5 Reasons Why You Use(d) Meth

Hey there, Dr. Dallas Bragg here, recovery coach for gay men who want to break free from addictive patterns related to crystal meth and live their best and highest life. Today we are diving into a subject you might not hear anywhere else: why you chose the crystal meth route for your life. And if you just said, I didn't choose this, then there's even more reason to stick around for the entire video. We're going to look at the top 5 reasons you chose crystal meth and real-life examples of men who had to face suffering to rise to success. On this channel, you're gonna find lots of resources to help you break free from Tina and attain your best and highest life. And also, don't forget to look for my podcast called The Aftermath here on this channel as well. New episodes are released every Thursday. I drop a long-form video just like this every Saturday, so please turn on the notification bell so you don't miss any. And by the way, if you even want more of me, you can join my mailing list. Every Monday, I release a newsletter It's a working study newsletter that you can use as a worksheet. Also, when the podcast comes out, I also release a study guide to go with that. So many free things. Also, if you go to my website, drdallasbragg.com, you can sign up for my free 30-day course called Reframing Relapse. Daily video modules, guided meditations, journal prompts, all the good stuff, 30 days worth of it. And if you're interested in my one-on-one coaching program called Recovery Alchemy, The link to apply is in the show notes. Through weekly one-on-one sessions, weekly group sessions, and daily accountability, your life could look much differently in 6 months from now. What a miserable existence to feel unhappy and consistently triggered for your entire life. That used to be my reality. I can remember feeling sad and triggered as a small, small boy. Through adolescence, through my teenage years, and into adulthood. I mean, all the pictures from my childhood proved it. You can see it on my face. I was always frowning or scowling about something. I always believed that as soon as I had that, life would feel happy. But that was never enough. It was always a moving target. Fast forward to coming out and entering in my first relationship as a gay man with another man. Finally, after decades of waiting, I can now be happy. But boy, was I poorly mistaken. Because what I— when I got what I wanted, it came with a price because I was not ready for a relationship. And after 15 months of grueling agony for both of us, it became very clear the relationship came into my life to point out the deep wounds that still needed attention inside me, those same deep wounds that drove me to unhappiness as a teenager, as a boy, as an adult, young adult, as a father, and then as an adult gay man. I realize now that getting what I want almost always comes with a price. What I always wanted was happiness. And after coming out as a gay man, the route to that state of being, in my mind, was a straight rainbow trail of hearts and glitter. But my mind is a limited human brain. The real route to that state of being was heartache, disappointment, and yes, meth addiction. Those experiences catalyzed my healing, so there was no more of that I was seeking. I attained happiness within. My smile today is brought to you by hardship, especially meth use. So I'm making this video specifically for you. Yes, you, you, you specifically. The guy who's wondering if his relationship with crystal meth is actually leading somewhere or was actually for a purpose in the past. Was it meaningful or was it just some weird cosmic joke at your expense? Or does it make you a bad person? But consider for a moment, what if this entire meth experience, even the darkest, most shame-filled moments is or was actually a divine invitation. There's this profound understanding that nothing in our lives is random. I believe it. I stand by that. Nothing is random. And those hardest parts, they're not punishment. They're preparation. So many of you are right on the cusp of leaving meth behind, but you won't Let it go. You won't let go of the shame. I'm dirty. I'm gross. I'm just a meth addict. Why did this happen to me? Why did I? What did I do to deserve this? Why can't I live an easy life like everybody else? You're keeping yourself stuck with these questions, these lamentations. You are second guessing the divine curriculum of your life. Let it. Go. Allow for the purpose of your meth use to rise. Embrace it and embody the freedom that comes from knowing and integrating the lessons. A meth experience is just a life experience. That's it. All life experiences are here for your best and your highest. They're not at random. All of them, no exceptions, are are here to push you toward your fullest potential. And you will be pushed until you let go and allow. So if this sounds crazy to you, it's time for me to convince you. Here are 5 sacred reasons your crystal meth experience may have been called forth and real-life examples of men you might know who had to face similar suffering to rise to their success. All right, number 1, the light disguised as darkness. The brightest light must be concealed in the deepest darkness. The greater your potential for transformation, the greater your challenge. I think about the nights when I picked through garbage looking for receipts to take into Walmart to get the merchandise off the shelf, hoping for a return. I had to face that rock bottom. To experience the mountaintop I'm on right now. Consider Robert Downey Jr. He was a man who spent years cycling through addiction, arrests, rock bottoms. In 1999, he was quoted saying to a judge, it's like I have a shotgun in my mouth and I've got my finger on the trigger and I like the taste of gunmetal. He was sentenced to prison and his career was considered pretty much over. Yet that darkness wasn't his ending. It was the beginning. The depth of his struggle became the foundation for one of the most remarkable comebacks, probably the most remarkable comebacks in Hollywood history. More importantly, the authenticity, the humility, and the wisdom he gained through his recovery journey has touched millions. The man we see today, centered, purposeful, profoundly grateful, would never exist without the man who once couldn't stay sober for a single day. Think about that. The universe operates on this principle of contrast. Just as we can only truly appreciate light because we know the darkness, we can only fully embody our potential because we've experienced Its absence. Your journey with Tina isn't some cruel punishment. It's the precise contrast needed for you to recognize and claim your true nature. The deeper the darkness, the most profound the awakening that follows. Let that sink in. Your relationship with Tina is not random. It's precisely calibrated to match the magnitude of light that you are capable of revealing. The depth of your struggle is proportional to the height of your potential. I've seen this play out so many times. The men who've walked the deepest into the shadows of chemsex often become the most radiant beacons of transformation afterwards. It's like the universe only gives us challenges equal to our capacity to transcend them. So what if that darkness was actually the necessary contrast for you to recognize, to see your light finally? What if meth addiction was the only thing that could have opened it up? What if the pain was the precise catalyst needed to crack open your heart to a level of compassion that you couldn't have accessed otherwise. Number 2, the vessel-breaking experience. So sometimes our old containers, our old vessels, our old identities, beliefs, our patterns must shatter completely before we can rebuild them strong enough to hold our true power, our new power. If you've followed me for any length of time, I'm sure you've heard my story of realizing that my life had to die And decompose like a tree in the woods in order to spring forth as something new. So here's an example. Look at Brandon Novak, if you've heard of him. He was a pro skateboarder who became homeless. He was injecting heroin under bridges, stealing from his mother. Does this sound familiar? He was declared legally dead 3 times from overdoses. In his own words, is, I lost everything and my life was over. Today, He's helped thousands find recovery. He's written books. He speaks internationally and operates recovery centers. But hear what he says. Listen to this quote of his darkest moments. I needed to lose it all. I needed to have nothing left to hold on to except the possibility of change. Think about the vessels that have broken in your life because of crystal meth. Maybe it was your relationships. Maybe it was your career. Maybe it was your physical health, your financial stability. These vessels weren't broken randomly. They broke precisely because they couldn't contain your expansion, your authentic expansion, what's due for you. They were too small, too rigid, and built on outdated beliefs about who you are and what you're capable of being. The universe wasn't punishing you. It was freeing you from containers that were limiting your soul's expression. Think about this. When you hit those moments where absolutely everything fell apart because of crystal meth, that wasn't failure. That was a necessary disillusion. You cannot pour new wine Into old wineskins. The breaking isn't the tragedy. It's the prerequisite for your rebirth. Your addiction experience is breaking down structures that were never meant to contain the expanded version of you that's emerging from the experience. If you'll let it. The relationships that couldn't withstand your truth, the job that didn't align with your soul's purpose, The coping mechanisms that kept you small. All of these needed to fall away. You have to let them fall. Number 3, the soul correction journey. So each soul comes to this world with precise areas that need refinement. Now, this may trigger some of you. You may not like it. Talking about souls and predestination and those kind of things. Just roll with it for a minute. Your specific pattern with myth is revealing exactly what your soul came here to master. My personal learning and life purpose is to find self-acceptance. I have felt left out my entire life, and I'm happy to explain more about that in my journey, but this video is getting too long as it is. But for this example, let's consider Dax Shepard. When I was watching TV called Parenthood, who struggled with addiction for years before finding recovery. So on his own podcast now, I think it's Armchair something, he's remarkably honest on this podcast about what substances gave him. They gave him confidence, escape from anxiety, relief from feeling not enough. His recovery journey wasn't just about stopping the substances. It was about learning to provide himself with exactly what the drugs once gave him. Listen to that. Today, his vulnerability and his emotional intelligence have made his podcast the place where millions find healing. They feel comfortable. They're in a nonjudgmental space. His addiction wasn't a detour from his purpose. It was the exact training ground for it. His recent relapse projected him to a new level because he leveraged it. This soul correction journey is not abstract. It's intensely practical. What's fascinating is how precisely our addiction patterns reveal our soul's curriculum. It's almost eerily specific to you. What is coming up As you try to quit crystal meth is exactly what your soul needs to correct, exactly what you need to heal from. I've never once worked with a man whose crystal meth use was random or generalized. It always follows a pattern. And when we decode that pattern, it reveals exactly what the soul is here to learn. One man uses only when feeling rejected romantically. Another man uses to access his creativity. Another uses to feel sexually confident. Another uses to numb his grief. These aren't random. They're roadmaps to your soul's specific healing journey. When I work with men in recovery, I always ask, what does Tina, crystal meth, give you that you believe you can't give yourself? The answers reveal everything. I can only feel sexually free and uninhibited when I'm high. It's the only time I don't hate my body. It makes me feel like I belong somewhere. I can finally shut off the voice in my head that says, I'm not enough. You're not enough. These aren't just reasons for using. They're revelations about your soul's curriculum and the healing that's waiting for you. The very thing that drives you to use is is illuminating the exact soul correction you're here to make. It's all on purpose. The addiction isn't hiding your path. It's literally pointing directly at it with a neon sign saying, heal this, be happy, be— Number 4, the resistance revealing the desire. So I want you to listen to this. What we resist most violently is often what our souls desire most deeply. What we resist most violently is often what our souls desire most deeply. The shame, secrecy, the double life of chemsex are actually revealing by the opposition what your heart truly longs for. While using meth, I got off on the secret life, the secret life of it. I got off on that more than any other part, to be honest. Sneaking around the middle of the night, drug deals and shady hotel rooms. smoking my pipe in the bathroom at work. I resisted a boring, normal life because I associated it with unhappiness and disappointment that I had grew up with. My soul was crying out for peace. So with this example, consider Russell Brand. He's a man who once embodied chaos and addiction, self-destruction. Yet beneath all that, resistance to stability and the connection, there was a soul deep in there craving spiritual meaning and real authentic impact. And today he's one of the most articulate voices on spiritual awakening and authentic living out there. The very intensity that once fueled his addiction now powers his mission. This principle applies universally. But manifests uniquely for each person because not everybody allows it. The specific nature of your resistance, the exact way you use crystal meth, the circumstances, the thoughts, and the feelings before your use, during, and after all contain encoded information about what your soul is longing to experience. This is my plug for journaling. Write down as much of that shit as possible. That's rich, rich data. It's like a photographic negative that when you develop it properly, it reveals the exact image of what your authentic self is reaching for. Get it? Look at your pattern with crystal meth. If you're craving escape, your soul is seeking freedom from self-imposed constraints. If you're seeking validation from strangers, your soul is hungering for authentic recognition of your worth. If you're chasing intensity and peak experiences, your soul is desperate for meaning and purpose that makes everyday life feel vibrant. If you used to feel powerful and confident, your soul is yearning to embody your authenticity, your authentic strength, who you are, If you use to feel connection, your soul is signaling its need for genuine intimacy. The addiction hasn't taken you off course. The addiction hasn't taken you off course. It's showing you exactly what your course needs to be. You are being shown a mirror revealing the exact shape of what your soul seeks by showing you its opposite. Number 5, the divine detour. It's actually the path. So you've seen my descent. Now watch my rising. It was a quote from Rumi that got me through a lot of hard nights in the beginning of my recovery. Your descent is for the sake of your ascent. What feels like a detour Is actually the most direct route to your transformation, but you get in the way. Think about David Goggins. He was once overweight, depressed, stuck in a loop of self-hatred. He transformed through extreme physical challenge challenges to become an ultra marathoner, a Navy SEAL or something like that—an inspiration really to millions—and he wrote, "I needed every second of that suffering." It wasn't a detour from my path. It was the path. Because he understands that, he is now project— on this trajectory forward. This principle transformed my understanding of my own journey. For years, I saw my struggle with substances as this embarrassing detour from my real life, my true life. This thing I needed to get past so I could finally get on with my actual purpose, right? I think if only I hadn't wasted those years. Then one day it hit me. I wasn't equipped to fulfill my purpose before the meth journey. The perspective, the humility, the compassion, the resilience. Those are things I didn't have. I developed through that quote unquote detour of meth addiction. They weren't optional accessories. They were the essential foundations for the work I was meant to do next. I had to develop them through my meth experience. Without them, I'd be building a house on sand if I tried to do the things I'm doing now. Your crystal experience isn't a deviation from your path. It is your path. Purposefully designed to deepen your compassion through your suffering, enabling you to connect with others in ways that superficial happiness could never do. You're going to see life through a new lens on the other side of this. You're going to expand your consciousness beyond the limitations of conventional thinking. You're going to break your identification with limiting beliefs about who you thought you were and who they told you you were. You're going to connect with divine humility and surrender that comes only through realizing you cannot control everything and everything's on purpose. And it's going to place you in a position to help others in ways nobody else can. I've watched men who swore Their lives were ruined by crystal meth. They went on to create recovery communities, launch healing businesses, rebuild their families with new authenticity, and live with a depth of purpose they never imagined possible. And I'm one of them. The detour was the path all along. This isn't spiritual bypassing. It isn't saying the pain doesn't matter. It matters deeply, but it's on purpose. It matters because it's purposeful, not because it's punishment. When you start seeing your rock bottoms as the solid foundation upon which you're building your authentic life, rather than the evidence of your failure, everything shifts. When you start viewing your addiction experience through this lens, I promise you, it all shifts. The shame dissolves. Self-hatred has no place to land. The idea that you've wasted time evaporates. This perspective doesn't absolve you from doing the work, but it transmutes the energy behind the work from desperate escaping to I am sacredly becoming. You're not escaping, you're becoming. Here's what I want you to consider. What if the exact parts of yourself you've been running from are actually the keys to your liberation? What if the intensity of your struggle is precisely matched to the intensity of light you're here to bring? What if nothing, absolutely nothing about your journey has been a mistake? I see men every day who are transforming their relationship with crystal meth From their greatest shame to their greatest teacher, that same sensitivity that made you vulnerable to addiction is your greatest gift. The same intensity that drove your using will fuel your new purpose. The same courage it takes to face another fucking day in recovery will inspire countless others walking behind you. Looking at your example, your relationship with crystal meth has been preparing you for something far greater than you can currently imagine. The universe doesn't make mistakes, and neither does your soul. You're not broken. You're breaking open. You're not lost. You're being led. The path forward isn't about becoming someone new. It's about allowing everything you've experienced To reveal who you've always been beneath the noise. This is your divine invitation. Your soul has been preparing for this moment of recognition for lifetimes. I love you so much. I would love to hear from you too. If you have any comments, what did I miss? What triggered you? Tell me, tell me, tell me in the comments of the video. And if you have any ideas for other topics, I'd like to hear from you as well. All right. With that, have a great day. Bye.