Dallas Bragg describes swapping meth addiction for addiction to external validation. The same nervous system that craved crystal now hunts approval from clients. He says the recovery industry itself became his new dealer, supplying the dopamine hit he once got from drugs.
I was still addicted, but addicted to validation. That same nervous system that once craved crystal was now craving approval from my clients. That same brain that once planned elaborate schemes to get drugs was now planning elaborate strategies to be the perfect success story. Those same emotions that I once numbed with meth were now being numbed with busyness, people pleasing, and the dopamine hit of helping others heal. I had traded one dealer for another, except now my dealer was the entire recovery industrial complex, and my drug was external validation. Take away the meth, you still have all that shit underneath that led you to meth in the first place.
