Dallas Bragg, a chemsex recovery coach, argues that gay men relapse because they experience "persona fatigue"—splitting themselves across different contexts. The drugs feel authentic but are an illusion. His solution: write down three core values and live by them everywhere, in work, family, romance, and alone.
After working with many gay men who are trying to quit chemsex, or Tina, or mephedrone, here is one reason why I see they keep going back. Hi, my name is Dallas. I'm a chemsex recovery coach. For many of you, you are experiencing persona fatigue, which means you have a different personality and a different version of you for every aspect of your life, and you end up not understanding how to live authentically. There's this inner desire that you have to just be who you are. And then there's the big question of, who am I anyway? This inability to ever live authentically in your life is driving you back into the chemsex scene, because when you take the substance, you feel like that's the only time you can truly be who you are. But let me tell you, this is another lie of the substance. Taking the substance is only bypassing the work you have to do to find out who you truly are, to have the courage and the healing to be your authentic self, no matter who you're in front of, no matter where you are or how you're feeling. So you see, it's not about the sex, and it's not about an addiction. It's about you never being able to live authentically. What you can do is start by writing 3 values. What are your core values? What do you stand for? Who are you? And then start upholding that, whether you're at work, with family, with friends, whether you are with your partner, and of course, when you're by yourself. Living authentically is going to give you way more freedom, authentic freedom, than the substance ever could.
