In this informal YouTube segment, Speaker A and Speaker B discuss dating dynamics, focusing on how women often dominate conversation on early dates, inadvertently giving men a "blueprint" to manipulate them. Speaker A argues that women should speak less, ask men questions, and let men share their stories to better assess character. Speaker B adds that approaching relationships as friendships first—observing the partner in various social contexts (with friends, family, work) – provides a richer sample for evaluation. Both emphasize the importance of allowing men space to talk, asking about background, values, and goals, and avoiding over‑sharing personal expectations that could be used against the woman. The conversation culminates in practical advice: ask specific questions (family dynamics, goals, influences) and listen, rather than filling the date with one‑sided dialogue.
Chapters
It's nothing wrong with stating your intentions, but I think a lot of women give men the blueprint to finesse them.
Talk about it.
And what I mean by that is, it's like, you get to— like, women talk too much on, on dates. Like, most dates, especially first date, second date, a woman doing 90% of the talking. You telling me about your past, you telling me about what you expect from me, you telling me about all these things, but that man ain't got to talk a lot, but he learned a lot about you.
Mm-hmm.
And it's like sometimes women gotta shut up and let that man talk. Ask him some questions, let him talk, things of that nature, because you giving that man the blueprint to finesse you. So even if my intentions are not good, you telling me what it's gonna take for me to be able to stay next to you, for me to be able to still receive those texts back, still receive those calls back, still be in your ecosystem, even if my intentions is bad, in comparison to you shutting up, asking him questions, letting him talk, and letting him approach you how he want to approach you and do what he wants to do so you can see what he'd rather do.
I, I agree with that. I think it's the most beautiful thing. And I think it's— before I used to jump so quick into dating. Now I'm like, I actually just want to see how you are as a friend. Like to begin with. And I think those are the best relationships that develop when you just become friends for some time. And then, you know, I want to see how you move. I want to see you around other women. I want to see you around your homeboys. I want to see you working. I want to see you around all those things because that's how I can know that that's, that's who you are.
Yeah, because you, you, you giving yourself enough material to make a proper assessment. Yeah. Which is what it boils down to. I think a lot of women talk themselves out of Giving themselves a legitimate enough sample size to make a proper assessment from because you done guided him or you done told him what it is that he needed to do. Oh yeah, I'm like heavily in the church. So now dude going home learning scriptures so that way on the next date I can give you some scriptures because you say you like religion or you just little things like that. It's like, no, shut up. Ask him questions like, what's your background? Where you come from? How was your parents? Like, like, what was the dynamic of that relationship? Like, who do you look up to? Like, what's your goals? Like, what do you want to— like, ask him questions and shut up and let him talk. Because a lot of men don't get the chance to talk often. I, I didn't been on dates, and I had guys who done been on dates to where he say, damn, gang, I only said about 20 words. She talked the whole time. And it's like women don't understand how, how much of a disadvantage that they putting theyself at by doing that. Shut up, let him talk so you can make a proper assessment.
