Are you afraid of needles?

It took me 2 years of getting my blood drawn every 3 months because I'm living with HIV before not being totally triggered by the needle going in my arm. In the beginning, I would literally start screaming, crying, having this visceral body reaction to it because the nightmare I had lived the previous year. And yes, sometimes it actually Triggered me to want to relive that nightmare. It was actually enticing. You know how it is. There's euphoric recall of what it feels like right at the beginning, but you forget about what happens at the end. Here's what I did to try to get over that. The first thing I did was communicate. I made sure I told the doctor. I made sure I told the nurses. I made sure I told everyone before the appointment. During that, I was going to be triggered and that I needed support. And I was pleased to know that I was not the only one. I was not the first former meth user to come into the HIV office. Surprise, surprise. Next, I had support system. I had someone come with me to the appointment, and when it was time to get my blood drawn, I had someone come back, hold my hand, let me cry on their shoulder because I literally would cry Every time for, like I said, almost 2 years. I had safeguards put in place after the appointment, just in case it lingered in my mind and I started thinking about using. Safeguards like I would go to someone's home, or they would come to me, or I would make immediate plans. I would have check-ins that evening, and of course, limited access to Grindr. There are breathing exercises that you can do. During the procedure, before, just to get your system regulated. And it will— if it is triggered a little bit, it comes down a lot faster if you are in control of your breath. Are you triggered by the needle at the doctor's office? And if so, what do you do? What are your precautions? Is it any different than mine? Tell me in the comments.