Ep. 8 - Seeing More of Christ in Our Lives

[CFM COACH ASSISTANT AI ]: Hey everybody, this is Madeline from Strasbourg coaching and you are listening to the Money is not your problem podcast. I use what I love most, my LDS fave, the common sense of Dave Ramsey's baby steps and and Brooke Castillo's life coaching tools to help you identify and manage the real issues behind your financial problems. Hi there everybody. Welcome to this week's episode. As we talked about before, we talk about becoming a chief financial mom and one of the attributes is that she's true to her faith. She Today we're going to be discussing a little bit about seeing more of Jesus Christ in our lives, which is something very important in developing and being true to our faith. Many people in the world struggle to see Jesus Christ in their lives. Have you ever felt you've been trying your best to do all the right things like going to church, reading the scriptures, loving and caring for your family, being kind to others, yet you can't seem to see him working in your life or cannot feel his presence? I have been contemplating this question for the past few weeks since my bishop assigned me to speak in church. And so after writing this talk, I decided to turn it into a podcast episode because there's a lot of good stuff in there, especially related to our attribute of being true to her faith. As a chief financial moment, I found some ideas in the Scriptures and our church leaders that can provide clarity and assist us in that matter in finding why sometimes we cannot see Christ in our lives. How can we increase our capacity to see Jesus Christ in our lives more fully? You might wonder why you need to. You have a pretty good life after all. My husband and I worked in California before we moved here to Utah. Our careers in California showed us what it was like not to have Christ as our guide, so especially my husband's. I work as a high school teacher in a low income area with a high crime area with lots of gang activity and even some dangerous situations. Like one of my students got shot at while at a party on a Saturday night. While things like that happen, it was not part of my daily occurrences of my job. However, for my husband that was a different story. He worked for for the Sheriff's department and he was able to witness and experience daily the devastation of families, the abuse, abandonment and maltreatment children and women suffered, the hate that fueled gang fights and murders, the destruction of other properties to feed the never ending urge caused by drug and alcohol addiction and the subsequent person's loss of agency, incarceration, Inc. And even ultimately death. Though we know God's power is Incredible. He will not force us to do anything. Satan's power is strong too, and his goal is to bring us misery. A friend sent me a talk from President Hinckley from 1986 titled the War We're Winning. In his talk, President Hinckley quoted the following from President Wilford Woodruff. There are two powers on the earth and in the midst of the inhabitants of the earth. The power of God and the power of the devil. In our history, we have had some very peculiar experiences. When God has had a people on the earth, it mattered not in what age. Lucifer, the son of the morning, and the millions of fallen spirits that were cast out of heaven have warred against God, against Christ, against the work of God, and against the people of God. And they are not backward in doing it. In our day and generation, whenever the Lord set His hand to perform any work, those powers labor to overthrow it. This can be a little scary because since they don't have bodies, they been here since the beginning of the earth. And they have accumulated all this information, all these tactics that they can use to dissuade us from the the path that will lead us back to our Heavenly Father. Ultimately, inviting Christ into our personal story is the solution to increasing our capacity to see him more fully present in our lives. Sister Browning said in this past conference, to help us remain fixed and heading in the right direction, the Savior invite us to see our lives through him, to see more of him in our lives. I'm going to offer you from three practical steps that we can take to see more of Christ in our lives. Number one is choose to believe. Two, look for it. And three, act in ways that make it easier for others to see Christ in you. So let's look at them individually. So number one, choose to believe. Everything is due is based on agency, the ability to choose for ourselves. The whole plan of salvation is based on agency. That's why sometimes we get mad. Why someone does something wrong or does hurt other people. And some people think, why would God allow something like that happen? It's because he's not going to interfere in any of his children's agency. All of us, the good and the bad, Christ modeled that for us. He chose to die for us so we could have a way to return to our Heavenly Father. It is a gift to be able to choose. And we can choose to believe in him, his goodness, his timing and his wisdom. Early this year we studied the book of Job in the Old Testament. Job was facing deep discouragement when he behold, I go forward. But he is not there and backward. But I cannot perceive him on the left hand where he doth work, but I cannot behold him. He hid himself on the right hand that I cannot see him. He just had lost all his wealth, possessions and his children. During this time of tragedy. He looked for God, but couldn't find him anywhere. He knew God's hand of blessing had been taken off his life, but he didn't know why. I think the hardest part here is to have the patience to wait for his timing, for a way for us to see his hand in our lives. Job questions God's presence during this difficult time, but he moves on rather quickly in the next. But he knoweth the weight that I take when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. This is job 2310. During the season of life, when he couldn't see God, Job chose to believe that God was still actively involved in his life. He trusted that God was watching over him and noticing what Job was doing. He chose to believe. For many people, though, or during especially difficult times of discouragement and uncertainty, it can be hard to see him. We can choose to believe that God is actively present and watching over us. What is the alternative thought? We can just think that he doesn't care about us, that he doesn't love us, that he's just abandoned us. Well, I don't know about you, but those thoughts just make me feel really bad and. And sad. So I rather have Christ in my life on difficult times because that will give me more hope. Questioning God during these times won't provide the relief we might think it will. Instead, we can trust that he sees us, even though we may not be able to see him right now. It has to be an individual choice, part of each person's faith journey. This point makes me think of brother Michael McLean. He's an artist and songwriter that did a lot of songs for the church. And he had a very difficult few years where he questioned and he kept asking for God to show himself to him, that he couldn't see his hand anywhere. And he had to trust in the timing of the Lord and he was finally able to recognize the Lord's hand and, and looking back, he was able to see where the Lord was during all those years that he had so many questions. I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. But we can do hard things, right? I experienced this at home right now with my daughters and accepting their agency and that they have their own curriculum on this earth helps me to share experiences, love and teach them through from a kind place. On the other hand, I joined many who declare themselves to have belief in blood like President Ballard says. I think I inherited and definitely learned that from my mother. I have a wonderful family and a great upbringing, though I did not recognize that much in my youth, right? My mother was a pioneer member of the church in Brazil and worked as the area Mission Presidency secretary in Sao Paulo when there was only one small branch. Her devotion to the Gospel to this day, despite the many physical challenges that come with aging and has strengthened my testimony. Irma Regina is very wise and she always showed me that we could be true to our beliefs and demonstrate devotion to Christ while respecting and honoring my dad who is not a member of the church. So once we make a conscious choice to believe, we can see Christ in our lives if we look for Him. Look for him over the past years I have been studying the effect of neuroscience as it relates to behavior change and personal growth. Our brains are designed to look for evidence of the things that we think. That is why we start noticing everywhere when we hear a new word or term or see something different. For example, a few years back I said I'd go to save money and buy a red Jeep. During that time I was saving for it, I kept seeing red Jeeps everywhere I went. That was relevant information to my brain. So we continuously scanned the environment and looked for it. Once I had the money saved, I went talked to a friend who owned a Jeep. Shirley hall told me her opinion about the pros and cons of the vehicle and after the conversation I realized that the Jeep was not the best fit for me. Once that sentence entered my a Jeep is not the best fit for me. Then I gradually stopped seeing red Jeeps and now I barely noticed them. Once you decide to believe and focus on increasing your spiritual capacity, you will then be able to recognize God's hands in your everyday life. President Henry B. Eyring in his October 2007 conference talk oh Remember, Remember mentions how he has found it helpful to write down every day how he has seen the hand of the Lord in his life. I absolutely love this talk. Highly recommend you guys can read it again and I'll link it in the show notes. So he says, I wrote down a few lines every day for years. I never missed a day. No matter how tired or early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family? Today, as I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see any evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what he had done. More than gratitude began to grow in my heart. Testimony grew. I became ever more certain that our Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. I felt more gratitude for the softening and refining that comes because of the atonement of Savior Jesus Christ. And I grew more confident that the Holy Ghost can bring all things to our remembrance, even things we did not notice or pay attention to when they happened. I love this so much. And while for a while I used to write down things I was grateful for, for many years this new approach has helped me see more of Christ in my life, increased my testimony, and now I can even often recognize it when it's happening. So so for example, if someone is being kind, doing something helpful to me or those I care about, or I have an insight that helps me with my responsibilities, or when I'm being protected, somehow I see it as God's presence in my life. When our brains look for Christ in our lives, the Spirit will confirm its presence or the veracity of what we are hearing. So think about it. When someone is learning about the Gospel or learning from the scriptures, maybe through an interaction with the missionaries or even with us, when we're having a conversation about the gospel, they can feel by the Spirit the veracity of what they are hearing. They are also going to be able to identify the opportunities that are happening around them because they've been looking for it so many times. We heard stories about investigators who were looking for a church to join looking for the Gospel and that they ran into the missionaries just by chance, or they find a pass along card or they see something on the Internet that points them out to where they're looking for. You see, those are things that are not coincidence. They are there because they've been looking for it. So this leads to the third way to see Christ in our lives. 3. Act in ways that make it easier for others to see Christ in you. In the same way we see Christ through our interactions with others. By aligning our behaviors with our beliefs, we will increase the opportunities for others to see Christ in their lives through us. Here are some practical ways to do one. Know who Jesus is and what he did. The best way to do this is by studying the scriptures. In Acts 20:32, Paul teaches that the Word of God is able to build you up in the business world. It is called best practices. We learn from others who have done what we're trying to do so we know how to implement a specific strategy or face disruptive economic times. For example, for us to be able to act like Christ, we need to know who he is and what are the things that he used to do and how he used to treat people. We need to know his attributes and that's important for us. Then to study the Scriptures. The Scriptures teach us about Christ's attributes and how he acts towards others and show examples of how the prophets and others follow his example. We'll learn how to apply them in our lives by studying and pondering them. Spending some quiet time will allow us to receive insights even in our daily practical matters. This practice has to be intentional. Otherwise we'll let many other unique, fun, amazing and pressing things to be more important in our lives and there won't be time left for the Lord. One thing that really helps me to see time management is like the Law of Tithing where we separate the time with the Lord first. Usually it's better for me do it right early in the morning to separate that time with my scriptures and my studying and pondering. Here's another practical idea to help others see Christ through you follow his example. So first we learn who he is and how he acts and then we have to go do it. Notice that it's crucial to do both. Study the Scripture so we know what to do and then do it. I will use a personal example to illustrate this point's importance. My family is not a very stereotypical Brazilian family. We don't care for soccer, we don't watch novellas or soap operas. We don't like Carnaval and we don't like samba. My brother Valmier rides BMX bikes and is good at them and and he has won many state and federal championships. Even at 49 years old, he still goes to competitions and is usually in the top three. But it has taken him 39 years of relentless practice to master different maneuvers and achieve his level competency. Now imagine if instead of practicing on the bike, he would only have kept watching videos and the VCR tapes back in the day or YouTube now, reading all about in the magazines or seeing others do it from the sidelines. Practicing what the Lord taught us is much more important because our eternal destinies depend on it. Our potential is limited. I love the scripture in Jeremiah 29:11. I like the new international version, for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. I love this. Alright, practical step number three. Love him and radiate that love with others. Have you had an experience where you just met someone and for whatever reason or no reason, you just like that person? All the great loving thoughts about that person make it easier to show that love through our actions, facial expressions and words. Interestingly, it is also valid the other way around. When or if you decide that you do not like someone. I am not proud to admit it, but a few of my amazing friendships started that way. And still as I was introduced to someone, I almost unconsciously decided I did not like them because of unrealistic preconceived thoughts or misjudgment. And then as they radiated Christ's love, my thoughts about them changed despite my craziness and I developed a deep love for them. Loving someone is a decision. It is a great feeling when you love someone for whom they are with no strings attached, no expectation, no, that's unconditional love. Things change when we start expecting others to act a certain way and they do not meet our expectations. A lot of times they do not even know we expect something from them. It's ironic even we expect them to know what we expect from them. It is okay to make requests, but we set ourselves up for failure. If we have expectations about others doing what we ask, that's when we begin to dislike them. How often have you heard someone say I love them but I don't like them? This usually happens because we think they should act a certain way and they don't. So resentment and disappointment set in. My mother in law used to say that about her other son, not my husband. My husband's wonderful. She used to say I love him but I don't like him. Basically she expected him to act in a different way, to do things differently and. And the problem with that is that we usually make things mean something about ourselves. In her case, eventually she told us that she would have liked to have a second chance with that son and raising him again, maybe influence how he did. Because probably she judged herself and thinks that her son acts that way because of her parenting, that she's a bad mom. This makes the situation even harder for anyone to handle. I noticed that when I became a new mom, while I loved Annika so much, I expected her to nap during the day like the book said babies would, or that she should sleep through the night. At six months, after 20 years I now understand that my daughter operates on a whole lot less sleep than I do. She always had. But back then, resentment and lack of sleep made me show up as a mother, that I did not want to be grumpy, less patient, feeling like a victim, and that I had been lied to. This shift from unconditional to conditional love can happen among us because we're all humans. We always make mistakes, which sometimes makes it hard to show our love for others. But if none else, we are safe with our love for Christ. He loves us perfectly. And we can trust and love him because even when we don't understand the circumstances of our lives, he is there for us and and will not forsake us. And here is the last practical way I'm going to suggest so others can see Christ through you. Number four Focusing on Our Identity Many authors and researchers have studied the efficacy of setting goals, focusing on what kind of person we want to become instead of only for practical achievement's sake. In the bestselling book Atomic Habits, James Clear described the importance of identity based habits in creating lasting changes. He to change your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself. You need to build identity based habits. He suggests the following two step process for sustained 1 Decide the type of person you want to be and 2 prove it to yourself. With small wins, the identity provides us a framework to make choices. Is this choice congruent with whom I want to become or or a person who has certain qualities or it moves me away from it. For example, if you set a goal to stop overspending, reframing into I am a person who manages my money well creates a more compelling argument. Whenever the temptation to buy something that you did not plan for or does not fit in your budget comes, we can ask ourselves, would a person who manage money well be spending money they don't have? The answer comes almost instantaneously. No. If you do not have money. A person who does not have money will not spend money buying this thing right? So it will help you keep going towards that identity of a person who knows how to manage their money well. This principle of identity based goal really resonated with me in the creation of my chief Financial Mom Academy program. It's about who this woman is and which habits she consistently practices in her life. She saves, spends and invests money well. She's responsible for her own emotions. She strains her faith. She's generous. She manages her mind well. All of this makes this person the identity of a chief financial mom. As we learn more about Christ who He was, how he treated others and his attributes. Strive to follow his example and decide to become more like Him. It makes it easier to see if we're progressing. Anytime we're kind towards someone, control our anger, let someone in front of us in a line somewhere, or refrain from lashing out towards someone who has a different opinion. We'll confirm our efforts in becoming more like the Savior. Just like the model, when we make a conscious choice to follow Christ, it will generate feelings of motivation, love and commitment. These feelings will lead us to set goals, create a plan, and develop or change habits. Consequently, these positive actions will create our results and the result is always evidence of our thoughts. So if we thought that we wanted to be like Jesus, as the primary song goes, then our result in a not so perfect way will be we are being like Jesus. So I invite you to try one of these things that we discussed today to be able to see more of Christ in our lives. 1 choose to believe, 2 look for it and 3 act in ways that make it easier for others to see Christ in you. I encourage you to do that and see if you find any difference in how you feel or act. Prayerfully. Searching the Scriptures and the teachings of our leaders can show us the way to follow our Master and guide Jesus Christ. As we increase our capacity to see Christ in our lives, we will feel his love more abundantly. And just like marriage coach Natalie Clay says, love is the best feeling of them all. Brigada.