worked in sawmills, helping shape the lumber that was abundant in the state of New York, usa, where they lived. Their family had joined the church in 1832. Now one of her brothers, Alva, led the branch of Saints in their area. In 1834, Alva had told them about a revelation the Lord had given to the prophet Joseph Smith, asking members to donate or loan money to help establish Zion. This is in doctrine and Covenants 101. 74. Knowing that the church needed to buy land where the saints could gather, Caroline, age 21, agreed to give $150 in cash and $107 in property, which was more than anyone else in the branch was donating. Just to have an idea currency converted to suggest that Caroline's total donation was equivalent to over $7,000 in today's money. Caroline, her younger brother Joseph and one of their cousins stopped in Kirtland, Ohio on their way to Missouri. They met with Joseph Smith and the Kirtland High Council. A cloud of debt hung over the church at this time and the High Council asked if Caroline would be willing to loan the church some of her money. As the meeting notes state, it was a certain by the Council that Sister Caroline Tippetts held $149.75 of the money. She was accordingly called in the council and expressed a willingness to loan the same. Caroline saw the loan agreement Joseph Smith, Oliver Cowdery and Frederick Williams. But you probably didn't see Joseph and Oliver kneeling in prayer the next day, giving thanks for the relief which the Lord had lately sent. Thanks to Caroline's willingness to share her resources, the church was able to pay off some debt and continue building the Kirtland Temple. What an incredible story. She was a wise person. She managed her money well and she was able to be a beautiful, big blessing to the church. So having knowledge of the importance and the responsibility that parents have in teaching their children about money, their families about money, here are a few suggestions for you to start today. Don't blame yourself from the past, just start from here forward. So start today, start the conversation. Take time to talk about the different things that has money related to. If you have a senior right now, you can talk about the price for prom and college costs or what is the career that they want to do. And let's take comparison between the cost of the training and how much money you're going to make in that field. I was talking to my daughter today and she was telling me how she wants to have a career doing Broadway shows. I guess since she got into dancing this past couple years, she thought that she likes it, she wants to go work in a Broadway show. I point out to her that even though she just started liking to dance, those required a lot of work. And not everybody that wants to become an actor, actress, singer are going to be that successful. They're gonna make money and be able to support themselves. We see a lot of times people that want to become singers in Nashville become new country singers. They're waiting tables at night. On the other hand, I told her about her natural talent and understanding and how to sew. She has taken a couple courses and she's already created her own dress. She made backpacks, she made all sorts of different things and she's very talented. So then we talked about the difference between one hobby that can make lots of money for her and a hobby that could be just a hobby and she could keep it, but not necessarily going to college to do dance because it might not give her the money return that she's waiting for. Alright, so remember, take the time to talk when the subject pops up. Talk number two, take the church Self Reliance course. The church programs are really great. I did the small business one and it was wonderful to meet with people that were on the same journey and be led by someone who was successful in building a business. He also had some connections and brought some intelligent business owners who could share experiences of them in the trenches, right? Daily application of the things that they learned, how they were successful, how they sold their business and so forth. Number Three, explain your money mistakes and what you have learned about it. Age appropriate. I follow a online marketer that she always says talk about the scars, not the scabs. I know it's a little gross, but I love the analogy. Talk about what you went through and what you've learned about it, not what you're going through right now. In a way that is going to make the kids get a little uneasy. If there is tough situation right now, of course you have to talk about it. But you cannot scare the kids. Remember that their brains are still developing it up until they're 20, 25. So age appropriate, explain what you did, the mistake and how, what you learned from that mistake, the money mistake. Number four, embrace learning as a family thing. Especially if money was never the strong suit of your family. You guys can start learning together. There's a great book by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruz and it's called Smart Money Smart Kids. And they both from parent perspective and daughter perspective, they talked about the different things in relation to money. How the daughter learned certain things from her dad and how her dad used his mistakes and what he had learned to teach his family. It's a great book. I recommend number five, read a personal finance book together. Again, age appropriate. You can find all sorts of different books that you can read together as a family. I had a friend that actually used the Dave Ramsey book with Rachel Cruz. Smart Money, Smart Kids. During family home evening for a season, they would do their lesson and then they would talk about money and they explain how they did things. If they agree or disagree with what the book was saying and they had the kids read and they discuss it. Really great way for everybody to learn. Number six, consider swapping allowance to commission. I did that after reading this book and up until today I still pay commission. So if my daughters work, they get money, they track their time, they let me know and then I pay them. The connection here, the important part is to connect money with work. Remember, we get paid by the value that we offer others. It's not the amount of hours, it's what they are doing, the project or something that we are making that creates a big contribution to our employers or if we own our own business to our clients, how much more value we give them, more we're gonna produce of good in the world and we're gonna get paid for that. Then number seven, teach them what to do with the money they earn. Tithing, giving, saving and spending. Of course you also have to teach that another thing you do with money is to earn. So we talked about commission over allowance, and we talked about the things that they know that they're gonna do with their money. Once they learn that when they're little or when they are in their youth, they're gonna remember that. I must say, not everything that we teach is going to be accepted. I know because I taught high school students and I would tell them what the things that would bring them more joy, more peace in staying out of debt and all that, but it didn't matter. They were gonna make their decisions no matter what. We, as parents and teachers and mentors, we try to have people avoid going through certain things, but they're gonna do it anyway. At least they've learned from where to get the help. Or they learn the principle and they can go look after that, learn some more, and then finally apply in their lives. I've seen that happen too. You might think that these suggestions are too small or too simple to make any difference. But we can read in Alma 37:6. Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me. But behold, I say unto you that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass. Embracing small and simple things is a demonstration of faith that the Lord will magnify our small but consistent efforts. An example of this principle is investing in compound interest. Investing only about $200 every month consistently for 30 years in good investments will become almost two and a half million dollars. You guys won't be able to see my chart, but I show the women the attendance of how this compounding effect happens. Basically, we had two friends and one start investing at age 19, investors for about seven years, and then he stops and leaves the money there. Then his friend, after the seven years, realized that he's wasting time. So he starts investing then. But he invests for about 23 years, both of them after 30 years. One, the one that starts first ends up with $2.2 million. And the one that starts last later, $1.5 million. That's just investing $200 a month. And the first one only invested for seven years. No wonder they call compound interest as the eighth wonder of the world. Okay, sure, some of you might think that would be wonderful if I was 23 years old or 19 years old. But small consistent efforts, even from now until. Until, I don't know, 10 years, 20 years from now until it's time for retirement. You can invest every month, just a little bit, and it's gonna grow. It's gonna be there for you. Same thing in helping your kids. Every single small effort you do, every day consistently. It's gonna help them so much more when they're ready to leave the house. And if you don't teach them, most likely they're gonna end up staying the house with you. I'm kind of laughing, but that's no laughing matter. We need to be on our own so we can continue developing. So if it's possible to make money like this, even just investing $200 a month could make this difference. Why does only 33% of Americans feel they have enough savings to retire? Because they have debt. Debt steals our choices, our freedom and our joy. So how do we keep our freedom and joy? Well, we do two things that leads us to principle number three. Pay off debt quickly and stay away from new debt. Of course we're going to say that the house is okay. A modest mortgage of about no more than 25% of your take home pay monthly to cover that payment will allow you to have money to run your life and not let the house be a burden and a huge cost out of your living expenses. President Hinckley said, quote, pay off debt as quickly as you can and free yourself from bondage. From book of Proverbs to President Nelson and every leader and apostle in between, none of them are going to encourage you to take on a lot of debt. Actually, the other way around, they are going to tell you to pay off debt as quickly as you can. Just like President Hinckley said, stay away from debt. After accumulating about $300,000 in debt, we did not want to live like that anymore. I worried about the bills, not having enough money to meet our physical needs and paying the debt off. The Lord guided us to find the resources we need. Maybe this talk might be what you need to decide to change your financial life starting today. When we decided to stop the way we were handling our finances and change, we made paying off the debt our priority. For two summers, I taught summer school to help us have more money to pay it off. We did not go visit my family in Brazil for two years and my husband worked overtime at his job at the sheriff's department so we could put that behind us. It was hard, but as we trust in Christ and His atonement, we can find strength and courage to navigate financial difficulties. Remember that scripture in Philippians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me. The Lord's atonement will allow us to feel his grace, to find strength, hope and healing. He will help us to go through. And as you lean into the atonement and do These things, you will receive the blessings promised by the scriptures and the profits. And what are some of those blessings? The blessings of financial freedom. You are better prepared when an emergency strikes, because it always does. You have reduced anxiety. You have increased receptivity to the spirit. You have the freedom to choose what to do with your money. You are prepared financially and spiritually to serve missions. A lot of our friends in Brazil, they didn't have lots of money so they could just go on missions, especially the mission presidents. But because they didn't have any debt, they were able to maybe rent their little house and go on a mission without having to worry about all the debt that was left behind or that they could not afford it. Through the Lord's mercy, members helped pay for that mission. Unexpected blessings came, and some funds were able to be put together. And many of those couples were able to serve missions without having to worry about the debt because they didn't have it. You'd be able to use the resources for the building up of the Kingdom of God, just like President Brigham Young said. A few years back, I heard about the story of how Brother Larry H. Miller was able to help with the Joseph Smith Papers project. He met with the project director, and they were not sure how or he could help. Both went home and Brother Larry H. Miller prayed and felt the impression that he should donate money to the cause. And so they got together again, and both of them had had the same impression. If you ever been to Utah, you've seen lots of car dealerships with the name Larry H. Miller everywhere, movie theaters. The Utah Jazz was theirs for a while. So, you know, he's a really good businessman. So with his business knowledge, he was able to offer a specific amount that was double than what the church was asking that the project director was asking, because he knew that to have the best historians to get the best research to find those artifacts for traveling and being able to track all the things they needed, they were gonna need some money. And what the church was proposing was not going to be enough. And he was right. So you see someone who had wealth, someone who was stable with his income and helping their families and knew how to invest, how to manage their money, was able to make such a contribution to the church. And another one last blessing is to promote the welfare of his family and his fellow men, just like Elder Franklin did. Richard's counsel. When you don't have any debt, when you have your finances, is an ordinance. You have emergency fund in place, and you have. You know how to manage your money. You're able to help causes that need your help. You need your financial help. A lot of times we say sometimes just people just need us to sit with them and listen to them. Sure. But if you know a single mother who needs a car to go from home to work and take the kids to school and she doesn't have the means to it. If you are well financially, you know how to manage your money well, you're able to buy that car, buy a car for that mother. And how fun that is to be able to bless someone's life like that. And another blessing would be to promote the welfare of the family of that person and his fellow man. Just like Elder Franklin D. Richards mentioned, these are amazing blessings that it's available to all of us. Just start working and stick setting your house in order. Follow the principles that were taught in the scriptures by Christ and by our prophets and leaders nowadays and you will get the blessings promised. Just reminded you that once you start using the principles, make sure you continue using them. Sometimes we think that we get to a point and we don't have to do anything else anymore, but that's not true. We have to endure to the end with those good principles in our lives. And that was the presentation I gave at the BYU Women's Conference 2024. I'm grateful for that opportunity and I wanted to share this with you. I'll see you guys in the next episode of the Money's not yout Problem podcast. Obrigad, thank you for listening to today's episode. I want to take a moment to extend a special invitation to all of our listeners. If you're ready to finally become good with money, money both in your pocket and in your mind, then I want to introduce you to a transformative opportunity, the Chief Financial Mom Academy. Our program is designed specifically for working moms of faith who are tired of feeling overwhelmed by their finances, constantly juggling priorities and feeling like they're always broke. You will learn how to manage your money effectively, build wealth and achieve your long term goals through practical lessons, personalized guidance and a supportive community. If you're ready to say goodbye to financial stress and hello to financial freedom, I encourage you to join us at strasbourgcoaching.com joincfm Again, it's strasbourgcoaching.com J-O I N C FM. Take the first step towards a brighter future for yourself and for your family today. Thank you again for listening and remember the future you who is good with money is in your hands. We'll see you in the Chief Financial Mom Academy ate brevi Yo, Brigada.