Dallas Bragg describes an alter ego that emerges during attempts to quit crystal meth, rooted in trauma and the belief "I am not enough." It manifests through specific behaviors like opening Grindr and seeking the pipe. Recovery means replacing those limiting beliefs with affirmations: "I am enough, I am lovable, I am worthy."
You feel like there are 2 personalities trapped inside your mind. The one who wants to stop using crystal and the one who takes over your body. You know him. He clicks on Grindr for you. He drives the car to the party for you. Often when we've decided to stop using crystal, this alter ego appears and leads us down the relapse road. Who is this persona? This entity is actually the remnants of your old programming, your past patterns, and the trauma that created addiction in the first place. This alter ego was born when you believed the limiting beliefs like, I am not enough, I am not lovable, I am not worthy of happiness. So when you begin the recovery route, you are changing those beliefs to the opposite. I'm— I am enough, I am lovable, I am worthy. But anytime you stop believing those and decide to believe the limiting beliefs about yourself, you are inviting that alter ego back in. And when he's invited, he will take over. And before you know it, you're walking into the dingy apartment looking for the pipe. So repeat, I am enough. I am lovable. I am worthy, until you believe those things. Those are true. Those are valid. And those beliefs invite your future self in, your true self.
