Dallas Bragg argues that recovery programs get it wrong by telling people to stop needing validation. The need for approval is hardwired into humans as social mammals. Instead of eliminating it, he says, learn to choose consciously when and why you seek it.
What if you're not supposed to eliminate your need for validation? What if the goal isn't to stop needing it, it's to need it differently? This is a paradox that most recovery programs are not gonna get deep down into enough. You start judging yourself for wanting connection, approval, recognition, all the things that are actually hardwired into our nervous system as social mammals. The truth is paradoxical. Paradoxical. You can't eliminate your need for validation. What you need is to transform your relationship with that need. It's moving from unconscious compulsion to a conscious choice. You are choosing the validation, how you get it, and what it does to serve you.
