5 Truths For Overcoming Chemsex (Immediately Implement)

Hey y'all, Dallas Bragg here, recovery coach for men who have sex with men and want to break free from crystal meth, or known as Tina. I work one-on-one with you over 6 months to help you stop using and set you up to reach your fullest potential post-meth use. If you're interested in working with me, I accept 2 new clients per month. Simply apply by clicking the link in the video notes. On this channel, you're going to find short and long-form videos, Chock-full of free advice for breaking free from Tina that you most likely won't hear anywhere else. I also have a podcast. It's called The Aftermath. You will find it on this channel as well. I'm sharing from my personal experience because I have been without Tina in my life now for almost 7 years, and I combine that with what I'm seeing as I work with men worldwide. Subscribe and press the bell icon so you do not miss Okay, today we're talking about how to transform pain into your recovery superpower. So you know, all of our lives, our subconscious, or what's known as the ego mind, tries to protect us from pain. I've talked a lot about the ego, often in my videos and my newsletters, which by the way, if you're interested in being in my mailing list, just comment below as well. For more on the ego mind, click the link above to look at a video that I've done before. You know, but whether it's as simple as avoiding a hot eye on the stove or as complicated as trauma wounding, we are programmed to avoid pain and seek pleasure. And if you've turned to crystal meth as a coping mechanism, chances are you are trying to avoid pain. Pain that awaits in your shadow aspects. The irony is that in order to shine a light on that pain and properly process it, we have to re-experience that pain. Recovery is facing the parts of us that have been fragmented by the pain and leaning head-on into it without the anesthesia of meth. Listen, it ain't easy, but it's totally worth it. During my recovery journey, I discovered a shadow aspect of myself that was painful for me to admit. I had chosen the easy way out all of my life. Throughout high school and college, I typically did the bare minimum, to be quite honest. I would look for any loophole I could at work to simplify my role. After coming out to my wife, I left her within 2 weeks, bypassing any work that had to be done to repair the relationship. When I broke up with anyone after that, I simply said, I'm done, and walked away. To me, it felt like I was doing the right thing, but honestly, I left this person brutalized. You know, honesty without sympathy is brutality. It's Marianne Williamson. And of course, meth is the queen of shortcuts, right? Shortcut to connection, shortcut to belonging, a shortcut to dissolving shame, a shortcut to good sex, etc., etc. I called my behavior, and I called myself resilient because I seemed to face challenging life events with ease. But in reality, I was bypassing, avoiding the hard work, compartmentalizing the pain, taking the easy way out. So can you guess what happens when you don't feel the pain of your life? The pressure builds until it finally explodes, or we find ways like meth to relieve the pressure, even if it is just temporarily. And I'm sure you can relate to that moment when shame hits. Maybe it's the morning after a relapse, or when a random memory from an active addiction floods your consciousness. Your chest tightens, your stomach drops, and for a split second you're caught between running from the pain like I did, Or letting it consume you entirely like most of you do. Here's the truth I've learned on my own journey. There is a third option. We can choose to feel our pain instead of letting it feel us. We can choose to feel our pain instead of letting it feel us, or choose us. This isn't Another spiritual bypass, right? It's about reclaiming your power in recovery. So let me share with you 5 truths that will explain what I mean, that have changed not just my relationship with pain and shame, but my entire recovery journey. But before I do, just want to remind you that I only have 2 slots open per month for new one-on-one clients in my coaching program for gay men who want to break free from crystal meth. In only 180 days, your life could look very different. If you're interested, click the link below and apply. All right, so number one: pain has an intelligence. Everything is energy, and that energy has a frequency, a vibration. I'm sure you've heard this. Pain is no different. It is energy. Pain is an energetic messenger. A teacher, and sometimes even a gift. Actually, I would argue every time a gift. It is working for your good. It is pushing you toward a higher healing. You can tap into the intelligence of this energy, or you can remain ignorant and, and ignore it. When pain enters our lives, it's actually working to cleanse us Of some type of negative energy, some type of limiting belief, some type of pattern that no longer serves us, some type of wounding. It is like a spiritual immune system. It's identifying what needs to be released for our highest good, and then how we respond to that pain dictates whether or not we move forward to heal it and process it, or we remain looping, right? When we choose to communicate and manipulate The energy of pain— manipulate in a good way. We take control of the pain, effectively taking control of our lives and our reality. We move from victim to victor. So it is time you become an active participant in your healing instead of allowing life to control you, instead of being a bystander to what's happening with you. Just like a fever burns through infection, emotional pain burns through our limiting beliefs and old trauma and old programming. Yes, it's uncomfortable. Yes, it, it can feel overwhelming. But on the other side of that conscious feeling is a level of clarity and peace that no substance could ever provide. And that, my friends, is the true work that The hard work of recovery. All right, so number 2, you are not your voices. Oh, the narrative that plays in the background, right? I'm sure you're familiar with this. What does it sound like in your head? That constant internal dialogue between the part that wants to use and the part that doesn't want to use. One voice might list all the reasons why just this once would be okay, while the other reminds you of the consequences. Right? It can feel like you're trapped in an endless debate in your head. It can feel like you're going crazy. But listen, in that situation, in that phenomenon, that proves that you have a soul, a consciousness that's a— that is there, who can observe the voices. Who is it that's observing the 2 voices if you're not either voice? Right? You must be something. separate from them. You are the awareness behind the dialogue. You're the soul watching the human experience unfold. Think of it like watching a movie. You can completely be absorbed in the story, feeling every emotion, or you can remember that you're sitting in the theater choosing to engage with the experience. Both voices in your head are like characters in your movie. They have important roles to play, but they're not the whole story, and they're certainly not you. You have the power to write your story. You have the power to write your narrative. So I want you to stop being upset that there are voices competing in your mind, dwelling on that and calling yourself crazy, and turn that into gratitude. Be grateful that you can discern them. You have the awareness to discern that there are voices. Think about that. All right, number three: relapse is an experience, not an identity. We've got to stop turning experiences into our identity. When you relapse, you haven't become a failure or weak or bad. You've simply had an experience. It's a neutral experience that you. Get to label. You get to add the meaning to. The meaning of that experience is not fixed. It's whatever the fuck you choose it to be. So think about it this way. If you're learning to play the piano and you hit a wrong note, you don't become a failed musician. It's feedback. If you're running a marathon and you trip, you don't have to go and start at the beginning and start the race over. You Get up and you pick up where you left off. Relapse can be the same way if you want it to be. Instead of drowning in shame, ask yourself, what is this experience trying to teach me? What triggered this? And what do I know now that I didn't know before? That's called curiosity. It's compassionate curiosity. It allows you to choose how to feel The pain. Condemnation allows pain to choose how it feels you. So think about this next time. Am I being curious or am I condemning myself? When we remove the heavy weight of moral judgment from our experiences, we create space for actual learning and actual growth. So I want to invite you to stop saying, I'm an addict. Or I am a chronic relapser. You are a perfect light. You are that third person, that consciousness, that soul having experiences. And the more you identify with those experiences, the deeper they're going to imprint. Number 4, your energy cannot be destroyed. Energy cannot be created and it cannot be destroyed. It can only be transformed. That's physics. Go look it up if you don't believe me. Go do your own search. The same principle applies to your recovery journey. The strength you've built, the energy that you've created, the insight you've gained, the healing you've done, none of that disappears because of a slip or a rough patch. I don't want to hear anyone else say, I had 3 months. I had 3 years. I had 4 days. You still have them. They didn't disappear anywhere. You're transforming them into more time. But you don't have to say— have to get into this mindset of, I had that. You worked hard for that, Tom. It doesn't discredit it because of a slip or a rough patch. Think of it this way. Like, here's another analogy. Savings account. If someone steals your wallet, they might get the cash you're carrying, but they can't take away your ability to earn money or your knowledge of how to save. So similarly, a relapse might be temporarily disconnection. You know, it disconnects you from your recovery energy, sure, for a little bit, but it cannot destroy it. Your only job is to maintain certainty in this truth, certainty beyond logic, even when the physical reality seems to suggest otherwise. Certainty beyond logic is the ultimate This is the cheat code for shifting your reality from despair to peace. Accept that no matter what occurs, no exceptions, it is for your highest good. And if you label it that way, and if you believe that way, and you respond to it that way, then that's what it becomes. This is not denial. It's actually spiritual physics. When you hold onto the certainty that nothing is truly lost, you create the space for that energy to manifest again in physical form. Meaning when you respond to life that way, that's the cause. The effect is going to be how your reality begins to shape. It is going to be more and more for your highest good. You're going to see the desires of your heart transform. Everything on the outside changes once the internal shifts. Number 5, pain is a portal to power. When you choose to feel your pain consciously, deliberately, you're in charge of how to feel it, something profound happens. You actually begin to embody divine quality. So instead of being swept away and swept along by your circumstances and carried on by the story, you become an active creator in the story. You're the writer, the producer, the director. I call painful experiences slingshots. Another analogy: when you are pulled back by the pain, it builds so much tension that once released, you are slingshotted forward into a new level of growth. While you're back there, you're picking up learning, you're picking up tips and resources and realizations and and and something to compare the good times to. You're picking all that up, and when you release that pain, when you feel that pain, it slingshots you. Higher and higher and higher into a new existence. You might be pulled back again, but you go forward again. If you avoid the pain or you wallow in despair while you get there— while you're back there, you get, you get to hang back inside that tension for as long as it takes, as it grows and builds and festers. It's not a fun place to be. So are you ready for one more analogy? Think about the difference between being caught in a storm Versus choosing to walk in the rain. It's the same water. It's the same conditions. Nothing's changed the experience. But what does change the experience is how you decide the narrative is. When you choose to feel your pain, you're saying, "I trust the process. I trust myself. I trust that this experience is serving my highest good." This choice, this conscious engagement. With pain actually creates new neural pathways in your brain. You're literally rewiring yourself from reactive to responsive, from victim to creator, from effect to the cause of your life. Stop blaming the external for the internal. It's the other way around. If you've skipped To the end of this video, or you're fast-forwarding, I want you to listen to this part. You're not here to avoid pain. You're here to transform it. And if you don't choose how to feel your pain, your pain will choose how to feel you. Your journey isn't about becoming perfect. It's about changing your perception. And in— and becoming whole. And in that wholeness, you'll find the peace That all those nights of using could never provide. The path is not easy, but neither is addiction. The difference is that this difficulty, this work, leads you to something. It leads you to freedom, not bondage. So every time you choose to feel your pain consciously, you're not just healing yourself either. Listen, you're healing and helping our entire community. This is an epidemic. In the community. Whether you want to admit that or not, and whether people are— people in the gay community are talking about it or not, this is worldwide taking over our men in the gay community. They are destroying their, their lives, but most often destroying their minds. We need more men in this community to break free from this substance. And we need more men in this community talking about this epidemic that has AIDS-like consequences. So anything that you can do right now today to heal yourself, to grow yourself, to choose, this is my future self, my best and my highest version right now in this moment, you are healing yourself and the community at large and everyone connected to you. All right, guys. I love you all. I love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to comment below with any and all feedback. What is your experience with pain? What is your experience with Tina? All right, have a good week.