People stuck in substance use often have two competing desires: wanting to quit and wanting to avoid the painful emotional work recovery requires. This internal conflict keeps them returning to partying even when they no longer enjoy it, because avoidance feels safer than confronting what drove the use in the first place.
You keep asking yourself, why do I keep going back and partying when it's not even fun anymore? It's not even something I want to do. It's because you have 2 competing desires. You have a desire to quit, but you also have a desire to not feel the pain that it's going to take to recover. You have this idea that once you quit using Tina, that life is going to be great and happy and all your problems are solved, and that is not the case. There's this protective part of yourself that doesn't want you to feel the pain that it's going to take to get through everything that has brought you to Tina in the first place. That part is trying to protect you from that uncomfortable state, and by protecting you, it's pulling you back to you. So basically, you have one part pushing you forward and one part pulling you back. It's like a gas and a brake. And you're stuck. The process of getting unstuck out of this buffering state is most of the work I do with my one-on-one coaching. If you're interested, just comment me or DM me and I'll send you the application to get started. I accept 2 new clients every month.
