Dallas Bragg describes the Caretaker Carl archetype: a gay man who came out later in life and buys his way into community with money, drugs, and rides. The crowd values his resources, not him, leaving him lonely. Bragg urges men like Carl to seek genuine relationships instead.
This week's Tina archetype is Caretaker Carl. Carl is a more seasoned gay man, most likely came out later in life, and feels like he has to make up for lost time. Unfortunately, his shelf life has expired in the mainstream gay community, and the response to his coming out wasn't what he expected. So Carl discovers Tina, and being financially secure, he provides the location, the lube, the poppers, the Gatorade, the Ubers, the drugs. He suddenly becomes very popular. He temporarily finds connection and acceptance, but all the while his heart is truly breaking because he knows why the crowd is actually there. It isn't him, it's his resources. Things are fun for a while, but eventually, in the midst of the crowd, loneliness creeps in. If you are Carl, please know— and I speak from experience here— that you don't have to do this. There are portions of the community Who— that you won't find on the apps, who will connect with you in an authentic and long-lasting way, the way you're really looking for. And there is great sex awaiting you as soon as you realize your own self-worth.
